5 Ways to Force Your Spouse to Get Frugal*

Communication is important in a marriage.  If you can’t communicate, how are you going to get your way?**  I’ve helpfully compiled the best possible ways to get your spouse on board with your budget plans.

1. Don’t include her. When I absolutely, positively cannot afford to be working towards a different goal than my wife, I do my best to ignore her.  I don’t tell her how much we’ve paid off, how much we have left, or what we can afford to spend on groceries.   I think she enjoys not having to worry about the petty details like “Are we overdrawn?” or “Will we be eating Alpo next week?”   I’ll do anything to make her life easier.
2. Nag. Nothing convinces my wife to do things my way like unending scolding.   If I just remind her, day and night, surely she’ll cooperate with my budgeting plans and ideas to save money, right?   Every body loves the attention, and, since we got a text messaging plan, I can shoot her a message every five minutes while she’s at the store.   In all seriousness, this is actually a problem and a source of friction at my house.   Reminding her every time she goes to the store is not an effective strategy.
3. Whine. If nagging fails, I always try to take the advice of my toddlers and whine until I get my way.   “But Ho-uh-neee-eee!  Why’d you buy tha-at?”   It’s always been a big hit at my house.   My wife appreciates the effort I put into getting the third, screechy syllable into simple words, just to try to convince her to give up or see things my way.
4. Obsess. This goes hand-in-hand with both #2 and #3.    If I never giver her the chance to forget about our goals, she can never stray from them.   A memo in the morning, hourly text reminders, and a daily summary of our account balances and month-to-date budget compliance just keeps us working together.    Everything we do can be tied back to our frugal choices and debt repayment, whether it’s a game of Sorry or a trip to a wrestling tournament.
5. Yell. If all else fails, just turn up the volume.   If there’s a problem, I nag at level 10.   Whining loudly enough to wake the neighbors will convince her to comply with my wishes next time.  This has the added benefit of allowing my kids to receive the wisdom of my experience, even if they are in the basement playing games with their friends.

*This obviously isn’t a gender-specific article, but, as a man, I write from a man’s perspective and my pronouns match my perspective.

**Sarcasm.  Really.   Following these rules should result in divorce, NOT happy agreement.  If you are operating under this action plans, get therapy.

Update:  This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.