Please email me at:
Or use the form below.
[contact-form 1 “Contact form 1”]
The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
We live in a decidedly credit-centric culture. Whip out cash to pay for $200 in groceries and watch the funny looks from the other customers and the disgust from the clerk. It’s almost like they are upset they have to know how to count to run a cash register.
If someone doesn’t have a credit card, everyone wonders what’s wrong, and assumes they have terrible credit. That’s a lousy assumption to make, but it happens. For most of the last two years, I shunned credit cards as much as possible, preferring cash for my daily spending. Spending two years changing my spending habits has made me comfortable enough to use my cards again, both for the convenience and the rewards.
Having a decent card brings some advantages.
Credit cards legally provide fraud protection to consumers. Under U.S. federal law, you are not responsible for more than $50 of fraudulent charges. many card issuers have extended this to $0 liability, meaning you don’t pay a cent if your card is stolen. Trying getting that protection with a wallet full of cash.
The fraud protection makes it easier to shop online, which more people are doing every day. At this point, there is no product you can buy in person that you can’t get online, often cheaper. How would you order something without a credit card? Even the prepaid cards you can buy and fill at a store will often fail during an online transaction because there is no actual person or account associated with the card. The “name as it appears on the card” is a protective feature for the credit card processors and they dislike accepting cards without it.
If you’re going to use a credit card, you need to make a good choice on which credit card to get. There are a few things to check before you apply for a card.
Annual fee. Generally, I am opposed to getting any card with an annual fee, but sometimes, it’s worth it. If, for example, a card provides travel discounts and roadside assistance with its $65 annual fee, you can cancel AAA and save $75 per year. A good rewards plan can balance out the fee, too. I’m using a travel rewards card that has a 2% rewards plan. That’s 2% on every dollar spent, plus discounts on some travel purchases. In a few months, I’ve accumulated $500 of travel rewards for the $65 fee that was waived for the first year. The math works. A card that charges an annual fee without providing services worth several times that fee isn’t worth getting.
Interest rate. This should be a non-issue. You should be paying off you card completely every month. In a perfect world. In the real world, sometimes things come up. In my case, I was surprised with a medical bill for my son that was 4 times larger than my emergency fund. It went on the card. So far, I’ve only had to pay one month’s interest, and I don’t see the balance surviving another month, but it’s nice that I’m not paying a 20% interest rate. Unfortunately, as a response the CARD Act, the days of fixed rate 9.9% cards seems to be over.
Grace period. This is the amount of time you have when the credit card company isn’t charging you interest. Most cards offer a 20-25 day grace period, but still bill monthly. That means that you’ll be paying interest, even if you pay your bill on time. To be safe, you’ll need to either find a card that has a 30 day grace period, or pay your balance off every 15-20 days. Some of the horrible cards don’t offer a grace period of any length. Avoid those.
Activation fees. Avoid these. Always. There’s no card that charges an activation fee that’s worth getting. An activation fee is an early warning sign that you’ll be paying a $200 annual fee and 30% interest in addition to the $150 activation fee.
Other fees. What else does the card charge for? International transactions? ATM fees? Know what you’ll be paying.
Service. Some cards provide some stellar services, include concierge service, roadside assistance, and free travel services. Some of that can more than balance out the fees they charge. My card adds a year to the warranty of any electronics I buy with it, which is great.
Credit cards aren’t always evil, if you use them responsibly. Just be sure you know what you’re paying and what you’re getting.
What’s in your wallet?
I’m a debtor.
I’d like that to be otherwise, but I’m pretty close to the limit of what I can do to change that. Don’t get me wrong, it’s changing, but there is a limit to how many side projects I can take on at one time. So, I’m in debt and likely to stay that way for the next couple of years.
As part of my budget, I set up a few categories of items that are either necessities or “really wants” without being immediate expenses. For example, I’m setting aside some money each month for car repairs, even though my car isn’t currently broken. When it comes time to fix something, I hope to have the money available to fix it, without having to scramble or <spit> tap into my emergency fund.
All told, I have about a dozen of these categories set up, each as a separate INGDirect savings account. Twice a month, a few hundred dollars gets transferred over and divided among the savings goals. Most of these goals are short-term; they will be spent within the year, like the account for my property taxes. Some of them are open-ended, like my car repair fund. Some are open ended, but will eventually end, like the fund to finance my son’s braces. All of the accounts are slowly growing.
As I’ve watched the progress of my savings accounts, I’ve noticed something funny.
It may only be a few thousand dollars, but it’s more money than I have ever had saved. The vast majority of this money will be spent over the next few years, but having it there, now means that I have tomorrow covered. For the first time in my life, I’m not living paycheck to paycheck. No matter what happens, I know I can make ends meet for a couple of months. That fact alone has reduced my stress level more than I could have imagined.
Two years ago, I was sure I was going to file bankruptcy. Now, I’m looking at being just two years away from having all of my debt gone. I have faith that my future will be bright, and only getting brighter. If I can dig myself out of this hole once, I can do it again, no matter what happens.
This has brought a calm that I can’t easily explain. I don’t have to worry about where next week’s groceries are going to come from, or how we’re going to afford braces in a couple of years.
Having an emergency fund and some auxiliary funds has been entirely worth the work we’ve done for last two years. Have you noticed any changes as you pay off your debt and build savings?
If you’re like millions of people who saw Miley Cyrus’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards recently, you’ve probably wondered what the effect of massive success on the music and acting star. Cyrus seems to be
doing everything possible to remake her image in the exact opposite of her squeaky clean mold that Disney and other companies have created for her over the last several years. (A rumor has it that Disney even created a contractual obligation for Cyrus to maintain a certain haircut during her “Hannah Montana” television show.) There’s a sense of someone taking on their first sense of independence, and running with it — the star seemed to be sending the message to the audience that she was not going to live according to the expectations of others anymore, and from the look of it, they got that message loud and clear.
The fact that Cyrus is barely into her 20s should tell you something about how much time she has to develop her career. She has enough to retire at an age when most people are just starting their first real job. And that is a tough position to be in. If she is hoping to push her singing and acting career well into adulthood — as most artists would like to — it may be that she is trying to make her mark now. Think of it a bit like Bob Dylan in 1964, releasing electric music for the first time, when before that point he was primarily known as a folk singer making gentle acoustic music.
Dylan’s idea may have been a bit like what Cyrus’ is. That is to say, maybe Miley Cyrus is trying to avoid becoming a has-been, a relic of the 2000’s who burned out playing inoffensive pop music. If this is the case, Cyrus may be able to shift her career into a different mode by showing herself to be an uncompromising artist. Remember that even the greats of the past — Frank Sinatra for example — were once viewed as essentially music for teenagers, and not serious artists. Sinatra even suffered career failure in his 20’s when his audience grew up and moved on to other things. But he came back to record success when he began allowing his music to mature and his ideas to gain focus. If Cyrus can pull such a move, she may not be remembered as a teeny-bopper, but as a serious artist.
“Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, [makes squish gesture] get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do “yes”, or karate do “no”. You karate do “guess so”, [makes squish gesture] just like grape. Understand?” -Mr. Miyagi
It occurred to me that lately, I’ve changed my day-to-day cash flow plans a couple of times.
A year ago, I was running on a fairly strict cash-only plan.
A month ago, I was running on a strict budget, but doing it entirely out of my checking account.
Now, I’m loosening the budget reins, and moving all of my payments and day-to-day spending to a credit card, including a new balance that I can’t immediately pay off.
The thing is, changing plans too often scares me. Like the quote at the beginning of this post, I start worrying about being squished like a grape.
The simple fact is that any plan will work.
If you want to get out of debt, just pick a plan and run with it. If that means you follow Dave Ramsey and do the low-balance-first debt snowball, good for you. Do it. If you follow Suze Ormann and do a high-interest first repayment plan, great. Do it. If you follow Bach and pay based on a complicated DOLP formula to repay in the quickest manner, wonderful! Do it!
Just don’t switch plans every month. If you do that, you’ll lose momentum and motivation. Squish like grape! Just pick a plan and go. It really, truly does not matter which plan you are following as long as you are following through.
This applies to other parts of your life, too. For example, there are a thousand fad diets out there. Here’s a secret: they all work. Every single one of them, whether it’s Weight Watchers, slow carb, or the beer-only diet. The only thing that matters is that you stick to the diet. If you manage that, you will lose weight on any diet out there. Except for the jelly bean and lard diet. That one will make you extra soft.
Another secret: the productivity gurus are right. Every single one of them. David Allen, Stephen Covey, Steve Pavlina, and the rest. They all have the One True Secret to getting the most out of your day. Really. Pick a guru and go! But don’t try to Get Things Done in the morning and do 7 Habits at night. Changing systems, changing plans, changing your mind will make you sabotage yourself.
The real secret to accomplishing great things, whether it’s paying off $100,000 of debt, dropping 40 pounds in 3 months, or tripling your productivity is to do it. Just get started and, once you’ve started, don’t stop. If you keep going and stay consistent, you’ll accomplish more than anyone who hops from system to system every few weeks.
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
-Duncan Idaho, from God-Emperor of Dune
Some people suck the life out of everyone they encounter. Whether it be through lies, unreasonable demands, emotional abuse or manipulation, or just a vile personalty, the people they meet are worse off for the encounter. The people they interact with every day are screwed.
My time is too precious to waste any of it unnecessarily on people who remove value from it. I like being with people who enrich my life, instead.
Unfortunately, since I’m not an advocate for the use of hitmen, not every toxic person is easy to eliminate from your life.
Toxic people come in 3 basic varieties: professional, personal, and family. There is some overlap between the categories.
The personal category is easiest to deal with. These people aren’t relatives or coworkers, so you won’t see them at family gatherings or at work. I’ve dealt with these people in two ways.
First, there is the direct approach. One former friend, who was really only a friend when it was convenient for him(a pure leech), got told that he wasn’t invited to one of our parties because I was inviting his ex-wife, instead. That was the last time he called me.
The second option is far more passive. I set up a contact group in my phone called “Life’s too short”. At first, I set it up with a fairly insulting ring tone, but I later switched it to no ring at all. I don’t know they’ve called until I check my voicemail. It’s far less direct, but also far easier than the direct approach.
Dealing with the toxic people in your family is more complicated. You’ll see them at holiday gatherings, or hear about them during unrelated visits. You probably have a lot of memories growing up with them, and may feel some level of obligation–deserved or not–to maintain contact. It’s hard to break a tie that you’ve had your entire life.
Can you fix their behavior? It’s worth trying to have a frank discussion about how they are treating you, or the things they are doing. If the problem is that they are constantly bringing over their methhead boyfriends, banning the drug addicts from your home, while still welcoming the relative may be an acceptable fix. If the problem is a constant need to belittle you, demanding they stop may work. If the problem is a lifetime of emotional abuse, it probably isn’t fixable.
Is banishment an option? Can you put that creepy cousin on the Life’s Too Short list? You’ll still have to deal with him at family gatherings, but you can always leave the room when he comes in, right? Don’t engage, don’t participate in any conversation beyond a polite greeting, and don’t offer any encouragement towards regular contact.
It’s possible that it won’t be possible to fix their behavior and that you won’t want to banish the offender. If, for example, the offender is your mother (Not you, Mom!), you may feel a sense of obligation to maintain contact, or even be a primary caregiver at times. This is a line nobody else can draw for you. At some point, the current bad behavior could overwhelm the past obligations. When that happens are you prepared for it? That can be a traumatic break.
The other option, as cold as it sounds, is to wait it out. Nature will take its course, eventually. Can you wait that long, while maintaining your sanity and emotional equilibrium?
Professional toxic people include customers, vendors, and coworkers, none of whom are easy to get rid of.
If you own the business, you can fire your problem customers if the hassle outweighs the benefits you get from the relationship. You can find a new vendor, and you can fire the problem employees.
What happens if you are an employee?
If the problem is your boss, your options are to suck it up, talk to his boss, or find a new job. If the first is intolerable, and the second is impossible, it’s time to polish your resume.
If the problem is a vendor, you’ve got some options. Document the problems, first. Does he make inappropriate jokes, or badmouth you to your customers? Then, research the alternatives. Does one of his competitors offer an equivalent product or service? Take the documentation and research to your boss, or whoever makes that decision, and see if you can get your company to make the switch. The other option, is to request someone new to deal with at the vendor’s company, but that may not always be possible.
Finally, we come to the problem of toxic coworkers.
Some coworkers have the same problems as a toxic boss. Is the company vice-president the boss’s baby brother? You’re probably not going to find a win there. You’ll have to suck it up or move on.
Is the problem person working in an unrelated department doing unrelated tasks? It may be possible to start taking breaks at different times and leave him where he belongs: in the past.
Is the difficult individual sharing an office with you, demanding everything be done his way, and throwing daily tantrums? This is the one that has to be dealt with. He’s the one sucking the life out of you every single day.
First, start making use of a voice recorder. If you’ve got a smartphone, you’ve probably already got one. Otherwise, drop the $20 to buy one. This lets you document the evil. When his behavior goes hinky, record it.
Second, stand up for yourself. If he’s making unreasonable demands, tell him it’s inappropriate. He’s a bully, and bullies tend to back down when they are confronted.
Third, make sure the boss knows about the behavior. Yes, this is tattling. Get over it. If he wasn’t acting like he was a spoiled 4 year old, you wouldn’t have to tell the boss that he was. If the boss doesn’t know there’s a problem, he can’t deal with it.
Fourth, for any problem that isn’t directly aimed at you, ignore it. If he makes a habit of throwing a tantrum because somebody emptied the coffee pot, or because the company switched health plans, let him. Only get in the way if it’s directed at you. Over time, the tantrums will get more noticeable and out of hand, forcing the boss to deal with it, preferably by handing him a pink slip.
Your goal is documentation, awareness, and avoidance. Make the worst of it go elsewhere so you can be as productive as possible, document what you can, and let the boss become aware of the situation and how bad it has become. And be patient. This isn’t an overnight fix.
How do you deal with the toxic people in your life?