This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
A Brighter Future: 3 Simple Things Parents Can Do to Make a Difference
[Editor: This is a guest post from my good friend Terra. I’ve know her for–jeez, really–20 years. If you’re looking for a staff writer, hit her up. Seriously. She’s good people.]
Who doesn’t want a brighter future for their child? Book store shelves overflow with parenting advice tomes and how-to guides to make “uber-kids”. Eager parents lap up promises to raise their children’s I.Q., increase their chances to get into college, and improve their social skills.
From books to apps to specialized software, there is a dizzying number of products available to help your child grow into the genius you know he or she is.
But what if I told you that the secrets to increasing your child’s likelihood to succeed in life were absolutely free. Simple things you have complete control over. No batteries or special upgrades required. No matter your income, education level, or what country you live in, these deceptively simple tips offer powerful results.
- Make Mealtimes Sacred
Food connects people. From the dawn of time, our species has gathered around the fire, to break bread and share our stories.
In modern times, our schedule can be crazy (between work, social activities, and, you know, life) so having dinner on the table at 6 o’clock every night is not always possible. However, studies consistently show that having a family meal at least 3 times a week has huge benefits for children (from teenagers being less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, to increased academic success, to reduced risk of developing eating disorders or becoming obese, the implications are impressive). And it doesn’t have to be dinner, any meal will work. Consistency is the key.
Far from being boring, children find the predictable routine of family meals reassuring, promoting warm, fuzzy feelings of closeness and comfort (though teenagers will never admit it). Whether it’s take-out or made from scratch goodness, nothing says “I care about you” like sharing a meal.
Quality matters here, so remove distractions during meal time (turn off the TV, ban phones) and focus on each other. Take this time to reconnect and talk about your day and ask the kids about theirs. Make this time sacred. It matters that much.
- Hug Frequently
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” – Virginia Satir, psychotherapist
Receiving a loving hug feels wonderful. But beyond feeling “nice”, hugs literally have the power to heal us and improve our lives.
Hugs have superpowers. A hug has the power to release a “happiness hormone cocktail” of oxytocin (natural antidepressant, promotes feelings of devotion, trust and bonding), dopamine (intense pleasure), and serotonin (elevates mood, negates pain and sadness) in both the giver and receiver. Bonus, hugs are naturally gluten-free, organic, and have no unpleasant side effects.
To get the most benefits, prolonged hugging is recommended, around 20 seconds. A full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation. However, this hug fest only works its magic if you’re hugging someone you trust. Since children love to be held and cuddled, this is ideal for family bonding. Not so much with that new client you just landed (awkward…).
How does hugging effect children specifically? Children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. Hugging boosts self-esteem; from the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. All of those cuddles we give to our children are imprinted on them at a cellular level and will still be imbedded in their nervous system as adults. Hugs today equal the ability to self-love as adults. That’s an awesome gift.
- Create a Home Library
We all know how important reading aloud to children is, from infants to teenagers. Reading is one of the most important factors affecting the development of a child’s brain. But reading skills are not hardwired into us; we don’t pop out of the womb quoting “Pride and Prejudice”. Reading skills need to be taught and encouraged.
Parents are a child’s first, and most important, teachers. While children can learn from flashcards and workbooks, nothing is more powerful than seeing your passion for reading. Whether you like it or not, your children are learning from your every move. What you find important, they will find important. No pressure! Teaching reading to your child requires attention, focus, and motivation. It also requires access to books, lots and lots of books.
Libraries are a great resource for developing a love of reading in your child. Most have a thoughtfully arranged children’s area offering story-time and other enrichment opportunities. However, nothing beats having a book to call your own, to hold and cherish, until the edges are worn with love.
Having a well-stocked home library, it turns out, matters. A lot. This study found that having a 500-book library was equivalent to having university-educated parents in terms of increasing the level of education their children will attain. That’s pretty powerful. It doesn’t matter if your family is rich or poor, from North America or Asia, if your parents are illiterate or college-educated, what matters is that you have books in your home.
Don’t’ have the space for 500 books? No worries. Having as few as 20 books in the home still has a significant impact on propelling a child to a higher level of education, and the more books you add, the greater the benefit.
Having a variety of books available makes a difference; especially important are reference books, with history and science texts having the greatest benefit.
No money for books? No Excuse! Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library is a great resource for free, high-quality children’s books. When you sign up, your child is mailed a new book each month until the age of five, addressed to them (a very special thing indeed).
I hope these tips empower you to take action. Small changes can have a big impact on your child’s future. Just remember, it’s not the money you make or the tutor you’ve hired or the new app you’ve installed that will catapult your baby Einstein ahead in life. It’s the quiet moments with you at home, eating, hugging, and reading that will carry them through whatever life brings their way.
Are these things you would like to focus on in your family? Do you have simple parenting tips that have made a difference in your child’s life?
How to Maximize Your Income and Reduce Your Expenditures
If the past few years have taught us anything, it’s that we need to be taking out less debt and building up more savings. And certainly, it’s where the public seem to be heading – levels of mortgage overpayment and personal savings have rocketed in the past year amongst those who have the luxury of being able to put income aside.
For many of us though, finding money to save is a real struggle. After the bills and living costs are taken out of a monthly salary payment, there’s not always a lot left to play with. So what do you do?
The answer lies in getting tough with yourself, carrying out a review of your current spending patterns and working out a sensible budget. Essentially you need to both maximise income and reduce expenditure – both sides of the coin. There are plenty of ways to do this when you start thinking, so be creative and start thinking outside the box.
Here are a few top tips to get you started:
Ask for a pay rise – it seems like an obvious option, but so many of us never do it. Take a look at the market and see what similar companies are offering for your job role or profession. This will give you an idea of whether you’re currently being paid enough for your skills level and experience.
Ask your manager in a calm and prepared manager and come with facts and examples to back up your request. If the request is turned down, try again in a few months time, with more evidence. Also, ask HR for advice about your job salary banding and progression, so you show that you’re serious.
Get a new job – the obvious option when your pay rise request is denied. You may find that you can earn more elsewhere in the same profession, or flex your skills into a new career entirely. See a professional careers advisor for guidance.
Get a second income – more people than ever are opting for this route, by becoming self-employed on a part time basis. There are numerous industries that rely on an army of part-time staff, often self-employed. Examples are party-planners, sales people, freelance designers, coders, copywriters and researchers, market researchers, bar and restaurant staff and plenty more.
Take in a lodger – if you have a spare room, then the government allows you to take in a lodger without paying tax on rental income (up to £4250 pa.) This can be an effective way to make the use of your home to bring in income. Do your research first though on how to select the right lodger and make the relationship work.
Look for opportunities to earn – examples include signing up for overtime during busy periods at work or selling unwanted items on eBay. You could also sign up with the local council to count votes during election period, or help steward at large events. There are various agencies offering links to such opportunities if you search online.
On the other side of the coin lies spending reduction. This is a bitter pill for some to swallow, but there really is no point in earning more if you’re not going to make good use of it!
Food shopping – when it comes to food shopping, start using grocery coupons/vouchers and sign up for reward schemes. Downgrade your brands when you’re out shopping, so that you save money on you shop each time. Look at bulk buying offers, local grocers, markets and other opportunities to slash monthly grocery bills.
Travel – identify ways to save on travel, firstly by walking when a journey is a mile and under. If you’re doing this regularly you’ll save on petrol and you can cancel your gym subscription! With train tickets, book well in advance to take advantage of special deals and with holidays, look for cheap holiday offers and promotions via online search sites – these check the whole of the market to find the best prices and options for your requirements. Holiday extras such as car hire and airport parking can also usually be arranged via these online travel sites so be sure to compare prices to save yourself some money.
Clothes shopping – instead of shopping expensively on the high street, channel your passion for fashion into eBay. Many of your regular brands will be on there already and you can sell last season’s purchases to make way for the current season of items. Get savvy with bids and set yourself limits – you’ll find some great bargains if you’re clever about it!
Entertainment – when it comes to entertainment, sign up to group buying schemes for special offers and look more broadly in your area for things to do that don’t cost a lot of money. Things like local leisure centres, museums, parks, libraries, city parades and exhibitions are often free or subsidised by the council and you can enjoy time with the family without spending a lot of money on more commercial entertainments.
Hobbies – rather than taking up yet another expensive sport that you’ll buy all the equipment for and then never see through, find low cost hobbies to enjoy and cultivate. Walking or running, painting, music appreciation, gardening, racket sports, debating groups, local social clubs – all of these can be enjoyed without necessarily parting with too much cash. And it will broaden your horizons too – thinking more broadly about what counts, such as spending time with loved ones, rather than throwing money at free time like there’s no tomorrow!
This post brought to you by MoneySupermarket.
Book Review: Delivering Happiness
In April, I was given an advanced reader copy of Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh on the condition that I give it an honest review. Delivering Happiness is being released today and here is my review.
Tony Hsieh was one of the founders of LinkExchange, which sold to Microsoft for $256 million in 1999. Shortly thereafter, he became affiliated with Zappos.com and ended up as CEO. Zappos.com was later sold to Amazon.com as a “wholly-owned subsidiary” in a stock-exchange transaction valued at $1.2 billion.
Delivering Happiness is his story and that of the creation and management of Zappos.com.
The book is divided into three sections: Profits, Passion, and Purpose.
Section 1 is largely autobiographical. It tells the story of Hsieh’s business ventures all through his life, from a failed worm farm to a failed newspaper to an abandoned greeting card business. Obviously the business of having children sell greeting cards had improved between his childhood and mine, because, when I did it, there were many more choices than just Christmas cards. I still have both the telescope and microscope I earned selling overpriced greeting cards. An important lesson imparted is that past success is not an indicator of future success. Different personalities, goals, and economics can change the result of two nearly identical activities.
Hsieh tells the story of the excitement of building LinkExchange and how he knew it was time to move on when the excitement faded, largely due to a surprising change to the corporate culture. After leaving, he spent some time just living and reviewing his past activities. He came to the conclusion that the happiest times of his life didn’t involve money. Doing things right beats strictly maximizing profits. Taking business lessons from the poker table, he reminds his readers that the Right Decision may lose sometimes, but it is still Right.
When he gets into building his business on a foundation of relationships, he is reminiscent of Keith Ferrazzi. Don’t network. Build your relationships based on friendship and let the friendship be it’s own reward. The rest will follow.
Section 2–while denying it was intended–reads heavily like marketing copy. It is almost entirely about how wonderful Zappos.com is to work for and with. I think it is fascinating to read about how successful businesses are built and how the corporate culture comes with that, but it’s not for everyone. The important points from this section include being open to necessary change without being reckless and their insistence on transparency. I don’t believe in hoarding information and it’s wonderful to hear others feel the same way. They go as far as giving all of the profitability and sales numbers to the vendors, live, which makes the vendors feel respected and gives the vendors an opportunity to suggest future orders based on past trends. That saves time and effort for the buyers at Zappos.com.
Section 3 attempts to tie the business lessons to life lessons and almost–but not quite–succeeds. After discussing differences in vision and alignment between the Zappos executives and the board, he talks about his growing speaking arrangements. When he started, he nervously memorized his presentations, resulting in mediocre speeches. When he discovered his “flow”, it all improved. His method of writing and speaking involves being passionate about his topic, telling personal stories, and being real. When he adopted that plan, his speaking became natural and popular.
In the final chapter, Hsieh actually discusses happiness. His equation is Perceived Control + Perceived Progress + Connectedness + Vision & Meaning = Happiness. He works to apply all of this as a part of the corporate culture at Zappos, giving the employees a measure of control over their advancement, duties, and culture. The employees help write the Corporate Culture book, which is given to all new hires and vendors. I intend to get a hold of a copy in the near future. It sounds like a fascinating read.
He also addresses the three types of happiness: Pleasure, Passion, and Higher Purpose, also described as Rockstar, In The Zone, and Being a Part of Something Bigger. The first is fleeting, and the last is long-lasting.
Would I recommend the book?
Yes. I found Delivering Happiness to be incredibly interesting, but, if you have no interest in how a successful-but-not-traditional company is built and run, or if you are bored by successful people, this book is not for you. The book is largely autobiographical and a case study in the success of Zappos.com. If that sounds remotely interesting, you will not regret reading this book.
Now, the fun part. I was given two copies of the book. The first one is becoming a permanent part of library. The second is being given away.
Giveaway
There are three ways to enter:
1. Twitter. Follow me and post the following: @LiveRealNow is giving away a copy of Delivering Happiness(@dhbook). Follow and RT to enter. http://bit.ly/czd31X
2. Become a fan on Facebook and post about the giveaway.
3. Post about the giveaway on your blog and link back to this post.
That’s 3 possible entries.
Next Sunday, I will throw all the entries in a hat and draw a name.
Future Reviews
If you have a book you’d like me to review, please contact me.
10 Top Tips for Reducing Household Expenses
Regardless of the economic climate, it is always a savvy move to assess your expenditure and look for ways to cut your energy costs. Small changes can make a big difference to your energy efficiency and reduce your outgoings significantly.
1. Know Your Accurate Energy Usage
Do not pay for estimated resources. Using a smart meter will tell your exact energy consumption and means you simply pay for your actual confirmed gas usage. So many customers are unknowingly trapped into paying for estimated energy, which can be very costly.
2. Secure an Suitable Tariff
Once you have established your actual gas and electric consumption using a smart meter, speak your energy supplier regarding the various available tariffs.
There are over 120 tariffs available for energy in the UK and there is definitely one to suit all households. Being more assertive in this area can save you money instantly.
3. Let There Be (Energy Efficient) Light
Lighting accounts for up to 40 per cent of our individual electricity bills.
Change light bulbs to energy saving bulbs for a progressive way of reducing your energy expenses. As energy efficient bulbs last ten times longer than normal high-watt bulbs, any cost in making this switch will be quickly recuperated.
Although many days in the UK are dismal, cleaning windows and opening blinds means that rooms can generally be lit with natural light.
4. Don’t Tumble Dry
Tumble drying your clothes is one of the most financially and environmentally expensive appliance usages. Though energy efficient products are now available, try to make use of any other means you have for drying clothes.
During the winter months, fill indoor clothing racks and radiators within items to be dried. Summer washing is generally less of a problem, with warmer temperatures meaning you can hang loads of washing outside to dry naturally.
5. Switch Off Electrical Equipment
Turning your electronic equipment off at night can cause impressive yearly reductions in your expenditure. Encourage the family to turn all laptops, consoles and computers off during the night, and unplug phone chargers when not in use.
Simply switching off a computer overnight saves £35 on the cost of running the equipment 24 hours over the course of a year. Once you have factored in the number of computers and other electronic equipment in your home, this could amount to quite a saving.
6. Moderate Your Heating
Turn your heating down by just one degree. Such an unnoticeable alteration to your thermostat holds the potential to cut your energy bills by a whopping £55 per year.
Enhance your savings by becoming more energy efficient. Rather than switching on heating and cooling systems, use doors and windows to regulate temperature.
7. Invest In Energy Saving Appliances
Most appliances on the market now offer detailed insight into their environmental impact. Buying eco-friendly products not only benefits the climate, it also benefits your pocket. The lower the amount of energy the appliances consume always equals lower energy bills for your household.
8. Reduce Water Waste
A dripping tap can cost up to £400 per year. Paying out for plumbing services now will definitely save on your water bill.
Rather than bathing daily, swap alternate baths for showers. Showers typically use 35 litres of water, whereas baths take more than double this amount at 80 litre of water per tub. Though this varies depending on the type of your shower, according to South Staffs Water, power showers still save approximately 20 litres on the average bath.
9. Replace Your Old Boiler
If your home currently uses an old G-rated boiler, of 15 years of age or more, then you may find that investing in a new A-rated boiler will save you money long term.
Gas burning boilers eat energy and money and are a costly way of fuelling your home. The government currently offers £400 to those who are looking to purchase a new energy efficient boiler, with companies such as British Gas doubling this grant.
10. Insulate Your Home
Alongside grants for new A-rated boilers, companies are being encouraged by the government to offer discounted (and free) loft and wall cavity insulation. Take the time to see if you are eligible for this as it can make your home significantly warmer, reducing your reliance on central heating.
Be assertive to how you are using resources within your home, small changes can make a big ecological and economic difference.
This is a guest post.
Cutting Healthcare Costs
It’s not a secret that health care can be expensive. Many people pay two and three digit bills for their prescriptions. A visit to the doctor’s office can hurt the budget. Glasses cost hundreds of dollars? How can you cut this cost?
Drugs
If possible, go generic*. There is no difference between Trazorel and trazadone, aside from the cost. Wal-mart, Target, and many other stores offer common generic prescriptions for $4-5. When you are talking to your doctor, ask if there is an drug option that has an available generic. When you are talking to your pharmacist, ask if there is a generic alternative available.
Get the price match. The Cub Foods pharmacy near me matches the Target generic drug price, giving us $4 generics for the asking. This is often an unpublicized deal, so make sure you ask. If your pharmacy will not match nearby prices, consider going elsewhere.
See if there is a 90 day plan. Many insurance companies sponsor a 90 day prescription plan that gives you a 90 supply of drugs for the 60 costs as long as you are willing to accept the drugs by mail. For expensive prescriptions, this 33% discount can be a substantial savings.
Physician
Does your clinic offer online consultations with your doctor or nurses? Some clinics offer a chat or email option to talk to your doctor without requiring a visit that will add fees and copays to your expense sheet. Most clinics and hospitals have a free nurse line for basic questions, like “When is my baby‘s fever dangerous?” It’s a great chance to save some money. I know, from personal experience, that they won’t be shy if they feel you need to come in, but they generally won’t try to convince you to come in if aspirin will fix the problem.
Stay in-network. Check with your insurance company to make sure the doctor you want to see if in your network and therefore, available at the cheapest out-of-pocket price. If not, and you really want that doctor, ask your insurance company if they accept nominations for the network and ask your doctor if he’d be interested in being nominated.
Stay home for your cold. Don’t go to the doctor for every minor problem. The best remedy a doctor can give your for your cold will reduce it to a seven day malady. On the other hand, if you do nothing, it will go away in about a week. Why waste the money? This counts double for the emergency room and urgent care. Strep throat is not an emergency. Wait until morning and go to the clinic, paying the lower fees instead of the large ER costs. Make an appointment for a doctor visit, if possible. Urgent care is billed the same as a regular visit, but most insurance plans double or triple the copay for urgent care visits.
Cash Flow
A Health Savings Account(HSA) is a pre-tax account to save for qualifying medical expenses similar to a Flexible Savings Account(FSA). The main differences are that HSAs are only available for people with high-deductible insurance plans and do not have to be spent on medical expenses. Non-qualifying expenses move from pre-tax to post-tax, meaning you will be charged federal income tax for non-qualifying withdrawals. FSAs are “use it or lose it” plans. If you don’t use it, it will go away, usually at the end of the year. That makes December a great time to stock up on over-the-counter medicines and possibly replace your eyeglasses, as both of those are qualifying expenses. Find out if you have either option available. If you use either one, set aside a place to store every imaginable medical receipt, so you can be reimbursed. Make sure you understand the FSA-eligible expenses.
An Ounce of Prevention
Get routine checkups. The earlier you find a problem, the more options you have. This goes for everything from cancer screenings to blood tests. Get a physical every year and know what is happening with your body. We may be living in the future, but replacement parts are still hard to come by.
Maintain Your Health
It’s cheaper to be healthy. Eat right, exercise, quit smoking.
I enjoy a good meal. It’s one of my favorite things. I won’t cut rich foods out of my diet, so we reduced portions. Beyond the first few bites, the flavor isn’t nearly as enjoyable or even noticeable. There’s no more enjoyment for huge servings than small ones.
Get more exercise, even if it’s just a 2o minute walks twice a week parking on the far side of the parking lot, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
Vision
Go online. This one is worth a write-up all by itself. I have 6 pairs of prescription glasses–all varieties of frames and coatings–that have cost a grand total of about $150. There is no noticeable difference between my cheapies and the designer alternatives. While I work on the write-up, the best site to introduce you to the concept of online glasses is GlassyEyes. Reviews, coupons, and discount likes. They have step-by-step instructions on turning an intimidating idea into a simple and cheap solution to an expensive problem.
How do you save money on health care?
* There are no generics available on new drugs until the initial patent expires. This gives the pharmaceutical companies a change to recoup their research and development costs. Without this patent period, new private drug research would evaporate. Don’t hate the brand names, but don’t show undue loyalty.
