- @Elle_CM Natalie's raid looked like it was filmed with a strobe light. Lame CGI in reply to Elle_CM #
- I want to get a toto portable bidet and a roomba. Combine them and I'll have outsourced some of the least tasteful parts of my day. #
- RT @freefrombroke: RT @moneybeagle: New Blog Post: Money Hacks Carnival #115 http://goo.gl/fb/AqhWf #
- TED.com: The neurons that shaped civilization. http://su.pr/2Qv4Ay #
- Last night, fell in the driveway: twisted ankle and skinned knee. Today, fell down the stairs: bruise makes sitting hurt. Bad morning. #
- RT @FrugalDad: And to moms, please be more selective about the creeps you let around your child. Takes a special guy to be a dad to another' #
- First Rule of Blogging: Don't let real life get in the way. Epic fail 2 Fridays in a row. But the garage sale is going well. #
Delayed Gratification
I work daily to raise my kids to be more financially responsible than I have been. One of the most difficult pieces has been to explain the benefits of delayed gratification to my children. It’s hard enough, as an adult, to take delayed gratification to heart. For a child? It seems to be almost impossible.
My son wants an XBox 360 Elite. Good for him. He wants to renegotiate the terms of his allowance to get it faster. Currently, every other time he gets an allowance paid out, it goes into his bank account, to be mostly untouched. The other times he can do as he pleases with his money. We are enforcing a 50% long term savings plan. Now, with a medium-term goal in mind, he wants to keep all of his money, and only put gift money into the bank account.
Should we let him tap his bank account for a shiny new bauble? It’s been building for a while, so it’s delayed, right? I don’t think that would accomplish much. Like any other 10-year-old, his interests change often.
Should we let him change the terms of our agreement, speeding a medium-term goal at the expense of his long-term savings? My wife and I haven’t had a chance to discuss this, but my initial reaction is not to allow it. His savings has the potential to turn into a decent car in a few years, if he wants. That would be a car he knows he earned.
Last week, when we were at the store, he asked if he could borrow some money to buy a game. I don’t expect him to carry his money around everywhere, so I would have allowed it, if he would have had the money at home. He didn’t. His plan was to pay me what he did have as soon as we got home, then work his butt off for a few days to earn enough extra to pay it back. I won’t be a credit agency for my kids, so I said no. He was disappointed, but, by the time he had earned the money, he no longer wanted the game. I consider that a win, but I don’t know that he learned any lesson other than “Dad’s a jerk.”
Someday, when his life launch is smooth due to a lack of debt-dependence, he’ll look back on these lessons and smile.
I hope.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-29
- RT @ramseyshow: RT @E_C_S_T_E_R_I_: "Stupid has a gravitational pull." -D Ramsey as heard n NPR. I know many who have not escaped its orbit. #
- @BudgetsAreSexy KISS is playing the MINUTE state fair in August. in reply to BudgetsAreSexy #
- 3 year old is "reading" to her sister: Goldilocks, complete with the voices I use. #
- RT @marcandangel: 40 Useful Sites To Learn New Skills http://bit.ly/b1tseW #
- Babies bounce! https://liverealnow.net/hKmc #
- While trying to pay for dinner recently, I was asked if other businesses accepted my $2 bills. #
- Lol RT @zappos: Art. on front page of USA Today is titled "Twitter Power". I diligently read the first 140 characters. http://bit.ly/9csCIG #
- Sweet! I am the number 1 hit on Ask.com for "I hate birthday parties" #
- RT @FinEngr: Money Hackers Carnival #117 Wedding & Marriage Edition http://bit.ly/cTO4FU #
- Nobody, but nobody walks sexy wearing flipflops. #
- @MonroeOnABudget Sandals are ok. Flipflops ruin a good sway. 🙂 in reply to MonroeOnABudget #
- RT @untemplater: RT @zappos: "Do one thing every day that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt #
How Much Should You Tip?
This post from CNN Money has been making the rounds. I’m getting into the game today.
With the holiday season upon us, tipping the people you work with is a tradition in some cases and actually expected in others. Here’s what CNN came up with and my take:
- Housekeeper. We don’t have one. I’d think $75-100 would make a nice tip/Christmas bonus. I seem to be more generous than average with my imaginary maid. Maybe that’s because of the outfits she wears.
- Gardener. Once again, we don’t have one. Even if we did, I live in Minnesota and have close to a foot of snow over the patch of weeds I call my garden. If I did have a gardener, I wouldn’t have seen him for a few months by now, anyway. $0!
- Mail carrier. I’ve only met my mail man a dozen times and I’ve never considered giving him a Christmas present. Do people really do that?
- Barber. I don’t have one any more. My wife has started doing my hair for me. When I did, I tipped about 25%, but again, I wouldn’t think about a Christmas present. I only saw him quarterly. I don’t think my wife has a regular stylist either. She’s just got a shop she goes to and gets whoever is available. Is there holiday tipping protocol for that?
- Garbage collector. No way. Really? I don’t know that I’ve seen the same guy twice. Am I supposed to give a present to the anonymous, interchangeable union guy that drives past my house every Friday?
- Newspaper carrier. One night, twelve years ago, while my wife was still working graveyard shifts, she had a hard time sleeping on her nights off. That’s natural for 3rd shift workers. At about 4AM, she was watching TV and saw someone run past the window. Scared, she came to wake me up. I handed her the phone to call the police, while I grabbed the only thing I had for self-defense and went to investigate. I ran out on the front step–in my boxers, carrying a sword–and saw someone lurking in the neighbor’s yard across the street. I yelled, “Y0u don’t belong here!” only to hear “I’m delivering the paper!” That’s when I start tipping the newspaper carrier. I stopped when we canceled our subscription a few years later. Who needs a dead tree in the morning, when there are a million news sites on the internet?
If the majority of people are giving Christmas bonuses to that many people, and are as generous as the article suggests, then I fall far to the loutish end of the bell curve. I am planning to give my virtual assistant 1/12 of the pay he’s earned this year, so that should make up for some of it, but that is an ongoing business relationship.
How do you compare when it comes to holiday tipping?
Whiners
I have a lot of friends and family in different financial stages in their lives. Some are deeper in debt than I am, others are just starting to dig their own pit, still others have paid off every cent of debt they’ve ever used. That’s okay; as they say, it takes all kinds to make the world go round.
Out of all of those, the only ones who irritate me are the spendthrift whiners. These are the people who spend 28 days a month struggling to make ends meet and complaining about how hard their lives are. They make snide comments about how easy other people have it, and act like they are being cheated out of their birthright whenever anybody does anything fun that they can’t do because they are too broke.
The other two days—or sometimes three—of the month, are payday. These are the days the the spendthrift whiners try to make themselves feel rich for 24 hours, while wondering why you aren’t willing to hit the fancy restaurants and expensive vacations with them. This is the day they will buy a dozen moves, or a new home theater system, or a big screen TV. It’s the day they will drop a non-refundable deposit on an exotic vacation, or shop for a new car. Before they know what’s happening, the money is gone and they are broke again until next payday, condemned to whining about their horrible situation, while their spendthrift-whiner friends and neighbors complain about the injustice of having to go without luxuries while our hypothetical spendthrift whiners have a big screen TV and an exotic vacation to Dubuque booked.
These people give no thought to the future. Their life savings consist of depreciating electronics and a fancy scrapbook. What do they do when life catches them by surprise? They come begging for a loan, or charge the emergency to a credit card while complaining about the cost of interest. Ultimately, everyone who plans ahead and sets some money aside is obviously trying to rip them off, because nobody can actually do well for themselves without being crooked.
They are absolutely convinced that life is too hard to succeed, and they refuse to examine their own behavior to find the cause of their problems.
Until payday.
What’s your biggest financial pet peeve?
This was originally a guest post written for a blog swap run by the Yakezie personal finance blog network to answer the question “What is your biggest financial pet peeve?“ It ran on Faith and Finance.
A Bit of Christmas Magic
On Thursday, my wife left with my kids and dog. I had to work all day on Friday, so she took off to get an early start on Christmas at my brother’s house. I followed Saturday morning.
Two nights with no whining, and a bed to myself.
Friday afternoon, my wife called to tell me about her day.
When she got to my brother’s, she took her tailgate down to get the suitcases out of the back of her truck. She left the plastic container full of presents in her truck, since we’d be exchanging presents at my parent’s house nearby.
Friday morning, she left to feed her shopping addiction for a few hours.
When she got to the giant store that had our new car seats on sale, she discovered that she had neglected to put the tailgate back up on the truck when she unpacked. This was the box that held most of our budgeting overspend.
Gone.
When she called me, she was retracing her steps, hoping to find the box.
I was upset.
She didn’t find the box on the side of the road.
Gone.
Normally, this would be a strong object lesson in the futility of rampant consumerism. A lot of zen-like “the stuff you own is fleeting”, amidst the wailing of children who are discovering that their Christmas presents evaporated in a ditch somewhere.
Somebody found the box. I don’t know who.
Whoever it was, opened the box and saw the tears of small children inside. She read the name tags and, amazingly, recognized enough of the first names to place the family.
Keep in mind that I live more than 100 miles away, and moved out of the town 15 years ago.
This anonymous Christmas elf brought the box into a nearby gas station, and asked them to call my parents, since the names on the tags matched those of my parents’ grandchildren.
Everything was still in the box.
Everything was still intact.
Anonymous Christmas Elf saved Christmas for my family
.