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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

Money Problems – Day 4: Making a Budget

Finance

Fiscal Year 2010 Budget Briefing (200905070001HQ)
Image by nasa hq photo via Flickr

Today, I continuing the  series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances.   The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances.  It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear.  Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days.  That’s not my schedule.  Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us.   Instead, it will run roughly once a week.  To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

This is day 4 and today, you are going to make a budget.

Now that you’ve got your list of expenses and you’ve figured out your income, it’s time to put them together and do the dreaded deed.  Your going to make a budget today.  Don’t be scared.  I’ll hold your hand.

Here are the tools you need:

  1. Your list of expenses from Day Two.
  2. Your list of income from Day Three.
  3. A spreadsheet.  I recommend the spreadsheet included in Google Docs, but Excel or the Open Office alternative, CALC, are acceptable substitutes.

Setting up the spreadsheet is dead simple.

Create a column for the label, telling you what each line item is.  Create a column to hold the monthly payment amount.   At the bottom of column 2, create a formula that totals your expenses.   If you are including a bill that isn’t due monthly, use a formula similar to the day 3 income formula to figure out what you need to set aside each month.  To figure a quarterly bill, multiply the amount by 4, then divide by 12.  To figure a weekly bill, multiply by 52 and divide by 12.

Scoot over a few columns and do the same thing for your income.

Scoot over a couple more columns and set up a total.  This is easy.  It’s just a matter of subtracting your expenses from you income.  Hopefully, this gives you a positive number.

To make this even easier, I’ve shared a blank budget spreadsheet.  No excuses.  If that simple spreadsheet doesn’t meet your needs, I’ve got a much more detailed version that includes categories.   I use the detailed version.

Making a budget may be the most intimidating financial step you take, but everything else is built on the assumption that you understand where you money came from and where it is going.  Without,it, your navigating a major maze based on a coin flip instead of a map.

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Debt Scams

Finance

When you are up to your eyeballs in debt, praying for a step-stool, sometimes life–more accurately, con-artists–try to trip you when you are vulnerable and look for a solution.  They aren’t muggers on the street.  They come at you wearing ties, invite you to a real office, with real furniture and a real nameplate on a real desk.   They are a real company, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t trying to scam you out of the little money you have left to put towards your debt.

Yes, I am talking about debt management scams.  These scams come in 4 main varieties.

Debt Settlement companies instruct you to stop paying your bills completely and send them the money instead to be placed in a settlement fund.  When your creditors get desperate enough, they will be willing to settle for pennies on the dollar.

In theory, this can be a good strategy for some debtors.  Unfortunately, it has some drawbacks, even if the company is legitimate.   They tend to charge high fees as a percentage of your deposits.  Some take another fee when a settlement is accepted.   The entire time you are building your settlement fund, your credit rating is sinking, leaving you open to being sued or garnished.  The bad companies take the fund and run, while even the good companies can’t guarantee your creditors will play ball.

Ultimately, they aren’t doing anything you can’t easily do yourself.    If you want to go the settlement route, stop making your payments and funnel the money into a savings account that you will use to offer settlements from.  It takes discipline, but there is no upside to paying someone else for the same function.

Debt Management plans are used when you owe more than you can afford to pay. These companies work with your creditors to adjust interest rates and minimum payments and they try to get some fees waived for you.

A good company will work with you and your creditors to make sure everyone is working together towards the goal of eliminating the debt.   A bad company will tell you they are working with your creditors while ignoring any contact from the creditor.  They’ll tell you the creditor isn’t willing to negotiate while never stepping up to the negotiation table.   Another trick is to offer the creditor a set payment, with a “take it or leave it” clause.  Any input from the creditor is interpreted as a refusal to participate.   This, coupled with high fees paid by the debtor, make debt management firms a risky proposition.  Most states require the firms to be licensed.  Check to make sure they are before giving them any information.

Debt/Credit Counseling companies work with you to establish a budget and eliminate expenses; in effect, they are training you to be in control of your finances.  They are often organized as a nonprofit, but not always.

Some–the sleazy ones–lie about what they are doing, or attempt to misconstrue what you are agreeing too.   Be careful not to use your home as collateral to consolidate unsecured debt and don’t walk into a Chapter 13 bankruptcy without that being your intention.  Both of those are common debt counseling scams.  If the company isn’t able to provide all of the details of a transaction–company name, address, licensing information–or they aren’t willing to spend as much time as necessary explaining the details of the transaction, walk away.   This is your life, you are in charge of it.  Don’t let anyone bully or prod you into signing something you aren’t comfortable with.

Credit Repair is almost always a scam. There are ways to get correct bad information removed from your credit report.  If the information is correct, those methods are illegal.   There are two legal methods to repair your credit.  First, stop generating bad credit.  Make your payments on time and eventually, the bad items will fall off.   Second, write letters disputing the actual incorrect items on your credit report.  There are no quick fixes, and anybody telling you different is flirting with a jail sentence, possibly yours.

How do you avoid the scammers?

  • Be skeptical. If it looks to good to be true, it probably is.  There is no such thing as a magic wand to fix your credit and make your debt disappear.  Bankruptcy + 10 years of your life is the closest thing to magic credit repair in this world.
  • Only use a legitimate credit counselor. Verify them through the Better Business Bureau and the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (1-800-388-2227 or www.nfcc.org)
  • Check the license. Most states require credit and debt counselors to be licensed.  If they’re not, run away and report them.
  • Read the find print.   Don’t sign anything you don’t understand.  Like every other piece of your financial life, own the transaction. Know what your are doing, or don’t do it.
  • Are they willing to work with you? If they’ve got a generic plan that doesn’t account for your specific situation, they are probably a con.  At the very least, they are a worthless company and a waste of both time and money.
  • Are they willing to work with your creditors? If not, they won’t be accomplishing anything for you.
  • How much do they cost? Higher fees may not be an indicator of a scam, but call around and find out if they are in the right ballpark.  Triple or quadruple the going rate is a sign of someone who will disappear late one night, with your hopes, dreams and savings in tow.
  • Above all else, trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.  There is nothing a counselor can do that can’t wait a few days while you check them out.

There is no magic bullet to kill debt.   You’re not fighting a werewolf, you’re fighting a lifetime of bad or unfortunate choices and circumstances.  It’s important to keep a realistic outcome in mind.

Update:  This post has been included in the Carnival of Debt Reduction.

Living in Debt: How I Sacrificed My Future

Finance, Life

DSC_0428
Image by lazybone83 via Flickr

For those of you who haven’t been following along, I’m in debt.   Starting 13 years ago, when I was 19, I managed to bury myself in debt, until I decided I’d had enough of that…almost 2 years ago.

Why?

It wasn’t because of college expenses, though they contributed to my debt level.  I was in debt before I went to college.  Heck, I was a daddy before I went to college.

It wasn’t because of  major medical procedures.  The only major medical procedures we’ve ever had were the births of our children, and we had two of them well after we built our shackles.

It wasn’t because we bought more house than we could afford.  We own a modest house that we bought before the bubble started.

Then what was it?  Why did we do the things we did that have financially crippled us for so long?

It was a combination of things, crowned by a glorious lack of financial sophistication.  As I wrote in No Brakes, neither of us had the early training to really understand our financial decisions.  We knew bills need to be paid, but what was the difference if the money came from a credit card versus our checking account?   Why did it matter if we carried a balance on the cards, as long as we could make the payments?  What’s wrong with just making the minimum payment?

Naïve.  Unsophisticated.

That day-to-day lack of sophistication was only part of the problem, and it wasn’t the biggest part.  We made a lot mistakes, but they were all small.  Before 2001, I think our total was about $5000.  Too much, but not painful.

Between the fall of 2001 and the winter of 2002, we took our naïve decision-making process and ran with it.  It was a full-scale mistake marathon.

That year, we built an addition on our house, because a full dining room and a bigger kitchen would make our house so much more livable and it was cheaper than buying a home, new.  Oh, and since the difference between the mandatory crawlspace and a full basement room was just a few rows of concrete blocks, let’s expand it.  Wait, don’t bedrooms require walls, sheetrock, windows, closets, paint, furniture, and electricity?

That was also the year that the car companies all jumped on the 0% loan fad.   In case you don’t remember, that was the program that meant you could get a 0% loan on a new car if you picked up a 3 year term on your loan.  At 22, making maybe $45,000 combined, we decided that buying a $35,000 truck was a good idea.  To save money.   Rationalization is wonderful.  Or at least, effective.

That summer, we got married.   We did a phenomenal job getting married on the cheap.  We had about 100 guests, a  park to get married in, flowers, food,  and a hall to eat and dance in, for about $3000.   The problem was, we didn’t have $3000.   We didn’t have the $1500 + activities for our 10 day honeymoon on a Caribbean cruise, either, though I still plan on returning to St. Thomas.

None of those individual payments were terrible.  The biggest problem was that we piled them all so close together that we never had time to absorb their impact before taking on the next obligation.   When we did realize how much we had to pay, we made up for it by only buying big things that came with a “0% for a year” deal, like our living room set, our carpet, and our dining room table.

Then, when we finally did pay something off, or came into more money, we’d immediately expand our lifestyle to fill the void.  The month we paid off our truck, I got a significant raise.  Did we use it to pay off some other debt?  Of course not, we bought a new car on a six year term.

We had so many opportunities to make bad decisions with our money, and I think we took them all and have suffered for it, since.

If you’re in debt, what made you decide to get that way?

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Totally Money Carnival #5, the Superbowl Edition

Misc

Welcome to the Totally Money Carnival #5, the Superbowl Edition.  It’s my privilege to be the first outside host for this carnival.

I don’t watch the Superbowl. I’ve never been into spectator sports unless I have some skin in the game. If I’m playing, or have some money riding on the outcome, I’m watching. Other than that, I’ll usually pass. Yesterday, a bunch of grown men in tights earning envy-inducing amounts of money ran around for a few hours in front of people, some of whom paid 5 figures for the privilege of watching. Yay!

Editor’s Picks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpjaOUjUPUc

Mike Piper presents Protecting Your Private Files posted at Oblivious Investor, “How can you keep your sensitive documents (scanned tax returns, for instance) both backed up and protected in the event of computer theft?”  Ed.  I love this solution, and I use it.  All of my tax returns, online receipts, and documents I don’t want to lose get treated this way.

Suzanne K. presents The Psychology of Why You Can’t Budget—And Five Tips to Help You Do It posted at PsychologyDegree.net.  Ed.  I’ve always been a fan of trying to understand what makes people tick.

Silicon Valley Blogger presents Prepare Your Tax Return: Tax Products vs Tax Pros posted at The Digerati Life, saying “If you don’t enjoy preparing your taxes, you’re not alone. There are various ways to get your tax returns done. How do you go about preparing your taxes: DIY or with the help of a pro?” Ed.  Tax time sucks.  If we abolished payroll deductions and made everybody in the country write a check to the IRS every year, there would be a revolt on the next April 15th.

Kevin McKee presents How To Know if Your Job is Expendable posted at Thousandaire, saying “When businesses start doing poorly, some people are at risk of losing their job, while others are safe. Find out which category you fall in with these simple questions.”  Ed: I was given a demonstration that defines expendability in the workplace. Fill a glass with water and place it on the counter in front of you. Stick your finger in the glass. Now, pull it out. See the impression you’ve made? I’ve done the rockstar bit, and I’ve been in positions that were necessary for the profitability of larger divisions of large companies. It doesn’t matter. Corporate loyalty is a joke.

Budgeting

35% of people who attend the game write it off as a corporate expense. (source)

Miss T presents 5 Ways to Lower Your Monthly Bills | Prairie EcoThrifter.com posted at Prairie Eco-Thrifter, saying “Believe it or not, there are lots of ways to save money, no matter how much of it you have- or don’t have.”

Credit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRYLhkOV2so

Tim Chen presents Pentagon Federal Offers Best Gas & Airfare Credit Card Rewards, Period. posted at NerdWallet Blog – Credit Card Watch, saying “There is only one credit card in America that offers no strings attached 5% cash back at any gas stations (excluding the likes of Costco) – the Pentagon Federal Platinum CashBack. It also gets you 2% back at grocery stores.”

Miranda presents Accelerate Your Credit Card Debt Pay Down posted at CreditScore.net, saying “Use these techniques to pay down your credit card debt faster.”

Buck Inspire presents Moving Up and On From Prepaid Debit Cards posted at Buck Inspire.

Ryan Hudson presents How I Got a Credit Card Late Fee Waived posted at Best Credit Cards IQ, saying “Don’t take accidental late fees laying down. Do something about it. Here’s how I got rid of my late fee.”

Debt

No network footage exists of Super Bowl I. It was taped over, supposedly for a soap opera.(source)

John presents Get Out of Debt Fast – How to Speed Up the Process posted at Passive Family Income, saying “There are quite a few people today that are beginning to dig their way out of debt. They have monitored their spending, created a budget, and have done the best that they can to stick with it. But, as many of you have experienced, the excitement of becoming debt-free gets pretty old after a while.”

Finance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRDx18GYITw

Mike Collins presents Defined Benefit vs Defined Contribution posted at Saving Money Today, saying “Understanding the different types of retirement plans.”

Boomer presents 10 Ways For Women To Obtain Financial Empowerment posted at Boomer & Echo, “It’s not that difficult to get your financial life under control (your control). Remember, a man is not a financial plan.”

Frugality

The Super Bowl is measured in Roman numerals because a football season runs the span over two calendar years. This year the season began in 2010 and ends in 2011. (source)

Madison DuPaix presents Substitute, Improvise, and Make Do With What You Have posted at My Dollar Plan, saying “So often, when we run out of things we need, we run to buy something or spend money when we don’t have to. Find out how you can avoid this trap.”

Money Beagle presents The Power Of The Free Calendar posted at Money Beagle.

Amanda L Grossman presents Homemade Diversion Safes: Save Money by Making Your Own posted at Frugal Confessions – Frugal Living, saying “You can purchase your own home security money safes (diversion safes), but I thought it would be more frugal and fun to think of ones to make on your own. See what I can do with a used deodorant!”

Money Management

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQkK1UCH1EU

MoneyNing presents What Would You Do with a Million Dollars? posted at Money Ning, saying “I know what I would do with a million dollars. How about you?”

Other

More drivers are involved in alcohol-related accidents on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year (except St. Patrick’s Day), according to the Insurance Information Institute. (source)

Joe Morgan presents Is Gen Y Irresponsible, Or Is It A Matter Of Perspective? posted at Simple Debt-Free Finance, saying “Generation Y has a reputation for having a sense of entitlement, but here’s one reason it may just be a matter or perspective.”

Saving

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_78ylMLa0JQ

Ryan @ MFN presents Roth IRA Qualifications posted at The Military Wallet, saying “Are you qualified to open a Roth IRA? Find out income and contribution requirements to see if you are eligible!”

Brian @ BeBetterNow presents Money’s Golden Rule: Spend Less Than You Earn posted at Be Better Now, “In the end, most personal finance advice boils down to spending less than you earn. Here’s another article to reinforce that.”

Spending

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g364TG_8Qmw

Barb Friedberg presents Wealth in Life: 25 Cheap Ideas for Fun posted at Barbara Friedberg Personal Finance, “Join in to build a massive list of low cost fun!”

Taxes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0

PT presents Tax on Unemployment Compensation posted at PT Money, saying “A detailed look at what taxes are due on your unemployment compensation.”

Ken presents Important Tax Update for 2010 You Don’t Want To Miss posted at Spruce Up Your Finances, saying “A few of the tax provisions applicable to tax year 2010 such as the extension of tax filing date, expanded tax benefits, phase out on some limitations, etc.”

Fanny presents Top 10 Tax Deductions for Parents posted at Living Richly on a Budget, “Being a parent is one of the most important roles in life. Why not take advantage of all the deductions you qualify for?”

Thank you all for participating!  Next week’s host is Saving Money Today, so be sure to submit your posts.

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Make a Budget

Finance

DSC02103
Image by r.lovewell via Flickr

In the past, I’ve gone through a detailed series of budget lessons demonstrating how to make a budget and showing my personal budget spreadsheet template.  If you weren’t here to see them develop, you probably haven’t seen them at all.    I’ve never built an actual index for those posts.

This is the master index of my budget planning resources.  As I develop more, this will grow.

Budget Lesson #1 – In this lesson, I go over how we handle discretionary income and I explain our modified envelope system.   The discretionary budget contains things like our grocery bill, or the clothes we buy.  We have near-total discretion over what is purchased, hence the name.

Budget Lesson #2 – Lesson #2 contains the details of our monthly bills.  These are the ones that are consistent, predictable, and actually due each month.  Most people take these for granted as the bills they have to pay, but it’s not true.   You can get almost all of your regular bills reduced just by asking.   You would also be surprised what you can do without, when properly motivated.

Budget Lesson #3 – This is where I explain how we deal with the non-monthly bills.  That is, the bills that have to be paid, but are not due on a monthly basis.  I also share the personal budget spreadsheet template I developed.   I am working on a few sample templates to match various imaginary scenarios.  If you’d like to be an anonymous case study, and get free help setting up a budget, let me know, please.

Budget Lesson #4 – In this lesson, I describe our “set-aside” funds for things that will need to be paid eventually, but not on a set schedule.  Sometimes, they are never actually due.   We set aside money for the parties we throw, for car repairs and for a number of other things.  A few of these items are outright optional, but they are part of what makes life fun.  You can’t make a budget without including some of the extras.

Budget Lesson #5 – This is the companion piece to lesson 2.   Learn how I’ve reduced–or attempted to reduce–each of these bills.   For the better part of two years, I called Dish Network every few months to ask for a discount.  For almost 2 years, it was granted.  Then one, day, they told me they were putting a note on our account to keep us from getting any more discounts, so I canceled.   100% discounts help us save more.

Budget Lesson #6 – This is the reduction companion to lesson 3.  These bills are harder to reduce.  Have you ever successfully gotten your property taxes lowered?

Budget Lesson #7 – This is the reduction companion to lesson 4.  Notice a pattern, yet?

Budget Lesson #8 – Here, completely out of order, is the reduction companion to lesson 1.   Watch as I magically reduce–or rationalize–our discretionary budget.

So, dear readers, what part of budgeting should I address next?