Live Real, Now

The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

Search Results for: three-alternatives-to-a-budget/subscribe-by-email/budget-lesson-part-3/slow-carb-diet-how-to-avoid-going-bat-crazy/budget-lesson-part-5/budget4/budget-lesson-part-1/first-3-things-to-do-in-the-new-year/what-happens-when-you-save/budget-lesson-part-2

Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

3 Reasons You Hate Your Budget

Finance

Ice-cream dessert
Image via Wikipedia

One of the first steps in clearing up your financial mess is to set up a budget.    You need to figure out how much money you are making, how much you are spending, and what you can do to keep one of those numbers smaller than the other.   If your income is smaller than your expenses, you’ve got work to do.   If not, yay!

Even if you don’t obsessively cling to your spreadsheets and calculator, you need to spend the time to establish a budget–at least once–to know where you stand.  When you do, you’ll find out it sucks.  With good reason.

1.  It takes too long to set up. Setting up a budget can be a long, drawn-out pain in the butt.   Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be, but you won’t know that until after you make your first budget, then see some fairly drastic changes, and make a second budget.  That one will be easier.    For the first one, just concentrate on making a list of all of you regular bills and how often they are due.    Don’t be surprised when you miss some.   I missed a couple of our quarterly bills.  All told, it took a year to get our budget completely done.

2. It doesn’t lie. Once you have all of your expenses down on paper, you are done hiding.  You can’t tell yourself it’s all puppy dogs and ice cream when you are staring at the giant red pit that is the negative balance of your bad decisions.  Nobody likes the messenger who brings bad news.  When your budget shows you how big the hole is, you are going to hate it.   That’s when it’s time to confront the problem head on and get out of the hole.   Find the problems and rip ’em out.    Cancel the cable, taxidermize the cats, and start buying generic underpants.   It’s time to take an honest look at your situation.  If you can’t handle where you are, how are you going to get where you want to be?

3.  It’s not fun. When your friends go out, but you stay home because you’re broke, you will hate it.    Y’ou’re also gonna hate comparing your old cell phone to the iPhone in the hands of the d-bag contemplating bankruptcy.   Like Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else, so that later you can live like no one else.”   Skipping some of the fun now will turn into security later.  When you get to that point, it will have all been worth it.

Why do you hate your budget?

Money Problems – Day 4: Making a Budget

Finance

Fiscal Year 2010 Budget Briefing (200905070001HQ)
Image by nasa hq photo via Flickr

Today, I continuing the  series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances.   The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances.  It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear.  Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days.  That’s not my schedule.  Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us.   Instead, it will run roughly once a week.  To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

This is day 4 and today, you are going to make a budget.

Now that you’ve got your list of expenses and you’ve figured out your income, it’s time to put them together and do the dreaded deed.  Your going to make a budget today.  Don’t be scared.  I’ll hold your hand.

Here are the tools you need:

  1. Your list of expenses from Day Two.
  2. Your list of income from Day Three.
  3. A spreadsheet.  I recommend the spreadsheet included in Google Docs, but Excel or the Open Office alternative, CALC, are acceptable substitutes.

Setting up the spreadsheet is dead simple.

Create a column for the label, telling you what each line item is.  Create a column to hold the monthly payment amount.   At the bottom of column 2, create a formula that totals your expenses.   If you are including a bill that isn’t due monthly, use a formula similar to the day 3 income formula to figure out what you need to set aside each month.  To figure a quarterly bill, multiply the amount by 4, then divide by 12.  To figure a weekly bill, multiply by 52 and divide by 12.

Scoot over a few columns and do the same thing for your income.

Scoot over a couple more columns and set up a total.  This is easy.  It’s just a matter of subtracting your expenses from you income.  Hopefully, this gives you a positive number.

To make this even easier, I’ve shared a blank budget spreadsheet.  No excuses.  If that simple spreadsheet doesn’t meet your needs, I’ve got a much more detailed version that includes categories.   I use the detailed version.

Making a budget may be the most intimidating financial step you take, but everything else is built on the assumption that you understand where you money came from and where it is going.  Without,it, your navigating a major maze based on a coin flip instead of a map.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Festival of Frugality #278: The Pure Peer Pressure Edition

Misc

Peer Pressure
Peer Pressure

Welcome to the Festival of Frugality #278: The Pure Peer Pressure Edition.    If everyone else was jumping off of a cliff, would you do it, too?  Maybe not, but what happens if you surround yourself with people who hold the same values as you and are striving for personal growth in the same way?  Peer pressure doesn’t have to be negative.

“Peer pressure is not a monolithic force that presses adolescents into the same mold. . . . Adolescents generally choose friend whose values, attitudes, tastes, and families are similar to their own. In short, good kids rarely go bad because of their friends.” – Laurence Steinberg

Shameless plug:  If you like what you see, please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS or follow us on Twitter.   All your friends are doing it.

Editor’s Picks:

Dinks Finance shows us a few ways to negotiate your mortgage fees.   Take a few minutes to read this post before you get a mortgage.

Money Ning reminds us that everyone needs a crappy job early in their working life.

Personal Finance by the Book is leading the fight against the 100,000 mile mindset.

Free Money Finance shows several ways to have fun dates on the cheap.   My secret is to make it look “creative” and “unique”  instead of “cheap”.  You don’t have to cave to the pressure of “expensive” to have a good time.

“Most literature on the culture of adolescence focuses on peer pressure as a negative force. Warnings about the “wrong crowd” read like tornado alerts in parent manuals. . . . It is a relative term that means different things in different places. In Fort Wayne, for example, the wrong crowd meant hanging out with liberal Democrats. In Connecticut, it meant kids who weren’t planning to get a Ph.D. from Yale.” – Mary Kay Blakely

The Best of the Rest:

Budgeting in the Fun Stuff talks about my favorite tax-funded institution: the Library.   I’ve easily save thousands of dollars since I started using the library consistently.

Babies are undeniably expensive.   Squirrelers provides some tips on limiting the early expenses.

“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.”  – Author Unknown

Wealth Pilgrim shows how his daughter discover the secret to saving 80% on college costs.  The trick isn’t just going to a state school, but what you do when you get there.

ptMoney shares some copy-cat recipe sites.   I love making copy-cat meals with better quality ingredients for half the price.

“Every society honors its live conformists, and its dead troublemakers.”  – Mignon McLaughlin

Magical Penny recommends tracking your net worth.   Mint makes that easy to do.

Smart Wallet talks about going cash-only and the benefits of credit cards.  I am currently cash-only, but plan to transition to a good rewards card when all of the debt is gone.

Simple Life in France discusses radical simplicity and frugality in relationships.

“There’s one advantage to being 102. There’s no peer pressure.” – Dennis Wolfberg

I’m a bit of a foodie and more than a bit cheap, so when Not Made of Money talks about creative uses for some we stock up on, I’m listening.

Wanderlust Journey explains the Carnival Cruise loyalty program.  I’ve been on exactly one cruise and enjoyed it quite a bit.  It’s not the best method of travel for all possible destinations, but I can’t think of a better way to spend a couple of weeks in the Caribbean.

Beating Broke just saved a ton of money by switching to…wait, wrong venue.    Read how they saved money on a remodel.  Don’t be afraid to use your social capital–the skills of the people who care about you.

“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.”  – Anatole France

If you’ve got kids who are planning to play an instrument, you’ll want to pay attention to Budgets are Sexy‘s ideas on saving money on musical instruments.

Free From Broke talks about the hidden costs of home ownership.   A home is a never-ending money sink.

“Peer pressure has many redeeming qualities. It is the pressure of our peers, after all, that gives us the support to try things we otherwise wouldn’t have.” – Bill Treasurer

Suburban Dollar explains Swagbucks.

Money Help for Christians shares some tips to save money.  I particularly enjoyed the coupon walk-through link.

Provident Planning talks about someone living happily on $7000 per year.  I can’t imagine making it on that.

A “Normal” person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee.  You know, “Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray.”   – Alan Sherman

Final plug:  If you enjoyed yourself, don’t forget to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS or follow us on Twitter.   All your friends are doing it.   The coolest ones are even fans of LRN on Facebook.

Toxic People

Business, Life

You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.

-Duncan Idaho, from God-Emperor of Dune

Some people suck the life out of everyone they encounter.   Whether it be through lies, unreasonable demands, emotional abuse or manipulation, or just a vile personalty, the people they meet are worse off for the encounter.   The people they interact with every day are screwed.

My time is too precious to waste any of it unnecessarily on people who remove value from it.   I like being with people who enrich my life, instead.

Unfortunately, since I’m not an advocate for the use of hitmen, not every toxic person is easy to eliminate from your life.

Toxic people come in 3 basic varieties:  professional, personal, and family.   There is some overlap between the categories.

The personal category is easiest to deal with.  These people aren’t relatives or coworkers, so you won’t see them at family gatherings or at work.     I’ve dealt with these people in two ways.

First, there is the direct approach.  One former friend, who was really only a friend when it was convenient for him(a pure leech), got told that he wasn’t invited to one of our parties because I was inviting his ex-wife, instead.    That was the last time he called me.

The second option is far more passive.   I set up a contact group in my phone called “Life’s too short”.   At first, I set it up with a fairly insulting ring tone, but I later switched it to no ring at all.   I don’t know they’ve called until I check my voicemail.   It’s far less direct, but also far easier than the direct approach.

Dealing with the toxic people in your family is more complicated.   You’ll see them at holiday gatherings, or hear about them during unrelated visits.   You probably have a lot of memories growing up with them, and may feel some level of obligation–deserved or not–to maintain contact.   It’s hard to break a tie that you’ve had your entire life.

Can you fix their behavior?  It’s worth trying to have a frank discussion about how they are treating you, or the things they are doing.    If the problem is that they are constantly bringing over their methhead boyfriends, banning the drug addicts from your home, while still welcoming the relative may be an acceptable fix.  If the problem is a constant need to belittle you, demanding they stop may work.   If the problem is a lifetime of emotional abuse, it probably isn’t fixable.

Is banishment an option?   Can you put that creepy cousin on the Life’s Too Short list?  You’ll still have to deal with him at family gatherings, but you can always leave the room when he comes in, right?   Don’t engage, don’t participate in any conversation beyond a polite greeting, and don’t offer any encouragement towards regular contact.

It’s possible that it won’t be possible to fix their behavior and that you won’t want to banish the offender.   If, for example, the offender is your mother (Not you, Mom!), you may feel a sense of obligation to maintain contact, or even be a primary caregiver at times.     This is a line nobody else can draw for you.   At some point, the current bad behavior could overwhelm the past obligations.   When that happens are you prepared for it?  That can be a traumatic break.

The other option, as cold as it sounds, is to wait it out.  Nature will take its course, eventually.   Can you wait that long, while maintaining your sanity and emotional equilibrium?

Professional toxic people include customers, vendors, and coworkers, none of whom are easy to get rid of.

If you own the business, you can fire your problem customers if the hassle outweighs the benefits you get from the relationship.   You can find a new vendor, and you can fire the problem employees.

What happens if you are an employee?

If the problem is your boss, your options are to suck it up, talk to his boss, or find a new job.   If the first is intolerable, and the second is impossible, it’s time to polish your resume.

If the problem is a vendor, you’ve got some options.   Document the problems, first.  Does he make inappropriate jokes, or badmouth you to your customers?  Then, research the alternatives.   Does one of his competitors offer an equivalent product or service?  Take the documentation and research to your boss, or whoever makes that decision, and see if you can get your company to make the switch.  The other option, is to request someone new to deal with at the vendor’s company, but that may not always be possible.

Finally, we come to the problem of toxic coworkers.

Some coworkers have the same problems as a toxic boss.  Is the company vice-president the boss’s baby brother?   You’re probably not going to find a win there.   You’ll have to suck it up or move on.

Is the problem person working in an unrelated department doing unrelated tasks?   It may be possible to start taking breaks at different times and leave him where he belongs: in the past.

Is the difficult individual sharing an office with you, demanding everything be done his way, and throwing daily tantrums?   This is the one that has to be dealt with.  He’s the one sucking the life out of you every single day.

First, start making use of a voice recorder.  If you’ve got a smartphone, you’ve probably already got one.  Otherwise, drop the $20 to buy one.   This lets you document the evil.   When his behavior goes hinky, record it.

Second, stand up for yourself.  If he’s making unreasonable demands, tell him it’s inappropriate.   He’s a bully, and bullies tend to back down when they are confronted.

Third, make sure the boss knows about the behavior.  Yes, this is tattling.  Get over it.  If he wasn’t acting like he was a spoiled 4 year old, you wouldn’t have to tell the boss that he was.   If the boss doesn’t know there’s a problem, he can’t deal with it.

Fourth, for any problem that isn’t directly aimed at you, ignore it.   If he makes a habit of throwing a tantrum because somebody emptied the coffee pot, or because the company switched health plans, let him.   Only get in the way if it’s directed at you.  Over time, the tantrums will get more noticeable and out of hand, forcing the boss to deal with it, preferably by handing him a pink slip.

Your goal is documentation, awareness, and avoidance.  Make the worst of it go elsewhere so you can be as productive as possible, document what you can, and let the boss become aware of the situation and how bad it has become.   And be patient. This isn’t an overnight fix.

How do you deal with the toxic people in your life?