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Happy Father’s Day: The Benefits of Being a Parent Can’t Be Measured

It’s true that the benefits of a parent cannot be measured or quantified in any meaningful way. It’s hard to put a price on the emotional commitment and special experience of raising a child as a parent, some of which may not even be realized by the parents themselves until afterwards. But it is undeniable that the experience of parenthood is a rewarding and special time in someone’s life.

An icon illustrating a parent and child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For one thing, being a parent can you relive your childhood through your child. There are very few experiences in the world that are as intimate and vicarious as a parent who is raising their newborn child into an adult. Your child’s experiences become your experiences, their safety and learning becomes your priorities, and their success, ultimately, become your own success as a parent. You can rediscover the parts of your childhood that you may even have forgot as your child experiences them for the first time.

As a parent, you are also the center of the world for your child. This can be a tremendous source of self-confidence as well as incentive for self-improvement, to know that another human being sees you as their ultimate role model and will grow up in your footsteps. Just imagine the sense of wonder and awe with which you regarded your own parents when you were a child, and apply them to your child. That is the way they will see the world for a long time, with a constant sense of amazement and curiosity. The mundane becomes extraordinary and fantastic to a child, and a parent is part of the magic and the child’s discovery of the world.

In addition, parenting is a rewarding experience because you involved in the creation of a life and the raising of your child with your partner. There is a great amount of pressure, but also a sense of pride as your child’s characteristics and worldview will, in a large part, be derived from your interaction and education of them. All the things that you wish you had done in your childhood, or wish you had experienced or learned about earlier. These are all things that you can teach your child. As a parent, you are your child’s most important friend, teacher and role model. That is a tremendous source of empowerment and responsibility. But the reward you can get out of being a great parent is a new life in the world that you shaped with your words and actions. What you teach them becomes their most important life lessons, and your actions as a role model becomes the standard by which they live the rest of their lives.

So yes, the benefits of being a parent cannot be measured in conventional terms. But these benefits can definitely outweigh any worldly possession or unit of valuation. Parenthood is an emotional, spiritual, intellectual and educational experience that very few other experiences in the world can replace or even come close to imitating.

The Happy Butt

Life

Do you find the cloud in every silver lining? Is the glass not only half empty, but evaporating? Do you start every day thinking

Smiley head happy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

about how the effects of entropy on the universe make everything you do ultimately pointless?

You may be a pessimist.

Pessimism gets a bad rap. Without pessimists, we wouldn’t have insurance plans, missile defense systems, or Eeyore, and what would the world be without those things?

The thing you have to ask yourself is “Does the negativity make you happy?”

The next thing you have to ask yourself is whether or not you were lying with your previous answer.

If you have a negative outlook on everything, I have good news for you: it’s possible to defeat it. No matter how long you’ve been looking at the world through coffin-colored glasses, no matter how ingrained your negative slant is, it’s possible to change it.

You have to want to change it, because, as the saying goes, old habits die hard. Yippee kai yay.

You need a happy butt.

Little known fact: language shapes the way you think. If your language has no words for a concept, you will have a difficult time thinking about that concept, or even understanding it. Statistically, Asians are better at math than their western-world counterparts. Why? It’s not genetic. When a family moves to the US, the edge is lost within 2 generations. It’s not the amount of school they get. Even in backwaters with limited school access demonstrate the same abilities.

It’s the language. Euro-based languages are horrible. They are a clumsy mish-mash of crap from around the world, and the numbering system makes no sense. 11, 12, 13, huh? Spoken, that’s not a progression, it’s something we have to learn by rote. Why is 13 pronounce “thirteen”, with the ones place first, but 23 is pronounced with the tens place first, the way it is written? Where did the word “twenty” even come from? It’s obviously a horrible bastardization of “two” and “ten”, but is it self-evident? Does the progression through the decades follow some kind of rule? Twenty, thirty, forty, fifty. Nope.

The Asian languages (most of them) differ. The numeric progression is spoken in a rules-based progression that makes sense. 23 is literally “two tens three”, making learning math less about rote memorization and more about masters some simple rules.

In the western world, we are handicapped by our language, at least when it comes to math.

The rest of our thoughts are formed by language, too. Learn a language with different roots than the one your were born with and see how your perceptions change.

One of the signs of negative thinking is qualifying everything you say negatively. For example, one person might say “It’s a beautiful day, today” while Mr. Negativebritches would say “It’s a beautiful day, but it’s probably going to rain.” That’s a sad butt, err, but. Every time you qualify a sentence with a sad butt, you are reinforcing your negative view of the world.

The solution? Drop your drawers and paint on a smiley face. You need a happy but(t). You can rephrase the sentence into a happy thought without changing the sentiment or meaning in any way. Try this: “It’s probably going to rain, but it’s a beautiful day, now.” That’s a happy butt, and it reinforces the positive in your mind.

It sounds stupid, but it works. Your language shapes your life. Put a positive spin on what you say, and you will eventually start to think about life in a positive way.

Give it a shot. For the next week, every time you say something negative, qualify it with a happy butt. At the end of the week, come back here and tell me how it’s working and if you can sense a change in your mindset.

Multiracial Skinhead Love Triangle

Finance, Life

“Honey, here on national television, in front of a live studio audience, I’ve got a secret I’d like to share. You’re not our child’s mother. I’ve been sleeping with the milkman. And the goat. Your mom is the star of my new adult website. With the goat. And the milkman. I’ve got three other families, in three other cities. I lost the house to my gambling addiction. Those sores? Herpesyphiligonoritis. I got it from the foreign exchange student we hosted before I moved her to Dubuque and married her. The goat gave her away. The milkman cried. Oh, and I wore your panties to the Illinois Nazi reunion. I know how much you hate Illinois Nazis. But I still love you. And your sister. Especially your sister. She does that thing with her tongue….”

Why would anyone go on national television to share things like that?

More interesting: why would anybody stay on stage after hearing that?

Stay tuned.

I have this friend. He bought a couple of cars. He’s got some issues with money, partially revolving around a need to keep his assets below a certain threshold. So he put the cars in his girlfriend’s name. I know, it’s slightly crooked, but that makes the story more fun.

They broke up.

Recently, she called him to say she was suing him for the cars. She wanted them. She wanted to hurt him. She was mean. Somehow that turned into them agreeing to settle the case on Judge Joe Brown, on national television.

My friend spoke with the show’s producer, then last week, he was flown to California and put up in a hotel for a couple of days. When he arrived at the TV studio, he was informed that it wasn’t Judge Joe Brown, but a new show that will start airing in the fall called, The Test. According to CBS, The Test “is a one-hour conflict resolution talk show that will use lie detector and DNA tests to settle relationship and paternity disputes among the guests.” Coincidentally, CBS also owns Judge Joe Brown.

My friend got on stage with Dr. Phil’s son, Jay McGraw, and was accused of cheating on his girlfriend and stealing her identity. Lie detectors. Yelling. Accusations.

Why did he stay?

He wasn’t given his return plane ticket until they were done filming.

When he was done, they handed him a voucher for cab fare and the itinerary for his return flight. Until then, he had no other way to get home.

That’s why people stay on stage. It’s probably also why none of those shows ever have people with money of their own; they can find their own way home in a pinch.

Interesting side note: The show paid $200 and booked the cheapest possible return flight, with a 6 hour layover.

Decluttering the House – April 30 Day Project Update

Life

My 30 Day Project for April is to declutter my entire house. That’s every room, every dresser, every drawer. We’ve got 12 years of jointly accumulated clutter.

Our progress so far has been wonderful. The main level of our house is almost done.

In our daughters’ room, we put in bunk beds and pulled out a dresser. With the crib, changing table, and toddler bed removed, they actually have room to play on the floor. Their closet has been emptied and repurposed as scrapbooking and blanket storage. Cost: $140 for the bunk beds.

Our son’s room has had a dresser, a desk, and a bed replaced with a loft bed. Even with the 6 foot tall monstrosity of a bed, his room looks so much bigger. We still have to clean out his closet, which is mostly artifacts of a business we no longer have, leftovers from when his bedroom was our office. Cost: $260 for the loft bed.

Our room was depressing. Never dirty, but oh-so-full. The closet was jam-packed. The top shelf was full of towels and sheets. The closet rod couldn’t fit another shirt. There was a modular shelving system on the floor of the closet–full. We had three full dressers. The headboard has 5 foot tall cabinets, half of which were full of makeup and jewelry, the other half with books. Now, there is 1 empty dresser. It belonged to my great-grandmother, so it’s going to the shop to be refinished, instead of the garage sale to be sold. Another dresser has spare room in it. There’s no need to rearrange the cabinets to get to anything. The closet is less than half full and there is almost nothing on the floor of the closet. Gear for my side-line business is stored out of sight and out of the way. This is so much more relaxing.

We’ve tackled the kitchen, except for 1 cabinet, which is mostly cookbooks and booze. That will be fun to clean out.

Our front closet was worthless. It was so full we put hooks on the outside of the door to hang our coats. We pulled out a dozen coats we never wear. At least 20 pairs of shoes, some belonging to roommates gone 1o years. We can actually use the closet now. The shoes and boots all have homes. Our coats all fit…inside.

We have 1 closet and 1 cabinet left to address on the main level. There are also 3 small rooms in the basement that need to be gutted–the laundry room, the family room, and a room that has been designated for storage and the litter box. The last one will be the hardest. It’s full of remnants of hobbies past and failed ventures. I’m expecting some fights, flowing every possible direction.

In the process, we’ve filled our dining room with stuff for our garage sale…twice. It’s all getting priced and boxed as we go through it. We thrown away anything we won’t be able to sell. We’ve done all of this with the mutual understanding that nothing is coming back in the house. After the sale, it will be donated or sold on Craigslist, but it won’t become a part of our lives again. We are successfully purging so much. The “skinny clothes” are gone. When the time comes, they’ll be replaced. In the meantime, they can be put to better use on someone else. Hobbies that never took, games that are never played, it’s all going. We are getting down to the things that are actually used and useful.

It’s interesting to note that the process is getting easier as the month goes by. My Mother-in-Law is a hoarder. Those habits get passed down, but what was originally a source of stress has turned into a pleasant chore.

The most wonderful discovery of all? It turns out we don’t need a better storage system, we just need less stuff.

Update: This post has been included in the Money Hacks Carnival.

How I Make Money Blogging

Business

A few days ago, my friend Crystal of Budgeting in the Fun Stuff released her ebook, How I Make Money Blogging.

This is the guide for starting a profitable blog. If you’re new to the blogging world, or just non-technical, Crystal takes you by the hand and shows you how to launch and promote your new blog.

From there–and this is the part that makes the earth shake–she peels open the curtains on her dealings with advertisers. She explains the different ad types and the metrics that advertisers use to evaluate sites.

Then–this will make you want to wander outside for a cigarette after–she tells you what to charge for the ads.

That’s huge. That page alone is worth the price of admission. It took me more than a year to develop my ad rates, and she’s handing it out with her book. On this topic above all others, Crystal is the expert. She is making a living managing advertiser relations for hundreds of bloggers. There is literally no one with a broader experience in advertiser/blogger negotiations.

I know I sound like I’m gushing, but I wish I would have had this book when I got started. Unfortunately, Crystal had the gall to wait until she was successful before writing a guide about how to copy her. Since this site predates hers by 3 months, I was out of luck.

If you are thinking about blogging, pick this up, just for the how-to guides.

If you are already blogging, get this and learn how to streamline and secure your blog.

If you’re already rocking the world, but need some help turning a profit, this is still the way to go.

If you don’t get it, you’re missing out. If you wait until too long, the price will go up.

Mariano Rivera: Rags to MLB Riches

Celebrities

English: New York Yankees Pitcher Mariano Rive... — English: New York Yankees Pitcher Mariano Rivera on May 25th, 2008 vs. Seattle Mariners. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mariano Rivera is the most dominant closer in the history of baseball. His cut fastball, or cutter, is considered by many to be the best pitch in the history of the game. He is the all-time saves leader, and he has five World Series rings that he can wear. Of course, he has made millions of dollars over his professional career, which has brought him a long way from his humble roots as the son of a Panamanian fisherman.

Rivera’s journey began in Panama City. He was born on November 29, 1969. His father was a fisherman in the small fishing village of Puerto Caimito. Like almost every boy in Latin America, his earliest athletic experiences were playing soccer. However, he also played baseball as well. The area was so poor that not many people actually owned baseball gloves, bats or balls.

Instead, Rivera and his friends would play games with tree branches for bats. They used milk cartons instead of gloves, and they taped together pieces of old fishing nets to use as balls. Rivera didn’t have his first real leather baseball glove until his dad bought him one at the age of 12.

Rivera liked baseball, but he never thought he would one day make a living at it. Instead, he dreamed of playing soccer professionally like most Latinos. However, he suffered a series of ankle injuries during high school that shattered this dream. He finished school at age 16 and began working on his father’s fishing boat. He had to abandon ship when the boat capsized, and that scared him away from fishing forever.

Soon after that, Rivera started playing on a local amateur baseball team, Panama Oeste. He was the team’s shortstop, and he only started pitching because the team’s normal pitcher was in a slump. His teammates were so impressed with his pitching skills that they convinced the Panama scout for the New York Yankees to give him a tryout. Rivera went to Panama City for a Yankees tryout camp, and the Yankees signed the man who would become one of the greatest players of all-time to a contract worth just $3,000.

When Rivera came to the United States, he did not speak English and was incredibly homesick. Puerto Caimito did not have telephone service at that time, which meant Rivera could only communicate to his family back home by writing long letters.

Rivera made steady progress through the minor leagues, but it was still five years before he was called up to the big leagues. His first few years in the major leagues, Rivera made the minimum salary of $750,000. This is a small figure by American standards, but it is more money than most people in Panama can dream of.

Rivera still goes back to Panama every year. He feels it is a home and that he is a part of it. His riches have never transformed him into a diva. He is one of the most down-to-earth and genuinely friendly players in the game.

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