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Why do you need a trailer?

As I mentioned before, we recently bought a Chevy Tahoe.   When we bought it, we had a Ford F150 and a Dodge Caliber that we could have traded in, but decided to sell on our own, instead.

About a month ago, we sold the truck.   If you’ve never owned a truck, you probably don’t realize how handy they are to have.   From hauling brush to moving furniture to donating large amount of crap to Goodwill, we used our truck.

We’ve also been on a mission to replace all of our old crappy stuff with nicer things, without spending a ton to make that happen.  We’ve been selling stuff on Craigslist, then taking that money to buy other stuff we’re finding good deals on.

We found a 4×8 utility trailer for $300.   It came home with us.   The first thing I heard was “Why do you need a trailer?”

Now, we could have made do with delivery fees or rental trucks, but that seemed silly to me.

  • We recently replaced our living room couches.   One of our cats had mistaken one of them for a litter box.   No amount of enzyme cleaner gets that smell out of a couch cushion.   Shortly after that, my fat a** popped two of the springs out of the bottom.    Bad couch.    We found a good deal on brand new replacements, but the delivery fee would have been $80.
  • My wife found a beautiful entertainment center last week that matched the corner entertainment center we already have.  We don’t need another entertainment center, but after convincing the seller to sell us the side units without the center unit, we have glass-doored bookshelves that exactly match the largest piece of furniture we own.   Without the trailer, we would have had to rent a truck to get them home.
  • Tomorrow, we’ll be taking the last load of stuff out of my mother-in-law’s house.   Without the trailer, that would be several trips in the car.

We’ve had the thing for 3 weeks and it has almost paid for itself in time and money.   I think that makes for a good investment.  I don’t expect to buy a new living room set every month, but it’s nice to be able to deal with large things when the need arises.

Multiracial Skinhead Love Triangle

English: A goat
English: A goat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Honey, here on national television, in front of a live studio audience, I’ve got a secret I’d like to share.   You’re not our child’s mother.  I’ve been sleeping with the milkman.  And the goat.  Your mom is the star of my new adult website.  With the goat.  And the milkman.  I’ve got three other families, in three other cities.  I lost the house to my gambling addiction.   Those sores?  Herpesyphiligonoritis.  I got it from the foreign exchange student we hosted before I moved her to Dubuque and married her.  The goat gave her away.  The milkman cried.   Oh, and I wore your panties to the Illinois Nazi reunion.   I know how much you hate Illinois Nazis.  But I still love you.  And your sister.  Especially your sister.  She does that thing with her tongue….”

Why would anyone go on national television to share things like that?

More interesting: why would anybody stay on stage after hearing that?

Stay tuned.

I have this friend.  He bought a couple of cars.  He’s got some issues with money, partially revolving around a need to keep his assets below a certain threshold.   So he put the cars in his girlfriend’s name.  I know, it’s slightly crooked, but that makes the story more fun.

They broke up.

Recently, she called him to say she was suing him for the cars.  She wanted them.  She wanted to hurt him.  She was mean.   Somehow that turned into them agreeing to settle the case on Judge Joe Brown, on national television.

My friend spoke with the show’s producer, then last week, he was flown to California and put up in a hotel for a couple of days.   When he arrived at the TV studio, he was informed that it wasn’t Judge Joe Brown, but a new show that will start airing in the fall called, The Test.   According to CBS, The Test “is a one-hour conflict resolution talk show that will use lie detector and DNA tests to settle relationship and paternity disputes among the guests.”   Coincidentally, CBS also owns Judge Joe Brown.

My friend got on stage with Dr. Phil’s son, Jay McGraw, and was accused of cheating on his girlfriend and stealing her identity.   Lie detectors.  Yelling.  Accusations.

Why did he stay?

He wasn’t given his return plane ticket until they were done filming.

When he was done, they handed him a voucher for cab fare and the itinerary for his return flight.  Until then, he had no other way to get home.

That’s why people stay on stage.  It’s probably also why none of those shows ever have people with money of their own; they can find their own way home in a pinch.

Interesting side note:  The show paid $200  and booked the cheapest possible return flight, with a 6 hour layover.

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The Secret to Fearless Change

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

You never will get where you’re going
If you never get up on your feet
Come on, there’s a good tail wind blowing
A fast walking man is hard to beat

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don’t be the rule be the exception
A good way to start is to stand

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn
You mean that it’s just my election
To vote for a chance to be reborn

Side Hustle: The Garage Sale Marketing

By popular demand, here is our garage sale marketing copy.

First, the newspaper ad, which ran in the Sunday edition through Tuesday before the sale:

MOTHER OF ALL GARAGE SALES! 5/13 to 5/15, 8-5!
1000s of items! Furn, crib, electronics, dishes,
cloz from baby to adult fashion!
Lots more!

Next, our Craigslist ad:

Huge sale!
Decades of accumulated stuff from four households!

Thousands of items! Yes, thousands!

We’ve got hundreds of outfits for fashion-conscious women and dozens of candles and candle-holders from Partylite!

Our babies keep growing and outgrowing their stuff. Lots of clothes, a changing table, a convertible drop-side crib, a tall dresser, and many, many, MANY toys!

We’ve got clothes in a variety of sizes: newborn through preschool, boy’s clothes from kindergarten through almost junior high school, adult clothes for both men and women.

There’s a china cabinet/hutch, a curio cabinet, 3 computer desks, a butcher-block kitchen table, a toddler bed and more! The bed and the crib even come with the mattresses, which we kept wrapped in a protective sheet the entire time they were used!

Antiques, toys from our childhood, hundreds of books and movies and much, much more!

Extra computer equipment for the true geek in your life! Boxes of RAM and video cards, a small LCD monitor that’s perfect for putting a computer in your car. I upgrade and replace my computers often. Here’s your chance to upgrade for just a couple of dollars.

Shoes! Holy cow, do we have shoes! New in the box, never been worn, selling for a buck! You can’t beat that price!

Jackets galore! There are a couple of dozen jackets ready to go. Spring and winter, sizes for all ages, including snow suits for babies and toddlers. We’ve got hats and gloves. Don’t miss this opportunity to outfit your kids and grandkids for the upcoming winter. It’s never too early!

We’re even getting rid of some tools and gear for the garage. There’s a 12-volt refrigerator/food-warmer. That’s a fridge for your car or camper! Also a variety of tools and a snowblower. You don’t want to miss this!

Last, but certainly not least:
A 1986 Honda Shadow VT700.
11,000 miles and two owners.
This is in excellent condition. It’s got almost no rust, just a few spots on the exhaust. It starts with no effort every spring. New tires, brakes, and a carb rebuild just a couple of seasons ago. New leather on the seats last fall. It’s a beauty.
Only $2750.

Thursday, May 13th through Saturday, May 15th. 8AM to 5PM

Address redacted.

Note: The entire series is contained in the Garage Sale Manual on the sidebar.

The Things That Bring You Here

Google Appliance as shown at RSA Expo 2008 in ...
Image via Wikipedia

I’ve been walking though my analytics data.  That is the Big Brother software I use to know everything about each one of my dear readers.  It’s all part of my master plan to rule the world.  Muwahaha!

Some of the results are interesting.

The single most-used search term to find this site is “slow carb diet“, which is great, because I really enjoyed writing that post.   I’ve been slacking on the diet lately, but I’m still down more than 30 pounds.   I’m currently ranked #3 in Google for this term. If I move up 2 more spots, I’ll outrank Tim Ferriss for his own product.   If I aggregated all of the “slow carb” variations, this post probably accounts for more than half of my traffic from Google.

Many of you come here by searching for “how to have a perfect life“.   I’ll do everything I can to help you achieve that, but it’s going to take work on your part.  There are no shortcuts.

Beat the Check” is another popular search term, but a very bad game to play.  It’s almost impossible to win it, since the Check 21 Act of 2004.

It’s interesting that “trained husband” brings a few of you each month.  My question: are you shopping, or exploring a new fetish?  Don’t be shy.

I’m a bit amazed that “zombie wheels” is something people actually search for, but 140 people hit Google looking for that term every month, and a few of them make it over here.

How to stretch a meal“, “things you should buy online“, and “unsecured loan advice” are some of the top personal finance terms bringing you all in, though “how to make a bunker” and its variation are popular, too.

Hoe can you force your wife” is a bit disturbing.  Most of the results are naturally for sex.  I can’t help but hope that I’ve either really disappointed this visitor, or convinced him that force is a bad idea.

How much did a pound of gold weigh in 1854?” is a search that makes me giggle.  To the best of my knowledge, the troy scale has been used to weigh gold for a lot longer than that.

That was a fun little stroll through my statistics.   Hopefully the fact that I used “fetish” and “sex” in a post will draw more crazy search terms.

How did you find me?  Inquiring minds want to know, so please tell me in the comments.

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