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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Saving Money: The Warranty Fund

Finance

Home theater projection screen displaying a hi... — Image via Wikipedia

Last weekend, my DVD player died.

No big deal, right? We watch a lot of movies. We get a lot of enjoyment out of watching a lot of movies. Movies are fun for us. We’ve got a projector and a movie screen in our living room. Movies are our biggest pastime. Naturally, losing the movie machine hurts.

The thing that hurts the most is that this hasn’t been a good month for us, financially. My wife gets paid hourly, with semi-monthly paychecks. This means that, in a short month(like February!), her second paycheck is small by a few hundred dollars. When her company switched to that nonsensical plan, I watched for a few months, then set our budget to match the smallest paycheck she received. They haven’t been using this ridiculous plan for a full year, yet.

February caught me by surprise.

I know, it shouldn’t have. According to my research, there has been a February in every single year since well before I was born. I should have been expecting it. Oops.

So, to recap: our favorite pastime was dead and money was a little bit tight. There was no money to shake out of the budget to cover a new DVD player and there was no way we’d hit our emergency fund for something as frivolous—if enjoyable—as movies.

What to do?

About a year ago, I decided to start a warranty fund. There are things we can’t easily afford to replace, so we pay for warranties on some of them. For example, our cell phones have a repair plan, and that plan has saved us more than it has cost us. We have a repair plan for some of our appliances, and that, too, has saved more than it has cost us. My goal was to self-warranty my stuff. I wanted an account that had money that served no purpoase but to help me avoid paying for warranties.

I set up another ING Direct savings account and scheduled an automatic deposit. It’s only set to deposit $25 per month, but over a year, it was enough to replace our home theater system, with some left over. It is, quite simply, money to use when our stuff breaks.

With no warning, and no time to prepare, we still had enough money socked aside to handle one of life’s little surprises, without wrecking our plans.

How do you prepare to replace the things that are going to break?

Handling a Windfall

Finance

What would you do if you were handed $10,000 tomorrow? $20,000?

The easy default answer–if you spend time in the personal finance world–is to pay off debt and save the rest.

But is that the right answer?

When my mother-in-law died, we inherited a little bit of money, a house that hasn’t been updated since the 60s, and a new-ish car that still has an active loan.

We also have about $16,000 in credit card debt and a small mortgage.

The Dave Ramsey answer would be to pay off the card at all costs and worry about the inherited house later, but that seems off. If we modernize the house and fix the things that are broken, we have a mortgage-free rental property. Our local rental market is strong; we should be able to clear $800 per month after expenses.

Is the right answer to pay off our card and scrape to get the house ready or should we fix up the house and use that new income to pay off the card?

My wife has also inherited an IRA that–due to its status as a Beneficiary IRA and the fact that there have been disbursements–has to be drained within 5 years. It’s not huge. After taxes, it’s about the size of the car loan. Should we make the $200/month payments, or cash out the temporary IRA and make the car loan go away immediately? Should we cash out the IRA and open one for my wife?

Although the cause was sad, these are good problems to have. If we manage this right, we’ll be more financially stable than we would have been for decades, otherwise.

I want your opinion, please.

2 questions:

1. House or credit card?

2. What would you do with a $10,000 IRA that has to be cashed out over the next 5 years?

Save Your Family

Finance, Life, Parenting

I don’t attach much importance to dreams. They are just there to make sleepy-time less boring. Last night, I had a dream where I spent most of my time trying to prepare my wife to run our finances before telling my son that I wouldn’t be around to watch him grow up. That’s an unpleasant thought to wake up with. Lying there, trying to digest this dream, I started thinking about the transition from “I deal with the bills” to “I’m not there to deal with it”. We aren’t prepared for that transition. Last year, we started putting together our “In case of death” file, but that project fell short. The highest priorities are done. We have wills and health directives, but how would my wife pay the bills? Everything is electronic. Does she know how to log in to the bank’s billpay system? Which bills are only in my name, and will go away if I die? Is there a list of our life insurance policies?

I checked the incomplete file that contains this information. It hasn’t been updated since September. It’s time to get that finished. Procrastinating is inappropriate and denial is futile. Here’s a news flash: You are going to die. Hopefully, it won’t happen soon, but it will happen. Is your family prepared for that?

The questions are “What do I need?” and “What do I have?”

First and foremost, you need a will. If you have children and do not have a will, take a moment–right now– to slap yourself. A judge is not the best person to determine where your children should go if you die. The rest of it is minor, if you’re married. Let your next-of-kin, your spouse keep it. I don’t care. Just take care of your kids! Set up a trust to pay for the care of your children. Their new guardians will appreciate it. How hard is it to set up? I use Quicken Willmaker and have been very pleased. Of course, the true test is in probate court, and I won’t be there for it. If you are more comfortable getting an attorney, then do so. I’ve done it each way. You can cut some costs by using Willmaker, then taking it to an attorney for review.

It’s a sad fact that often, before you die, you spend some time dying. Do you have a health care directive? Does your family know, in writing, if and when you want the plug pulled? Who gets to make that decision? Have you set up a medical power of attorney, so someone can make medical decisions on your behalf if you aren’t able? Do you want, and if so, do you have a Do-Not-Resuscitate order? Willmaker will handle all of this, too.

What’s going to happen to your bank accounts? I’m personally a fan of keeping both of our names on all of our accounts. I share my life and my heart, I’d better be able to trust her with our money. If that’s not an option, for whatever reason, fill out the “Payable on Death” information for your accounts, establishing a beneficiary who can get access to your money if you die. Do you want your spouse to lose the house or the car if you die? Should your kids have to miss meals? Make sure necessary access to your money exists.

Does anybody know what you have for life insurance? Get a copy of the policy and make sure your spouse and someone else knows what company holds it and how much it is worth.

Now, it’s time to make some lists. You need to gather account numbers and contact information for everything.

Bank accounts. List every bank and account you own. Checking, savings, CDs.
Investment accounts. Again, every company, every account.
Mortgage and car payment information.
Life insurance. Get your policy numbers, contact information, beneficiaries, and amount of coverage all in one place.
Credit card accounts. Every card, every company. If it’s just your name on the account, your spouse will need to send certified death certificates to stop collections. Otherwise, she’ll need to pay the bills.
Utilities. Get the account number for the electric bill, the gas bill, water/sewer/garbage, cable and phones.
Other bills. These include car/home insurance, Netflix, memberships and anything else you pay.
I’ve included the account information for my web host, registrars and websites. Some of it is salable, some of it is income-generating.
Car titles. Put the actual titles in the pile of lists.
Property deeds. Keep these here, too.

Non-financial information to list:

Online accounts. Any financial sites that would be useful, or any community sites you would like to have informed about your death. Your online presence is a part of who you are.
Email accounts. Will your survivors need to interact with anybody potentially contacting you? They will need your username and password, or most big providers won’t let them in.
Social media. How many networks do you participate in? Do you want to disappear, or should all of your Facebook friends know your dead?
Blogs. Do you have a blog that needs an announcement? Does it generate income? Could it be sold?
Contact list. Who else needs to be informed of your demise? Don’t make your loved ones hunt for the information.

Now, take all of this information and put it in a nice, fat envelope and lock it in the fireproof safe you have bolted to the floor. Make a copy and give it to someone you trust absolutely. Make sure someone knows the combination to the safe or where to find the key.

Your loved ones will appreciate it.

4 Ways We Keep Wasting Money

Finance

: Image by Getty Images via @daylife

MSN Money has an article up on common ways money is wasted. Here is my spin.

We(as a species) tend to do a great job of wasting money. Between inertia and the emotional pain of cutting off something we have gotten used to–whether it be Netflix or a 3rd arm–it’s hard to kill wasted costs. As Robert Heinlein said, “Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal.”

MSN listed 4 ways to make your money go bye-bye:

1. Credit cards

According to the article, in the US, the average rate of interest is 15% for a total nation-wide debt of $850 billion-with-a-B. That’s insane. I lucked out and quit using my cards before the CARD act forced all the issuers to send their rates to the moon. I’ve opted out of every agreement change since then, while I pay off the remaining balances. 15%! If you buy something for $1000 and pay it off in a year, that’s $1150. What could you do with an extra $150? It’s time to get out the torches and pitchforks and drop by Mr. Debt’s house.

2. Overdraft fees

I set up an overdraft protection account years ago, because it was a heckuva lot cheaper than bouncing checks. It came with a 25% interest rate and a $2 fee per use. A couple of months ago, they boosted the fee to $10 per use. Jerkface, you’re already cashing in on my interest, do you have to touch me like that at the beginning of the date, too? Thankfully, we haven’t used our overdraft protection since we went on our debt-killing crusade in April of 2009. Oh, Mr. Debt! You’re going to have a really bad day when I get to your house. There will be a smoothie à la Otis when I get there. Side note: If you’ve got a dark sense of humor, rent Otis. Not only will you love it, you’ll get the smoothie joke.

3. Unused memberships, gift cards and rebates

Gym memberships are the big example here. People buy a membership because they set some awesome New Year’s resolution, use it for 2 months, then spend 6 months telling themselves they’ll start using it again soon before they finally cancel. At $30 per month, that’s $180 that could have been spent sending me presents. If you must get a gym membership, wait until spring. That’s when people tell themselves they don’t need a membership because it’s so nice out, they can just exercise outside. When people tell themselves that, the gyms cut membership costs to lure people in to start their own 6 months of denial.

Take a look at your other recurring costs, too. Do you use the cable package you have, or could you be just as happy with the next one down? Do you need the donkeys-and-kneesocks-around-the-world channel? You’ve gotten your 10 CDs for a penny, can you tell Columbia House where to go with their $20 per CD commitment?

4. Airline fees

This one is easy. Forget the 3 hour lines, fees for showing up, Pervo-Scan™, and minimum-wage molestation agents masquerading as cops. Drive whenever possible. If it’s not possible, show up in a kilt, regimental-style(assuming you are a guy!). Don’t check a bag, just ship if overnight to your hotel. Most of the time, that’s cheaper than $50 per bag, anyway. Avoid the fees as much as possible.

What other ways have you wasted money?

The Game of Thrones Guide to Personal Finance

Finance

The Game of Thrones series was something I tried to avoid for a while as an HBO-hyped soft-core way to steal an hour of an audience’s life every week.

Then I read the first book. Within minutes of finishing it, I downloaded the second, followed by the rest.

I haven’t seen the show, but I have read all of the books. If you are into court intrigue and gratuitous sex and violence, you’ll enjoy the series.

If you aren’t into those things, you can still pick up some good financial lessons from the series.

Everything you care about will die.

You may not have to worry about your son shooting you in the stomach with a crossbow, or your foster-son burning your castle down while you’re away, but bad things happen. Your company will close or your car will break down or your refrigerator will die. Allow me to repeat myself: Bad things happen. Prepare for them now.

What will you do if one of your appliances break, or your kid needs braces? After the emergency is the wrong time to start thinking about it.

Money solves a lot of problems.

If you’ve got some money set aside, whether it’s a repair fund, and emergency fund, or just a mayonnaise jar full of cash buried in the backyard, it’s going to help you survive life’s little upsets. You don’t need enough to buy an opposing army’s loyalty, just enough to get you through whatever financial emergency is currently rocking your world.

You can’t buy loyalty.

Even if you sell your sister to the barbarians in exchange for their fighting prowess, you can’t rely on that. Don’t think that buying a car for your kid is a good replacement for spending time with her, or that a fancy vacation can take the place of regular, meaningful conversations with your wife. Money solves a lot of things, but it can’t take the place of actually being there for your loved ones. Your presence means more than your presents.

It all boils down to this:

Bad things happen, but you can protect yourself with a combination of money and meaningful relationships.

Search Results for: three-alternatives-to-a-budget/subscribe-by-email/budget-lesson-part-3/money-problems-day-1-setting-goals/consumer-action-handbook/budget-lesson-part-2/budget-lesson-part-1/questions-from-a-reader/5-life-altering-lessons-i-learned-from-my-debt/one-year-later

1. Credit cards

2. Overdraft fees

3. Unused memberships, gift cards and rebates

4. Airline fees

Everything you care about will die.

Money solves a lot of problems.

You can’t buy loyalty.