- Dora the Explorer is singing about cocaine. Is that why my kids have so much energy? #
- RT @prosperousfool: Be the Friendly Financial “Stop” Sign http://bit.ly/67NZFH #
- RT @tferriss: Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ in a one-page cartoon: http://su.pr/2PAuup #
- RT @BSimple: Shallow men believe in Luck, Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson #
- 5am finally pays off. 800 word post finished. Reading to the kids has been more consistent,too. Not req’ing bedtime, just reading daily. #
- Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse: morbid story from my childhood. Still enthralling. #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $7,400 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DDPy #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16
Whiners
I have a lot of friends and family in different financial stages in their lives. Some are deeper in debt than I am, others are just starting to dig their own pit, still others have paid off every cent of debt they’ve ever used. That’s okay; as they say, it takes all kinds to make the world go round.
Out of all of those, the only ones who irritate me are the spendthrift whiners. These are the people who spend 28 days a month struggling to make ends meet and complaining about how hard their lives are. They make snide comments about how easy other people have it, and act like they are being cheated out of their birthright whenever anybody does anything fun that they can’t do because they are too broke.
The other two days—or sometimes three—of the month, are payday. These are the days the the spendthrift whiners try to make themselves feel rich for 24 hours, while wondering why you aren’t willing to hit the fancy restaurants and expensive vacations with them. This is the day they will buy a dozen moves, or a new home theater system, or a big screen TV. It’s the day they will drop a non-refundable deposit on an exotic vacation, or shop for a new car. Before they know what’s happening, the money is gone and they are broke again until next payday, condemned to whining about their horrible situation, while their spendthrift-whiner friends and neighbors complain about the injustice of having to go without luxuries while our hypothetical spendthrift whiners have a big screen TV and an exotic vacation to Dubuque booked.
These people give no thought to the future. Their life savings consist of depreciating electronics and a fancy scrapbook. What do they do when life catches them by surprise? They come begging for a loan, or charge the emergency to a credit card while complaining about the cost of interest. Ultimately, everyone who plans ahead and sets some money aside is obviously trying to rip them off, because nobody can actually do well for themselves without being crooked.
They are absolutely convinced that life is too hard to succeed, and they refuse to examine their own behavior to find the cause of their problems.
Until payday.
What’s your biggest financial pet peeve?
This was originally a guest post written for a blog swap run by the Yakezie personal finance blog network to answer the question “What is your biggest financial pet peeve?“ It ran on Faith and Finance.
Hypocrisy
Sometimes people make choices for a variety of reasons entirely outside of my knowledge and understanding. Yet somehow, I still manage to be dismissive and occasionally derogatory.
What I have come to realize is that there are numerous reasons for making apparent bad decisions. It is easy, though often not correct, to dismiss these supposed mistakes as character flaws, without taking the time to fully understand the decision-making process.
For example, I am usually quick to point out the folly of gadgets. Odd, that, for a gadget geek. So many gadgets are merely ego purchases, bought because the are “cool”. Obviously a waste of money. A smartphone serves no practical purpose for an average person, right? What if that person’s life is so difficult to manage that a calendar sync including both spouses and multiple calendars will allow a family to make sure every kid gets to every activity on time? Or he has a side business that is easier to manage with ubiquitous email? Or even a strong urge to limit the number of items carried every day? A phone/mp3 player is fewer gadgets than separate appliances.
Another example is a close friend who started running several months ago, to be met with questions of why somebody would run without being chased. It’s easier to play on the internet or ride a bike, right? And the special running shoes? Silly. Except running is cheaper than biking and running shoes beat knee surgery any day. Running on the street is more effective than a treadmill, since you can’t step off after running two miles away from your house.
So here I sit, a runner with a crackberry and plate full of crow.
“Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins.” Indeed.
Making the Sale: How to Alienate Your Customers
Have you ever walked into a store only to be instantly surrounded by salespeople trying to sell you whatever their corporate office has decided is the most important thing for them to sell this week?
I remember walking into a big blue electronics store to buy a TV. The beautiful corner-unit entertainment center that perfectly matches my living room will fit–at most–a 32″ screen. Unfortunately, any questions I asked were answered with an attempted upsell to a big screen. I don’t want a fancy TV. I don’t have room for it. It doesn’t fit my needs.
Why do the salespeople persist in strong-arming me into something I can’t use?
Later, I’ll be visiting a couple of potential customers. I know from talking to them that they are expecting a hard sell and a push to sign a contract today.
I don’t do that. I can’t do that.
My goal for these meetings is to find out what these people want, and–more important–what they need. How can I know what they need before I have a chance to sit down and ask them? Even bringing a proposal to the meeting would show that I cared less about them than I do about their checkbooks.
Here’s my checklist of items to bring:
- Notebook
- Pen
- Spare pen
- Business card
- My winning personality
That’s it.
I can accomplish more with “How can I help you succeed?” than I can with “You really need to buy this from me, today.”
If the high-pressure sales-weasels at the big blue electronics store had been taught that lesson, I may have gone home with a high-end (though smaller) TV, rather than going home to buy online.
Have you ever had a sales-weasel try to convince you that you want something you don’t need or need something you don’t want?
Don’t Screw Future-You
A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do. So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.
Me: So? What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really? Again?
FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.
What would your future-you have to say to you?
Blacksmithing, or Quality Time With a Teenager
For the past few months, I’ve been taking blacksmithing lessons with my 16 year old son.
It’s something I’ve wanted to do for quite a while, but my schedule never lined up with the places that teach near me.
Then I forgot about it.
Last year, the History Channel started a new series called Forged In Fire, that made me think about it again. Better, the boy was interested, too.
If you don’t have a teenager, here’s some interesting information that’s almost universal: teenagers suck. You spend a dozen years of your life essentially doing everything for them. Then one day, they have their own interests and want nothing to do with their parents. I get it, it’s good for them to be independent and all, but it sucks for the parent who wants to spend time with the kid.
Enter blacksmithing. I’m interested, the boy’s interested, and I’ve dropped most of my side projects to have more time for my family and myself. Let’s do this.
Class number 1: 5 miles away, teaches Tuesday evenings at the height of rush hour. That’s a 45 minute 5 mile drive. It costs $350 each for an 8 session class, that I’d have to leave work early for and would cut into the kid’s homework.
Class number 2: 15 miles away, teaches full-day classes over eight consecutive Saturdays…for $120 each. That’s awesome. Except they book their entire year’s calendar of classes within 3 days of posting the schedule for the year. When they got my paper registration in the mail(seriously, paper? In 2015?), they called to tell me we were 6th on the waiting list.
Class number 3: 2 hours away. Full day classes on Saturdays. Held every Saturday, so we could come on our schedules. Cost $100, but $200 total for a class as we want them is way more affordable than the $700 up front for class #1. I’m sold.
Four classes into it, I find out that that’s the most classes I can pay for. I’m still welcome to use the facility, but now I have to supply my own charcoal. From here on out, it’s $50 for gas and $20 for charcoal to forge all day…and still get taught. If we pass some tests, we can officially join and sell our creations in the gift shop.
Totally sold.
So now, the boy and I are making the drive once a month. We talk during the drive, we work together on the forge. I love my kid, and I love spending time with him. I love making things, and I love sharing that love with my kids. In a few years, he’ll move out, but he’ll remember this for the rest of his life. It’s worth every cent.
