This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
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Fall From Grace
When you accumulate a certain level of debt, it feels like you’re wading through an eyeball-deep pool of poo, dancing on your tiptoes just to keep breathing. Ask me how I really feel.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m in debt. We have gone over this before. The story isn’t one of my proudest, so I’ve never talked much about how it happened.
Our debt was entirely our fault. We messed up and dug our own poo-pool. There were no major medical bills, no extended unemployment, just a strong consumer urge and an apparent need for instant gratification. Delayed gratification wasn’t a skill I’d considered learning. The idea of it was a thoroughly foreign concept. Why wait when every store we visited offered no payments/no interest for a year? We didn’t give much thought to what would happen when the year was up.
We got married young. We bought our house young. We started our family young. We did all of that over the course of two years, well before we were financially ready. Twenty years old, we had excellent credit and gave our credit reports a workout. Credit was so easy to get. By the time I was 22, we had a total credit limit more than twice our annual income. We fought so hard to keep up with the Joneses. A new pickup, a remodel on our house. Within a month of paying off the truck, I got a significant raise and rushed out to buy a new car.
Every penny that hit the table was caught in a net of lifestyle expansion. I was bouncing on my tiptoes.
Four months into my new car payment, I was laid off. There’s me, hoping for a snorkel. A week later, we found out our son was going to be a big brother. Our pool had developed a tide.
We killed the cable and cut back on everything else and…managed. Money was tight, but we got by. I got a new job, but had we learned any lessons? Of course not. We got a satellite dish, started shopping the way we always had. Times were good, and could never be bad. We had such short memories.
Fast forward a couple of years. Baby #3 is on the way while baby #2 is still in diapers. Daycare was about to double. Daddy started to panic. I built a rudimentary budget and realized there was no way to make ends meet. There just wasn’t enough cash coming in to cover expenses. That’s when I made my first frugal decision: I quit smoking. That cut the expenses right to the level of our income. It was tight, but doable.
There was still one serious problem. Neither one of us could control our impulse shopping. For a time, I was getting packages delivered almost every day. It was never anything expensive, but it was always something. Little things add up quickly.
Last spring, I realized we couldn’t keep going like that. I started looking into bankruptcy. Somehow, we managed to toss ourselves into the deep end of the pool. We had near-perfect credit and no way to maintain it.
While researching bankruptcy, I found our life preserver. We put together a budget. We cut and…it hurt. It’s taken a year, but every bill we have is finally being tracked. We have an emergency fund and we are working towards our savings goals. It hasn’t been an easy year, but we are making progress. We’ve eliminated 15% of our debt and opened out budget to include some “blow money” and an occasional date night. We are always looking for ways to decrease our bottom line and increase the top line. Most important, we are actually working together to keep all of our expenses under control, with no hurt feelings when we remind ourselves to stay on track.
We are finally standing flat-footed, head and shoulders above the poo.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Thrifty Sucks – The 30 Day Compact
- Image by waving at you via Flickr
During the month of September, we went on a 30-day compact. We decided to avoid buying anything new for 30 days. The plan was, if we needed to buy something, we’d hit a pawn shop, a thrift store, or Craigslist. Obviously, food and consumable hygiene products were exempt from the rules. I’m not going to stink or starve for an experiment like this. Ideally, at the end of the month, our discretionary budget would reflect our extra thriftiness, leaving us a couple of hundred extra dollars at the end of the month.
Great plan.
I found out a few days ago that we actually made it 3 days. Grr. That’s when the credit card bill came. Double-Grr.
All in all, that one slip isn’t a big deal. We also had a few presents we had to buy for a couple of birthdays and one wedding. Also not a big deal, since we have a budget for gifts. It may have been against the rules, but what were we going to do, drink the free beer at the wedding without bringing a gift? How rude.
So we had a few slips. That’s not bad, considering exactly how well “consumer” describes us.
Avoiding retail shopping is a lot harder than it sounds. We have everything we need, so on paper, it should have been simple. We didn’t need anything, so we wouldn’t have to buy anything.
Like I said, great plan.
There were a few books released this month that I have been anxiously awaiting, like Monster Hunter:Vendetta and Chris Guillebeaus’s book, The Art of Non-Conformity. They have both had to wait. In the next few days, I will be buying both of these books. That makes this project very similar to an inverse “Cash for Clunkers” program. Instead of moving spending that would have happened anyway to an arbitrary time-frame, I moved spending out of an arbitrary time-frame, but the spending is still happening.
My wife has an admitted shopping addiction. This project caused a rather…explosive…discussion this week. Not-so-coincidentally, that happened the day we got the credit card bill. Note to self: “What the heck is this?” is not the right way to start a conversation. Oops.
We had 30 days of trying to avoid the retail trap, and kicking ourselves when we slipped. What did we learn?
1. We are big damned consumers. We are so much better than we used to be, but so far off of where we’d like to be.
2. Target is infinitely more convenient that Craigslist. We may pay a small premium for that convenience, but generally, it’s worth it.
3. When you forget to budget for a speeding ticket that needs to be paid 5 months after you received it, it does not matter if you saved some of your discretionary budget by not shopping retail that month.
4. When you open a credit card bill and get upset, be prepared to get clubbed over the head with #3. Repeatedly.
This month, I’m going to do my best to learn a new language. I’m having a hard time deciding which one. Spanish would be most practical. Norwegian would let me read some of the artwork on my Grandma’s wall, but Italian sounds like the most fun.
Nothing like waiting until the last minute.
Things to teach your kids about money
As parents, it is our job to teach our kids about a lot of things: driving, reading, manners, sex, ethics, and much, much more. How many of us spend the time and effort to teach our kids about money? A basic financial education would make money in early(and even late) adulthood easier to deal with. Unfortunately, money is considered taboo, even among the people we are closest to.
It’s time to shatter the taboo, at least at home. Our kids need a financial education at least as much as they need a sex education, and—properly done—both educations take place at home.
How do you know what to teach? One method is to look back at all of the things you’ve struggled with and make sure your kids know more than you did. If that won’t work, you can use this list.
- Balance a checkbook. This is the most basic of financial skills. The easiest way to teach this is to help him open a checking account and demand he keeps the register current and reconciled. Make him use a paper register. Quicken or an alternative may handle the work, but your kid will never learn the underlying principles if he doesn’t have to sit down with a pen and calculator to do the work. The cheat can come later, when he is capable of handling the task himself. It’s the same reason schools don’t let kids use calculators until the basics are thoroughly mastered.
- Calculate paid interest. Understanding how much something costs after accounting for interest should be enough to scare anyone away from credit cards. I believe that the reason it doesn’t is because most people don’t understand how to figure out what interest is costing them. In case you don’t know yourself, the math is simple: balance X interest rate(as a decimal) / 12. That will show you how much you are paying each month for the privilege of borrowing money.
- Use your money to make money, not to pay interest. The flip side of interest is earned interest. It’s always best to let your money work for you, building your wealth than to struggle to finance a bank’s payroll liabilities.
- Save 25%. My son is required to put a quarter of everything he earns in his bank account. He gets $20 for shoveling the neighbor’s driveway, so $5 goes in the bank. The money he gets for gifts is handled the same way. Everything he gets, whether it be from a gift, his allowance, or work he does—gets divided the same way. If I can establish that habit for him, and impress upon him the value of saving 25% enough that he continues into adulthood, he will never have money problems.
- Always contribute to retirement. At every opportunity, from every paycheck, make a contribution to retirement. At a minimum, a 401k contribution should be made at a level that takes full advantage of any company match. If there is no match, even $25 per paycheck will add up over time. Teach them to work towards the 401k contribution limits.
- Spend less than you earn. This is the shining, glorious foundational principle of successful finances. Not just individuals, but businesses and even governments should learn this lesson. If–at all times–you are spending less than you earn, you will have more options to handle the remaining bits. If you live on the wrong side of this equation, you will never be able to get ahead, no matter how hard you work.
Those are the lessons that I am working to instill in my children, a little at a time. Am I missing any?
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