- Freedom is that instant between when someone tells you to do something and when you decide how to respond. #
- RT @keepinspiringme: Win a Canon EOS 450D SLR camera by simply tweeting the #kimcanon hashtag. #
- RT @mbhunter Carnival of Personal Finance: Parts-of-speech abuse edition http://bit.ly/7cyAqV #
- Note to self: While misusing the faucet sprayer may make me giggle, my wife is not so appreciative. #
- RT @copyblogger On Dying, Mothers, and Fighting for Your Ideas http://bit.ly/7gZgW3 #
- Blackberry? Good or Evil? #
- Round 1: Me v Snow. Winner: Me. #
- RT @The_Weakonomist: Men, I've learned that in relationships, you can be happy, or you can be right. #
5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting what you you’ve always gotten. One of the hardest things about getting out of debt is changing your habits. You need to break your habits if you’re going to get yourself to a new place, financially.
How can you do that? Habits aren’t easy to break. Ask any smoker, junkie, or overeater what it takes. There are a lot of systems to break or establish habits, but they don’t all work for everyone.
Here are my suggestions:
- Commit to just 30 days. I’m a big fan of doing new things for 30 days. If you can do it for a month, you can do it forever, no matter what “it” is. For just one month, don’t buy anything. I don’t mean avoid buying groceries or toiletries and I certainly don’t mean to stock up on new crap the day before your 30 day spending fast or rush out for a shopping spree on day 31. Just don’t buy anything for a month, no exceptions but the things necessary to stay alive and healthy. No movies, no games, no cars, no toys, and no expensive meals. Just 1 month.
- Switch methods. If you pay for everything with a credit card, restrict yourself to just cash. If you pay cash for everything, switch to a credit card. Breaking your long-established habits is a way to get used to spending consciously: taking the time to think about what you are doing, instead of just spending mindlessly.
- Identify your spending triggers. I can’t go into a book store and come out empty handed. So, I avoid bookstores. My wife has problems with clothing stores. A friend can’t walk out of a music store without some body piercing equipment. What are your triggers? What makes you spend money without thinking? Figure out what those things are and then avoid them like the plague…or the clap.
- Quit buying things for pleasure. Buying things makes us feel good. It sends a rush of endorphins through our bodies. The more we get that rush, the more we crave that rush, so the more we do to get it. You need to stop that. Before you buy something, ask yourself if it’s something you actually need, or if you just want a pick-me-up.
- Avoid shopping online. E-commerce sites make it far too easy to buy things at a moment’s notice. You don’t have to think about what you are doing or if you actually need whatever you are buying. You just buy. The best way too avoid them is to delete your credit card information from any site that save the information and delete the sites from your bookmarks. Whatever you can do to slow down the buying process will make it easier to avoid buying things, which can soon be stretched into NOT buying things at all.
Habits—especially bad habits—are hard to break. There is an entire self-help niche dedicated to breaking habits. Hypnotists, shrinks, and others base their careers on helping others get out of the grip of their bad habits, or conning them into thinking it is easy to do with some magic system. How do you avoid or break bad habits?
Integrity
I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to live to a fairly strict code of behavior.
I don’t cheat. Not at games, in my relationships, on my taxes, nothing. I don’t cut corners or try to get away with things.
The reason isn’t that I’m trying to be some fictional knight in a storybook. It’s been my experience that cutting those corners always seems to be more expensive in the long run, whether it’s fines, lost friends and relationships, or even a general crappiness of life. The people I know who are always trying to get away with stuff or get ahead at someone else’s expense have the least, whether that’s money, friends, loved ones, or happiness.
Living a noble, honorable life has benefits.
I don’t pay fines and penalties often. Just the occasional speeding ticket, but that’s been one in the last 10+ years. Not getting fined for parking in a handicap spot or cheating on my taxes makes it far easier to save my money and build my wealth than constantly handing money over to the government. I’ve got a friend who can’t keep himself away from the justice system. Spending 3 or more months in jail every year makes it hard to keep a job or have a relationship with your family.
My friends know they are my friends. They can count on me and that means I can count on them. They also know that if that equation falls out of balance, it will be over. I only want friends I can count on. If you can’t have my back, or you feel a need to gossip about my life, I don’t want you in it.
My kids have no insecurities about my love. They know I am here for them, no matter what happens. Even if the occasional temper tantrum has them screaming that I clearly hate them, they know better. They know this father’s love is unconditional.
Work trusts me. Last year, I basically created the department I work in my telling my boss that I was sure I could make it work.
I have some badass karma. In general my life if pretty good, and I like to think it’s because I work to be a good person, do good things, and treat the people in my life right.
There are some downsides. Not everyone lives like this and I have problems relating to them. I’m not a sympathetic person to someone who tries to duck out on child support or who has to spend 30 days in the workhouse for trying to hock a stolen stereo. I can come across as a bit self-righteous.
I expect the people in my life to live the same way and treat me the same way. When that fails to happen, those people are nearly always evicted from life.
Life’s too short for people willing to screw you over.
Sometimes, though, that eviction is too complicated to do quickly, cleanly, or easily. That’s can be a turmoil in my life, and I hate turmoil. I don’t normally have to debate the correct course of action. Something is either right or it’s not. If it’s not, I know it and it doesn’t get done. If I have to wonder, then it’s definitely not right.
Every once in a while, I get stuck with a choice between shitty options and that’s where this system fails. Sometimes, no option is good, right, and proper. Every choice has a big downside, and none of the choices are clearly right.
That’s turmoil. Indecisive, emotional, horrible turmoil.
How was your day?
Delayed Gratification, Take II
How much would you pay for a kiss from the world’s sexiest celebrity?
That was the focus of a recent study that I can’t find today. There is no celebrity waiting in the wings to deliver the drool, and the study doesn’t name which celebrity it is. That’s an exercise for the reader.
This was a study into how we value nice things.
The fascinating part of the study is that people would be willing to pay more to get the kiss in 3 days than they would to get the tongue slipped immediately.
Anticipation adds value.
Instant gratification actually causes us to devalue the object of our desire.
This goes well beyond “Will you respect me in the morning?”
The last time I talked about delayed gratification, it was in the context of my kids. That still holds true. Kids don’t value the things that are handed to them.
The surprising–and disturbing–bit is that adults don’t, either. If I run out to the store to buy an iPad the first day I see one, I won’t care about it nearly as much as if I spend a week or two agonizing over the decision.
The delay alone adds to the perceived value. The agony turns the perceived value into gold.
If I spend a month searching for the perfect car, the thrill of the successful hunt adds less value than the time it took to do the hunting.
Here’s my frugal tip for today: Delay your purchases. While it may not actually save you any money, you will feel like you got a much better deal if you wait a few days for something you really want.
Saturday Roundup
- Image via Wikipedia
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Day 18 of the 30 Day Compact. We’re doing well, but not perfect. My cousin is getting married next week, and I’m not going to buy used for that. That makes it 1 purchase so far this month, not counting food or consumable hygiene items. That’s not too bad!
The Best Posts of the Week:
Yahoo put 1000 computers to work for 23 days and found that the 2 quadrillionth digit of pi is 0. Just for the geek of it.
If you are habitually late, you are rude and selfish. Don’t leave other people waiting for you.
Just letting my inner survivalist out for a minute: Always watch what’s going on around you and don’t put yourself in a situation that makes you an easy victim. I strongly recommend a “Refuse to Be a Victim” class for everyone, especially–to let out my inner chauvanist–women.
For Halloween this year, I think I’m going to go as sexy Big Bird.
And finally, how much of your weekly 168 hours are you wasting?
Finally, a list of the carnivals I’ve participated in:
Nada. I forgot to submit any posts to any carnivals last week. I’m a sad clown.
Does Money Make Miley Cyrus Act Crazy?
If you’re like millions of people who saw Miley Cyrus’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards recently, you’ve probably wondered what the effect of massive success on the music and acting star. Cyrus seems to be
doing everything possible to remake her image in the exact opposite of her squeaky clean mold that Disney and other companies have created for her over the last several years. (A rumor has it that Disney even created a contractual obligation for Cyrus to maintain a certain haircut during her “Hannah Montana” television show.) There’s a sense of someone taking on their first sense of independence, and running with it — the star seemed to be sending the message to the audience that she was not going to live according to the expectations of others anymore, and from the look of it, they got that message loud and clear.
The horrified looks of Rihanna, Drake, and Will Smith aside, the real question people had is whether the massive financial rewards of Cyrus’ singing career can explain her crazy behavior. Cyrus is said to be worth about $100,000,000 — certainly a fortune by any standards. And since she is still struggling with the problems of young adulthood — forming an identity, understanding her values and taking a place in society, it’s very likely that her finances contribute to at least some of her behavior.This effect of money can come from many different areas of life. For one, many people who become wealthy at a young age are suddenly struck with the fact that they have no need to work, but who often want to develop a career and contribute to society. Take Steve Jobs for example, who at 31 years old was fired from Apple Inc. by the company’s board of directors. Jobs had in fact started the company himself, and was worth well over a hundred million dollars by that time. And yet, feeling like contributing to society was more important to his life than resting on his laurels, Jobs started a new company, NeXT, where he hoped to contribute inexpensive computers to universities.
The fact that Cyrus is barely into her 20s should tell you something about how much time she has to develop her career. She has enough to retire at an age when most people are just starting their first real job. And that is a tough position to be in. If she is hoping to push her singing and acting career well into adulthood — as most artists would like to — it may be that she is trying to make her mark now. Think of it a bit like Bob Dylan in 1964, releasing electric music for the first time, when before that point he was primarily known as a folk singer making gentle acoustic music.
Dylan’s idea may have been a bit like what Cyrus’ is. That is to say, maybe Miley Cyrus is trying to avoid becoming a has-been, a relic of the 2000’s who burned out playing inoffensive pop music. If this is the case, Cyrus may be able to shift her career into a different mode by showing herself to be an uncompromising artist. Remember that even the greats of the past — Frank Sinatra for example — were once viewed as essentially music for teenagers, and not serious artists. Sinatra even suffered career failure in his 20’s when his audience grew up and moved on to other things. But he came back to record success when he began allowing his music to mature and his ideas to gain focus. If Cyrus can pull such a move, she may not be remembered as a teeny-bopper, but as a serious artist.
