- Up at 5 two days in a row. Sleepy. #
- May your…year be filled w/ magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you…kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful. @neilhimself #
- Woo! First all-cash grocery trip ever. Felt neat. #
- I accidentally took a 3 hour nap yesterday, so I had a hard time sleeping. 5am is difficult. #
- Wee! Got included in the Carnival of Personal Finance, again. http://su.pr/2AKnDB #
- Son’s wrestling season starts in two days. My next 3 months just got hectic. #
- RT @Moneymonk: A real emergency is something that threatens your survival, not just your desire to be comfortable -David Bach # [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-09
Shattering Taboos
ta·boo
-adjective
1. proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable: taboo words.
There is a societal prohibition against talking about money, especially actual money. Talking about a deal, or the hypothetical bundle you lost on the Super Bowl is ok, but discussing how much money you make, or how much you have saved for retirement is almost as bad as talking about sex. In many social circles, it’s far worse.
Money is one of the primary causes of divorce, second only to infidelity. It can cause myriad problems, including anxiety, depression, paranoia, impotence, impulse spending, gambling, social isolation, suicide, and murder. Yet even therapists hesitate to discuss finance with their patients.
Occasionally to the chagrin of my family and friends, I’ve almost completely destroyed that taboo in myself. After spending a year and a half writing about everything I do financially, I’ve found myself with very little hesitation to talk about my finances in real life. I don’t mind discussing my credit card debt, my projections on paying off my mortgage, or almost anything else, with the exception of my salary. I’ve never seen anything good come from coworkers comparing paystubs. Somebody always gets hurt feelings.
Aside from that one exception, I think it’s healthy to talk about money. How many kids launch into adulthood financially clueless because their parents wouldn’t talk about money? How many marriages could be saved if couples would talk about their financial problems before they became financial disasters?
How can you go about breaking down the mental barrier to talking about money? Starting a personal finance blog and writing three to four times per week for a couple of years isn’t a practical solution for everyone.
Start small.
Mention the fact that you have a credit card balance(assuming you do) when you are talking to a friend. Suggest a coworker appeal his property taxes, or offer a couple of tips to help your cousin negotiate her rent.
Most importantly, start having these conversations with your spouse/significant other/life partner. If you can plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, you can certainly plan to discuss one of the most important topics in your life with her. If you can’t, are you really a good fit?
Try it. Break down that taboo. Your life will be better for it.
Are you afraid to talk about money?
Saturday Roundup
- Image via Wikipedia
This weekend, my wife is spending three days scrapbooking, which makes it a great time to visit my parents and let my niece and nephew entertain my girls for me.
Best Posts
Following your passion doesn’t always pay the bills. Sometimes, there is a tangent that can cover the mortgage while still allowing you to do what you love.
Not everyone enjoys it, but cooking isn’t hard. It’s not even a talent, but a skill that can be learned. Winging it, or creating your own dishes is a talent.
Did you know the spork’s predecessor was invented thousands of years ago?
Here’s a site to help you avoid conflicts with local customs when you travel.
Potluck game night. I think we need to make this happen at our house.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked
6 Ways to Stretch a Meal was an Editor’s Pick in this week’s Festival of Frugality. GenX Finance rocks.
Cheap Drugs – How I Saved $25 in 3 Minutes was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Questions From a Reader was in the Carnival of Money Stories.
Thank you!
If I’ve missed anyone, please let me know.
Clearing Up Social Debt in 3 Steps
Debt can be thought of as a disease–probably social. Most of the time, it was acquired through poor decision making, possibly while competing with your friends, occasionally after having a few too many, often as an ego boost. Unfortunately, you can’t make it go away with a simple shot of penicillin. It takes work, commitment and dedication. Here are three steps to treating this particular affliction.
1. Burn it, bash it, torch it, toss it, disinfect. Get rid of the things that enable you to accumulate debt. If you keep using debt as debt, you will never have it all paid off. That’s like only taking 3 days of a 10 day antibiotic. Do you really want that itchy rash bloodsucking debt rearing its ugly head when you’ve got an important destination for your money? Take steps to protect yourself. Wrap that debt up and keep it away.
2. Quit buying stuff. Chances are, you have enough stuff. Do you really need that Tusken Raider bobble-head or the brushed titanium spork? They may make you feel better in the short term, but after breakfast, what have you gained? A fleeting memory, a bit of cleanup, and an odd ache that you can’t quite explain to your friends. Only buy the stuff you need, and make it things you will keep forever. If you do need to indulge, hold off for 30 days to see if it’s really worthwhile. If it’s really worth having, you can scratch that itch in a month with far fewer regrets.
3. Spend less. This is the obvious one. The simple one. The one that makes breaking a heroin addiction look like a cake-walk(My apologies to recovering heroin addicts. If you’re to the point that personal finance is important to you, you’ve come a long way. Congratulations!). Cut your bills, increase your income. Do whatever it takes to lower your bottom line and raise your top line. Call your utilities. If they are going to take your money, make them work for it. If they can’t buy you drinks or lower your payments, get them out of your life. There’s almost always an alternative. Don’t be afraid to banish your toxic payments. Eliminate your debt payments. This page has a useful guide to debt and how to clear it off.
Update: This post has been included in the Festival of Frugality.
Fixing Your Credit Report
Sometimes, negative things appear on your credit report. Usually, they do a good job of maintaining
Credit card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)accuracy, but mistakes do happen. The creditor or the reporting agency may screw up, or you may have your identity stolen. If either of these situations are true, you’ll want to correct your credit report, making yourself eligible for lower rates on future credit and, occasionally, lowering the cost of things like auto insurance.
If you throw “credit repair” into Google, you get 18 million hits. Most of those are either outright scams or hopelessly optimistic about what they can accomplish. As I said once before:
Credit Repair is almost always a scam. There are ways to get correct bad information removed from your credit report. If the information is correct, those methods are illegal. There are two legal methods to repair your credit. First, stop generating bad credit. Make your payments on time and eventually, the bad items will fall off. Second, write letters disputing the actual incorrect items on your credit report. There are no quick fixes, and anybody telling you different is flirting with a jail sentence, possibly yours.
There are ways to avoid the scammers.
- Avoid advance-fee credit repair. If they are any good, you will pay for results, not intentions. If they charge beforehand, they are already breaking the law.
- If they insist they can erase the accurate, but negative information, run away.
- If they tell you to dispute everything negative, even the accurate information, run away.
- If they tell you to create a new credit identity, don’t just run, report them. It’s a felony.
Legally, you cannot get valid information removed from your credit report. Anyone who tells you differently is advocating a crime. However, according to the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA), you are entitled dispute incorrect records.
To verify the accuracy of your credit report, you need to see it. You can get a free report if your credit is used to deny you for something. This is known as an “adverse action” . You have 60 days from the denial to request the report. You can also get one free report from each of the major credit bureaus each year. I space out these requests so I see my credit report every 4 months.
If there is inaccurate information on your report, dispute it in writing. Send a letter to the credit bureau that is reporting the error. Explain the problem and politely demand an investigation. They will contact the creditor, who usually has 30 days to respond. In the meantime, send a dispute letter to the creditor, along with proof of the inaccuracy. If the investigation does not go your way, the creditor will have to report the dispute status to the credit bureaus in the future.
If the negative items are accurate, there is only one way to get it off of your report legally: Wait. Most negative information can only be reported for 7 years, while a bankruptcy will be reported for 10.
Another way to build your credit in the face of negative credit is to start building good credit to overshadow the bad. Get a credit card. Your first credit card from the bottom of the debt-barrel will probably be a gas card or a store-branded credit card. That’s fine. The main consideration is are low or nonexistent fees. Don’t accept application fees, activation fees, fees for carrying a balance or fees for not carrying a balance. Annual fees are becoming a fact of life, so look for low fees. The interest rate does not matter. You will be paying this card off immediately, meaning no less often that every two weeks. Make sure every penny is paid during the grace period, and make sure your card comes with a grace period. Some don’t. Those are bad cards to get.
There are no quick fixes for bad credit, just good new habits and time.
Invisible Cushion
Earlier this year, we experimented with abandoning the strict budget in favor of automating as much as possible on our credit card, and keeping our discretionary spending under control, but on the same card.
We failed. It was 2 parts lack of communication, 3 parts lack of discipline, and 1 part “we’re dumb”. Transitioning back to cash hasn’t been that smooth. The problem is that we went over budget for a couple of months and our renewed budget had to shrink to cover the credit card.
To recap: Coming off a few months going over budget, we had to tighten our belts even more than we had before…after breaking our good habits.
It didn’t work out well.
If one of us forgot to grab cash, we’d just charge whatever we were buying, which gave the month’s budget a spanking, every time.
Last month, I added a new category to our budget. It’s just a cushion. I’ve got $200 whose sole purpose is to make sure we don’t go over budget.
But there’s a secret.
The cushion is a secret.
I’m not a fan of hiding money from my wife, but I’m hiding this. Generally, I think that money and relationships and secrets don’t mix.
However…
She’s told me that, when she knows there’s extra money, she has an urge to spend it. If I told her there was an extra $200, she would spend it. If I tell her that we have $40o to cover our discretionary spending, and she goes over by $50, we’re still $150 to the good, which leaves me room to have lapses in discipline or memory, too.
Then, at the end of the month, any of the invisible cushion that is left over can get applied to our debt payments.
This system should let us keep rolling, with less stress and fewer arguments, while still helping us get rid of our remaining debts. The biggest flaw is the secret. I’m bad at keeping secrets from my wife, especially about things that affect both of us, but if i let it slip, the invisible cushion will go away.
What do you think? Am I a jerk for hiding part of our budget? Do you hide anything about your finances?
