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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Prepping for an Estate Sale

Finance

At the end of the month, we’re having a massive garage/estate sale. When my mother-in-law died, she left us a lot of stuff.

A lot.

Really, when I say “lot”, I mean it. When most people say they have a lot of stuff, they mean they’ve got a closet to clean out. That’s similar to looking at a “scale of the universe” app and comparing a grain of salt to the Oort cloud. We’ve donated several truckloads of blankets, jackets, and toiletries to a homeless shelter and more than 80 rubbermaid containers full of clothes to the Salvation Army. That’s on top of two dumpsters(big enough to park a truck in) full of garbage of things we didn’t think were worth salvaging. That has still left us with several rooms packed full of stuff.

When I say ” a lot”, I mean it in a visceral, oh-my-god-can-this-be-over-or-should-we-consider-arson kind of way.

Now, it’s time to get rid of the stuff that’s left.

The things that have sentimental value have already come home with us.

The things that look unique, rare, or collectible–like the 1970s Pepsi glasses–have been set aside for more research. They may end up in the sale, or on eBay, depending on what we find out.

From here, I think I can just follow my garage sale guide.

We’re going to run the sale on Friday, Saturday, and Monday of Labor Day weekend, to maximize traffic.

We’ll advertise in the paper and put up some signs. The house is on the busiest street nearby, so passing traffic should be high.

The nice thing about having an emptied house is that setup can be completely done ahead of time. We’re setting up tables and starting to price it all this weekend.

On the days of the sale, we’ll have at least 2 people working the entire time. One will be inside, while the other will be outside for the tools and furniture that are getting sold. Both will have money and be able to make change.

Outside, we’ll have the bigger pieces of furniture, tools, and some kid stuff to draw in passerby. Inside will be the appliances, jewelry, and the small and/or valuable items. We’ll only be setting up in the living room and dining room, with the back hallway and kitchen roped off, to control access and visibility.

We’ve got a bit of help available at different times over the weekend, so we should be able to handle the entire sale, including breaks, relatively smoothly.

Have you ever run an estate sale? Anything I’m missing?

Carnival Roundup

Misc

Sorry for the missing “real” post today. My mother-in-law’s funeral is later and the day’s a bit hectic.

Live Real, Now was included in the following carnivals recently:

Yakezie Carnival – Earth Day Edition hosted by The Frugal Toad

Festival of Frugality #334 hosted by This, That and the MBA

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Money Cone

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #31 hosted by 101 Centavos

Carnival of Personal Finance #358 hosted by Musings of an Abstract Aucklander

Yakezie Carnival – 4.22 Edition hosted by Faithful with a Few

Financial Carnival for Young Adults #9 hosted by 20’s Finances

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by My Journey to Millions

Thanks for including my posts.

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Have a great weekend!

Side Hustle: Garage Sale Tips

Finance

Garage sale week wasn’t enough. There are so many little things that I did–or meant to do–that I forgot to include them last week.

Advertise everywhere. I do mean everywhere. Take out an ad in the paper. Put an ad on Craigslist. Have fliers in the grocery store, the laundromat, and any place that has a publicly-accessible bulletin board. Put big, bright signs at every possible turn to get to your sale. Assume the drivers a dense. Don’t give them an opportunity to make a wrong turn or–like I did–put conflicting arrows on different sides of a sign.
Use bait. Set out tools and furniture where they are visible. Lots of people drive past if they only see knick-knacks. Tools get the men to stop, furniture gets anybody running a household to stop. If you don’t actually have any tools to sell, put your lawnmower out with an insanely high price on it. Heck, if someone wants to pay you 125% of retail for your mower, take it! I had a number of tools and lawn-crafting gear–actually for sale–near the end of the driveway. If I can get the people out of the car, someone will find something worth buying.
Price it like you’d buy it. People don’t come to garage sales looking for sale prices. They come looking to pay as little as possible. They want the crazy deal. You’ll have to oblige them, at least a bit. Price some things very low, and everything else almost very low. Aim for 25% of retail or less, except for a few special items that you won’t mind keeping.
Don’t be afraid to say no. Some hagglers are jerks. If the offer is insulting, don’t feel obligated to take it.
Bag the little stuff. Instead of pricing every toy 10 cents, put a handful of toys is a zip-lock bag for a dollar. Mix some of the bad with the good so the crap goes away, too. Reject every offer to open the bag and sell the stuff separately.
Put the bags of toys on a table in the driveway. Kids stay out of the confined garage and entertain themselves digging. Kids are clumsy. They can’t break your lamp if the don’t come near it. Parents will welcome something to keep their little brats occupied while they shop. It’s a win for everyone!
Describe anything that isn’t obvious. Make a lot of signs. To be clear, make a lot of signs. Describe the furniture. Show a current ebay auction for the item. Identify the antiques. You don’t want to be forced to sell everything yourself. Let the signs sell for you.
Start early. Price and sort your stuff a month in advance. The night before the sale, all you want to have to do is set up tables and unbox your stuff. Don’t try pricing it then.
Multi-day sales are best. It gives people a chance to tell their friends about it, or to come back and buy the thing they passed up. Don’t lose out on the buzz!
Save your grocery bags. A few weeks before a sale, I go to the grocery store and ask if they mind if a bundle of plastic bags goes home with me. The manager has always said it’s okay. If that doesn’t work, just double bag your groceries and save the bags for a few weeks.
Use blankets and tarps to hide anything that isn’t for sale. People will ask about everything they can see. Save yourself the hassle.
Plan your layout to let people browse and move. You don’t want a traffic jam in the garage. Give it a clear flow, with enough room for people to pass each other comfortably. Three people should be able to pass each other in every row. It’s not always possible, but try. If two people can’t pass, start over.
Clean your stuff. Clean items sell better. Dirty stuff will have to be sold for at least 25% less than clean stuff.

That’s it for now. More to come, I’m sure.

Note: The entire series is contained in the Garage Sale Manual on the sidebar.

Update: This post has been included in the Money Hacks Carnival.

Integrity

Life

I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to live to a fairly strict code of behavior.

Dragon-Knights (Photo credit: JimmytheJ)

I don’t cheat. Not at games, in my relationships, on my taxes, nothing. I don’t cut corners or try to get away with things.

The reason isn’t that I’m trying to be some fictional knight in a storybook. It’s been my experience that cutting those corners always seems to be more expensive in the long run, whether it’s fines, lost friends and relationships, or even a general crappiness of life. The people I know who are always trying to get away with stuff or get ahead at someone else’s expense have the least, whether that’s money, friends, loved ones, or happiness.

Living a noble, honorable life has benefits.

I don’t pay fines and penalties often. Just the occasional speeding ticket, but that’s been one in the last 10+ years. Not getting fined for parking in a handicap spot or cheating on my taxes makes it far easier to save my money and build my wealth than constantly handing money over to the government. I’ve got a friend who can’t keep himself away from the justice system. Spending 3 or more months in jail every year makes it hard to keep a job or have a relationship with your family.

My friends know they are my friends. They can count on me and that means I can count on them. They also know that if that equation falls out of balance, it will be over. I only want friends I can count on. If you can’t have my back, or you feel a need to gossip about my life, I don’t want you in it.

My kids have no insecurities about my love. They know I am here for them, no matter what happens. Even if the occasional temper tantrum has them screaming that I clearly hate them, they know better. They know this father’s love is unconditional.

Work trusts me. Last year, I basically created the department I work in my telling my boss that I was sure I could make it work.

I have some badass karma. In general my life if pretty good, and I like to think it’s because I work to be a good person, do good things, and treat the people in my life right.

There are some downsides. Not everyone lives like this and I have problems relating to them. I’m not a sympathetic person to someone who tries to duck out on child support or who has to spend 30 days in the workhouse for trying to hock a stolen stereo. I can come across as a bit self-righteous.

I expect the people in my life to live the same way and treat me the same way. When that fails to happen, those people are nearly always evicted from life.

Life’s too short for people willing to screw you over.

Sometimes, though, that eviction is too complicated to do quickly, cleanly, or easily. That’s can be a turmoil in my life, and I hate turmoil. I don’t normally have to debate the correct course of action. Something is either right or it’s not. If it’s not, I know it and it doesn’t get done. If I have to wonder, then it’s definitely not right.

Every once in a while, I get stuck with a choice between shitty options and that’s where this system fails. Sometimes, no option is good, right, and proper. Every choice has a big downside, and none of the choices are clearly right.

That’s turmoil. Indecisive, emotional, horrible turmoil.

How was your day?

Megan Fox’s Little One: The First Year Costs of Having a Baby

Celebrities, Gossip

If you can’t get enough of Megan Fox like everybody else, you probably already know that paparazzi has spotted her with a new and conspicuous belly bump. The steamy star already gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Noah in 2012, but she also expressed a desire to have more children in the future. We just didn’t think that it would happen this soon. Luckily, Megan is blessed with celebrity wealth, so funding another newborn shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Unfortunately, most new mothers aren’t celebs. If you are a new or expecting mother, prepare yourself for your bundle of joy by familiarizing yourself with first year expenses and ways to save money.

What are the first year costs of caring for a baby?

Babies are expensive. How expensive, you ask? Well, that depends on your standard of living. It’s a pretty good bet that Megan Fox will dish out more dough on her newborn than most people have the ability to. Baby Gucci just isn’t on the shopping list for mothers who live from paycheck to paycheck. However, the essentials are already expensive enough to make most moms have a panic attack. A 2010 USDA report suggests that a typical American family spends about $12,000 during the first year on a baby. These days, that number is probably closer to $15,000.

What will most of the money go towards?

There are two major items that are an absolute must for a baby: formula/baby food and diapers. Expect to shell out about $50 per week on these things alone. That’s nearly $2,500 per year. Another big portion of your baby expenses will comprise of pricier one-time purchases including a baby stroller, crib, car seat, etc. The rest of the funds will likely go to baby clothes, childcare, and medical expenses.

How can I save money?

There are countless ways to cut the costs of having a baby, but you need to get creative to maximize your savings. If you want to have a fatter wallet at the end of that first year, here are some of the easiest and most effective ways to do so.

Take free samples during the initial hospital stay

Many baby product manufacturers supply maternity wards with free samples, but nurses sometimes forget to hand them out. Remember to ask about these samples after giving birth, and bring home as much as they will allow. You can snag useful items like: diapers, diaper bags, baby lotion, swaddling cloths, disposable bottle nipples, alcohol swabs, a thermometer, a nasal aspirator and more.

Breastfeed

A mother’s milk is the healthiest food option for a growing baby because it contains nutrients not found in many baby formulas. Since formula can be very expensive, you will save a ton of money and give your child the best nutrition possible by breastfeeding.

Get oversized baby clothes or use hand-me-downs

Babies grow at an amazingly fast rate, so always buy clothes of a bigger size. If you have close friends or family members who’ve already had a child, ask if you can use their old baby clothes.

Buy diapers, formula, and other commonly used supplies in bulk

Like with most consumer goods, you will pay less if you buy more. Stock up on the essentials early on if you don’t want to waste your money in the long run.