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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Money Problems – Day 6: Reducing Expenses

Finance

Today, I am continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

On this, Day 6, we’re going to talk about cutting your expenses.

Once you free up some income, you’ll get a lot of leeway in how you’re able to spend your money, but also important–possibly more important–is to cut out the crap you just don’t need. Eliminate the expenses that aren’t providing any value in your life. What you need to do is take a look at every individual piece of your budget, every line item, every expense you have and see what you can cut. Some of it, you really don’t need. Do you need a paid subscription to AmishDatingConnect.com?

If you need to keep an expense, you can just try to lower it. For example, cable companies regularly have promotions for new customers that will lower the cost to $19 a month for high-speed internet. Now, if you call up the cable company and ask for the retention department, tell them you are going to switch to a dish. Ask, “What are you willing to do to keep my business?” There is an incredibly good chance that they will offer you the same deal–$20 a month–for the next three or four months. Poof, you save money. You can call every bill you’ve got to ask them how you can save money.

I called my electric company and my gas company to get on their budget plans. This doesn’t actually save me money but it does provide me with a consistent budget all year long, so instead of getting a $300 gas bill in the depths of January’s hellish cold, I pay $60 a month. It is averaged out over the course of the year. It feels like less and it lets me get a stable budget. Other bills are similar. You can call your credit card companies and tell them everything you take your business to another card that gave you an offer of 5% under what ever you are currently paying. It doesn’t even have to be a real offer. Just call them up and say you are going to transfer your balance away unless they can meet or beat the new interest rate. If you’ve been making on-time payments for any length of time–even six months or a year–they’re going to lower the interest rate business, no problem. Start out by asking for at least a 5% drop. In fact, demand no more than 9.9%.

Once you’ve gone through every single one of your bills, you’ll be surprised by how much money you’re no longer paying, whether it’s because somebody lowered the bill for you or you scratched it off the list completely.

Make Extra Money, Part 6: Setting Up a Site

Business, Finance

In this installment of the Make Extra Money series, I’m going to show you how to set up a WordPress site. I’m going to show you exactly what settings, plugins, and themes I use. I’m not going to get into writing posts today. That will be next time.

I use WordPress because it makes it easy to develop good-looking sites quickly. You don’t have to know html or any programming. I will be walking through the exact process using Hostgator, but most hosting plans use CPanel, so the instructions will be close. If not, just follow WordPress’s 5 minute installation guide.

Installing WordPress

Assuming you can follow along with me, log in to your hosting account and find the section of your control panel labeled “Software/Service”. Click “Fantastico De Luxe”.

On the Fantastico screen, click WordPress, then “New Installation”.

On the next screen, select your domain name, then enter all of the details: admin username, password, site name, and site description. If you’ll remember, I bought the domain http://www.masterweddingplanning.net. I chose the site name of “Master Wedding Planning” and a description of “Everything You Need to Know to Plan Your Wedding”.

Click “install”, then “finish installation”. The final screen will contain a link to the admin page, in this case, masterweddingplanning.net/wp-admin. Go there and log in.

Configuring WordPress

After you log in, if there is a message at the top of the screen telling you to update, do so. Keeping your site updated is the best way to avoid getting hacked. Click “Please update now” then “Update automatically”. Don’t worry about backing up, yet. We haven’t done anything worth saving.

Next, click “Settings” on the left. Under General Settings, put the www in the WordPress and site URLs. Click save, then log back in.

Click Posts, then Categories. Under “Add New Category”, create one called “Misc” and click save.

Click Appearance. This brings you to the themes page. Click “Install Themes” and search for one you like. I normally use Headway, but before I bought that, I used SimpleX almost exclusively. Your goal is to have a simple theme that’s easy to maintain and easy to read. Bells and whistles are a distraction.

Click “Install”, “Install now”, and “Activate”. You now have a very basic WordPress site.

Plugins

A plugin is an independent piece of software to make independent bits of WordPress magic happen. To install the perfect set of plugins, click Plugins on the left. Delete “Hello Dolly”, then click “Add new”.

In the search box, enter “plugin central” and click “Search plugins”. Plugin Central should be the first plugin in the list, so click “install”, then “ok”, then “activate plugin”. Congratulations, you’ve just installed your first plugin.

Now, on the left, you’ll see “Plugin Central” under Plugins. Click it. In the Easy Plugin Installation box, copy and paste the following:

 All in One SEO Pack
 Contact Form 7
 WordPress Database Backup
 SEO SearchTerms Tagging 2
 WP Super Cache
 Conditional CAPTCHA for WordPress
 date exclusion seo
 WP Policies
 Pretty Link Lite
 google xml sitemaps
 Jetpack by WordPress.com

Click “install”.

On the left, click “Installed Plugins”. On the next screen, click the box next to “Plugins”, then select “Activate” from the dropdown and click apply.

Still under Plugins, click “Akismet Configuration”. Enter your API key and hit “update options”. You probably don’t have one, so click “get your key”.

Tools

The only tool I worry about is the backup. It’s super-easy to set up. Click “Tools”, then “Backup”.

Scroll down to “Schedule Backups”, select weekly, make sure it’s set to a good email address and click “Schedule Backup”. I only save weekly because we won’t be adding daily content. Weekly is safe enough, without filling up your email inbox.

Settings

There are a lot of settings we’re going to set. This is going to make the site more usable and help the search engines find your site. We’re going to go right down the list. If you see a section that I don’t mention, it’s because the defaults are good enough.

Writing

Set the Default Post Category to “Misc”.

Visit this page and copy the entire list into “Update Service” box. This will make the site ping a few dozen services every time you publish a post. It’s a fast way to get each post indexed by Google.

Click “Save Changes”.

Discussion

Uncheck everything under “Email me whenever…” and hit save. This lets people submit comments, without actually posting the comments or emailing me when they do so. Every once in a while, I go manually approve the comments, but I don’t make it a priority.

Permalinks

Select “Custom structure” and enter this: /%postname%/

Click save.

All in One SEO

Set the status to “Enabled”, then fill out the site title and description. Keep the description to about 160 characters. This is what builds the blurb that shows up by the link when you site shows up in Google’s results.

Check the boxes for “Use categories for META keywords” and “Use noindex for tag archives”.

Click “Update Options”.

Date Exlusion SEO

Check the boxes to remove each of the dates and set the alt text to “purpose” or something. This will suppress the date so your posts won’t look obsolete.

SEO Search Terms 2

This plugin reinforces the searches that bring people to your site. It’s kind of neat. Skip the registration, accept the defaults and hit save.

WP Policies

Scroll to the bottom and click import. We’ll come back to this.

WP Super Cache

Select “Caching On” and hit save.

JetPack

Across the top of the screen should be a giant banner telling you to connect to WordPress.com and set up Jetpack. You’ll need an account on WordPress.com, so go there and set one up. After authorizing the site, you’ll be brought back to the Jetpack configuration screen. Click “Configure” under “WordPress.com Stats”. Take the defaults and hit save.

Contact

On the contact configuration page, copy the code in the top section. You’ll need this in a moment.

Pages

Now, we going to create a couple of static pages. On the left, click “Pages”, then “Add new”.

Name the first page “Contact” and put the contact form code in the body of the page. Hit publish.

Menus

Under Appearance, click “Menu”. Enter a menu name and hit save.

Then, under “Pages”, click the box next to “Contact”, “Disclaimer”, and any other policies you’d like to display. Hit save.

Widgets

Also under Appearance, click “Widgets”. This is where you’ll select what will display in the sidebar. All you have to do is drag the boxes you want from the middle of the page to the widget bar on the right. I recommend Text, Search, Recent Posts, Popular Search Terms and Tag Cloud. In the text box, just put some placeholder text in it, like “Product will go here”. We’ll address this next time.

Posts

We’re not going to worry about getting posts in place, yet. That will be the next installment. However, the steps in the next installment could take 2 weeks to implement, and we want Google to start paying attention now. To make that happen, we need to get a little bit of content in place. This won’t be permanent content. It’s only there so Google has something to see when it comes crawling.

To get this temporary, yet legal content, I use eZineArticles. Just go search for something in your niche that doesn’t look too spammy.

Then, click “Posts”, then delete the “Hello World” post. Click “Add new”. Copy the eZine article, being sure to include the author box at the bottom, and hit publish.

To see your changes, you may have to go to Settings, then WP Cache and delete the cache so your site will refresh.

Congratulations! You now have a niche blog with content. It’s not ready to make you any money, yet, but it is ready for Google to start paying attention. In the next installment, I’ll show you how I get real unique content and set it up so Google keeps coming back to show me the love.

Sunday Roundup: It’s Push-Up Time

Life

I Knew Pushups Would Pay Off Someday — Image by reid.gilman via Flickr

It’s the end of a month, so it’s time to announce my new 30 Day Project. Last February, in 22 days, I went from having my abs cramp after doing 15 push-ups to doing a set of 100. Yes, really.

The problem is that the push-ups weren’t perfect. Funny things happen to your body when you are doing 100 push-ups. It’s hard to tell what your body is doing. I had good form for the first 80, but after that, my body wasn’t perfectly straight. I looked like a typical second grader in gym class. But I did it. They were push-ups.

I haven’t done a push-up since.

In March, I am going to get myself back up to 100 push-ups, only this time, I will only be doing perfect push-ups.

Here’s the plan, based on what worked last year:

This weekend, I established my baseline. I did as many push-ups as I could, until the point of failure. Failure for this purpose is defined as either my form faltering or me collapsing. I went until I couldn’t hold my body straight.

Starting on the first, I will be doing 5 sets of push-ups, twice a day.

Set 1: One half of my baseline. Starting from 24 push-ups, this set will be 12 push-ups. As I progress, this set will never be more than 20 push-ups. It is the warm-up set, after all.

Sets 2-4: ¾ of my baseline, so 18 to start.

Set 5: Go to failure. Once again, failure is defined as faulty from. This will establish my baseline for the next session.

If I don’t progress for 3 days, I will take a day off to recover and–given previous experience–come back with some serious improvement.

This is a self-correcting progression. If I can’t meet the previous day’s baseline, my last set will be lower, which will lower the baseline for the following session.

An interesting question I have is how it will affect my diet. I haven’t been exercising at all, to see how well the slow carb diet does on it’s own. Now, I’m going to be adding an aggressive exercise plan on top of it. A plan that involves a bit of muscle bulking. I’m guessing that my weight loss will slow down a lot, but I will shed inches like mad. I will be tracking my progression, and my weight and measurements. The graphs should be fun.

30 Day Project Update

I am on the Slow Carb Diet. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 33 pounds since January 2nd! That’s 3 pounds since last week. Only 9 more to meet my goal for February. Oh wait. I won’t be hitting it this month.

Total Inches: I have lost 17 inches in the same time frame, down half an inch since last week.

Giveaway

I’ve got some codes for H&R Block Premium Online. It’s federal only and the state return costs an extra $35, but that’s still a screaming deal. Premium handles small business and investment tax issues. If you want to get it, leave a comment saying so. First come, first serve, until I’m out of codes.

Best Posts

Yes, I Am Cheap has a post about growing up poor.

Public Service Announcement: Liquidation sales are rarely good deals. When one store in a chain closes, the profitable merchandise always gets shipped to another store. The rest of it will often get marked up, in anticipation of people shutting off their critical thinking skills in the face of big “On Sale” signs.

I’ve found a new life goal: underground glowworm cave tubing. Wow.

OpenLibrary is offering up 80,000 ebooks to borrow, for free. 10,000 of them are still in copyright. I need a kindle.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

A few years ago, I sold a truck(on payments) to a friend, who promptly quit paying me and disappeared. I ended up playing repossessing the truck.

There was also a story about how I convinced two big companies that collecting on me for a bill of more than $800 wasn’t worth the effort. It was good, because I didn’t make the call.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Slow Carb Diet: How to Avoid Going Bat-**** Crazy was included in the Festival of Frugality.

Three Alternatives to a Budget was included in the Totally Money Carnival.

Protect your home was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Budgets Are Sexy ran my post, Side Hustle Series: I’m a Gun Permit Instructor. I forgot to link back to this, last week.

Prairie EcoThrifter ran my post, The Luxury of Vacation for the Yakezie Blog Swap.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Yakezie Blog Swap

Eric hosted the Yakezie Blog Swap, which is a bunch of bloggers writing on the same topic and sharing the posts with each other. Here is his list of the participants this round.

I wrote about my journey to become a DJ at Beating Broke.

Beating Broke wrote about shoe shopping at Narrow Bridge.

Barbara Friedberg got a really nice couch and shared the experience at Wealth Informatics.

Suba doesn’t think the rent is too damn high, in fact, Suba thinks it is worth it and shares at Barbara Friedberg Personal Finance.

Mr. and Mrs. BP spent a lot when they got a dog. Read about it at 101 Centavos.

101 Centavos went nuts on an anniversary, but you know what that can get you… Read about it at Broke Professionals.

Latisha Styles’ post at Bucksome Boomer is I Spent How Much?! My Birthday Trip to the Bahamas.

Kay Lynn spent her heart out on a new car with all the bells and whistles and you can read about it at Financial Success for Young Adults.

Derek got a sweet new digital camera and tells us about it at My Personal Finance Journey.

Jacob has splurged a couple of times on travel and outdoor gear and has no regrets and shares the experiences at My Life and Finances.

Miss T. likes to splurge on travel. We have something in common. The difference? She wrote about it at Live Real Now.

Jason is a fan of the luxury of vacation. You can read about it at the Prairie EcoThrifter.

Squirrelers went to Europe for three weeks. Totally worth it! Read about it at Money Sanity.

Money Sanity likes good champagne. I can’t judge, I like good Scotch. Read about why at Squirrelers.

Melissa took 10 days and took the trip of a lifetime to visit a friend in China. Read about it at The Saved Quarter.

The Saved Quarter bought a Blendtec blender. Yes, the blender from “will it blend.” The story is at Mom’s Plan. (In case you were wondering, this blender can blend anything. Well, anything but Chuck Norris.)

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

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Have a great week!

Dreams

Finance, Life

Ever since she was a little girl, my wife has wanted to be a horse. Err, work with horses.

The problem is that most jobs working with horses pay horse-crap. It’s hard to raise a family on a stablehand’s income.

Her alternative was to own horses. This comes with a different set of problems. The biggest problem is that we live on 1/8 of an acre in a first-ring suburb. That’s not a lot of room to graze, though I would be willing to give up my spot in the garage.

I rock like that.

Boarding a horse costs a minimum of $200 per month. Two girls means two horses, otherwise, they won’t both be able to score in the saddle club. For the math challenged, that’s $400 per month, plus about $300 in preventative vet care per year.

$5100 for a year of boarding an extremely obsolete car.

Then, you need a trailer to get the horse to shows. You need saddles and reins and and short-legged stirrups and feedbags and muck-rakes and brushes and combs and hoof-cleaning-thingies and other stuff that will catch me by surprise for years to come.

Expensive.

My rough estimate is that it costs at least $10,000 to get into horse ownership, and that’s not counting the horse itself.

You can buy a horse for well under $1000 if you aren’t concerned about registration or speed. A 15 year old horse can last 10-15 more years, so it’s not money down the drain.

That’s $12,000 to get in and $5100 per year to stay in. Minimum.

Never let it be said that I’m not a pushover. Last month, we bought an SUV that can pull a horse trailer. Last weekend, we bought the trailer. That’s two major steps towards making my wife’s dreams come true. The rest of the plan culminates in a hobby farm in the sticks.

There are several steps in between.

I just need to put the brakes on every other step. We’ve been offered the free use of one pony next season, and we may be able to get another for the same price. Beyond that, we need to be patient. There will be no ponies purchased until the new truck and old mortgage are paid.

Period.

Saturday Roundup: Winter Wonderland

Misc

Today, I am planning to be on the receiving end of a foot of snow coming in at 30 miles per hour. Tomorrow, when it’s time to clean all that crap out, it will be 30 degrees below zero. Fun!

The drawing for a $100 Amazon gift card is still going on! Go here for details. It ends on the 15th, so you have 4 more days.

Best Posts

Santa’s got a new phone number! It plays a simple message when you call it, but it’s an easy way to make a little kids smile.

How many days of your life did that that new gadget cost you?

Go watch Crystal get all survivalist and stuff. Have you ever though about what would happen if the world as you knew it ended? Even for a few days, say, after a hurricane hit?

It’s great to live in the future. I can’t wait to hit Lunar Starbucks.

LRN Timewarp

For those unfortunate enough to not have been tuned in since the beginning, I’m going to spend some time reviewing posts from a year ago.

In How to Have a Perfect Life, I layout the planning necessary to live a life you don’t regret on your deathbed. Just take the first step.

Babies are Expensive is one of my most-visited posts to date, and was my first carnival submission, and my first editor’s pick for that submission. The truth is, babies are expensive, but they don’t have to break the bank.

Don’t Screw Future-You was a fun post to write. What would the you from 20 years in the future have to say to you?

Carnivals I’ve Rocked

Consumer Action Handbook was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Mistakes Made was included in the Carnival of Money Stories.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.