- @ScottATaylor Thanks for following me. in reply to ScottATaylor #
- RT @ChristianPF: 5 Tips For Dealing With Your Medical Debt http://su.pr/2cxS1e #
- Dining Out vs Cooking In: http://su.pr/3JsGoG #
- RT: @BudgetsAreSexy: Be Proud of Your Emergency Fund! http://tinyurl.com/yhjo88l ($1,000 is better than $0.00) #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-12
Avoid Getting Ripped Off On Ebay
My son, at 10 years old, is a deal-finder. His first question when he finds something he wants is “How much?”, followed closely by “Can I find it cheaper?” I haven’t–and won’t–introduced him to Craigslist, but he knows to check Amazon and eBay for deals. We’ve been working together to make sure he understands everything he is looking at on eBay, and what he needs to check before he even thinks about asking if he can get it.
The first thing I have him check is the price. This is a fast check, and if it doesn’t pass this test, the rest of the checks do not matter. If the price isn’t very competitive, we move on. There are always risks involved with buying online, so I want him to mitigate those risks as much as possible. Pricing can also be easily scanned after you search for an item.
The next thing to check is the shipping cost. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen “Low starting price, no reserve!” in the description only to find a $40 shipping and handling fee on a 2 ounce item. The price is the price + shipping.
Next, we look at the seller’s feedback. The feedback rating has a couple of pieces to examine. First, what is the raw score? If it’s under 100, it needs to be examined closer. Is it all buyer feedback? Has the seller sold many items? Is everything from the last few weeks? People just getting into selling sometimes get in over their heads. Other people are pumping up their ratings until they have a lot of items waiting to ship, then disappear with the money. Second, what is the percent positive? Under 95% will never get a sale from me. For ratings between 95% and 97%, I will examine the history. Do they respond to negative feedback? Are the ratings legit? Did they get negative feedback because a buyer was stupid or unrealistic? Did they misjudge their time and sell more items than they could ship in a reasonable time? If that’s the case, did they make good on the auctions? How many items are they selling at this second?
[ad name=”inlineright”] After that, we look at the payment options. If the seller only accepts money orders or Western Union, we move on. Those are scam auctions. Sellers, if you’ve been burned and are scared to get burned again, I’m sorry, but if you only accept the scam payment options, I will consider you a scammer and move on.
Finally, we look at the description. If it doesn’t come with everything needed to use the item(missing power cord, etc.), I want to know. If it doesn’t explicitly state the item is in working condition, the seller will get asked about the condition before we buy. We also look closely to make sure it’s not a “report” or even just a picture of the item.
Following all of those steps, it’s hard to get ripped off. On the rare occasion that the legitimate sellers I’ve dealt with decide to suddenly turn into ripoff-artists, I’ve turned on the Supreme-Ninja Google-Fu, combined with some skip-tracing talent, and convinced them that it’s easier to refund my money than explain to their boss why they’ve been posting on the “Mopeds & Latex” fetish sites while at work. Asking Mommy to pretty-please pass a message about fraud seems to be a working tactic, too. It’s amazing how many people forget that the lines between internet and real life are blurring more, every day.
If sending them a message on every forum they use and every blog they own under several email addresses doesn’t work and getting the real-life people they deal with to pass messages also doesn’t work, I’ll call Paypal and my credit card company to dispute the charges. I only use a credit card online. I never do a checking account transfer through Paypal. I like to have all of the possible options available to me.
My kids are being raised to avoid scams wherever possible. Hopefully, I can teach them to balance the line between skeptical and cynical better than I do.
Working My Life Away
Since J. and Crystalare playing, and I don’t have a post scheduled for today, I thought I’d share my work history, too.
There are a couple of interesting things about my work history. Job #1 started when I was 6. Job #9 started when I was 21. I’m 33 now.
- Paper route. I delivered the local ad-rag. The route was split with my brothers. When I was 6, my share of the route was just the street we lived on. I think I had 8 papers to deliver. Later, that expanded to almost half of our tiny town.
- Odd farm jobs. I spent some time doing whatever needed to be done on a local hobby farm. That means everything from helping shore up a sagging wall in the barn to raking walnuts off of the yard.
- Dishwasher at my school. My freshman year, I gave up a study hall to wash dishes and serve lunch. My school was K-12, so I’d eat at the same time as the little kids, then wash their dishes and serve lunch to the rest of the students for $4.25/hour. I kept at it until my senior year, when I decided to relax a bit.
- Construction. Working with my Dad, until I fell off a ladder and severed a tendon in my finger when I landed. Easily the most difficult boss I’ve ever had, but it was excellent preparation for every other job I’ve ever had. His philosophy was that if he had to ask for it, I should have already known he needed it. Try carrying that training into another job and see if they complain.
- Dishwasher/Cook. I turned 16 and needed a job to afford a car that I needed to get a job. Nasty cycle. It took a couple of weeks of looking. Apparently, if a teenager puts on a nice shirt and shows up to the interview on time, he is way ahead of the curve. It took about 2 months to go from dishwasher to cook, and I kept the job until I was 18. I was working full-time all through high school.
- Palletizer. I spent 9 months standing at the end of a conveyor belt, picking up 50 pound bags of food powder mixes, taking 3 steps, and putting them on a pallet. We averaged 1500 bags per night. Fifteen years later, I still can’t comfortably button the cuffs of most shirts. When I flex, my forearms look like I have an unhealty “adult” internet addiction.
- Cook. While I was palletizing, I had a second job as a cook at a bar, working for a guy who was trying to avoid turning a profit by drinking his main product. This was 5 miles from the other job, and my car died right after I started, so I biked from job to job. In Minnesota. In the winter. I was a lean, mean popsicle.
- Machine Operator. I moved from the sticks to the Minneapolis area and was immediately hired to be run a CNC machine based on a friend’s recommendation to his boss. The pay was great for an 18 year old with no skills. I worked 5 twelve-hour graveyard shifts. The job mostly consisted of putting a little chunk of metal into a machine, closing the door, pushing a button, and sitting down for 15 minutes. This is the period of my life that trained me to shop for books based primarily on thickness.
- Bill Collector/System Administrator. After Brat #1 was born, 12 hour graves got to be a big pain. I’d work from 5 to 5, come home and make sure my wife got at least 4 hours of sleep, then I’d sleep for 4-5 hours and go back to work. Brat #1(who is now 13 and about 6 feet tall) needed to be fed every hour, so solid sleep didn’t happen for months. I took a pay cut to work normal, day-shift hours. I ended up working my way through college by collecting on defaulted student loans. Shortly after I graduated, I got promoted to be the system administrator of the collection system, responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars of debts flowing into and through our system correctly. I had a security clearance allowing me access to the Department of Treasury’s computer system. After a few years of this, the company decided that there were too many people with the same job description, so 5 overworked admins got laid off while the 6th got screwed with far too much work.
- Software Engineer. This is now. I write cataloging and ecommerce software, while managing a small team of programmers. I spend half of my day working on customer software estimates, training, and assisting on sales demos and half of my day writing code. I’m kind of a big deal.
That’s it, if I don’t count my side hustles. I’ve been earning a paycheck for 27 years, and have only had 10 jobs.
When did you start working? How many jobs have you had?
The Friday Tax
I’ve been at the doctor’s office every time my kids have been scheduled to get shots. I let them know what to expect before the shot, hold their legs still during, and comfort them after. It’s not pleasant, but it is a bonding experience. It builds trust. My kids know that if I tell them something won’t hurt, it won’t, because I tell them when it will. Unpleasantness is never a surprise. Somehow, this policy hasn’t led to a fear of the doctor. They always know what to expect and how tough I’m expecting them to be, so they don’t worry.
Last Friday, it was time for the unpleasant duty. Both of the girls had checkups and one was due for shots. I took the afternoon off to meet my wife and kids at the clinic.
It was a beautiful day. It was warm, the sun was shining, and traffic was light. The windows were down and music was playing; it was an almost perfect start to the weekend.
Did I mention I have a lead foot?
“No, honey, I don’t think we need to buy that” certainly loses some of it’s effect shortly after “Uh, honey? I just paid the voluntary driving-too-fast tax.”
For days, I heard, “Well, I wasn’t the one who got a speeding ticket!” This sounds like nagging, but it’s not. I am normally the one issuing reminders about spending and saving. This time, it was her turn. It’s not my job to hold her accountable. It’s our job–jointly–to hold each other accountable. If I mess up–and I did–she is perfectly within her rights to hold me feet to the fire. I certainly don’t hesitate when the roles are reversed.
I haven’t had a ticket in almost 12 years, so this isn’t a habitual problem. It is an expense that should have been avoided.
Now, I’ve got to take a day off of work and go to court to try to keep it off of my record, so it won’t affect my insurance rates. That means court costs on top of the fine.
Monetary weakness or a lapse in judgment can derail goals. We haven’t destroyed our budget for the month, but it’s not an insignificant amount of money. I try figure enough padding into our budget that this isn’t painful, but it is money that could have been “snowflaked” onto our debt. It could have meant another $150 in the vacation fund. That is disappointing.
It’s time to establish the habit of driving the speed limit.
Update: This post has been included in the Money Hacks Carnival.
4 Ways to Flog the Inner Impulse Shopper
Welcome to the time machine! This was originally posted on December 16, 2009.
Impulse shopping kills. Not literally, of course, but it stings. You need to stop. I need to stop. We all need to stop.
Here’s how:
1. Use a list. Everybody tells you to shop with a list. Nobody has problems shopping with a list. How, exactly, does a list prevent you from buying something on a whim? A list keeps you from forgetting things, it doesn’t stop your from putting Terminator:Salvation in your cart. Skip this one. It doesn’t count. No beatings for the inner impulse shopper means no honorable mention here.
Take 2:
3 Ways to Flog the Inner Impulse Shopper
1. Don’t Shop. I’ve found that it is almost impossible to leave Target for under $100. It’s too easy to grab a discount DVD or a small surprise for the kids. My solution is to use Alice.com. That’s right, I get my toilet paper by mail-order. With Alice, there are few opportunities for impulse purchases. I add the items I need, scan the deals for items I will need in the next few weeks, and have my wife review the cart for things I’ve either missed or don’t need. A few days later, there’s a big blue box full of deodorant, toilet paper and soap sitting on my front step. The manufacturer coupons are automatically applied and shipping is always free. I’ve easily saved $1000 in retail impulse purchases using Alice over the past few months. Alice is my favorite shopping-dom. Full disclosure: The Alice links are all referral links. If you click one and join, I will get 3% commission on your purchase for a year, and you will get a $10 credit after you spend $50 .
2. Set a goal and reward the goal – AFTER the goal is met. My wife and I have a goal to be out of debt in four years. We will enter 2014 free from debt. No car payment, credit cart, or mortgage. I have promised my wife that, in exchange for almost 5 years(we aren’t starting the process today) of frugal living, when we are done and have saved a bit at the other end of debt, I will take her on a cruise anywhere in the world. A real, debt-free vacation. AFTER we pay off all of our debt. AFTER we save enough to make the trip without sliding back into debt. This is the carrot instead of the stick. If the carrot doesn’t work, you can always try the stick. Not on your spouse, of course, but on the inner impulse shopper. Beat that little jerk ’til he cries.
3. Make yourself accountable. If you’re married, make yourself accountable to your spouse. If you’re single, go public with your frugality. “I’m a cheap bastard and I’m swearing off xxx until I’m out of debt.” Let your family and friends know what you are doing so they can be your support system. I regularly call my wife from a store, just so she can say “no” to me. When we are ready to check out at a store, we find some out of the way location and go through everything in the cart to see if we really need it or if it was simply an impulse grab.
How do you flog the masochistic little demon in your wallet?
Kids Are Temporary
Have you ever watched someone go nuts after they have kids?
I mean, even after the I-haven’t-slept-more-than-20-minutes-in-a-row-for-3-months stage of babydom?
These people dedicate their lives to their kids. They sacrifice all of their hopes and dreams and focus on the brats. They can’t have a date night because little Sally might get lonely without mommy and daddy. Can’t have a hobby because Johnny’s on the traveling soccer team. Can’t get laid because it’s a family bed and that’s kind of creepy when the kids are right there.
Everything for the kids.
As they grow, it gets worse. You spend more time helping with homework and less time talking to your wife. More time playing chauffeur, less time playing doctor.
It’s a nasty cycle, and it comes with an abrupt stop.
What happens when school’s out? Little Johnny graduates with a dual degree in Practical Philosophy and Experimental Art History, gets a job at the local Stab-and-Grab, gets married, and starts a family.
When that happens, parents suddenly become “extended family”. The kid has a life of his own and probably doesn’t need his clothes picked out in the morning, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to write his name in his underwear.
This is planned. It is–in theory–the reason we raise our kids. It shouldn’t be a surprise, even if it is a bit of a shock.
Can you survive it? Can your marriage?
If you’ve spent the last 20 years of your life pretending you are nothing but a system for delivering food, rides, and gadgets for your kids, what are you going to do with your time when they are busy pretending they are that system for their kids? If you’ve never developed a hobby, are you going to go extra-special, bat-**** crazy now?
For 20 years, have all of your conversations been about your kids? Have all of your outings been birthday parties? Will you have anything to say to your spouse when the kids are gone?
Your kids are temporary.
They are important. They are your genetic legacy and the people who will choose your nursing home. Don’t neglect them, but you do have to hold something back. Make time for yourself. Make time for your husband or your wife. Or both, if you can make that work.
When your kids are working 90 hour weeks building a new career, or hustling 4 kids to 10 after-school activities, your life doesn’t get to revolve around them.
All you’ve got is yourself and your wife. If she’s not feeling secure about your feelings now, when she loses the distraction of puke in her hair, that insecurity will blossom in unpleasant ways. If you can’t find a conversation that doesn’t involve the kids now, the silence will be blistering when you eventually lose that crutch.
If you don’t have a hobby, get one.
If you don’t have a relationship with your wife, get one. Take her on a date tonight. Your kids are temporary, your marriage shouldn’t be. This is the rest of your life. Make it worthwhile.
