- RT @Dave_Champion Obama asks DOJ to look at whether AZ immigration law is constitutional. Odd that he never did that with #Healthcare #tcot #
- RT @wilw: You know, kids, when I was your age, the internet was 80 columns wide and built entirely out of text. #
- RT @BudgetsAreSexy: RT @FinanciallyPoor "The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." ~ Unknown #
- Official review of the double-down: Unimpressive. Not enough bacon and soggy breading on the chicken. #
- @FARNOOSH Try Ubertwitter. I haven't found a reason to complain. in reply to FARNOOSH #
- Personal inbox zero! #
- Work email inbox zero! #
- StepUp3D: Lame dancing flick using VomitCam instead or choreography. #
- I approve of the Nightmare remake. #Krueger #
Effen Carpets, Effen Pets
We’ve got pets. Lots of pets.
- 4 cats
- 3 kids
- 2 pythons
- 1 dog
- 1 hamster
And yours truly.
I count, I make a good mess.
Pets have hair. Well, except for the python and the horrible abominations of mis-evolved Chinese food known as bald cats.
Pet hair gets every-damn-where.
A few weeks ago, we watched our friend’s dogs for a few days.
Those things pee. Not in the backyard like good dogs, but on the girls’ bedroom carpet.
I hate pee.
Not my own, of course.
I really, really hate animal pee in my house.
So we got the carpets cleaned. Linda told me it would be a bit more than normal, since we were going to get the air ducts cleaned at the same time. I was fine with that. Animal hair gets everywhere, and in the ducts, it makes the furnace and air conditioner work poorly.
Then, I got an email alert from Capital One.
Seven hundred freaking dollars!
That’s about $400 more than I was expecting.
Not flipping thrilled! <—-Understatement.
Thankfully, we have money tucked aside for crap like this, but if stuff keeps coming up, we’re going to be hosed.
Personal Finance, Canine-Style
No matter how many excellent books you read, or how many experts you consult, sometimes the best advice comes from beast out fertilizing my yard. My dog is pretty smart. At middle-age, she’s got no debt, no stress, and no possibility of being fired. I asked her what her secrets are, and she gave me 5 rules for managing her finances.
- Sniff around. You never know when or where an opportunity will present itself. Keep your eyes open and look in some unusual places and you may just find the golden opportunity you’ve been waiting for. Jacob and Susan D’Aniello have a multi-million dollar franchise called DoodyCall. They have turned themselves into millionaires, starting with a shovel, a leash, and a plastic bag. Never be afraid to look your future in the eye.
- Don’t be afraid to sniff a butt. It’s important to know who you are dealing with, especially when your are making life-changing or expensive decisions. If it doesn’t smell right, bare your teeth and back off. Seriously, in most situations, you can trust your gut instinct. Especially if that instinct is telling you to run away. Read everything you sign. If you don’t understand it, find someone who does. Know what you are getting into at all times. Get referrals. Call the Better Business Bureau. You are in charge of protecting your own interests.
- Lick your own butt. Watching your emergency fund grow is nice, but not everything is. There are some aspects of personal finance that are downright unpleasant, but ignoring them is worse. You can’t ignore an upside-down budget forever, or it will never get fixed. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and do what needs to be done, no matter how distasteful. But keep the mouthwash handy.
- Bury a bone. Minds out of the gutter, please. Save for the lean times. You may have two bones today, but what about tomorrow, or next week? What if the bone-fairy never comes to visit again? Make your surplus last, because you never know when life will whack you with a newspaper. If you don’t have an emergency fund, start one. Today. Now. Go set up an automatic transfer of $10 per week. Now. If you don’t have an emergency fund, everything is an emergency.
- Wag your tail. Don’t be afraid to enjoy the good things. When you make progress on your debt, congratulate yourself. Take credit and take pride in what you’ve accomplished. It’s more important to be happy than rich, so don’t obsess over the little things, or the material things. Enjoy your family, enjoy your job(or find a job you can enjoy), enjoy your life.
Maybe I shouldn’t write while watching my dog poop at 5AM.
Update: This post has been included in Festival of Frugality.
About
I am a husband, father of three, and a software engineer and I think I am going through a mid-life crisis*. I woke up one morning and took stock of my life. There are quite a few things I am not happy with in my life. It’s time to correct that.
We have too much debt. My wife and I have gone through a slow financial meltdown over the last ten years. We spent so much time living beyond our means that, now that we are earning a comfortable salary, we can’t afford to do the things we did on half this income. Our lives are upside down. This is going to change. As a start, I’ve been slashing expenses and selling my toys in an effort to get out of debt.
We have too much stuff. I’ve been downsizing and simplifying everything we own. I have thrown out truckloads of stuff we don’t need or can do without. We recently moved a close friend into our spare bedroom. Making room for him was a chore, due to our excess crap. It’s gotta go. If we don’t know what we have, we don’t need it.
I’m out of shape. I used to be in great shape. Ten years of surburbia and desk jobs has changed that. I’ve started running and will get back in shape. I intend to live long enough to be a happy burden to my children.
I don’t spend enough time with my wife. I’m still completely in love, but we need to be closer. I’m in this for the long haul. Fifty years of watching TV isn’t good enough. We need to be close.
Those are my problems and some hints towards my plans to correct my life. There is nothing I’ve earned that I regret, but definitely some things I want to improve. In short, I want to be the man my children think I am.
*If this is mid-life, I’ve made some very bad life choices.
Fighting Fair
This was a guest post on another site early last year.
Everyone, at times, has disagreements. How boring would life be if everyone agreed all of the time? How you handle those disagreements may mean disaster.
This is particularly true when you are arguing with your spouse. You spend most non-working moments with this one person, this wonderful, loving, infuriating person. Your emotions will naturally run high while discussing the things you care most about with the person you care most about. Arguments are not only natural, but inevitable.
How do you have an argument with someone you love without lasting resentment?
You have to argue fairly. There are a few principles to remember during an argument.
- When your partner is talking, your job is to listen with all of your energy. You are not interrupting. Your are not planning your rebuttal while waiting for your turn to talk. Your are listening, nothing else. If you don’t listen, you can’t understand. If you don’t understand, you can’t find a resolution.
- Remember that your partner cares. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t feel so strongly about the argument. This isn’t a war, just an argument. She still wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Keeping this in mind will change the entire tone of the argument into a positive interaction. You will still disagree, but you will be looking for a solution together, instead of finding a “win” at any cost.
- Search for the best intent. Remember #2? There is an incredibly good chance that, if there are two ways to interpret something your partner has said–a good way and a bad way–your partner probably meant the good way. Even if you are wrong, it is far better to err on the side of resolution than the side of antagonism.
- When your partner has finished speaking, it’s still not your turn to argue. Your job now is to repeat your understanding of the issue, without worrying about problem-solving. Before you can refute the argument–or even establish your disagreement–you have to know that you understand her position and she has to know that you do. Without understanding, there can be no path to resolution that doesn’t cause resentment. If you have too much resentment, you won’t have a marriage.
After all of this, it will finally be your turn to make your point. Hopefully, your partner will be following the same rules so you can solve your problems together, without learning to hate each other.
Arguments in your marriage aren’t–or shouldn’t be–intended to draw blood. Fights happen. If your goal is to win at any cost, you will both lose, possibly everything.
Mastermind – The Best Personality Type
A few of the best personal finance blogs have decided to post on a theme. It’s a personality type blog carnival.
After taking the Jung Typology Test, I discovered that I am an INTJ; a Rational Mastermind. Specifically I am I(78%) N(12%) T(75%) J(44%).
What does that mean, you ask?
It means that I am rare. Fewer than 3% of the population has my personality type, which is Introvert iNtuition Thinking Judgement, but the intuition is close to Sensing, making me almost an ISTJ, or a Guardian Inspector.
From Wikipedia:
- I – Introversion preferred to extraversion: INTJs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations (whereas extraverts gain energy).
- N – Intuition preferred to sensing: INTJs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.
- T – Thinking preferred to feeling: INTJs tend to value objective criteria above personal preference. When making decisions they generally give more weight to logic than to social considerations.
- J – Judgment preferred to perception: INTJs tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability, which to perceptive types may seem limiting.
- S – Sensing preferred to intuition: ISTJs tend to be more concrete than abstract. They focus their attention on the details rather than the big picture, and on immediate realities rather than future possibilities.
To summarize the personality of a mastermind: We are big-picture planners. We see patterns other people miss and use that to solve complex puzzles and problems. It’s not possible to follow a thought through the head of a mastermind, because thinking comes with a ton of free association. We may be watching an episode of Spongebob, and something Patrick does will trigger a domino-effect of seemingly unrelated thoughts that will lead a conclusion, out of nowhere. Often, we aren’t aware of the process.
We don’t do crowds, at least, not often. Good conversation with good friends is better than a party full of people we barely know. Crowds are draining. A quiet night at home is a good night, but that’s not saying we-re shy. We just don’t enjoy keeping up with small talk and polite chatter. Get us on a topic we’re passionate about and you won’t shut us up. Get us in a group of people we care about, and we can be the life of the party.
As a group, we are ambitious and deliberate. We are capable of making firm decisions, confidently. Confidence is one of the hallmarks of a mastermind, but one I don’t have to the normal extreme.
We are obsessive focused. When we get set on a problem, we focus in a way that leaves other people stupefied. Time goes away. The rest of the world fades. You may have to shout to get our attention. Sometimes, our minds will drift in the middle of a conversation, and we’ll lose track of who’s saying what. It’s rude, but that doesn’t change the way we are wired.
We don’t do emotion. We are rational and get frustrated with people who make decisions based on emotion. This makes it hard to connect with others, but that’s okay, because it’s better to have a few extremely close friends than a crowd of mere acquaintances. Unfortunately, this can make relationships difficult, too. The benefit to dating or marrying an INTJ is that we carry our focus into relationships. We take our relationships seriously.
We are inwardly-focused, so we spend quite a bit of time examining ourselves. This can lead to a long series of self-improvement projects, but none get taken on as a mere fad. They are planned and dissected before even being mentioned to others, let alone undertaken.
We take criticism well, but if you can’t back up the critique with facts and reasoning, don’t bother. Rational, remember?
We are driven by a need to understand. Once we understand, a given project or line of thought may be abandoned. Until we understand, very little can shake our focus.
Self-promotion is difficult, since we don’t get into the heads of others well. They should be able to see the obvious benefits without being told, right?
Now, to cross a bit of the ISTJ into the mix.
An Inspector is duty bound and loyal, to an extreme. They are dependable workhorses. Under stress, they can get stuck on the things that could go wrong, which would explain why I miss out on the confidence brought by being a mastermind.
To summarize me:
- I am a planner.
- I am extremely focused, to the point of obsession.
- I am driven to learn new things, constantly. Few of those things are incorporated into my life, long-term.
- I don’t cheat. Taxes, games, relationships, etc.
- I am intensely loyal, but to very few people or causes. I don’t end relationships quickly or easily. That said, when it’s time for them to be over, I can break it off with little regret.
Security, improvement, planning, learning, thinking, loyalty, honesty, integrity.
That sounds about right.
Now you know a bit about how I tick. What’s your personality type?
