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The Happy Challenge

Watch this video.


Done?

Great.

For the cheaters, the part I am most interested in is the bit about reprogramming your brain for happiness.   Studies are showing that you can rewire yourself to be happier by doing happy things.

The science is sound.  Good things trigger a dopamine reaction.  Your body likes dopamine, so you start craving the things that make it happen, which all happen to be good things.  As you suffer dopamine withdrawal, you become driven to do what it takes to get your fix.

The process is similar to heroin withdrawal, with no downside.

Hugging your kids(assuming you like them) triggers the reaction.  So does sex, successes at work, and beating a video game.

The specific plan mentioned in the video is to write down three things that you are grateful for, once per day, for 21 days in a row.  That will begin the self-reinforcing training that can get you hooked on being happy.

That’s a win. 75% of job success is predicted by your attitude.  You are 31% more productive when you are happy.  You’re also more fun to be around.

That’s a win.

Here’s my challenge:

For the next 21 days, do it.  Write down 3 thing you are grateful for.  What makes you happy?  It’s okay if it’s hard.  If it’s hard for you, you need it more than most.

Now, the truly hard part:

Fill out this form every day.  Your answers can be as long or as short as you’d like, but there has to be 3 new things every day for 21 days.  We’re going to train your brain to look for the positive, so you can’t give me 63 things on day 21.  3 things, 21 days.

On day 22, tell me how the previous 3 weeks have been.

When it’s over, I’ll hold a drawing for everyone who completed the challenge.   Not everyone will see this immediately, so I’m going to run the challenge until May 15.    That means you have until April 24th to get started.

3 answers per day means three prizes.  I’ll give away a total of $250 to three lucky participants.   That’s a $125 prize, a $75 prize, and a $50 prize, but you have to obey the rules.  3 things, 21 days in a row.

Be happy.  I dare you.

Net Worth Update

Now that my taxes are done and paid for, I thought it would be nice to update my net worth.

In January, I had:

Assets

  • House: $252,900
  • Cars: $20,789
  • Checking accounts: $3,220
  • Savings accounts$6,254
  • CDs: $1,105
  • IRAs: $12,001
  • Investment Accounts: $1,155
  • Total: $297,424

Liabilities

  • Mortgage: $29,982
  • Credit card: $18,725
  • Total: $48,707

Overall: $249,717.00

Here is my current status:

Assets

  • House: $240,100 (-12,800)  Estimated market value according to the county tax assessor.   This will be going down in a few months when the estimates are finalized for the year.  I don’t care much about this number.  We’re not moving any time soon, so the lower the value, the lower the tax assessment.
  • Cars: $15,857 (-4,932)   Kelly Blue Book suggested retail value for both of our vehicles and my motorcycle.
  • Checking accounts: $4,817 (+1,597)   I have accounts spread across three banks.  I don’t keep much operating cash here, so this fluctuates based on how far away my next paycheck is.
  • Savings accounts: $6,418 (+164)   I have savings accounts spread across a few banks.  This does not include my kids’ accounts, even though they are in my name.  This includes every savings goal I have at the moment.  I swept a chunk of this into an IRA to lower my tax bill, which is also why my IRA balance is up as much as it is.
  • CDs: $1,107 (+2)   I consider this a part of my emergency fund.
  • IRAs: $16,398 (+4,397)  I have finally started to contribute automatically.  It’s only $200 at the moment, but it’s something.
  • Investment Accounts:  $308 (-847)  I pulled most of this out and threw it at a credit card.
  • Total: $285,005 (-12,419)

Liabilities

  • Mortgage: $28,162 (-1,820)
  • Credit card: $16,038  (-2,687)  This is the current target of my debt snowball.  This has actually grown a bit over the last week.  I did a balance transfer that cost $400, but it gives me 0% for a year, versus the 9% I was paying.  That will pay for itself in 3 months, while simplifying my payments a bit and saving me almost a thousand dollars in payments this year.
  • Total: $44,200 (-4,507)

Overall: $240,805 (-8,912)

Well, I lost some net worth over the last quarter, but it’s still a good report.  If I disregard the change in value of my house and cars–two thing I have no control over–my overall total would have gone up almost $9,000.

All in all, it’s been a good year for me, so far, though paying off that credit card by fall is going to be a challenge.

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Happy Challenge Winners

On April 4th, I issued a challenge and threw out a bribe to make it happen.

For the next 21 days, do it.  Write down 3 thing you are grateful for.  What makes you happy?  It’s okay if it’s hard.  If it’s hard for you, you need it more than most.

Now, the truly hard part:

Your answers can be as long or as short as you’d like, but there has to be 3 new things every day for 21 days.  We’re going to train your brain to look for the positive, so you can’t give me 63 things on day 21.  3 things, 21 days.

On day 22, tell me how the previous 3 weeks have been.

The contest ran until May 15th and generated 435 happy things across 145 cumulative days.    I’m going to spend some time crunching the data because it is inspiring to read the things that make all of you happy every day.   Mostly, it’s little things, like quiet Sunday mornings, fresh air, or family meals.  Those are the things life is made of.  The big things pass as milestones, but they can never create a happy life by themselves.

On to the winners!

These were chosen randomly.  I cannot and will not try to judge who has the best reasons to be happy.

In first place, K.C. wins $125.   K.C.’s Day 22 response was “It was really hard some days, but it showed me some important things about how I think. I think it would be good to do this with a small notebook and pencil. I found myself thinking of the same things several times, which made me think about treating those things more specially. Overall, it was a good exercise.”

Second place ($75) goes to Petra with, “I can’t believe I’m at day 22 already.  I’m not sure if this exercise made me a happier person, but it has gotten me to reflect and appreciate what (and who) I have and my surroundings.  Looking at my entries (yes, I kept track of them), I do notice patterns of the things I value most and that give me joy and gratitude.  These are: family, nature, a job that I enjoy, relationships, and anything that makes my life a little easier or enjoyable.  Thank you for providing this challenge to your readers.”

Third place ($50) goes to Lynda, who said, “I enjoyed this challenge. It wasn’t very hard. I noticed that when I was entering the giveaways each day, it helped me reflect on my day. But I didn’t really notice a change in my attitude.”

I’d like to thank everyone who participated, even if it was for just one day.  You’ve made my month brighter.

 

Sammy’s Story, Part 2

For those of you not following along, please read the previous installment of Sammy’s Story.  The short version is that we’re thinking about helping someone launch a small business and put “at risk” teenagers and young adults to work.

Sammy called me a couple of days ago.  He wanted to discuss working for some of the tools and toys he saw at my mother-in-law’s house and he said he had something to show us.   When I picked him up, he had a leather portfolio-style notebook and looked excited.

When we got to the house, he opened up his notebook and handed me two pieces of paper.   He said that the idea of being able to launch his business had him so excited that he couldn’t not do anything.   He had handed me a landscaping plan and materials list for fixing my mother-in-law’s yard.

We talked about the landscape plan, the business plan, and my wife’s old skateboard, then he had to go.   Last night was one of the nights he met “his” kids at a community center.

On the way to the community center, we stopped by his apartment, because he wanted to show me pictures of his kids, and his grandkids, and his foster mother.   He told me about his mother dying when he was 13 and his father dropping him with an aunt before disappearing.   He was nearly in tears when he asked how some strange white guy could see more in him than his own family did.

He told me about how the money he made working with me had put food on the table of the 14 year old he brought with–a 14 year old who is eager to work more.  It paid the weekly rent for one of the other workers and contributed to the rehab of Sammy’s ex.   The little bit we’ve done has already touched the lives of dozens of people.

We talked about the way he hates rap.  Not because of it’s musical value, but because it’s building a culture that considers women to be nothing but “bitches and hoes” while convincing kids that the only way they can improve their situation is to land a recording contract.  Those are the kids he wants to teach to take care of themselves and build their own lives.

Finally, he asked me for my honest opinion about his landscaping plan.

I said, “Sammy, that clinched the deal.  I was leaning towards helping you, but now it’s definite.  I know you’re serious, so we’re going to make this happen.”

He’s got no idea how to handle taxes, payroll, or insurance, and he has no tools, but we’re going to jump in with both feet.

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Transparency

A friend–let’s call him me–recently had a bit of a hangup with a business relationship.

On a long-term project, there were some unavoidable setbacks.   My friend decided to work through them, hoping to get everything back up to speed…before the customer noticed.

It’s a funny thing, but customers like to look at status reports on long-term projects.   A couple of months after the biggest problem, the customer called my friend wanting an in-person status update.   They told him to be prepared for an uncomfortable conversation.

Crap.

Now, the setbacks were truly unavoidable.   Things came up that were entirely outside the realm of my friend’s control, but he had to deal with them anyway.    When the problems were laid out in front of the customer, it went from uncomfortable to a discussion on how to expand the business relationship.

Transparency for the win.

Bad things happen.  Anybody who doubts this is clearly not equipped to deal in the adult (that’s adult in the “grown-up” sense, not adult in the “porn” sense) world.  Companies know that bad things can happen to derail a project.  They are going to be more interested in how you get the project back on track than anything else.

When things go wrong, be open about it.   Your customers/family/friends/one-night-stands will appreciate not having to wonder what’s going on.

 

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