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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Multiracial Skinhead Love Triangle

Finance, Life

“Honey, here on national television, in front of a live studio audience, I’ve got a secret I’d like to share. You’re not our child’s mother. I’ve been sleeping with the milkman. And the goat. Your mom is the star of my new adult website. With the goat. And the milkman. I’ve got three other families, in three other cities. I lost the house to my gambling addiction. Those sores? Herpesyphiligonoritis. I got it from the foreign exchange student we hosted before I moved her to Dubuque and married her. The goat gave her away. The milkman cried. Oh, and I wore your panties to the Illinois Nazi reunion. I know how much you hate Illinois Nazis. But I still love you. And your sister. Especially your sister. She does that thing with her tongue….”

Why would anyone go on national television to share things like that?

More interesting: why would anybody stay on stage after hearing that?

Stay tuned.

I have this friend. He bought a couple of cars. He’s got some issues with money, partially revolving around a need to keep his assets below a certain threshold. So he put the cars in his girlfriend’s name. I know, it’s slightly crooked, but that makes the story more fun.

They broke up.

Recently, she called him to say she was suing him for the cars. She wanted them. She wanted to hurt him. She was mean. Somehow that turned into them agreeing to settle the case on Judge Joe Brown, on national television.

My friend spoke with the show’s producer, then last week, he was flown to California and put up in a hotel for a couple of days. When he arrived at the TV studio, he was informed that it wasn’t Judge Joe Brown, but a new show that will start airing in the fall called, The Test. According to CBS, The Test “is a one-hour conflict resolution talk show that will use lie detector and DNA tests to settle relationship and paternity disputes among the guests.” Coincidentally, CBS also owns Judge Joe Brown.

My friend got on stage with Dr. Phil’s son, Jay McGraw, and was accused of cheating on his girlfriend and stealing her identity. Lie detectors. Yelling. Accusations.

Why did he stay?

He wasn’t given his return plane ticket until they were done filming.

When he was done, they handed him a voucher for cab fare and the itinerary for his return flight. Until then, he had no other way to get home.

That’s why people stay on stage. It’s probably also why none of those shows ever have people with money of their own; they can find their own way home in a pinch.

Interesting side note: The show paid $200 and booked the cheapest possible return flight, with a 6 hour layover.

Festival of Frugality #278: The Pure Peer Pressure Edition

Misc

Welcome to the Festival of Frugality #278: The Pure Peer Pressure Edition. If everyone else was jumping off of a cliff, would you do it, too? Maybe not, but what happens if you surround yourself with people who hold the same values as you and are striving for personal growth in the same way? Peer pressure doesn’t have to be negative.

“Peer pressure is not a monolithic force that presses adolescents into the same mold. . . . Adolescents generally choose friend whose values, attitudes, tastes, and families are similar to their own. In short, good kids rarely go bad because of their friends.” – Laurence Steinberg

Shameless plug: If you like what you see, please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS or follow us on Twitter. All your friends are doing it.

Editor’s Picks:

Dinks Finance shows us a few ways to negotiate your mortgage fees. Take a few minutes to read this post before you get a mortgage.

Money Ning reminds us that everyone needs a crappy job early in their working life.

Personal Finance by the Book is leading the fight against the 100,000 mile mindset.

Free Money Finance shows several ways to have fun dates on the cheap. My secret is to make it look “creative” and “unique” instead of “cheap”. You don’t have to cave to the pressure of “expensive” to have a good time.

“Most literature on the culture of adolescence focuses on peer pressure as a negative force. Warnings about the “wrong crowd” read like tornado alerts in parent manuals. . . . It is a relative term that means different things in different places. In Fort Wayne, for example, the wrong crowd meant hanging out with liberal Democrats. In Connecticut, it meant kids who weren’t planning to get a Ph.D. from Yale.” – Mary Kay Blakely

The Best of the Rest:

Budgeting in the Fun Stuff talks about my favorite tax-funded institution: the Library. I’ve easily save thousands of dollars since I started using the library consistently.

Babies are undeniably expensive. Squirrelers provides some tips on limiting the early expenses.

“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” – Author Unknown

Wealth Pilgrim shows how his daughter discover the secret to saving 80% on college costs. The trick isn’t just going to a state school, but what you do when you get there.

ptMoney shares some copy-cat recipe sites. I love making copy-cat meals with better quality ingredients for half the price.

“Every society honors its live conformists, and its dead troublemakers.” – Mignon McLaughlin

Magical Penny recommends tracking your net worth. Mint makes that easy to do.

Smart Wallet talks about going cash-only and the benefits of credit cards. I am currently cash-only, but plan to transition to a good rewards card when all of the debt is gone.

Simple Life in France discusses radical simplicity and frugality in relationships.

“There’s one advantage to being 102. There’s no peer pressure.” – Dennis Wolfberg

I’m a bit of a foodie and more than a bit cheap, so when Not Made of Money talks about creative uses for some we stock up on, I’m listening.

Wanderlust Journey explains the Carnival Cruise loyalty program. I’ve been on exactly one cruise and enjoyed it quite a bit. It’s not the best method of travel for all possible destinations, but I can’t think of a better way to spend a couple of weeks in the Caribbean.

Beating Broke just saved a ton of money by switching to…wait, wrong venue. Read how they saved money on a remodel. Don’t be afraid to use your social capital–the skills of the people who care about you.

“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” – Anatole France

If you’ve got kids who are planning to play an instrument, you’ll want to pay attention to Budgets are Sexy‘s ideas on saving money on musical instruments.

Free From Broke talks about the hidden costs of home ownership. A home is a never-ending money sink.

“Peer pressure has many redeeming qualities. It is the pressure of our peers, after all, that gives us the support to try things we otherwise wouldn’t have.” – Bill Treasurer

Suburban Dollar explains Swagbucks.

Money Help for Christians shares some tips to save money. I particularly enjoyed the coupon walk-through link.

Provident Planning talks about someone living happily on $7000 per year. I can’t imagine making it on that.

A “Normal” person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, “Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray.” – Alan Sherman

Final plug: If you enjoyed yourself, don’t forget to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS or follow us on Twitter. All your friends are doing it. The coolest ones are even fans of LRN on Facebook.

Money Problems – Day 2: What’s Going Out?

Finance

Today, I continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

On this, day 2 of the series, you need to gather all of your bills: your electric bill, your mortgage, the rent for your storage unit, everything. Don’t miss any.

Go ahead, grab them now. I’ll wait.

Did you remember that thing that comes in the plain brown wrapper every month? You know, that thing you always hope your neighbors won’t notice?

Now, you’re going to sort all of the bills into 5 piles.

Pile #1: These are your monthly bills. This will probably be your biggest pile, since most bills are organized to get paid monthly. this will include your credit cards, mortgage(do you rent or buy?), most utilities and your cellphone.

Pile #2: Weekly expenses. When I look at my actual weekly bills, it’s a small stack. Just daycare. However, there are a lot of other expenses to consider. This stack should include your grocery bill, gas for your car, and anything else you spend money on each week.

Pile #3: Quarterly and semiannual bills. I’ve combined these because there generally aren’t enough bills to warrant two piles. My only semi-annual bill is my property tax payment. Quarterly bills could include water & sewer, maybe a life insurance policy and some memberships.

Pile #4: Annual bills. This probably won’t be a large pile. It will usually include just some memberships and subscriptions.

Pile #5: Irregular bills. The are some things that just don’t come due regularly. In our house, school lunches and car repairs fall into this category. We don’t have car problems often, but we set money aside each month so our budget doesn’t get flushed down the drain if something does come up.

Now that you have all of your expenses together, you know what your are on the hook for. Next time, we’ll address income.

Things You Should Buy Online to Save Money

Finance

Article written by money supermarket.

Sometimes the price you pay in-store for a product or service can change dramatically if you find the same product online, and in most cases the price in-store can be considerably higher. There’s nothing worse than getting home from a shopping trip thinking you have a bargain, until you realise that you could have saved a lot more had you have waited until you got home. Here are a few examples of things you should buy online to save money:

DVD’s and Blu Rays

All movies, whether on DVD or Blu Ray format, are generally cheaper if bought online, it’s a fact that I have learned over the years. I’ve always found that searching the sites of film selling giants Amazon and Play, I can always find a movie that little bit cheaper and some considerably so. There are also some websites such as dvdpricesearch that compare prices of all of the big merchants for you; it’s a great way to save time and money.

Flights and Holidays

In my opinion, the day of buying flights face to face is slowly on the decline, I seem to find considerably cheaper prices by searching online at home. I think the main reason for this is that, travel or holiday agents just do what we do, they search online for the best prices, and unless they have any exclusive deals then they will just be getting the same prices as us. I tend to use some online travel comparison websites that again do the searching for you; however, some work better than others so make sure you do your research.

Books

I always purchase books online, whether in the standard physical format or in the form of an e-book. Books are just one of those things that always seem to be cheaper, with the likes of Amazon and Borders available online and offering fantastic discounts. There are also many websites that sell niche or rare books online that can be considerably cheaper than going direct to a book seller.

Auto Insurance

Auto insurance is one of those things that we all hate purchasing, but if you want to drive your vehicle on the road, then by law we have to spend our hard earned cash on it. Getting your auto insurance online can save you a lot of money. Using price comparison sites, you only have to fill in one form as if you’re applying for one quote, you will then be provided with a list of pricing options available to you.

Cell Phones

Whether you are just buying a handset or if you’re looking for a monthly cell phone price plan, I always seem to find better deals online than I can in-store. Of course in-store you have the ability to try and haggle but I’ve found that the deals I get offered are never as good as those that I can find online. Online you can also search by provider website which is another great way to save money, and it would take you a lot of time to visit each store!

Jason’s note: I shop online a lot. I buy things that most people don’t realize are available online. An interesting counterpoint question: What should you buy in-person to save money?

The Luxury of Vacation

Finance, Parenting

This was a guest post I wrote last year to answer the question posed by the Yakezie blog swap, “Name a time you splurged and were glad you did.”

There are so many things that I’ve wanted to spend my money on, and quite a few that I have. Just this week, we went a little nuts when we found out that the owner of the game store near us was retiring and had his entire stock 40% off. Another time, we splurged long-term and bought smartphones, more than doubling our monthly cell phone bill.

This isn’t about those extravagances. This is about a time I splurged and was glad I did. Sure, I enjoy using my cell phone and I will definitely get a lot of use out of our new games, but they aren’t enough to make me really happy.

The splurge that makes me happiest is the vacation we took last year.

Vacations are clearly a luxury. Nonessential. Unnecessary. A splurge.

When we were just a year into our debt repayment, we realized that, not only is debt burnout a problem, but our kids’ childhoods weren’t conveniently pausing themselves while we cut every possible extra expense to get out of debt. No matter how we begged, they insisted on continuing to grow.

Nothing we will do will ever bring back their childhoods once they grow up or—more importantly—their childhood memories. They’ll only be children for eighteen years. That sounds like a long time, but that time flies by so quickly.

We decided it was necessary to reduce our debt repayment and start saving for family vacations.

Last summer, we spent a week in a city a few hours away. This was a week with no internet access, no playdates, no work, and no chores. We hit a number of museums, which went surprisingly well for our small children. Our kids got to climb high over a waterfall and hike miles through the forest. We spent time every day teaching them to swim and play games. Six months later, my two year old still talks about the scenic train ride and my eleven year old still plays poker with us.

We spent a week together, with no distractions and nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company. And we did. The week cost us several extra months of remaining in debt, but it was worth every cent. Memories like we made can’t be bought or faked and can, in fact, be treasured forever.