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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

Christmas for the Destitute

Finance, Parenting

First, my disclaimer:  I’m not destitute.

However, I’m trying to spend Christmas acting like I am a pauper.

Why, with small children and beautiful-and-more-than-deserving wife, would I want to deprive my family of a bountiful holiday?

Before we get into the reasons for being a horrible grinch bent on depriving my children of their god-given right to rampant consumerism, let’s look at the Philosophy of Destitution.

The primary reason to pull back and tone it down is basic frugality.  Excessive anything is not frugal. I am training my children–and for that matter, my wife and my self–in the finer arts of personal responsibility and frugality.   Accumulating debt for a fleeting holiday is insane.  If we can’t afford to buy it, we certainly can’t afford to give it.   Anything else would be setting a bad example and children learn best by example.

Another piece of the Philosophy of Destitution(when I read this word, I hear a deep, booming voice in my head, like a 30s radio superhero voiceover)  is “green”.    I consider myself a conservationalist rather than an environmentalist, so don’t read too much into that color.  I try to be responsible, instead of destructive and I try to avoid being wasteful.  Toys that won’t be played with are wasteful. A garbage can full of packaging for those same toys costs money.  It is much cheaper to avoid the landfill here.

Back to “Why”. Why would I be willing to deprive my family?

[Read more…] about Christmas for the Destitute

Credit Card Pitfalls You Have To Avoid

Business

The idea of a credit card is appealing. You don’t have to have the money to pay for things; you can just use the card. It creates instant gratification and you start to get used to the idea of getting what you want when you want it. Unfortunately, this can be a disaster waiting to happen.

If you get in over your head and begin to negatively affect your credit rating, it is not the end of the world. By looking at things like bad credit credit cards at Money Supermarket you can start to make things right again. Watch out for these pitfalls that could cause you to stumble into a bad credit card situation.

 Enticing Rewards

You see the commercial or advertisement online and reward credit cards make it seem like you will be drowning in points that can be redeemed for airline miles or gift cards. Initially, you may think that this is a great reason to sign up for a card. Then, you begin to use the card often in order to earn points.

The problem comes when you start spending just to get the rewards and you can’t or don’t make payments to return to a zero balance every month. You may end up with a hefty annual fee on top of everything else. Don’t let the temptation of getting a reward create a problem with your credit score.

 Maxing Out the Credit Card

When someone hands you $5,000, you will be tempted to spend it. Why not enjoy the new money? The problem is that a $5,000 credit card balance needs to be paid back. Don’t fall into the trap of spending the entire line of credit immediately.

If you do run into some financial difficulty or you really need a credit card for something, you will have nothing left to use. If you go over the limit, you can be sure that there will be some fees that come along with it. Use it wisely. Charge something and pay it off.

 Skipping a Payment or Paying Late

Once you have a credit card, everything is going to affect your credit score. If you miss a payment or pay late, you can be sure that this is going to show up against you. Aside from the damage to your credit score, most credit cards come with a substantial penalty in the form of a late fee that gets tacked onto the next payment.

Always pay on time. Pay in early if possible. Keeping up to date with your credit card will show up positively on your credit rating.

 When Problems Arise

Even if you do your best to avoid these pitfalls, sometimes financial problems can be unavoidable. An unexpected emergency requires you to max out the card. You run into a problem at work and lose your main source of income.

If you see that your credit is starting to decline, it is always possible to build that score back up. Start over using bad credit credit cards to make a positive impact on your credit score. With this scenario, you get an opportunity to once again avoid these pitfalls and improve your credit.

Black Friday

Finance

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Today being the biggest shopping day of the year, I thought I’d get in the game.

First, instead of helping you spend money, I’m going to help you save it.  As I’ve mentioned before, I am a big fan of INGDirect.   They make it easy to create savings accounts for specific savings goals and they have a decent interest rate.  I’ve never had a problem with any of my accounts.

For Black Friday(through Sunday!), they are offering the following:

  • Earn $103. Open Electric Orange November 26th – 28th, and make a total of 7 purchases using your Electric Orange Card or Person2Person Payments (or any combination of the two) within 45 days.
  • Open a Kids Savings Account November 26th – 28th and we’ll(ING) put a $25 bonus into your new account.
  • Use your Electric Orange Debit MasterCard® at least one time from  8:00 AM ET, November 26th – 7:59 PM ET, November 26th, and you’ll be automatically entered into the 100% Cash Back Giveaway.
  • Open a 36-month IRA CD with ING DIRECT November 26th – November 28th and get 2.00% Annual Percentage Yield (APY). Ask them about work at home moms and dads spousal IRA.
  • Apply online November 26th – 28th for Easy Orange or the Orange Mortgage or call a Mortgage Specialist at 1-866-327-4599 and get up to $2,000 off closing costs. If your costs are less than $2,000, you pay nothing.
  • 25% rebate on Sharebuilder trades that execute today or Monday.

Click here to open an account with the best bank to ever hold my money.

Now, to help you spend some money.

All of my websites are hosted by HostGator.   I’ve never had noticeable downtime or any technical problems.  The one issue I had that couldn’t be controlled by their interface was fixed by technical support in minutes.  Not hours, minutes.  They are having an amazing deal today.   From 5AM to 9AM CST, all of their products are 80% off.    The rest of the day, it’s all 50% off.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t apply to existing customers, but if you are looking for a website host, paying $35 for 3 years of hosting can’t be beat.

Click here to open an account.

Building 5 Bad Habits

Finance

Meth powder hexagon
Meth powder hexagon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Good habits are boring. I mean, yes, they will help you succeed and provide some security, but so what? Bad habits are fun. Except meth. Meth is a bad habit that is decidedly not fun. Don’t do meth.  Seriously.

There are so many entertaining bad habits that I couldn’t possibly cover them all. I’m going to stick to the bad financial habits that will make your life more exciting.

  1. Break your budget. A budget constrains you, keeps you from buying the things you want and traveling to distant, exotic places when you know you can’t afford the trip.   The best way to build this habit is to not only avoid tracking your expenses, but also avoid tracking what you actually spend.  If you don’t know what you owe or what you’ve spent, the end of every month is an adventure!
  2. Impulse shopping. For the next week, I want you to go to your favorite store every day.  Buy the first thing you see that makes you want to hum.  Every day.  Don’t worry about being able to afford it.  That’s what credit is for, right?  Bonus points for buying it on the “no interest for a year, then we screw you” plan.   I’m sure you’ll be making more money by the time the bill is due.   You could get lucky and have a rich relative die and leave you a fortune.   That’s like winning the lottery twice, because you won’t have to buy him Christmas cards anymore.
  3. Meals on the go. Cooking is a drag.  Besides, who wants to slap a slice of meat and cheese on a couple slices of bread, when you can get a drive-through case of the Aztec two-step for $5.    Did you know that the big yellow ‘M’ stands for “Montezuma?”   On your way to practice impulse shopping, pick up some lunch.   For your money, you’ll get less convenience, more additives, and the opportunity to gamble on the lunch employees caring as much about cleanliness as you do.  It’s a win for everyone!
  4. Ego shopping. Actual accomplishments and improvement are hard.  It’s much better to wrap up your sense of self-worth in the smartest phone, the shiniest car, or the Gucciest purse.   Allowing Mastercard to finance your self-esteem guarantees that your next smile is just a shopping trip away.   Who needs the hassle of dealing with things that matter?   After your impulse purchase, buy something fancy!  Show your friends that you are not only a more discerning consumer, but also that you are better than they are. Watch them turn green with envy.  When they shrug and tell your that their phone has the one feature they need–the ability to ring when called–know that it is envy speaking.
  5. Expensive Vacations. You need to relax.   I know how hard it is lugging that iBlackPhoneP(a/o)doid in and out of the designer sportscar with all-leather cow interior and big, brown baby seal-eyes for headlights.   It’s work.    Back and forth buying crap you don’t need to fuel your ego, dodging vicious calls from creditors and having to Dine-N-Dash every time a friend invites you out for dinner makes a dude tired. Take a week in Europe to calm your thoughts.   You deserve it, even if you don’t actually have the money for it.   Isn’t Great-Uncle Horace sick?

What are your favorite bad habits?

Update:  This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

20 Lazy Ways to Save Money

Finance

Image by Paul Vivier via Flickr

Investopedia ran a post on 20 lazy ways to save money.  I thought it was worth sharing my take on the post.

1.  Schedule automatic payments. I do this obsessively.   I run all of my regular payments through my bank’s online bill-pay.  I think there are 2 bills that get paid manually; 1 is a quarterly payment, the other is due annually.

2.  Eat your groceries. According to the post, Americans–on average–throw away 15% of the groceries they buy.   I totally believe that.  We don’t throw away that much, but it’s still too much.  It tends to be the fresh vegetables, which we eat as side dishes instead of the main course.   We need to switch that mindset, both to use the vegetable efficiently and to eat healthier.

3.  Bundle services. I refuse.  I hate the idea of having a single point of failure for multiple systems.  If the power goes out, I lose my cable, but I keep the phone.   If, for some reason, I can’t pay my phone bill, I don’t lose my internet connection.   I like keeping these things separated.

4.  Pay off credit card. Hardly a lazy process, but otherwise…duh!

5. Mark your calendar. I use my Google Calendar as obsessively as I use automatic payments.  I put in reminders, grocery lists, or anything else I need to know at a specific time.

6. File your taxes on time. I just helped a friend dig out of this mess.   I pay as soon as all of my paperwork is delivered.   The IRS doesn’t give up and they have leverage, including garnishment and even jail.

7. Roll it over. When you change jobs, take your 401k with you.  Don’t leave it behind like a series of red-headed stepchildren.   It’s too easy to lose track of the accounts.   Don’t cash it out!  I made that mistake once and lost far too much to taxes.  A rollover doesn’t count against your 401k contribution limits.

8. Switch credit cards. If you can a good balance transfer offer that’s followed by a better interest rate than you currently have, use it.  But don’t forget to pay attention to the transfer fees.  Do the math.  If it costs you $500 to transfer the money, how much interest do you have to save to make it worthwhile?

9. Use your privileges. If you have a AAA membership, use it.  It gives you a discount on hotels, oil changes, car rentals, and more.   Read the paperwork. Former military gets a ton of random discounts, too.  Ask.

10. Rent instead of buy. Renting can save you money over buying, if it’s something you’ll only use once, but borrowing is free.

11. Buy instead of rent.  Rent-a-center is a ripoff, but they can’t even legally operate here.  If you’re going to use something regularly, buy it.

12. Ask. I love to call up every company I give money to and ask if there’s a way I can give them less.   Outside of chain stores and restaurants I almost always ask for a lower price.

13. Just say no. Extended warranties are generally a waste of money.   However, if I can’t afford to replace the item, I do get the warranty.  On my car, I brought it in for a full inspection and repair a few weeks before the warranty ran out and made all of that money back.    We are slowly building a warranty fund to replace the need for any future extended warranties.

14. Have the awkward conversation. We tried giving gift-giving the axe, but nobody enjoyed that.  Now, we cap the gifts at $20 and do a round-robin type of gift.  $40 for gifts keeps 10 adults happy.

15. Eat at home. Generally, I can cook almost anything better at home, but I really do enjoy eating out and trying new restaurants.  We just keep it from being a regular expense.

16. Balance your checkbook. What a waste of time!    With automatic payments and cash for all of the discretionary budget items, I balance the checkbook once a month.

17. Stick with your bank. Either use your own bank’s ATM network, or use a bank that refunds ATM fees.  I only take out cash on the first of the month, for the entire month and I do that with a teller, so this is never an issue for us.

18. Use your TV. Cable movie packages instead of a video membership?  Really?  That’s a horrible idea.

19. Quit those bad habits. I quite smoking, saving $200 a month.  I don’t drink much and I’m working on fixing my eating habits.   Vices are fun, and this is certainly not a fun way to save money.

20. Forget the pet. There is no way this would fly at my house.  we have 5 cats, 2 gerbils, and a dog.   Our renter has 2 pythons.  We’re a flippin’ zoo and honestly, mess and cost aside, we all like it that way.

How do you stand on these ideas?