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What motivates me financially?

This post was originally written for a blog swap run by the Yakezie personal finance blog network to answer the question “What motivates you to be financially responsible?“

This may not be the most original motivation, but I am financially motivated by my family. Before I had kids, I didn’t care much about money or “stuff”. My goal was to sell everything I owned and backpack Europe. Yeah, it’s a bit cliché, but that’s the way it is. I was also considering trying to live out of saddlebags while touring the country 1000 CCs at a time.

Now, I’ve got so many other considerations. Four, to be exact. A wife and three kids certainly change your perspective. If it doesn’t, you’ve got flaws that I can’t help you with.

When my family started, it was a huge wake-up call. Suddenly, I had responsibilities (cue scary music). Overnight, I had things to care about that didn’t involve a party, or instant gratification, or, well, me. Merlin the Stork floated down, waved a wand and Poof! I was a grown-up. This may not sound like much of a shock, but my wife and I had baby #1 when we were 20. Adulthood was still pretty new to us, and suddenly we’re parents?

As a grown-up, with three precious little monsters dependent on me for absolutely everything, I had to start worrying about their security. This was more than just keeping them physically safe. I’ve had to manage their emotional health, their physical needs, and their entertainment. They rely on me (and my wife!) for everything. How could I live with myself if I couldn’t put food on the table and a roof over their heads? Winter boots? Clothes without holes? Visits to the doctor? Have you ever noticed how much kids cost, even without considering the Japanese fad games and Barbie dreamhouses? Having a kid is like cutting a hole in your wallet and holding it over a blender nestled comfortably in a roaring fire fueled by napalm.

Then, after I’ve got them clothed, fed, sheltered, and entertained, I have to teach them how to be real people. I’m of the opinion that children in their natural state are little more than wild animals. Generally cuter, but that’s about it. It’s a parent’s job to train that ravenous little beast into an acceptable, successful person. Part of that consists of teaching the little brats how to start paying for their own clothes, food, shelter, and entertainment, and how to manage that without becoming a drain on society. Productivity and success can be defined a thousand different ways, but none of them include letting other people pay your way or borrowing money you have no intention or means of repaying. Ultimately, being an adult–being a successful part of society–involves recognizing your responsibilities and living up to them.

Caring for, providing for, and teaching my children the things I know provides me with an irreplaceable opportunity to watch them grow and learn, while giving me a chance to steer that growth. It is, without a doubt, the best, most satisfying, and most difficult thing I have ever done. The pleasure I get from raising my kids reinforces my desire to become the best person I can be.

Really, I just want to be the guy my kids think I am.

Selling Your Car

Finance

: English: Jalopy car in Joshua Tree National Park in Hidden Valley Campground (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When it’s time to replace your car, most people focus on the new car, instead of the old, but that is ignoring real money. Your old car–unless it has disintegrated–still has value. Sometimes, it’s just time to ask yourself, “When should I sell my car?”

When you’re looking to sell your car (like with We Will Buy Your Car), you generally have several options:

Tow & crush. If your car has been wrecked, doesn’t run, or is just old and beat up, you may be stuck with calling a junkyard and accepting $50 for them to pick up your car and crush it for scrap.
Trade it in. This is probably the least hassle, but–other than #1–doesn’t pay well. Dealerships are willing to pay something under what they will get at a wholesale auction, which is quite a bit less than the blue book value.
Sell it yourself. Now you’re thinking, “He’s going to buy my car! Oh, bother.” It can be a pain, but it’s also the best way to get a decent price for your wheels.

When you sell your car, there are a few things to keep in mind, much like when you sell something on Craigslist.

Don’t be alone. There are bad people in the world, but they don’t like witnesses. Bad things are much less likely to happen if you have company.
Know your price. Specifically, know three price: your dream price, the price that would make you happy, and the absolute lowest price you are willing to accept. Make sure you figure these numbers out ahead of time. Know what you are comfortable with before it comes time to close the deal.
Check IDs. The buyer is going to want to test-drive your car. That’s fine, but you want to make sure you know who is driving off in your car. “Officer, Sumdood took my car. He was wearing jeans.” That won’t get your car back.
Clean it up. Get the car detailed before you show it to a potential buyer. A sparkling-clean car will almost always bring in a few hundred extra dollars. It’s well worth the expense.

Following this plan should make the sale go as smoothly as possible and bring you the most possible money.

Readers, what have you done to dispose of an old car?

This is a sponsored post written to provide some insight into the world of used car retail.

Sunday Roundup: Balancing Fun and Frugality

Misc

Friday was another Yakezie Blog Swap. The topic was: “Balancing Frugality and Fun.”

Here is the list of articles:

Latisha Styles shares her story about going on a shopping diet at Narrow Bridge.

Joe gives us 10 different ways we can have fugal fun in almost any city at Prairie Eco-Thrifter.

The other Joe shares with us his memories of time with his Grandpa growing up and how he taught him to have fun at Mom’s Plans.

Ashley reminds us to spend those dollars where they will give us the most happiness at My Personal Finance Journey.

I shared that making memories is what counts at Financially Consumed.

Denise tells us that any kind of fun is possible with a little planning, determination, and work at Money Cone.

Money Cone shares with us how they have become a latte sipping frugal Mac user at The Single Saver.

Jacob shares with us 5 different techniques we can use to balance frugality and fun at Money Talks Coaching.

Eric at Narrow Bridge shared 3 ways he’s found to have fun on the frugal at Retire by 40.

Hunter tells us why corporate bankruptcy isn’t fun at all at Live Real Now.

Melissa shares her story of how her family balances frugality and fun atSmart Money Focus.

Eric defines the ultimate frugalite and the ultimate spender over at Financial Success for Young Adults.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked

Selling Your Car was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

The Evils of a Reverse Mortgage was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Shattering Taboos

Finance, Relationships

ta·boo

-adjective

1. proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable: taboo words.

There is a societal prohibition against talking about money, especially actual money. Talking about a deal, or the hypothetical bundle you lost on the Super Bowl is ok, but discussing how much money you make, or how much you have saved for retirement is almost as bad as talking about sex. In many social circles, it’s far worse.

Money is one of the primary causes of divorce, second only to infidelity. It can cause myriad problems, including anxiety, depression, paranoia, impotence, impulse spending, gambling, social isolation, suicide, and murder. Yet even therapists hesitate to discuss finance with their patients.

Occasionally to the chagrin of my family and friends, I’ve almost completely destroyed that taboo in myself. After spending a year and a half writing about everything I do financially, I’ve found myself with very little hesitation to talk about my finances in real life. I don’t mind discussing my credit card debt, my projections on paying off my mortgage, or almost anything else, with the exception of my salary. I’ve never seen anything good come from coworkers comparing paystubs. Somebody always gets hurt feelings.

Aside from that one exception, I think it’s healthy to talk about money. How many kids launch into adulthood financially clueless because their parents wouldn’t talk about money? How many marriages could be saved if couples would talk about their financial problems before they became financial disasters?

How can you go about breaking down the mental barrier to talking about money? Starting a personal finance blog and writing three to four times per week for a couple of years isn’t a practical solution for everyone.

Start small.

Mention the fact that you have a credit card balance(assuming you do) when you are talking to a friend. Suggest a coworker appeal his property taxes, or offer a couple of tips to help your cousin negotiate her rent.

Most importantly, start having these conversations with your spouse/significant other/life partner. If you can plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, you can certainly plan to discuss one of the most important topics in your life with her. If you can’t, are you really a good fit?

Try it. Break down that taboo. Your life will be better for it.

Are you afraid to talk about money?

The Do-Over

Finance

This post is from Kevin @ DebtEye.com. Kevin is a co-founder @ DebtEye.com, where he helps consumers manages their finances and find the optimal way to get out of debt. . This is guest post is part of a blog swap for the Yakezie, answering the question “If you had one financial do-over, what would it be and why?”.

I usually look on the brighter side of things. There’s never an incident where I wish I could go back in time and change things. Everyone will eventually make mistakes, but it’s up to them to learn from these mistakes and make sure it never happens again. However, if there was one moment in the past I could change, It would be not buying a house straight out of college.

Throughout my college days, I have been fortunate to have saved up enough money for a down-payment on a house. That’s not enough to maintain debt-free living. I worked with several internet gaming companies and acted as an affiliate for them. I saved up around $25,000 and decided to buy a condo with my brother.

I thought it would be cool to own a condo in the city. I was really looking forward to turning this new place in a bachelor’s pad. This was probably the worst decision I’ve made. I always believed that it was better to buy a property instead of renting one, since some of the payment would go towards paying down the loan. Of course, I realized that this wasn’t the smartest of ideas.

Here are some reasons why I regret it:

Property Taxes: Property taxes in Chicago are one the highest in the nation. For a $320,000 property, annual real estate taxes were roughly about $5,800/year. Property taxes usually go up every year, it can be difficult for some people to maintain these payments.
Valuation: Thankfully, the property only decreased 10% in the past 2 years. It’s not as bad as some areas, but the timing to buy a property was poor.
Cost: Buying a property involves more money to spruce up the place. New paint, new appliances, new floors, etc. Most of us won’t get a free appliance from the government. Many homeowners have to put in extra care of the property, so when they sell it, it’s still in great condition.

Looking hindsight, I definitely wish I rented instead of owning a home. In this day of age, I think most people can make the clear argument that renting is worthwhile to look into.

Playing For Blood

Parenting

Toys of Christmas Past — Image by brizzle born and bred via Flickr

Kris at Every Tips and Thoughts wrote a post about games and ~~letting her kids win~~ feeling bad about winning. I disagree. This post is an expansion of my comment there.

When we play games in my house, we play for blood. I’ve never let my kids win and they know it. From the first time the kids attempt Memory, they know they’ve got to earn a win against Mom and Dad. They know if they lose, they must do so gracefully. If they pout or cry, they lose game privileges for a while. I demand good sportsmanship, win or lose.

To be clear, my kids are 3, 4, and 11 and they are all held to the same standards of sportsmanship. Win or lose, they will do so gracefully. There will be no temper tantrums when they are Sorry’d and no pouting when the Queen is captured.

It took my son almost 3 years to beat me at chess. When it finally happened, he was almost as proud as I was and still talks about it 5 years later.

It’s not much fun playing games with his friends. They were coddled and expect to win everything. I have to take away game privileges just like I do for my 3 year old. They hate that because we have the coolest board games. Nobody else has games that involve zombies or disembodied brains.

What has the result been?

My kids love playing games. This week, my oldest has been teaching his sisters how to play Life. When he visits his friends, he’s as likely to bring a board game as an electronic game. He’s got a good mind for strategy, and I can’t remember the last time he pouted when I tromped him.

My 4 year old hasn’t mastered gamesmanship yet, but she will. When I threaten to put the game away, she wipes her eyes, and keeps playing, even if her jaw is chattering. She knows what is expected and works to live up to it.

Both of the older kids are competitive. They’ve never had a win handed to them, and they have each had wins they had to work for, and they know how it feels to win and earn it.

The youngest doesn’t care if she wins, she’s just happy to play. In my experience, the competitive gameplay gene doesn’t activate until 4.

In my mind, the real world won’t hand them any wins, so I might as well start teaching them how to work for it now.

How about you? Do you let your kids win, or do you teach them that all games are bloodsports?

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Carnivals I’ve Rocked