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Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

Diana Nyad: Never Give Up

News

Diana Nyad, a 64-year-old endurance swimmer, became the first person to swim the 110 mile distance from Cuba to Key West Florida. Certainly, the environmental factors were in her favor as the sea life did not bother her,

Diana Nyad at TEDMED2011 (Photo credit: Klick Pharma)

the currents stayed friendly, and no storms approached. She swam for over fifty-two hours straight before reaching the coast of Florida.

After her long, treacherous journey across the ocean, her words of advice to others were “I have three messages. One is we should never, ever give up. Two is you never are too old to chase your dreams. Three is it looks like a solitary sport, but it takes a team.” Surely, just as a physical sport requires will-power and endurance not to “throw in the towel” or give up, life also requires this same type of endurance.

We are all running an endurance race of life in which we must preserver when trials arise. In order to succeed in this, we must never look back at past failures, but rather press forward to the reward. Just as people running a foot face are running with intense focus on the goal (to cross the finish line and win the metal), people with purpose are also running this race of life, in which they are looking forward to a reward beyond our human comprehension.

In addition, just as Diana Nyad said that one is never too old to chase his or her dreams, a person should never look at age as a determinant of wisdom or faith in life. This is undoubtedly true in regards to children and their innocent, child-like faith that is unpolluted by experience and unspotted by the knowledge of the evilness that exists all around us in this world.

On the other hand, the older people should not possess a mind-set that limits their ability to stay active in life. As soon as a person determines in his or her head or listens to outside voices telling him or her that he or she cannot do something because of advanced age, he or she has a tendency to live out these thoughts and these thoughts create feelings of defeat. Ultimately, people should keep a child-like faith with an optimistic, determined thought pattern in life. This will surely create better overall mental health and therefore more productivity.

Just as Diana Nyad pointed out that her endurance swim could not have been successfully accomplished without a team, people need positive fellowship in life. When a person is discouraged, having somebody to embrace him or her in a hug and simply offer words of encouragement can greatly leave a positive impact on the soul. When one person is strong in an area, the next person is possibly weak in that same area. We are all unique and have different strengths that we can bring to the community. If everybody shared their time and gifts with their neighbor, this life would be much simpler.

Unfortunately, many “sharks” exist amongst people that are looking for somebody to gnash with their teeth, torture, and devour. It is often said that a shark can “smell fear” and thus responds in a negative matter to fear. Diana Nyad did not focus on the sharks, therefore did not display fear nor was she approached by any dangerous predators. Instead, she focused on the shore, not looking to her right or left. In life, if we do not pay the “sharks” any attention, they will most likely not notice or approach us.

We can learn much from Diana Nyad’s example of her “Never Give Up” endurance swim.

Michael Gergenti: Paying for Paternity

Gossip

Model Michael Girgenti, filed paperwork in Los Angeles County Superior Court alleging that he is the father of Kourtney Kardashian’s son, Mason Disick. According to Kardashian’s lawyer, the three-year old boy is the son of

her boyfriend, Scott Disick, who also fathered her daughter, 13-month old Penelope. Girgenti is requesting DNA testing of Kardashian, Disick and the child, and if it is determined Mason is his son, he is demanding joint custody.

Photo Shoot Meeting

According to the lawsuit, Girgenti met Kardashian during a 2009 photo shoot, where they began a texting relationship. Girgenti claims that Kardashian told him that she and Disick were separated. A report in US Weekly states in a bio of Scott Disick that he and Kardashian split up in February 2009 after two years because of rumours he was cheating. The court documents state that in March 2009 Kardashian and Girgenti had unprotected sex, which is nine months prior to the birth of Mason, who was born in December 2009. Kardashian announced her pregnancy in August 2009, claiming that Disick was the father of the baby.

Kardashian Denial

Lawyers for Kardashian claim that Girgenti’s accusations are “preposterous and an outrageous lie.” Kardashian attorney, Tod Wilson, told E! News that Girgenti has been “selling false and fabricated stories to the tabloids for years about Kourtney Kardashian and her son, Mason. “ Wilson also claims that Girgenti has been seeking payment to publish the court pleading, indicating that Girgenti was more interested in payment for reports of his alleged paternity than actually proving that he was Mason’s father. However, the suit filed in court indicates that Girgenti is seriously seeking proof of the child’s paternity.

Girgenti Claims Resemblance

Court documents also claim that Girgenti tried to reach Kardashian after she announced her pregnancy in August 2009, but she did not return his calls. He claimed he began to consider that he was Mason’s father when he saw photos of the child, stating that the boy resembled him more than he did Scott Disick. Girgenti also stated that Mason looks nothing like his younger sister, Penelope, who is Disick’s child. Months prior to filing the lawsuit, Girgenti wrote to Kardashian, requesting a DNA test, claiming that if there was no response, he would pursue legal action to determine Mason’s paternity. In the letter, Girgenti claimed that his intentions were not to “hurt the family you’ve created,” but that “Mason deserves to know the truth.”

A Los Angeles County judge has set a hearing for the case in late August. At the hearing, the judge could dismiss the case or order DNA tests for Girgenti, Kardashian, Disick and the child. In California, unmarried fathers do not have legal rights or responsibilities until legal paternity is established, and naming a father on a birth certificate may not legally establish who a child’s father is. Since Disick and Kardashian were not married at the time of Mason’s birth, Girgenti may have the legal right to demand a DNA test.

Making the Sale: How to Alienate Your Customers

Business

Have you ever walked into a store only to be instantly surrounded by salespeople trying to sell you whatever their corporate office has decided is the most important thing for them to sell this week?

I remember walking into a big blue electronics store to buy a TV. The beautiful corner-unit entertainment center that perfectly matches my living room will fit–at most–a 32″ screen. Unfortunately, any questions I asked were answered with an attempted upsell to a big screen. I don’t want a fancy TV. I don’t have room for it. It doesn’t fit my needs.

Why do the salespeople persist in strong-arming me into something I can’t use?

Later, I’ll be visiting a couple of potential customers. I know from talking to them that they are expecting a hard sell and a push to sign a contract today.

I don’t do that. I can’t do that.

My goal for these meetings is to find out what these people want, and–more important–what they need. How can I know what they need before I have a chance to sit down and ask them? Even bringing a proposal to the meeting would show that I cared less about them than I do about their checkbooks.

Here’s my checklist of items to bring:

Notebook
Pen
Spare pen
Business card
My winning personality

That’s it.

I can accomplish more with “How can I help you succeed?” than I can with “You really need to buy this from me, today.”

If the high-pressure sales-weasels at the big blue electronics store had been taught that lesson, I may have gone home with a high-end (though smaller) TV, rather than going home to buy online.

Have you ever had a sales-weasel try to convince you that you want something you don’t need or need something you don’t want?

5 Ways to Reduce Temptation and Have a Peaceful dinner

Finance, Life

It never fails: you send the kids off to the salt mine babysitter for the evening, cook a nice dinner and light some candles. Then, just as you sit down, the phone rings.

Now you have 2 choices, you can do like me and ignore the phone if it’s inconvenient to answer or you can ruin a romantic dinner. The telemarketers know that, statistically, you are home at dinner time. They don’t care if you are celebrating an anniversary or just trying to connect with your loved one.

Why not preemptively stop the irritation? While you’re at it, stop the junk mail, too. It’s not as hard as you’d think. It’s a simple, almost free process that will not only eliminate the frustration of pointless calls and sorted junk mail, but will also cut down on the temptation of seeing something shiny to buy.

Here are the four steps to a leaner, greener and romantic dinner-making you:

1. Get on all of the Do Not Call lists.

You can get on the federal list by visiting www.donotcall.gov or calling (888) 382-1222. The tele-sales weasels will have have a month to clear you out of their systems.
If you still get calls–some calls are still allowed, including political calls, non-profit fundraisers, and surveys–they are still required to maintain an in-house do not call list. Tell them to put you on that list.
Many states have a Do Not Call list that is entirely independent of the the federal list. This is redundant, but the more roadblocks you put up, the better you will be.

If you are still getting calls, report them to the FTC at:

Federal Trade Commission
Consumer Response Center
600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20580
1-877-FTC-HELP
www.ftc.gov

2. Opt out of junk mail. The Direct Marketing Association manages a list of people who do not want junk mail. This list only applies to members of the association, but most mass-mailers participate. Go to www.dmachoice.org to enroll. It costs $1 to get on the list and will stop most junk mail for 3 years.

3. Opt out of pre-approved credit card offers. Go to www.optoutprescreen.com to remove your name from the lists generated by the major credit bureaus to sell to marketing firms. You can put a halt to this breed of junk for 5 years or forever.

4. Ask them to stop. If you are getting catalogs from a company with which you have an existing relationship, ask them to knock it off. Virtually every one will stop sending you garbage to ensure a continuing business relationship with you.

5. Guerrilla Warfare. If none of this works, there are still a couple of options.

Keep an airhorn by the phone. They won’t call twice.
Take everything you receive from a company, stuff it all in the prepaid return envelope they helpfully included, and drop it back in the mail. They only get charged for the prepaid envelopes when they are used, so use them up. It’s illegal to alter them to send mail to other people, but it’s not illegal to mail them all of their own garbage. If you cost them enough money, they will eventually back down.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-04-24

Misc

Watching Gamers:Dorkness Rising #
Charisma? Weee! #
Tweeting a dork movie? I'm a bit of a geek. #
We just met and the first thing you do, after boinking a stranger in the presence of the king, is to murder a peasant? #
Every movie needs a PvN interlude. #
Everything's better with pirates. #
Waffles? Recognize. #
The Spatula of Purity shall scramble the eggs of your malfeasance. #
Checkout clerks licking their fingers to separate bags or count change is gross. #
Watching Sparkles the Vampire, Part 2: Bella's Moodswing. #twilight #
@penfed was a waste of money. $20 down the drain to join, wouldn't give a worthwhile limit, so I can't transfer a balance. #
@JAlanGrey It's pretty lame. The first one was ok. This one didn't improve on the original. in reply to JAlanGrey #
RT @tferriss: Are you taking snake oil? Beautiful data visualization of scientific evidence for popular supplements: http://ping.fm/pqaDi #
Don't need more shelves, more storage, more organization. Just need less stuff. #
@BeatingBroke is hosting the Festival of Frugality #226 http://su.pr/80Osvn #
RT @tferriss: Cool. RT @cjbruce link directly to a time in a YouTube video by adding #t 2m50s to end of the URL (change the time). #
RT @tferriss: From learning shorthand to fast mental math – The Mentat Wiki: http://ping.fm/fFbhJ #
RT @wisebread: How rich are you? Check out this list (It may shock you!!!) http://www.globalrichlist.com/ #
RT @tferriss: RT @aysegul_c free alternative to RosettS: livemocha.com for classes, forvo.com for pronunc., lang8.com for writing correction #
Childish isn't an insult. http://su.pr/ABUziY #
Canceled the Dish tonight. #

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