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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

Money Problems – Day 2: What’s Going Out?

Finance

Today, I continuing the  series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances.   The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances.  It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear.  Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days.  That’s not my schedule.  Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us.   Instead, it will run roughly once a week.  To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

On this, day 2 of the series, you need to gather all of your bills: your electric bill, your mortgage, the rent for your storage unit, everything.  Don’t miss any.

Go ahead, grab them now.  I’ll wait.

Did you remember that thing that comes in the plain brown wrapper every month?  You know, that thing you always hope your neighbors won’t notice?

Now, you’re going to sort all of the bills into 5 piles.

Pile #1: These are your monthly bills.  This will probably be your biggest pile, since most bills are organized to get paid monthly.  this will include your credit cards, mortgage(do you rent or buy?), most utilities and your cellphone.

Pile #2: Weekly expenses.  When I look at my actual weekly bills, it’s a small stack.  Just daycare.  However, there are a lot of other expenses to consider.  This stack should include your grocery bill, gas for your car, and anything else you spend money on each week.

Pile #3:  Quarterly and semiannual bills.  I’ve combined these because there generally aren’t enough bills to warrant two piles.  My only semi-annual bill is my property tax payment.  Quarterly bills could include water & sewer, maybe a life insurance policy and some memberships.

Pile #4:  Annual bills.  This probably won’t be a large pile.  It will usually include just some memberships and subscriptions.

Pile #5:  Irregular bills.   The are some things that just don’t come due regularly.  In our house, school lunches and car repairs fall into this category.   We don’t have car problems often, but we set money aside each month so our budget doesn’t get flushed down the drain if something does come up.

Now that you have all of your expenses together, you know what your are on the hook for.  Next time, we’ll address income.

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3 Reasons You Hate Your Budget

Finance

Ice-cream dessert
Image via Wikipedia

One of the first steps in clearing up your financial mess is to set up a budget.    You need to figure out how much money you are making, how much you are spending, and what you can do to keep one of those numbers smaller than the other.   If your income is smaller than your expenses, you’ve got work to do.   If not, yay!

Even if you don’t obsessively cling to your spreadsheets and calculator, you need to spend the time to establish a budget–at least once–to know where you stand.  When you do, you’ll find out it sucks.  With good reason.

1.  It takes too long to set up. Setting up a budget can be a long, drawn-out pain in the butt.   Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be, but you won’t know that until after you make your first budget, then see some fairly drastic changes, and make a second budget.  That one will be easier.    For the first one, just concentrate on making a list of all of you regular bills and how often they are due.    Don’t be surprised when you miss some.   I missed a couple of our quarterly bills.  All told, it took a year to get our budget completely done.

2. It doesn’t lie. Once you have all of your expenses down on paper, you are done hiding.  You can’t tell yourself it’s all puppy dogs and ice cream when you are staring at the giant red pit that is the negative balance of your bad decisions.  Nobody likes the messenger who brings bad news.  When your budget shows you how big the hole is, you are going to hate it.   That’s when it’s time to confront the problem head on and get out of the hole.   Find the problems and rip ’em out.    Cancel the cable, taxidermize the cats, and start buying generic underpants.   It’s time to take an honest look at your situation.  If you can’t handle where you are, how are you going to get where you want to be?

3.  It’s not fun. When your friends go out, but you stay home because you’re broke, you will hate it.    Y’ou’re also gonna hate comparing your old cell phone to the iPhone in the hands of the d-bag contemplating bankruptcy.   Like Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else, so that later you can live like no one else.”   Skipping some of the fun now will turn into security later.  When you get to that point, it will have all been worth it.

Why do you hate your budget?

5 Ways to Save Money by Going Green

Finance

This is a guest post by MoneySuperMarket.

Making changes in your daily life that minimize your impact on the environment is the right way to go green. While most people are happy just to know the environment is being protected, there are other benefits to going green. Pick a few of these five lifestyle changes and enjoy having a little extra cash in your pocket as well.

Eat More Meals At Home

Dining out is a fun family experience, but it takes its toll on your wallet and your neighborhood. Restaurants create millions of tons of trash each year. This tip is to the people who already avoid fast food for health reasons, but cooking with your friends and family is a great way to get closer.

Pick Up A Creative Hobby

Some hobbies require a lot more equipment or materials, therefore creating more waste and using more energy. Creative extracurricular activities use inexpensive or recycled goods instead, requiring fewer trips to the sports goods store. Woodcarving can be practiced with scraps from cabinetmakers, while yarn for knitting can come from old sweaters that are no longer worn.

Cool Off The Hot Water Heater

Each water heater features a small screw or dial that allows you to set the perfect temperature. Millions of people have their heaters set higher than necessary, wasting a lot of electricity each year. You can safely turn the heat down to about 125 degrees Fahrenheit, which could net you some hefty annual savings if it is at 140 or 150 degrees right now. Most people never use water for washing or showering that is higher than 130 when mixed in the tap.

Carpool With Co-workers

Driving back and forth to work puts a lot of wear and tear on your vehicle. Rising gas prices has made it even harder to afford a long daily commute by car. Sharing the responsibility among a group of co-workers or fellow parents at your child’s school can help to spread out the costs and the impact on the environment.

Try Your Hand At Gardening

You don’t have to have a green thumb to grow your favorite herbs in a windowsill pot. Start out easy and try a potted dwarf lime tree or a terracotta planter full of strawberries on the patio. The vegetables you harvest don’t have to contain pesticides. Compare your gardening costs against prices for high-end organic produce at the store. You could save thousands of dollars each year and reduce the damaging effects of large-scale agriculture.

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The Luxury of Vacation

Finance, Parenting

This was a guest post I wrote last year to answer the question posed by the Yakezie blog swap, “Name a time you splurged and were glad you did.”

There are so many things that I’ve wanted to spend my money on, and quite a few that I have.  Just this week, we went a little nuts when we found out that the owner of the game store near us was retiring and had his entire stock 40% off.  Another time, we splurged long-term and bought smartphones, more than doubling our monthly cell phone bill.

This isn’t about those extravagances.  This is about a time I splurged and was glad I did.   Sure, I enjoy using my cell phone and I will definitely get a lot of use out of our new games, but they aren’t enough to make me really happy.

The splurge that makes me happiest is the vacation we took last year.

Vacations are clearly a luxury.  Nonessential.  Unnecessary.  A splurge.

When we were just a year into our debt repayment, we realized that, not only is debt burnout a problem, but our kids’ childhoods weren’t conveniently pausing themselves while we cut every possible extra expense to get out of debt.  No matter how we begged, they insisted on continuing to grow.

Nothing we will do will ever bring back their childhoods once they grow up or—more importantly—their childhood memories.  They’ll only be children for eighteen years.  That sounds like a long time, but that time flies by so quickly.

We decided it was necessary to reduce our debt repayment and start saving for family vacations.

Last summer, we spent a week in a city a few hours away.  This was a week with no internet access, no playdates, no work, and no chores.  We hit a number of museums, which went surprisingly well for our small children.  Our kids got to climb high over a waterfall and hike miles through the forest.  We spent time every day teaching them to swim and play games.   Six months later, my two year old still talks about the scenic train ride and my eleven year old still plays poker with us.

We spent a week together, with no distractions and nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company.  And we did.   The week cost us several extra months of remaining in debt, but it was worth every cent.   Memories like we made can’t be bought or faked and can, in fact, be treasured forever.

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Keep Your Friends Out of Debt

Finance

Local Brick
Image via Wikipedia

If you’re like me, you get a bit evangelical about getting out of debt.  I try to convert spendthrifts and irritate my fellow debtors.   I’m probably pretty annoying at times.   What I’ve learned–or at least pretend to have learned–is the direct approach rarely works.   Hitting someone over the head with a brick won’t convince them of anything, even if it’s a very frugal brick.  Try it sometime.  You may convince them to buy a bigger brick to return the favor, but you won’t convince them to save money.

What can you do?  Your friends want to spend money they don’t have and worse, they want you to come with to spend money you either don’t have or don’t want to spend on bad music and overpriced beer.  Suggest less expensive activities.

If your friends want to catch a movie, suggest a matinee or hitting redbox for a night in.   It may even be worth investing in a projector and screen if movie night becomes a habit.   My couch is certainly more comfortable than the theater seats and my soda is cheaper.

When you are invited to dinner, suggest a potluck or have a barbecue. It’s almost always cheaper to eat in, and cooking together can be a wonderful social activity.   If that’s not practical, use coupons.  Restaurant.com has some amazing deals, but don’t use them without an coupon.  Their default price is a $25 gift certificate for $10.  With a coupon (currently DAD), you can get that same certificate for $3.   That usually means a minimum tab of $35 and mandatory tip of 18%, but it’s still a good savings.  Your $35 meal will cost $19.30 when all is said and done.

[ad name=”inlineleft”]Don’t compete for the coolest gadgets. “I just got an iPod for $300″ should be countered with a receipt for a $20 mp3 player, not an ad for an iPad.   Race to zero, not zeros.

Don’t be ashamed of your frugality.   “I they are laughing you don’t need ’em, cuz they’re not good friends.”   My habits aren’t secret. If I say something isn’t in the budget, my friends know I won’t be doing it.  It’s not up for debate.

Above all, I try to be proactive. I try to suggest cheaper alternatives before the expensive options are on the table.   Having a beer on my deck and watching a movie in my living room is so much cheaper than drinks at a club before a concert.

Update:  This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.