- Getting ready to go build a rain gauge at home depot with the kids. #
- RT @hughdeburgh: "Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist." ~ Michael Levine #
- RT @wisebread: Wow! Major food recall that touches so many pantry items. Check your cupboards NOW! http://bit.ly/c5wJh6 #
- Baby just said "coffin" for the first time. #feelingaddams #
- @TheLeanTimes I have an awesome recipe for pizza dough…at home. We make it once per week. I'll share later. in reply to TheLeanTimes #
- RT @bargainr: 9 minute, well-reasoned video on why we should repeal marijuana prohibition by Judge Jim Gray http://bit.ly/cKNYkQ plz watch #
- RT @jdroth: Brilliant post from Trent at The Simple Dollar: http://bit.ly/c6BWMs — All about dreams and why we don't pursue them. #
- Pizza dough: add garlic powder and Ital. Seasoning http://tweetphoto.com/13861829 #
- @TheLeanTimes: Pizza dough: add lots of garlic powder and Ital. Seasoning to this: http://tweetphoto.com/13861829 #
- RT @flexo: "Genesis. Exorcist. Leviathan. Deu… The Right Thing…" #
- @TheLeanTimes Once, for at least 3 hours. Knead it hard and use more garlic powder tha you think you need. 🙂 in reply to TheLeanTimes #
- Google is now hosting Popular Science archives. http://su.pr/1bMs77 #
- RT @wisebread 6 Slick Tools to Save Money on Car Repairs http://bit.ly/cUbjZG #
- @BudgetsAreSexy I filed federal last week, haven't bothered filing state, yet. Guess which one is paying me and which one wants more money. in reply to BudgetsAreSexy #
- RT @ChristianPF is giving away a Lifetime Membership to Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University! RT to enter to win… http://su.pr/2lEXIT #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: 4 Reasons To Choose Community College Out Of High School. http://ow.ly/16MoNX #
- RT @hughdeburgh:"When it comes to a happy marriage,sex is cornerstone content.Its what separates spouses from friends." SimpleMarriage.net #
- RT @tferriss: So true. "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." – Abraham Lincoln #
- RT @hughdeburgh: "The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them." ~ Frank A. Clark #
Disclosure
I’m not terribly commercial, but I do enjoy making money.
As such, it is safe to assume that any company, entity, corporation, person, place, thing, or other that has a product, service, post, or link has in some way compensated me for said product, service, post or link. That compensation–direct or indirect–may be in the form of money, swag, free trips, gold bullion, smurf collectibles, super-models, or just warm-fuzzies. That list is NOT in order of preferred method of compensation.
To reiterate: If it’s commercial, and it’s here, I’m probably being paid for it.
Saturday Roundup: Evil Dead
- Image via Wikipedia
Last night, my wife and I went to see Evil Dead: The Musical. I’m a die-hard zombie-movie fan, and the Evil Dead Trilogy is among my favorites. I don’t recognize a difference between Candarian demons and zombies, so it still fits the genre.
The musical beats either of the first two movies, hands down. I was rolling. If you are in the Minneapolis area tomorrow, check it out at the Illusion Theater. If you are elsewhere, watch for it. It’s entirely worth the time and money.
Best Posts:
Sometimes, shopping can save you money, but don’t let it get out of hand.
I’ve never had food poisoning, but my wife has. It was unpleasant.
Bacon soda. Yum. No further comment.
Bad marketers. No donut.
Carnivals I’ve been in:
AAA – Save Some Cash was included in the Festival of Frugality.
The Spending Styles of the Rocky Horror Picture Show was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Crack was included in Foodtastic Favorites.
If I missed anyone, please let me know. Thanks for including me!
Funeral Costs: How to Keep it Inexpensive, Without Being Cheap
The average funeral costs $6500. Many people die with absolutely no savings. Even if there is life insurance, it takes weeks to get the money, while a funeral is completed within a week.
Funeral homes have an easy sales pitch. Nobody wants to sully the memory of their loved ones. The tiniest hint of a guilt trip will have most families upgrading to the silk pillow in a second. Here’s a secret: Your loved one doesn’t care. I’m not recommending using garbage bags and a dumpster. By all means, treat your loved ones with care, but don’t go overboard.
Not everyone is comfortable with cremation, and some religions don’t permit it, but it is probably the least expensive way to process a body. It costs approximately $1400 to cremate a body and you can get very attractive urns for under $100. Compare that to a $3500 casket and storage & transportation fees, and–from a strictly monetary standpoint–the choice is clear.
Don’t worry too much about decorating. Flowers aren’t cheap and florists don’t tend to offer discounts to people who aren’t emotionally prepared to negotiate and who are in a time crunch to find the flowers they need. Get a few bouquets for a small display around the casket or urn, and let the rest take care of itself. Many of the guests will bring flowers, so the entrance will soon be decorated for free, and that’s the part that makes the first impression.
Shopping online can save you a lot of money on an urn. Funeral homes will try to sell you a $500 urn, which may include a 1000% markup. If you buy online, you will have to pay for overnight shipping, but that’s a small cost compared to the standard markup. You can also find a huge discount on attractive caskets by shopping outside of the funeral home. Federal law prohibits funeral homes from requiring that you buy a casket from them or charging you a fee for getting one elsewhere.
This may be the most ghoulish part of this article, but you can dig the grave yourself. It’s probably not worth it for a full-size casket, but for an urn, you can save hundreds of dollars. An urn generally only needs to be buried 18 inches deep, as opposed to the 6 feet required for caskets. Just be sure to check with the cemetery and get the burial location right. If you think it’s ghoulish to dig the grave, just picture digging it up. Not fun.
Planning a funeral is never enjoyable, and it’s often expensive. Nothing you do will make it fun, but it is possible to make it affordable.
Have you had to coordinate a funeral? Did you take the funeral director’s recommendations, or did you cut some costs?
Two Reasons to Save And One Reason Not To
I’m a fan of saving money. I’m not doing as much of it as I’d like, but that’s because I’m focusing on killing my final credit card, first. I postpone saving, knowing that it’s
something that I need to do the moment my credit cards are paid off. It won’t wait any longer than that.
Why do I care so much about saving? It’s because I’m risk-averse. If I can avoid risk, I do, in most situations. I don’t want to risk going hungry if I lose my job, and I don’t want to risk eventually(very eventually!) having to fight the cockroaches for the right to drink my fiber supplements.
There are a couple of excellent reasons to save:
1. Peace of Mind. There is a certain calm that comes from having enough savings to weather a few storms. If your car dies when you’re broke, it’s a tragedy. If it dies when you’ve got some cash saved up, it’s a minor inconvenience. Knowing that the vagaries of fate aren’t going to shatter your life against a cliff is a reward all its own.
2. Cheap nursing homes suck. When I get old, I want to live in a comfortable nursing home. One with extended cable, nice beds, and attractive coeds in charge of the sponge-baths. That’s not too much to ask, but I have to save up for it now. Medicaid doesn’t cover homes like that. Those are strictly a private affair. To make that happen, I need to save and invest now, or I won’t be able to enjoy the fruits of my labors then.
And, of course, there is one shining reason not to save:
1. You’re living your life now. Saving everything you’ve got, to the detriment of your current life, isn’t healthy either. Life is short. Do you really want to be curled up in bed, trying to enjoy a sponge-bath, shivering at the regrets you’ve built by denying yourself everything? I’m certainly not suggesting you waste all of your money on coke, hookers, and video games, but it is important to take the time to build some memories, or your final years will be hollow.
You have to find the right balance between your future and your present. Every moment of your life is important, not just the ones that haven’t happened, yet.
How to Build a Business on Cannibalism
Last week, my wife posted on Facebook that she was frustrated with her job hunt.
An hour later, she got a call from someone she hadn’t talked to in 10 years. He wanted to talk about a great business opportunity. He wouldn’t say what it was, but wanted to bring a friend over to discuss it.
Fast forward to last night.
The night my wife agreed to meet with the old friend.
The meeting we forgot about.
So we invited our friend and his friends into the house. We sat down at the dining room table to hear the pitch. Our friend is just getting started so his “friend” delivered the pitch.
While I was waiting for him to explain the business, he was showing us pictures of he and his wife traveling around the country.
Instead of explaining the product, he asked about our most expensive dreams.
Instead of telling us how the marketing worked, he mentioned something about utilizing the internet–and i-Commerce–and talked about changing our buying habits.
Instead of showing us a product, he talked about driving volume and building a team.
There was nothing concrete, but a lot was said to ride on the dreams of people who are frustrated with their income or are living paycheck-to-paycheck.
More than an hour into the presentation, it was revealed that the “product” is a buying portal to allow people to buy Amway products from your personal Amway store.
Freaking Amway.
How do they find your personal Amway store, you ask? I don’t know, because you are supposed to be your own best customer. You make money by buying the products you use anyway, but buy them from Amway. For example, there’s the $10 toothbrush, the $16 baby wipes, or the $38 toilet paper.
For six frickin’ rolls.
Seriously, this stuff is meant to touch my butt once. I don’t need it made from pressed gold.
As for the visual…you’re welcome!
So I sell a kidney to buy enough toilet paper to keep my nether bits clean for a month and I get one point for every $3 I spend. I figure that’s about 50 points per month, given the foot traffic our bathrooms see.
If I hit 100(I think, he didn’t leave the paperwork) points, I get 6%(again, I wasn’t taking notes) back at the end of the next month. For the sake of the math, I’m going to double the number of butts in my house. 100 points means I need to spend $300. That’s 47 rolls of toilet paper. In exchange for this $300–and on top of gold-embroidered silk I now get to flush down the toilet–I’ll earn $18.
I know exactly how much toilet paper I buy right now. Amazon sends me a 48 roll package every other month for $31.42, shipped.
To simplify, Amway is offering me the ability to spend $300 to get $18 plus $31.42 worth of toilet paper. I’m supposed to end my financial worries by turning $300 into $50 every month.
Yay!
[Note to self: Demolish Amway’s business model by starting a company that will let people turn $200 into $50, without the nasty overhead of stocking overpriced crap. A 33% increase in efficiency will make me rich!]
But wait, say the imaginary Amway proponents that I hope aren’t frequenting my site, you’re forgetting the most important part!
Oh really?
There’s also a thing called a “segmented marketing team”. To the rest of the multi-level marketing world, this is known as your downline. If you can con your family and friends into turning their $300 into $50 every month, then help them con their family and friends into turning $300 into $50 every month, you’ll get rich! Amway has apparently figured out a way to share a small fraction of their 600% markup with their victims to make them feel like it’s a business opportunity instead of a robbery.
If I get 9 people in my “business team” and each of them build out their team, I get the coveted title of “Platinum Master” or whatever. All I have to do is sell the souls of 72 people and I can make a ton of money! If each member of my downline turns $300 into $50, Amway will get $18,000. In exchange for delivering those souls, the “average” Platinum Ninja makes about $4500 per month. That’s about $12,000–free and clear–for Amway.
When your business model consists entirely of your sales force doing all of the buying and consuming, it’s not a business model, it’s cannibalism.
