Am I the only one who just noticed that it’s Wednesday? The holiday week with the free day is completely screwing me up.
Just to make this a relevant post:
Spend less!
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Invest!
Wee!
The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
In what could end up being an incredibly expensive divorce, Bruce and Kris Jenner, of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” fame have announced that their separation will be permanent. Reports suggest that the couple had no prenuptial agreement and that 125 million dollars is on the line. In California, anyone who decides to get divorced without a prenup will split assets right down the middle.
Rumors suggest that Bruce wasn’t enthusiastic about his permanent role as sidekick to his wife and that he wasn’t allowed to help with any major decisions impacting the family.
Although a joint media statement from the former couple suggests that the split was “amicable,” it’s difficult to believe that two decades of marriage and a 125 million dollar fortune would just end with a friendly split. What seems clear from rumors and reports about the couple; however, is that there was no specific event which pushed the couple apart.
In their statement, the soon-to-be divorced couple said:
“But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.”
In addition, sources also suggest that the reality television empire won’t come screeching to a halt. Interestingly, soon after the news broke that Bruce and Kris would be separating, Bruce and some of the couple’s children were seen at a golf course. When the family noticed a paparazzi taking a picture from across the green, the Jenner family each flipped the bird to the photographer while each had a huge smile on his or her face.
Interestingly, it seems that Kris was the first to take her wedding ring off after the divorce announcement while Bruce was photographed still wearing his ring.
There haven’t been any reports of infidelity or abuse between the couple and many of the anonymous sources who have come out to offer insight on the divorce have said that the split was a long time in coming. Bruce was already staying at a rental property for several months at the time of the divorce announcement and hadn’t been living inside the Kardashian compound in Calabasas for some time.
I’m on vacation this week and thought it would be nice to post a look back at some of my early posts. These posts are some of my favorites, but were written when there were only 3 or 4 of you paying attention.
Since I know you don’t want to miss anything, here are 5 of my favorite early posts, in no particular order:
1. Cthulhu’s Guide to Finance. I’m more than a bit of a horror geek. Books, movies, or games; all keep me entertained. Over the weekend, I taught my Mom how to play Zombie Fluxx and Gloom. When Cthulhu approached me about writing a guest post, I couldn’t refuse.
2. Birthday Parties Are Evil. It’s hard to remember to be cheap when your little girl is asking for a bowling party. It can run $200 to get a dozen kids an hour of bowling and a bit of pizza.
3. No Brakes. This is a post about why I had a hard time coming to grips with financial responsibility.
4. 4 Ways to Flog the Inner Impulse Shopper. Who can’t love a BDSM-themed personal finance post? Every blog needs a dominatrix mascot, right?
5. Fighting Evil by Phone. In which I share the method of convincing Big Nasty Telephone Company and their Contracted, Soulless Long Distance Provider to leave me the heck alone and stop demanding $800 they refused to admit was their mistake.
About once per quarter, my wife and I have a…I won’t call it a fight. It’s more like she-comes-home-looking-stunning-while-I-make-disapproving-grunting-sounds-while-giving-the-checkbook-dirty-looks.
I hate salons.
$80 for highlights, $30 for a haircut and $15 for eyebrow “shaping”. It’s an afternoon of chemicals and hot-wax torture, for the low, low price of $125 + tip. Frugal it’s not, but that’s an argument I lost long ago.
This weekend, she tried something new.
Beauty school.
For roughly the cost of materials, she got her eyebrows “shaped” and her hair highlighted and cut by a senior student at the beauty school, under the supervision of a licensed beautician/instructor.
It looks good, and she said she had more fun during her appointment than any other salon trip she’s had. I guess there’s something to be said for interacting with someone who isn’t burned out on interacting with the general public.
What does it cost? What normally runs $125 cost just $35. That’s for a $5 cut, $25 highlighting, and $5 wax. That’s a $90 savings or 72% off. Yay!
Other services they offer include:
They also have a “Princess” package that we’re going to use for brat #2’s birthday party next month. It’s an up-do, nail polish, make-up, and tiara for $10 per kid. We’ll take the girls out to get made up all pretty-like, then off to the dollar theater, for a $35 party.
The school my wife visited has more than 90 locations in 21 states, but I’d be willing to be every city big enough to support a Wal-Mart also has a beauty school nearby. They don’t tend to advertise their customer services, so you’ll have to call, but for a 70% discount, it worth spending a bit of time on the phone, isn’t it?
I have two questions for you, dear readers:
Have you ever seen a kid come off a wrestling mat, crying his eyes out because he lost?
Often, that kid will get told to be tough and stop crying.
That’s wrong.
I’m not opposed to teaching kids not to cry under most circumstances, but just after an intense competition, I love it. It’s the best possible sign that the kids was pouring his soul into winning. It means he was trying with everything he had.
It means he is–or will be–a winner.
When a kid, particularly a boy in a tough sport, is crying, you know he’s going to try harder and do better next time.
For all of the “tough guy” ability it takes to succeed as a wrestler, I’ve never seen another wrestler teasing the crier. They’ve all been there. Wrestling is a team sport, but you win or lose a match on your own. When you step out in front of hundreds of people and spend 3 to 6 minutes giving every ounce of everything you have to give, only to find it’s not good enough, you’ll often find you don’t have the final reserve necessary to control your emotions.
This is different than a kid crying because he lost a game, just because he lost. Some kids feel entitled to win anything they do, regardless of the effort they put it. That’s also wrong.
Crying at a loss is okay after putting in maximum effort and full energy, not because the dice went the wrong way.
Have you ever watched someone go nuts after they have kids?
I mean, even after the I-haven’t-slept-more-than-20-minutes-in-a-row-for-3-months stage of babydom?
These people dedicate their lives to their kids. They sacrifice all of their hopes and dreams and focus on the brats. They can’t have a date night because little Sally might get lonely without mommy and daddy. Can’t have a hobby because Johnny’s on the traveling soccer team. Can’t get laid because it’s a family bed and that’s kind of creepy when the kids are right there.
Everything for the kids.
As they grow, it gets worse. You spend more time helping with homework and less time talking to your wife. More time playing chauffeur, less time playing doctor.
It’s a nasty cycle, and it comes with an abrupt stop.
What happens when school’s out? Little Johnny graduates with a dual degree in Practical Philosophy and Experimental Art History, gets a job at the local Stab-and-Grab, gets married, and starts a family.
When that happens, parents suddenly become “extended family”. The kid has a life of his own and probably doesn’t need his clothes picked out in the morning, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to write his name in his underwear.
This is planned. It is–in theory–the reason we raise our kids. It shouldn’t be a surprise, even if it is a bit of a shock.
Can you survive it? Can your marriage?
If you’ve spent the last 20 years of your life pretending you are nothing but a system for delivering food, rides, and gadgets for your kids, what are you going to do with your time when they are busy pretending they are that system for their kids? If you’ve never developed a hobby, are you going to go extra-special, bat-**** crazy now?
For 20 years, have all of your conversations been about your kids? Have all of your outings been birthday parties? Will you have anything to say to your spouse when the kids are gone?
Your kids are temporary.
They are important. They are your genetic legacy and the people who will choose your nursing home. Don’t neglect them, but you do have to hold something back. Make time for yourself. Make time for your husband or your wife. Or both, if you can make that work.
When your kids are working 90 hour weeks building a new career, or hustling 4 kids to 10 after-school activities, your life doesn’t get to revolve around them.
All you’ve got is yourself and your wife. If she’s not feeling secure about your feelings now, when she loses the distraction of puke in her hair, that insecurity will blossom in unpleasant ways. If you can’t find a conversation that doesn’t involve the kids now, the silence will be blistering when you eventually lose that crutch.
If you don’t have a hobby, get one.
If you don’t have a relationship with your wife, get one. Take her on a date tonight. Your kids are temporary, your marriage shouldn’t be. This is the rest of your life. Make it worthwhile.