- @Elle_CM Natalie's raid looked like it was filmed with a strobe light. Lame CGI in reply to Elle_CM #
- I want to get a toto portable bidet and a roomba. Combine them and I'll have outsourced some of the least tasteful parts of my day. #
- RT @freefrombroke: RT @moneybeagle: New Blog Post: Money Hacks Carnival #115 http://goo.gl/fb/AqhWf #
- TED.com: The neurons that shaped civilization. http://su.pr/2Qv4Ay #
- Last night, fell in the driveway: twisted ankle and skinned knee. Today, fell down the stairs: bruise makes sitting hurt. Bad morning. #
- RT @FrugalDad: And to moms, please be more selective about the creeps you let around your child. Takes a special guy to be a dad to another' #
- First Rule of Blogging: Don't let real life get in the way. Epic fail 2 Fridays in a row. But the garage sale is going well. #
Saturday Roundup
- Image via Wikipedia
Congratulations to Claudia for winning the $100 Amazon gift card.
This week started with my wife getting sick and ended with her passing it on to me. I hate being sick.
On a positive note, Tron is out this week, and is on IMAX 3D at a theater near me. I get to share a piece of my childhood with my son this afternoon.
Best Posts
When a guy named Dragon says, “Hold my beer a second,” you know something badass is about to happen.
Michael Moore’s Cuban healthcare lies propaganda is too much even for Cuba. Apparently, they are afraid the proles would revolt if they saw how good the ruling class has it in comparison to the 150-year-old rat-hole hospital the peasants are forced to use. But hey, it’s free!
I could think of worse ways to get laws passed than Last Man Standing. It would at least put a stop to frivolous crap that hurts everyone.
I had an eBay seller try to screw me once. I had access to a number of skiptracing tools at the time. When I sent him his phone number, his girlfriend’s phone number, his parents’ phone number, his place of employment, and all of those address, I got my refund the next day.
ChristianPF has a post on buying bulk herbs and spices. Not all spices can be stored for long, even in the freezer.
LRN Timewarp
This is where I revisit the posts I wrote a year ago.
4 Ways to Flog Your Inner Impulse Shopper was my first bondage-themed post. I still smile when I re-read it.
My post on cheap birthday parties is something I need to read every year. The party this fall wasn’t nearly as cheap as it has been in recent years.
And finally, my Grinch post on saving money on Christmas. My secret: buy less for fewer people.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked
First Steps – Ramsey Was Wrong was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
A Moment of Clarity was included in the Carnival of Money Stories.
Top 7 Reasons To Trade Forex Over Other Financial Instruments was included in the Festival of Frugality.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
Changing Our Situation
In September 2005, I bought my car, a Chrysler Pacifica. I got it on a loan. Two months later–seven years ago this month–I was told I’d be laid off at the end of the year.
Two weeks ago, we bought a Chevy Tahoe with a loan. Last Monday, my wife was permanently laid off after 12 years with her company. She was told that, if her department opened back up, she’d be welcome to reapply for her job and start as a new employee.
Car loans mean layoffs at my house.
Last Tuesday, I got a formal offer for a new job. I accepted.
I am now a full month away from knowing exactly what my semi-monthly paychecks will be. My wife is getting her final paycheck later this week, which will include a week of severance pay.
For the first time in a number of years, I don’t know what my income looks like. I don’t have a clear long-term picture or a good short-term picture.
I’m not worried.
For the first time in my life, I’m not living paycheck-to-paycheck. Having a couple of pay periods act wonky isn’t going to hurt. Yes, we are going to cut back, but we can manage for a few months without worry. We aren’t going to sweat over putting food on the table.
That is an incredible feeling.
Sammy’s Story, Part 2
For those of you not following along, please read the previous installment of Sammy’s Story. The short version is that we’re thinking about helping someone launch a small business and put “at risk” teenagers and young adults to work.
Sammy called me a couple of days ago. He wanted to discuss working for some of the tools and toys he saw at my mother-in-law’s house and he said he had something to show us. When I picked him up, he had a leather portfolio-style notebook and looked excited.
When we got to the house, he opened up his notebook and handed me two pieces of paper. He said that the idea of being able to launch his business had him so excited that he couldn’t not do anything. He had handed me a landscaping plan and materials list for fixing my mother-in-law’s yard.
We talked about the landscape plan, the business plan, and my wife’s old skateboard, then he had to go. Last night was one of the nights he met “his” kids at a community center.
On the way to the community center, we stopped by his apartment, because he wanted to show me pictures of his kids, and his grandkids, and his foster mother. He told me about his mother dying when he was 13 and his father dropping him with an aunt before disappearing. He was nearly in tears when he asked how some strange white guy could see more in him than his own family did.
He told me about how the money he made working with me had put food on the table of the 14 year old he brought with–a 14 year old who is eager to work more. It paid the weekly rent for one of the other workers and contributed to the rehab of Sammy’s ex. The little bit we’ve done has already touched the lives of dozens of people.
We talked about the way he hates rap. Not because of it’s musical value, but because it’s building a culture that considers women to be nothing but “bitches and hoes” while convincing kids that the only way they can improve their situation is to land a recording contract. Those are the kids he wants to teach to take care of themselves and build their own lives.
Finally, he asked me for my honest opinion about his landscaping plan.
I said, “Sammy, that clinched the deal. I was leaning towards helping you, but now it’s definite. I know you’re serious, so we’re going to make this happen.”
He’s got no idea how to handle taxes, payroll, or insurance, and he has no tools, but we’re going to jump in with both feet.
How to Build a Business on Cannibalism
Last week, my wife posted on Facebook that she was frustrated with her job hunt.
An hour later, she got a call from someone she hadn’t talked to in 10 years. He wanted to talk about a great business opportunity. He wouldn’t say what it was, but wanted to bring a friend over to discuss it.
Fast forward to last night.
The night my wife agreed to meet with the old friend.
The meeting we forgot about.
So we invited our friend and his friends into the house. We sat down at the dining room table to hear the pitch. Our friend is just getting started so his “friend” delivered the pitch.
While I was waiting for him to explain the business, he was showing us pictures of he and his wife traveling around the country.
Instead of explaining the product, he asked about our most expensive dreams.
Instead of telling us how the marketing worked, he mentioned something about utilizing the internet–and i-Commerce–and talked about changing our buying habits.
Instead of showing us a product, he talked about driving volume and building a team.
There was nothing concrete, but a lot was said to ride on the dreams of people who are frustrated with their income or are living paycheck-to-paycheck.
More than an hour into the presentation, it was revealed that the “product” is a buying portal to allow people to buy Amway products from your personal Amway store.
Freaking Amway.
How do they find your personal Amway store, you ask? I don’t know, because you are supposed to be your own best customer. You make money by buying the products you use anyway, but buy them from Amway. For example, there’s the $10 toothbrush, the $16 baby wipes, or the $38 toilet paper.
For six frickin’ rolls.
Seriously, this stuff is meant to touch my butt once. I don’t need it made from pressed gold.
As for the visual…you’re welcome!
So I sell a kidney to buy enough toilet paper to keep my nether bits clean for a month and I get one point for every $3 I spend. I figure that’s about 50 points per month, given the foot traffic our bathrooms see.
If I hit 100(I think, he didn’t leave the paperwork) points, I get 6%(again, I wasn’t taking notes) back at the end of the next month. For the sake of the math, I’m going to double the number of butts in my house. 100 points means I need to spend $300. That’s 47 rolls of toilet paper. In exchange for this $300–and on top of gold-embroidered silk I now get to flush down the toilet–I’ll earn $18.
I know exactly how much toilet paper I buy right now. Amazon sends me a 48 roll package every other month for $31.42, shipped.
To simplify, Amway is offering me the ability to spend $300 to get $18 plus $31.42 worth of toilet paper. I’m supposed to end my financial worries by turning $300 into $50 every month.
Yay!
[Note to self: Demolish Amway’s business model by starting a company that will let people turn $200 into $50, without the nasty overhead of stocking overpriced crap. A 33% increase in efficiency will make me rich!]
But wait, say the imaginary Amway proponents that I hope aren’t frequenting my site, you’re forgetting the most important part!
Oh really?
There’s also a thing called a “segmented marketing team”. To the rest of the multi-level marketing world, this is known as your downline. If you can con your family and friends into turning their $300 into $50 every month, then help them con their family and friends into turning $300 into $50 every month, you’ll get rich! Amway has apparently figured out a way to share a small fraction of their 600% markup with their victims to make them feel like it’s a business opportunity instead of a robbery.
If I get 9 people in my “business team” and each of them build out their team, I get the coveted title of “Platinum Master” or whatever. All I have to do is sell the souls of 72 people and I can make a ton of money! If each member of my downline turns $300 into $50, Amway will get $18,000. In exchange for delivering those souls, the “average” Platinum Ninja makes about $4500 per month. That’s about $12,000–free and clear–for Amway.
When your business model consists entirely of your sales force doing all of the buying and consuming, it’s not a business model, it’s cannibalism.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16
- Dora the Explorer is singing about cocaine. Is that why my kids have so much energy? #
- RT @prosperousfool: Be the Friendly Financial “Stop” Sign http://bit.ly/67NZFH #
- RT @tferriss: Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ in a one-page cartoon: http://su.pr/2PAuup #
- RT @BSimple: Shallow men believe in Luck, Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson #
- 5am finally pays off. 800 word post finished. Reading to the kids has been more consistent,too. Not req’ing bedtime, just reading daily. #
- Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse: morbid story from my childhood. Still enthralling. #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $7,400 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DDPy #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16
