- "The best way to spend your money is to spend it on time, not on stuff." http://su.pr/2tr5iP #
- First bonus by stock options today. Not sure I'm impressed. #
- RT @chrisguillebeau: US border control just walked the train asking "Are you a US citizen?" Native American guy says: "One of the originals" #
- @FARNOOSH My credit score is A measure of my integrity not THE measure. in reply to FARNOOSH #
- I'm listening to a grunge/metal cover of "You are my sunshine" #
- There's something funny about a guy on reality TV whining about how private he is. #LAInk #
Friends and Acquaintances
“Friends help you move. Good friends help you move bodies.”
-unknown
Some people have dozens of friends. I’m not that guy.
I have 6.
Everybody in the world can be divided into 4 categories.
- Strangers. A xenophobe’s nightmare. These are the people you don’t know, whether they are passing you on the sidewalk, or newborns on the opposite side of the world.
- Acquaintances. These are the people you’ve met, mostly in passing. They tend not to have much effect on your life. You may pass a friendly bus ride in conversation, but it’s nothing that sticks. A waitress, the clerk at the store, a friend’s latest date; these are the people you interact with for just a moment and rarely think about further.
- Friendlies. Most people call these folks friends. I don’t. I’m friendly with them, hence the name, but it’s not true friendship. Often, they are either my wife’s friends, or my friends’ wives. Sometimes, they are a friend of a friend that I only see at parties, or a coworker that I get along with, but never see outside of work. We’re friendly, but not obliged. I may help with some things, but it’s not necessarily a priority. I’ll go to a funeral, but probably won’t help plan it.
- Friends. To me, calling someone a friend is a big deal. I’m willing to do a lot for my friends. They are able to command large amounts of my time, and ask any number of favors. If needed, I’ll open my home or help demolish their’s. Loyalty, honesty, trust, respect, and companionship are all a part of my definition of a friend. If a friend needs help, I’ll come running. In return, I expect the same.
Family tends to fall into the same analogous categories.
It sounds cold, but I hesitate to let people graduate into the final category. My wife used to try to “set me up” with people that she thought I’d like to be friends with, thinking I was sad to have so few friends. It took years for her to realize that I was happy. It’s a matter of quality over quantity. Most of the friends I have, I’ve had for 10 years or more. I’ve known each of them for at least 5 years, not that time is a requirement.
Moving people into the “friends” category is a lot like dating. You get along, so you invite the potential friends out for a drink, one on one. You feel them out to see if they are compatible. You meet their families, share some food, build some history. If it all works out, eventually, you consider them a true friend, even if you couldn’t mark the date of the transition.
You wouldn’t marry everyone you date, so why would turn everyone you basically get along with into a friend?
Do you have a lot of friends? What marks friendship for you?
Regret
There comes a time when it’s too late to tell people how you feel.
There will come a day when the person you mean to talk to won’t be there. Don’t wait for that day.
“There’s always tomorrow” isn’t always true.
Happy Form
If you don’t know why you are hear, please read about the 21 Day Happiness Training Challenge.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-08
- The Festival of Frugality #278 The Pure Peer Pressure Edition is up. All of your friends are reading it. http://bit.ly/aqkn4K #
- RT @princewally: Happy StarWars Day!: princewally's world http://goo.gl/fb/rLWAA #
- Money Hacks Carnival #114 – Hollywood Edition http://bit.ly/dxU86w (via @nerdwallet) #
- I am the #1 google hit for "charisma weee". Awesome. #
Selena Gomez: Can Child Stars Make It As Adults?
Selena Gomez is no longer the innocent yet rebellious Alex from Disney’s hit show Wizards of Waverly Place. In fact, the quirky and wholesome child star who was beloved by so many young women has now become a scantily
clad pop star that is singing risque lyrics to her on again off again pop star boyfriend Justin Beiber. Her transition to adult stardom has not been an easy one, and many believe that her role in “Spring Breakers” is a sign that she has officially entered adulthood and kissed her teen-friendly role preference in the past. But unlike other famous Disney child stars like Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears, Gomez has had a relatively smooth path to adult stardom with only minor bumps in the road. But many people are asking themselves whether or not child stars can actually make it as adults, or whether their career is over once their cute phase stages.
Child Stars Have to Find Themselves After Their Cuteness is Gone
Child stars are aware of the fact that they are always being watched. They become the idols of their young fans, and these young idols rely a lot on their cuteness to become a celebrity. But transitioning from a cute kid to a talented adult actor can be a difficult feat. Not only does the star have to earn a new fan base, they also must find a new identity and decide which types of roles they are willing to take now that they are a mature adult able to make their own decisions. Sometimes, even children who do not fall into the drug and alcohol trap, find it difficult when they are given control of their own careers without their guardian’s rules.
The Public is Less Receptive to a Child Star Turned Adult Star
Die hard Wizards of Waverly Place will always see Selena Gomez as the lovable yet comedic Alex Russo. While this was her most popular role, it is the role that will makes her transition into more mature roles difficult. The public is less receptive to an adult Selena Gomez, clad in bra tops and short shorts, because they do not realize that she has matured. When the public shuns a child star for taking on more adult roles, the star simply is not sought after for movies and sitcoms. Young female child stars tend to be judged much more than their male counterparts. In fact, Justin Timberlake and Ryan Gosling are both very successful in the acting scene, and they were both Mouseketeers.
It is possible for a child star to make it as a adult, but the person must have thick skin and be prepared for a publicly criticized transition. Many child stars simply choose to retire once they have outgrown the ability to take on youthful roles, and others are not mentally prepared for the scrutiny they will face. Ultimately, a child star can have a successful career in stardom as an adult if the public is ready for the transition.
