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The Secret to Fearless Change
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door
You never will get where you’re going
If you never get up on your feet
Come on, there’s a good tail wind blowing
A fast walking man is hard to beat
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door
If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don’t be the rule be the exception
A good way to start is to stand
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door
If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn
You mean that it’s just my election
To vote for a chance to be reborn
30 Day Project – January
This month, I have two 30 Day Projects.
My first project is to start waking up at 5am. This will add an extra 90 minutes to my day, which will give me time to manage all of my other 30 day projects. I’ll be able to wake up to a quiet house, walk the dog, eat breakfast and not start every day in a rush to get out of the house. Today was my exception. After watching 2010 arrive, I didn’t get up early.
The second project is to start reading to my children every night before bed. We read to the kids often, but not every day. That’s going to change. We are also working on breaking the girls of the family bed. If I can read them to sleep each night, it will help. Good, educational family time that makes it easier to sleep every night.
These are both habits I want to keep long after the month is up.
Living the XBox Life on an Atari Income
At some point, everyone has “champagne wishes and caviar dreams.” Over the last 25 years, we’ve even been peddled the “you can have it all” myth from every direction, including the media and the government.
The truth is simple: you cannot have it all. You can have anything, but you can’t have everything. In order to have one thing, you have to give up something else. It’s a law of nature. If you have $5, you can either get a burger or an overpriced cup of coffee, but not both.
“But wait!” you shout, rudely interrupting the narrator, “I have a credit card. I can have both!”
Wrong.
And stop interrupting me.
If you have $5 and borrow $5 to get some coffee to go with your burger, you will eventually have to pay that money back with interest. You will have to give up a future-burger AND a flavor shot in your overpriced coffee.
Everything you buy needs to be paid for, some day.
If you have an Atari income, but insist on living the XBox life, you will wake up one day, buried in bills, forced to live the Commodore-64 life out of sheer desperation.
There is a solution.
Don’t get all XBox-y until you are making XBox money. That way, you’ll never have to worry about going broke tomorrow paying for the fun you had yesterday.
Even when you have an XBox income, ideally you’ll restrict yourself to living a Gamecube life, so you’ll be able to put some money aside to support future-you instead of constantly having to worry about your next paycheck.
Making Up Stories
Saturday night, as I was walking out of the pizza place, I saw a beautiful young brunette standing on the sidewalk talking on her cell phone.
As I walked past, I heard, “I could pay my rent if they’d just give me my last paycheck! They owe me like $200.”
That’s it.
Have you ever heard a tiny piece of a conversation and used that to build a back story in your own mind?
I do that all of the time.
In fact, I’m going to do that now.
First, what can I know from those two sentences?
- She was unemployed. She was more worried about her last paycheck than her next one.
- She had worked for a scummy, fly-by-night, something-or-other. Good companies don’t withhold paychecks.
- She had no emergency fund. If she had one, $200 would be an inconvenience, not a disaster.
- She rented, and had roommates. This conversation occurred in the parking lot of a pizza place in a reasonably affluent suburb. For $200, she wasn’t living alone. Whether she rented a room or shared an apartment would be a mere guess.
Those items can–I believe–be taken as fact, given the evidence at hand.
Now for the conjecture:
- She was a waitress. A $200 final paycheck probably means her hourly wage was low. Besides, pretty, young, unskilled girls often become waitresses. It’s one of the few ways to make good money without a degree of any kind.
- The restaurant wasn’t a chain. Chain stores have lawyers and procedures. They don’t withhold final paychecks.
- She invites drama into her life. When you work for a company that makes a habit of shady practices, like withholding final paychecks out of spite, you know it happens. It’s not a surprise. If you continue working there, you are just waiting in line for your turn to have problems.
- She wasn’t close to her family. In an emergency, $200 from Mom & Dad is nothing. In my mind, she only has one parent and isn’t close to that parent, but that’s purely invention.
- Her friends are in the same boat. Short-term planning, no reserve cash, no room to let a friend couch-surf for a couple of weeks.
- Next month, she’ll be having the same problems, but she’ll find someone else to blame. Her ex owes her money, or her roommate stole the last of her cash.
That’s my entirely unsupported guess of a young stranger’s life story. My opinion isn’t flattering, but how could it be, when $200 is enough to make the young woman panic?
Have you ever played this game?
Crying is for Winners
Have you ever seen a kid come off a wrestling mat, crying his eyes out because he lost?
Often, that kid will get told to be tough and stop crying.
That’s wrong.
I’m not opposed to teaching kids not to cry under most circumstances, but just after an intense competition, I love it. It’s the best possible sign that the kids was pouring his soul into winning. It means he was trying with everything he had.
It means he is–or will be–a winner.
When a kid, particularly a boy in a tough sport, is crying, you know he’s going to try harder and do better next time.
For all of the “tough guy” ability it takes to succeed as a wrestler, I’ve never seen another wrestler teasing the crier. They’ve all been there. Wrestling is a team sport, but you win or lose a match on your own. When you step out in front of hundreds of people and spend 3 to 6 minutes giving every ounce of everything you have to give, only to find it’s not good enough, you’ll often find you don’t have the final reserve necessary to control your emotions.
This is different than a kid crying because he lost a game, just because he lost. Some kids feel entitled to win anything they do, regardless of the effort they put it. That’s also wrong.
Crying at a loss is okay after putting in maximum effort and full energy, not because the dice went the wrong way.