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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Overbanked

Finance

Last week, when I mentioned that I lost my phone, there was some interest in my self-insurance warranty plan.

Post Office Savings history — Image by brizzle born and bred via Flickr

The truth is, that’s just one of 14 savings accounts I keep. I find it’s simpler to keep track of my savings goals by moving the money to separate accounts than to track everything in a spreadsheet. This lets me tell how I’m doing at a glance.

I have one account each at two major traditional banks. These savings accounts exist to provide a target for an automatic transfer that eliminates fees on the associated checking accounts. Whenever much money accumulates here, I sweep it out and throw it at my credit card.

I also have 12 accounts at INGDirect. I chose ING because they are extremely convenient and, at least at the time, had a competitive interest rate. Different countries have different banking options.

Here are the rest my accounts:

Emergency fund. I deposit $25 every month. I also keep part of my emergency fund in a CD that’s also at ING.
Property tax fund. Every month, I deposit a bit more than a twelfth of my annual property tax bill. When the time comes to pay, I just transfer the money from my account to the tax assessor. It works well.
College fund. Yes, this is a straight savings account. Right now, I’m focused on debt, not college. When my debt is gone I’ll ramp this up. I started this just to get started. From here, it’s a few seconds of work to increase the amount I contribute, which is currently $10 per month.
Warranty fund. Instead of buying warranties, or going into a panic when something breaks, I deposit $50 into this account every month. When something breaks, I take the money out of this account(assuming I have enough) and use it to replace or repair whatever is missing. $50 isn’t a lot to contribute, if you have things breaking every week. I go several months without touching this money, and it’s always been enough to cover what we need.
Vacation fund. This is pure fun money. I sock away a bit out of every check, and occasionally when other money comes in. Then, we plan our vacation around how much money we have here and how many points we have saved on our credit card. Vacations seem like a luxury when we’ve got debt, but I work so much and miss so much of my kids, day to day, that I consider this a necessity. It’s a week of downtime with my family, doing something they will remember. It’s worth it, several times over.
Braces fund. So far, we know that two of our kids are going to end up in braces. One of them will probably be this year. We had more in this account, but stole some to cover our vision therapy bill. When our insurance reimbursement finally comes back, that will go straight into this account.
Camera fund. My wife really wants a prosumer-level camera, so I started an account to save for it. If we go over budget, this is the first account we raid, since this is purely a luxury.
Personal goal accounts. We each have a goal account set up for things that don’t affect the family. As a practical matter, I save to go to FINCON and a hunting trip with my Dad and my brother, while my wife saves for a couple of scrapbooking retreats each year. These accounts are funded solely from extra money and don’t have an automatic deposit.
Car fund. This started as a car repair fund, with a $50 deposit each month. When my car was finally paid off last year, I took half of my car payment and redirected it into this account, to help us pay cash for our next car. Last month, I stole some money from this account to play stockbroker. It wasn’t a lot of money, but I’ve gotten a 25% return over the last 6 weeks.
Internet. This is just a convenient account to catch money that gets paid from things like my Amazon affiliate account.
Held for tax. The name should be self-explanatory. When I get paid from any of my side hustles, I set aside about 25% to cover any tax bill I may be missing. After I file my taxes, I shoot any leftover money out to my other savings goals or my credit card, as appropriate.

I also have a couple of monthly line items in Quicken that I haven’t broken into separate accounts, just to provide an overdraft buffer, like our gift budget.

That’s proof that I am over-banked. How about you? How do you track your savings goals?

A Budget Isn’t Enough

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

You know exactly how much you make, to the penny. You’ve listed all of your bills in a spreadsheet, including the annual payment for your membership to Save the Combat-Wombat. You know exactly how much is coming in and how much has to go out each month. Your income is more than your expenses, yet somehow, you still have more month than money.

What’s going on?

The short answer is that a budget is not enough.

A budget is not…

…a checkbook register. Do you track everything you spend? Are you busting your budget on $10 lattes or DVDs every few days? Is the take-out you have for lunch every day adding up to 3 times your food budget? Are you sure? If you don’t track what you spend, how do you know what you’ve actually spent? You have to keep track of what you are spending. Luckily there are ways to do this that don’t involve complex calculation, laborious systems or even proper math. The easy options include using cash for all of your discretionary spending(no money, no spendy!), rounding your spending up so you always have more money than you think you do, or even keeping your discretionary money is a separate debit account. That will let you keep your necessary expenses covered. You’ll just have to check your discretionary account’s balance often and always remember that sometimes, things take a few days to hit your bank.

…a debt repayment plan. You may know how much you have available, but if you aren’t exercising the discipline to pay down your debt and avoid using more debt, you not only won’t make progress, but you’ll continue to dig a deeper hole. Without properly managing the money going out, watching the money coming in is pointless.

…an alternative to responsible spending. Your budget may say you have $500 to spare every month, but does that mean you should blow it on smack instead of setting up an emergency fund? I realize most heroin addicts probably aren’t reading this, but dropping $500 at the bar or racetrack is just as wasteful if you don’t have your other finances in order. Take care of your future needs before you spend all of your money on present(and fleeting) pleasures.

A budget is a starting point for keeping your financial life organized and measuring a positive cash flow. By itself, it can’t help you. You need to follow it up with responsible planning and spending.

3 Reasons You Hate Your Budget

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

One of the first steps in clearing up your financial mess is to set up a budget. You need to figure out how much money you are making, how much you are spending, and what you can do to keep one of those numbers smaller than the other. If your income is smaller than your expenses, you’ve got work to do. If not, yay!

Even if you don’t obsessively cling to your spreadsheets and calculator, you need to spend the time to establish a budget–at least once–to know where you stand. When you do, you’ll find out it sucks. With good reason.

1. It takes too long to set up. Setting up a budget can be a long, drawn-out pain in the butt. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be, but you won’t know that until after you make your first budget, then see some fairly drastic changes, and make a second budget. That one will be easier. For the first one, just concentrate on making a list of all of you regular bills and how often they are due. Don’t be surprised when you miss some. I missed a couple of our quarterly bills. All told, it took a year to get our budget completely done.

2. It doesn’t lie. Once you have all of your expenses down on paper, you are done hiding. You can’t tell yourself it’s all puppy dogs and ice cream when you are staring at the giant red pit that is the negative balance of your bad decisions. Nobody likes the messenger who brings bad news. When your budget shows you how big the hole is, you are going to hate it. That’s when it’s time to confront the problem head on and get out of the hole. Find the problems and rip ’em out. Cancel the cable, taxidermize the cats, and start buying generic underpants. It’s time to take an honest look at your situation. If you can’t handle where you are, how are you going to get where you want to be?

3. It’s not fun. When your friends go out, but you stay home because you’re broke, you will hate it. Y’ou’re also gonna hate comparing your old cell phone to the iPhone in the hands of the d-bag contemplating bankruptcy. Like Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else, so that later you can live like no one else.” Skipping some of the fun now will turn into security later. When you get to that point, it will have all been worth it.

Why do you hate your budget?

Clearing Up Social Debt in 3 Steps

Finance

Debt can be thought of as a disease–probably social. Most of the time, it was acquired through poor decision making, possibly while competing with your friends, occasionally after having a few too many, often as an ego boost. Unfortunately, you can’t make it go away with a simple shot of penicillin. It takes work, commitment and dedication. Here are three steps to treating this particular affliction.

1. Burn it, bash it, torch it, toss it, disinfect. Get rid of the things that enable you to accumulate debt. If you keep using debt as debt, you will never have it all paid off. That’s like only taking 3 days of a 10 day antibiotic. Do you really want that itchy rash bloodsucking debt rearing its ugly head when you’ve got an important destination for your money? Take steps to protect yourself. Wrap that debt up and keep it away.

2. Quit buying stuff. Chances are, you have enough stuff. Do you really need that Tusken Raider bobble-head or the brushed titanium spork? They may make you feel better in the short term, but after breakfast, what have you gained? A fleeting memory, a bit of cleanup, and an odd ache that you can’t quite explain to your friends. Only buy the stuff you need, and make it things you will keep forever. If you do need to indulge, hold off for 30 days to see if it’s really worthwhile. If it’s really worth having, you can scratch that itch in a month with far fewer regrets.

3. Spend less. This is the obvious one. The simple one. The one that makes breaking a heroin addiction look like a cake-walk(My apologies to recovering heroin addicts. If you’re to the point that personal finance is important to you, you’ve come a long way. Congratulations!). Cut your bills, increase your income. Do whatever it takes to lower your bottom line and raise your top line. Call your utilities. If they are going to take your money, make them work for it. If they can’t buy you drinks or lower your payments, get them out of your life. There’s almost always an alternative. Don’t be afraid to banish your toxic payments. Eliminate your debt payments. This page has a useful guide to debt and how to clear it off.

Update: This post has been included in the Festival of Frugality.

Don’t Cheap Out

Finance

How do you answer a question like “What are things you never go cheap on and why?”. Think about it – the question cuts with mischievous delight into your personally held biases towards common purchases. Not only does the question force self-reflection, it’s really asking you, “What are you purchasing that you know you can save money on, if only you tossed your biases out the window?”. Devilish indeed!

A little about myself. I’m a software engineer in Silicon Valley (an area of land roughly defined as San Mateo and Santa Clara counties in California), married, no kids, and a home-owner. I also write for (and run) the web site Don’t Quit Your Day Job… when my day job is through for the… um… day.

How to Spend Money You Don’t Really Need To!

I have a confession to make: when it comes to dress shirts, I never go cheap. Dress shirts in general aren’t closely associated with my industry, or California in general – you’re more likely to find college t-shirts and flip flops than dress shirts and cap toe bluchers. However, growing up outside of Boston, Massachusetts, I think I had a fair amount of Puritan formalism instilled in my dress style!

In my closet I have approximately 25 to 30 dress shirts. The most common label you’ll find is Brooks Brothers, followed by Joseph A. Banks (JAB runs yearlong sales, so it’s best to wait for the shirts to be marked down). I’ve got a few shirts from the Jermyn Street shirtmakers. I also have some MTM (made to measure) shirts – the highlight of my wardrobe, but I’m ashamed to admit their cost is in the triple digits after shipping. Wearing one of those also means my wife cracks yuppie jokes all day.

Here’s even more about me: I’m 5’10” and have a 42” chest and a 31” waist. If you know men’s clothing, you know those are silly proportions for buying off the rack clothing, but a 17-32 ‘fits’ me (the shoulders are in the right place). To translate – that shirt has a 17″ neck opening and 32″ sleeves, measured from the middle of the back. Even with a cheaper shirt, I could just pay $12 to my Tailor to bring in the waist and pull up the baggage in the chest area and under the arms. Of course, that’s how I justify the MTM portion of my wardrobe – the stitches are perfect when the shirt is made for your actual proportions. Even the ‘slim’ fits sold in store don’t come close to fitting someone like me.

Justifying An Expensive Habit

If there is anything to be said about the labels I pick – they last. Every MTM shirt I’ve had made for me is still going strong. The Jermyn Street, Brooks Brothers and Joseph A. Banks shirt also last a long time. When I have bought cheap shirts in the past, they rarely last longer than a year – and I am meticulous about hanging the shirts to dry. By that measure, the expensive shirts I wear are only expensive when it comes to initial costs – but by the end of their useful life their cost per wear is much less than the inferior quality shirts. Also, since I’m getting it tailored anyway (like I said, a fixed cost), I want any shirt that I bother tailoring to last as long as physically possible.

Of course, my line of reasoning requires my proportions to stay the same. I do build in a tiny bit of extra room when I get shirts tailored, but a significant shift in weight means a (expensive) new wardrobe.

Where to Economize if You Want Quality Shirts

It’s pretty obvious where you can save money (short of tailoring shirts yourself or finding a cheaper Tailor – I’ve had mixed results with those options). In fact, the most important quote is staring us in the face – “If there is anything to be said about the labels I pick – they last.” Yes, they last long enough that a used shirt isn’t a significant decrease in quality from a new shirt. That means, if you’re like me, you can buy used shirts on eBay, Craigslist, or in a Thrift Store. Wash it well and your Tailor won’t even know the difference!

So, what do you think? I’ve never considered myself part of the frugal crowd so I turn the mic to you: Should I cut out my expensive habit, or did I somehow convince you I’m not burning my money?

PKamp3 is a writer for Don’t Quit Your Day Job… Enlightened Discussion of Personal Finance, Economics, Politics and the Offbeat for the Night and Weekend Crowd. He also loves expensive shirts to the consternation of a certain subset of his readers.

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