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Cutting Costs While Cutting Hair

Beauty Girl Surprise.
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About once per quarter, my wife and I have a…I won’t call it a fight.  It’s more like she-comes-home-looking-stunning-while-I-make-disapproving-grunting-sounds-while-giving-the-checkbook-dirty-looks.

I hate salons.

$80 for highlights, $30 for a haircut and $15 for eyebrow “shaping”.   It’s an afternoon of chemicals and hot-wax torture, for the low, low price of $125 + tip.  Frugal it’s not, but that’s an argument I lost long ago.

This weekend, she tried something new.

Beauty school.

For roughly the cost of materials, she got her eyebrows “shaped” and her hair highlighted and cut by a senior student at the beauty school, under the supervision of a licensed beautician/instructor.

It looks good, and she said she had more fun during her appointment than any other salon trip she’s had.   I guess there’s something to be said for interacting with someone who isn’t burned out on interacting with the general public.

What does it cost?  What normally runs $125 cost just $35.  That’s for a $5 cut, $25 highlighting, and $5 wax.   That’s a $90 savings or 72% off.  Yay!

Other services they offer include:

  • Full color, cut and shampoo for $20.
  • A Perm for $25.
  • Mani/pedi for $24.
  • Full set of acrylic nails for $15.
  • Wax for $5.  Have I ever mentioned that I am happy to be a guy?
  • Seaweed treatment for $10.  I don’t even know what this is.   A buffet, maybe?

They also have a “Princess” package that we’re going to use for brat #2’s birthday party next month.   It’s an up-do, nail polish, make-up, and tiara for $10 per kid.  We’ll take the girls out to get made up all pretty-like, then off to the dollar theater, for a $35 party.

The school my wife visited has more than 90 locations in 21 states, but I’d be willing to be every city big enough to support a Wal-Mart also has a beauty school nearby.  They don’t tend to advertise their customer services, so you’ll have to call, but for a 70% discount, it worth spending a bit of time on the phone, isn’t it?

I have two questions for you, dear readers:

  1. Would you consider going to a beautician trainee?
  2. What the heck is a seaweed treatment?
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How to Die Well

A "refusal of treatment" form from o...
Image via Wikipedia

Most people don’t die quickly.

As much as I would rather die suddenly–while putting a smile on my wife’s face–the odds are that I will spend my last hours or days in a hospital, unable to make the decisions about my care.

Will I be doing my vegetable impression after a car accident, or be left unable to speak during a botched Viagra implanantation in my 90s?  I don’t know.

There is one thing I know about the end of my life.  I do not want to linger for months, blind and deaf, on a feeding tube.   I don’t want my family to spend the last few months of my life secretly ashamed of hoping for my burden to end.   I’d like my end to be quick enough that the emotions they are feeling aren’t a sad combination of guilt and relief, just sadness at my passing and happiness at having had me.

That’s the legacy I’d like.

The problem is making my wishes known.  If I’m lying in a hospital bed, asking to be allowed to die, they’ll consider me suicidal instead of rationally considering my request.  If I’m completely incapacitated, I won’t even be able to ask.

I can certainly make my wishes known beforehand, but how will my family be able to communicate my desires to the doctors in charge and how will they convince the doctor that they aren’t just after my currently imaginary millions?

That’s where a living will comes in.   A living will, also know as an advanced directive, is simply a formal document that explicitly states what you want to happen to you if you are too out of it to make your wishes known.

Aging With Dignity has put together an advanced directive called Five Wishes that meets the legal requirements for an advanced directive in 42 states.

The Five Wishes are:

1.  Who is going to make decisions for you, if you can’t?   For me, the obvious choice is my wife.  She appears to like me enough to want me around and love me enough to do what needs to be done, even if it’s difficult.  On the chance that we end up in the same car accidents, matching vegetables on a shelf, I’ve nominated my father for the unpleasantness.   I don’t think I’ve told him that, yet.

2.  What kind of treatment do you want, or want to refuse?  When my Grandpa was going, he made sure to have a Do Not Resuscitate order on file with the nursing home, the clinic, and the hospital.  He knew it was his time and didn’t want to drag it out.

3.  How comfortable do you want to be?   Do you want to be kept out of pain, at all costs, even if it means being drugged into oblivion most of the day?  Do you want a feeding tube, or would you rather only receive food and fluids if you are capable of taking them by mouth?

4.  How do you want to be treated?   Do you want to be allowed to die at home?   Do you want people to pray at your bedside, or keep their religious views to yourself?  Some people want to be left alone, while others are terrified of dying alone.   This wish also covers grooming.   Personally, if I soil myself, I’d like to get cleaned up as soon as possible.   I’ll have enough to deal with without smelling bad, too.

5.  What do you want your family to know?  This includes any funeral requests you have and whether you’d like to be cremated, buried, or both, but also goes beyond them.  Do you want your family to know that you love them?  You can also take this section to ask feuding family members to make peace or ask them to remember your better days, instead of the miserable few at the end.

The last 3 wishes are unique to the Five Wishes document, but they are excellent things to include.   The most important part of advanced directive is the advanced part.    You have the right to want whatever works for you, but your wishes don’t matter if nobody knows about them.

How about you? Do you have a living will?  Does your family know what you want to have happen if the worst happens?

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Priorities

I once saw a sign on the wall in a junkyard that said, “Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

Another good one: “If everything is top priority, nothing is top priority.”

Once a week, I meet with my boss to discuss my progress for the previous week and my priorities for the coming week.   This is supposed to make sure that my productivity stays in line with the company’s goals.

Great.

Once a day, my boss comes into my office to change my top priority based on whichever account manager has most recently asked for a status update for their customer.

Not so great.

At least twice a week, he asks for a status update on my highest priority items.   Each time, he could mean the items we prioritized in the weekly meeting, or the items he chose to escalate later.   Somehow, getting a new task escalated doesn’t deescalate an existing task.

Everything is a top priority.

To compensate, I’ve been working a few 12 hour days each week, and occasionally coming in on the weekends.

I’m dedicated and still behind.

Prioritizing is treated as an art, or in the case I just mentioned, a juggling act.  It should be considered a science.  It’s usually pretty simple.

  • Is the problem costing you money? +1
  • Is the problem costing your customer money? +2
  • Is the problem going to hurt your reputation? +1
  • Is there a deadline? +1
  • Is it soon? +2
  • Is it urgent? +1
  • Is it important? +2
  • Are there absolutely no real consequences for anyone if it doesn’t get completed? -500

That’s it.    Too many times, we get hung up on urgent-but-not-important items and neglect the important things.

The hard part comes when it’s someone else setting your priorities, particularly when that person doesn’t rate things on urgency, importance, and cost but rather “Who has bitched the loudest recently?”

Can I tell my boss that I’m not going to do things the way he told me too?  No.  A former coworker very recently found out what happens when you do this.

Can I remind him that I’m busting my butt as hard as I can?  Yes, but it will just earn me a request to come in on the weekend, too.

Can I ignore the official priorities part of the time, and work on what I feel is most important to keeping our customers happy?  Yes, but it’s easy to go too far.  “Boss, I ignored what you said, but this customer is happy, now!” won’t score me any points if it happens every week.

Priorities are simple, but not always easy.  How do you balance your priorities?

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