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Family Bed: How to Make It Stop

A young girl kisses a <a href=baby on the cheek.” width=”300″ height=”199″ />
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For years, my kids shared my bed.

When my oldest was a baby, I was working a graveyard shift, so my wife was alone with the baby at night.    It was easy to keep a couple of bottles in a cooler by the bed and not have to get out of bed to take care of him when he woke up once an hour to drink a full bottle.

Then he got older.  And bigger.  And bigger.

We tried to move him to his own bed a few times, but it never worked well.    He’d scream if we put him in a crib, so we got him a bed at 9 months old.  That just meant he was free to join us whenever he woke up.  Brat.

We finally got him to voluntarily move to his own bed after his sister was born.    Shortly after she was born, I woke up to see him using her as a pillow.   To paint the proper picture, this kid is 5’9″ and wears size 12 shoes.  At 11.  When I woke him up to tell him what he was doing, he decided to sleep in his own bed.

Method #1 to get your kids in their own bed:  Have kid 1 try to crush kid 2 and feel bad about it.

Method #1 isn’t a great solution.

Soon, baby #3 showed up and we had 2 monsters in bed with us again.    Once they started getting bigger, it became difficult for the 4 of us to sleep.   We tried to get them into their own beds.   Unfortunately, even as toddlers, my kids had a stubborn streak almost as big as my own.   Nothing worked.

Eventually, they got big enough that I was crowded right out of the bed.  At least we had a comfortable couch.

Sleeping on a couch gets old.

When the girls got old enough to reason with, we had a choice:  We either had to find a way to convince them they wanted to sleep in their own room, or we had to have a fourth brat for them to attempt to crush at night.

We went with bribery.  Outright, blatant bribery.

We put a chart on the wall with each of their names and 7 boxes.  Every night they slept in their own beds, they got to check a box.   When all of the boxes were checked, they got $5 and a trip to the toy store.

It took 10 days to empty our bed and it’s been peaceful sleeping since.  That’s $5 well-spent.

Have you done a family bed?  How did it work?  How long did it last?

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Sunday Roundup

Eye of horse.
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My girls have been riding in horse shows lately.  Sometimes, it seems like that’s all we’ve been doing on the weekends, but they love it.  My wife’s favorite hobby now matches my daughters’ favorite pastime.   As a bonus, we’ll never have to paint their room again, with the way they are accumulating ribbons.

Best Posts

It is possible to be entirely too connected.

My life is now complete.  It’s possible to buy 95 pounds of cereal marshmallows for just $399.   Breakfast at my house just got perfect.

I wholeheartedly agree with Tam, “You don’t need to make any excuses for crashing things into each other at the speed of light in an underground tunnel longer than Manhattan that’s had the air pumped out and been chilled to a couple degrees above absolute zero. That doesn’t need a reason. “

Carnivals I’ve Rocked 

Credit Cards: My Failed Experiment was included in the Best of Money Carnival, the  Carnival of Wealth, and the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

My niche site article on how to Make Extra Money with Keyword Research was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

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The Unfrugal Meal

A Teppanyaki chef cooking on a modern gas powe...
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I spend a lot of time talking about how to save money here.  It’s kind of what I do.

Not today.

Today, I’m going to talk about the best way I’ve wasted money during my vacation this week.

First, so my feelings are completely understood:  A vacation is about experiences and memories.   I could spend all day at the park with my kids, or I could spend a memorable meal with them.   Which will they remember longer?

It ain’t the park.  They are there almost every day.

Of course, if the restaurant is McDonald’s they wouldn’t remember for long, either.

Tuesday, after a long day of hands-on, interactive museum-going, we took the kids to a Japanese steakhouse.   Teppanyaki, where they cook the food at the table, complete with fire, spatula spinning, and airborne food.

I’m the only one in my family who has seen that before.    Honestly, watching the art, the skill, the banter, and the giant fireball leaves me as wide-eyed as my kids.

They loved it.

Watching the chef throw a bowl full of rice across the table made my son’s jaw drop.

Seeing the chef carry fire from one side of the grill to the other on his fingers made my youngest squeal and beg for more fire tricks.

Getting squirted by the chef when he was putting out a flare-up made the middle brat giggle, possibly because the squirt gun was a little kid, dressed up as a fireman, with his pants down.   She got “peed” on and loved it.

Aside from cooking-as-a-show, the service was fantastic.   There was always a waiter nearby to keep our water glasses full or to provide “little kid” chopsticks, which are modified with rubber band to remove the need for skill to eat.   They had the courses perfectly timed.   The minute the salad was cleared, the soup was delivered.   When that was done, the chef rolled up to start on the rice.  My two-year-old was eating white rice without complaint for the first time.

Giggles and squeals.  Three days later, they are still talking about it.   My 11-year-old, who’s trying so hard to be an unimpressible teenager, says it was the coolest restaurant he’s ever seen.

Frugal, it wasn’t, but the memories were worth the money.

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The Virtues of Preparation

Rainbow striped toe socks worn with thong sandals
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The first day of school caught me by surprise yesterday.

I knew it was coming, and we had almost all of the stuff we need in the brat’s backpack, but we weren’t ready for it.

Yesterday morning, we woke up.  Brat #3 was uncooperative, to say the least, so I wasn’t playing my ‘A’ game.    I woke up Brat #1 and sent him on his way to get changed and eat breakfast.   Ten minutes later, I chased him off of the couch to go get changed and eat breakfast.  He had forgotten that his school day starts at 7:30, now.

He ate and grabbed his backpack to leave.  I sent him to his room to change.

He changed and grabbed his backpack to leave.   I sent him to his room for socks.

He put on socks and grabbed his backpack to leave.   Then he realized his shoes weren’t by the door.

Shoe hunt!

I got him out of the door, only to see his face again a minute later when he realized he had forgotten something else.

Please remember that Brat #3 was acting up the entire time.

During the course of this, I was trying to make my lunch, which spent the day sitting on my kitchen counter.   I was dressing myself; I don’t know how many times I made it to the front door, only to realize I hadn’t put on socks, yet.  Or pants, for that matter.

What could have gone better?

Preparation.

On Monday, the day we all had off, with no plans, we should have set our alarms and done a dry run, right up to the point of walking out of the door.   Here’s how Monday should have gone:

  • All the school and daycare stuff should have been ready to go the night before.
  • I get up, have breakfast, then wake Brat #1.
  • He gets up and has breakfast, while I dress Brats #2 & 3.
  • Brat #1 gets dressed while I help the girls with their shoes and jackets.
  • Brat #1 throws on shoes and heads out the door while I strap the girls into the car.
  • Everybody’s happy.

That’s the well-oiled machine I would like to see in the morning.  Am I dreaming?  How do you handle your morning routine efficiently?

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Financial Blogger Conference

Three days, 800 miles, and 18 sessions later, I am back from the Financial Blogger Conference.

Here’s the breakdown of my spending:

The conference itself: $67

Breakfast on Friday: $8

Lunch on Friday: $19

Lunch on Sunday: $10

Gas: About $160

Hotel: $182

Tips to the bartender: About $10

That brings the total to $456.    The hotel cost is really an opportunity cost, because my rewards card will be reimbursing from my accrued miles.  Actual out-of-pocket cost: $274.

What did that money get me?

First, I got to meet a lot of the bloggers I read every day, including a lot of my fellow Yakezie members.   That’s invaluable.   

I got to spend three days meeting other bloggers, and learning how they operate.  I got to hear how they manage Twitter, how often they post, what they do, and how they do it.  Phenomenally valuable.

I got to spend 2 days learning better ways to do this whole blogging thing, by listening to some of the biggest names in the personal finance blogging world.   That’s a value that you’ll have to judge for yourselves over the next few months as Live Real, Now evolves.

From a purely financial perspective, was this a good spend?  Probably not.  I spent $274 to get intangibles that won’t pay my bills or put food on the table.  There is certainly an argument to be made that this was a waste of money.   However, I strongly believe that those intangibles will prove far more valuable than any other way I could have spent that money.   Using simple math, I may have wasted that money.   Looking at the long-term value, it was definitely worth the time and money.

I will be going back next year.

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