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Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

30 Day Project Update – January

Misc

For those who don’t remember–or are just tuning in–I am doing a 30 Day Project every month this year, sometimes two. For the month of January, I am doing two projects. I am waking up at 5AM every day, and I had planned to read to my kids every night before bed.

Waking up hasn’t been that difficult. I’m tempted to snooze the alarm, but I haven’t done that yet. My routine has been to wake up at 5, watch or read the news until I am fully awake, have breakfast, get ready for work, read all of the websites I follow in Google Reader, then get the kids ready. Until this month, my routine was to get up at 6:30, rush to get ready, rush more to get the kids ready, head out the door. This has been more relaxing and it let’s me start my workday fully awake, which wasn’t happening before. I’m hoping to get some writing time in there and next month, exercise time. The interesting thing is that I haven’t adjusted what time I go to bed by much, so this has actually added 90 minutes to my day.

It’s been interesting. I’m dead tired at 9PM, but I’m surprisingly wide awake by 5:30. It hasn’t been nearly as hard as I had feared. I’m looking forward to spring, when I can greet the sunrise.

Reading hasn’t gone as well. At the beginning of the month, I told the girls I would read to them every night. We started out wonderfully. Then, the real world came in uninvited. I had a meeting at school that ran late. My son’s wrestling season started. Things just kept getting in the way of a bedtime story. The solution? We modified the deal. It’s not a bedtime story any more. I am reading to the girls whenever there is time. I may not be home at bedtime every day, but I am certainly home at other times. We’re making it happen, even if it’s not exactly as planned.

It’s just a demonstration of the old rule: Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. A small amount of flexibility has turned a potentially failed goal into happy family time. It’s still a win.
How are your resolutions progressing?

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-03-20

Misc

Crap. Replacing the power jack on my laptop means ordering out for the piece. #
@mymoneyshrugged Engraved pocket knives were a hit with my groomsmen. in reply to mymoneyshrugged #
Movies that force previews suck. Dangit, Invention of Lying. #
RT @Lynnae Carnival of Personal Finance #148 http://bit.ly/adRZQo #
@jimmyjohns – 35 minutes is not "so fast I'll freak". #
@jimmyjohns "Can you send the store info to bit.ly/jjfeedback? Thx!" – Done. Normally service is excellent. in reply to jimmyjohns #
Pizzeria with the family. Yum! #
RT @FrugalYankee: Fact: In 1873, there were 4131 beer breweries pumping in the US. 1973 only 41 brewers operating 89 plants. Now around 1500 #
Mango pudding is the king of all nummy. #

What’s In Your Wallet?

Finance, Life

: Image via Wikipedia

Seeing Crystal play copycat made me want to play, too.

This won’t take long. I quit carrying a wallet a few months ago in favor of a Slim-Clip. That helps eliminate wallet clutter.

Here goes nothing:

$0. I usually carry a $150 or so all the time. I haven’t made it to the bank in a few days, and I spent my last $7 on parking.
USBank Flex Perks VISA check card. 0.5% back on all purchases and, theoretically, up to 25% back on some.
Penfed Platinum Cash Rewards VISA card. 1% on everything, 2% on groceries, 5% on gas. We don’t use this much, since we are primarily a cash family.
Driver’s license.
My health insurance card.
Wells Fargo VISA debit card for my business account.
Expired health insurance card.
Car insurance cards. Car, truck, and motorcycle. 1 expired and 1 valid for each.
AAA card.
Carry permit.
Business cards for 2 attorneys.
Dental insurance card.

If I go through the rest of my pockets, I have a pocket knife, 16 cents, a Gerber Artifact, and my library card.

Including my jacket pockets will add a Cold Steel Sharkie, business cards, a lighter, another pocket knife, a fingernail clipper, a small moleskin notebook, a ticket to Evil Dead: The Musical and matching brochure, a pad of checks, hand-sanitizing wipes, and a diaper to the list.

Now that I’ve gone through my stuff, I threw out the expired cards. My jacket will certainly accumulate more stuff over the winter, but it’s spent the last 6 months in the closet.

What’s in your wallet?

Consumer Action Handbook

Finance

: Image by ivers via Flickr

The Consumer Action Handbook is a book published by the federal government for the express purpose of giving you “the most current information on all your consumer needs.” In short, the Consumer Action Handbook wants to help you with everything that takes your money.

The best part? It’s free.

The book covers topics ranging from banking to health care to cell phones to estate planning. It covers both covering your butt in a transaction and filing a complaint if things go poorly. It explains the options and pitfalls involved in buying, renting, leasing, or fixing a car. You can learn about financial aid for college and maneuvering through an employment agency. And more. So much more.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I spend quite a bit of time explaining scams and how to avoid them. This book has provided some of the source material for that theme.

It’s 170 pages on not getting screwed, either through fraud or ignorance. Every house should have one. Really, the list of consumer and regulatory agencies alone is worth the price of admission, which–if I wasn’t clear earlier–is $0.

To get yours, go to http://www.consumeraction.gov/caw_orderhandbook.shtml and fill out the form. You can order up to 10 at a time, so pick a few up for your friends and family. They won’t complain, I promise.

Fixing Your Credit Report

Finance

Sometimes, negative things appear on your credit report. Usually, they do a good job of maintaining

Credit card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

accuracy, but mistakes do happen. The creditor or the reporting agency may screw up, or you may have your identity stolen. If either of these situations are true, you’ll want to correct your credit report, making yourself eligible for lower rates on future credit and, occasionally, lowering the cost of things like auto insurance.

If you throw “credit repair” into Google, you get 18 million hits. Most of those are either outright scams or hopelessly optimistic about what they can accomplish. As I said once before:

Credit Repair is almost always a scam. There are ways to get correct bad information removed from your credit report. If the information is correct, those methods are illegal. There are two legal methods to repair your credit. First, stop generating bad credit. Make your payments on time and eventually, the bad items will fall off. Second, write letters disputing the actual incorrect items on your credit report. There are no quick fixes, and anybody telling you different is flirting with a jail sentence, possibly yours.

There are ways to avoid the scammers.

Avoid advance-fee credit repair. If they are any good, you will pay for results, not intentions. If they charge beforehand, they are already breaking the law.
If they insist they can erase the accurate, but negative information, run away.
If they tell you to dispute everything negative, even the accurate information, run away.
If they tell you to create a new credit identity, don’t just run, report them. It’s a felony.

Legally, you cannot get valid information removed from your credit report. Anyone who tells you differently is advocating a crime. However, according to the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA), you are entitled dispute incorrect records.

To verify the accuracy of your credit report, you need to see it. You can get a free report if your credit is used to deny you for something. This is known as an “adverse action” . You have 60 days from the denial to request the report. You can also get one free report from each of the major credit bureaus each year. I space out these requests so I see my credit report every 4 months.

If there is inaccurate information on your report, dispute it in writing. Send a letter to the credit bureau that is reporting the error. Explain the problem and politely demand an investigation. They will contact the creditor, who usually has 30 days to respond. In the meantime, send a dispute letter to the creditor, along with proof of the inaccuracy. If the investigation does not go your way, the creditor will have to report the dispute status to the credit bureaus in the future.

If the negative items are accurate, there is only one way to get it off of your report legally: Wait. Most negative information can only be reported for 7 years, while a bankruptcy will be reported for 10.

Another way to build your credit in the face of negative credit is to start building good credit to overshadow the bad. Get a credit card. Your first credit card from the bottom of the debt-barrel will probably be a gas card or a store-branded credit card. That’s fine. The main consideration is are low or nonexistent fees. Don’t accept application fees, activation fees, fees for carrying a balance or fees for not carrying a balance. Annual fees are becoming a fact of life, so look for low fees. The interest rate does not matter. You will be paying this card off immediately, meaning no less often that every two weeks. Make sure every penny is paid during the grace period, and make sure your card comes with a grace period. Some don’t. Those are bad cards to get.

There are no quick fixes for bad credit, just good new habits and time.

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