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Expensive Cheese
Saturday morning, I woke up to a room-temperature refrigerator. I dislike drinking milk that’s 40 degrees warmer than I’m used to.
We called the repairman who showed up at 9PM and poked around in the fridge for a bit before announcing that he didn’t have the needed parts in his truck.
The parts came Monday. The next repairman got there Tuesday afternoon. For those of you keeping track at home, that’s nearly 4 days without a refrigerator.
That poor bacon.
Tuesday’s repairman didn’t think highly of Saturday’s. Apparently, the two parts Saturday ordered never go bad at the same time, so he was guessing.
He also didn’t notice the slice of individually wrapped American cheese that had slipped between a shelf and one of the cold-air vents, preventing any air flow at all.
Grr.
I wish I would have noticed that on Saturday. I now own the most expensive cheese in the world. It’s not Pule, which comes in at $616 per pound. This lowly slice of American cheese cost me nearly $200. At one ounce per slice, that’s $3200 per pound. Of course, I’m counting the lost food. My hamburger, eggs, bacon, milk, and mayonnaise are gone, along with every other perishable bit of food we had on hand.
I don’t know how much the repairs cost. Saturday’s visit, minus the parts, was billed at $95. I didn’t see the total for Tuesday’s visit.
We pay for a repair plan through our gas company. For around $15 per month, we get a list of appliances protected. We don’t have to worry about our washer, dryer, water softener, stove, refrigerator, or our sewer main. Assuming Tuesday’s visit was billed the same as Saturday’s, this one repair paid for the plan for an entire year. When you count our sewer main–which backs up with tree roots once a year and costs at least $200 to fix–the repair plan is definitely worth it for us.
When we get tenants in my mother-in-law’s house, we’ll have the repair plan set up there, too.
Do you use any kind of repair plan? How is it working out for you?
Slumlord Update
We’re six weeks into our new lives as slumlords. Our tenants moved in late in January for a lease that started February first.
Our tenants are paying $1200/month for a two bedroom, 1 bathroom house and 2 of the 3 stalls in the garage. This is in a first ring suburb. The house itself is a bit under 2 miles from the border of Minneapolis.
The rent is on the lower end of the curve for the size and location, and my wife has known the tenants for years.
Of the $1200 we get each month, here are our fixed expenses:
- Water/sewer/garbage: $170 per quarter
- Property taxes: $2359 for last year
That’s $253.25 per month we pay for the property.
The tenants pay gas, electric, and cable.
That leaves $946.75 in profit for us each month. Yay!
But wait.
Two days after moving in, the new boiler went out. It was a pain in the butt, but the company fixed it for free. They even loaned our tenants some space heaters, since this happened when it was -20 degrees Fahrenheit.
A couple of days after that, the drain pipes coming from the bathtub gave out. Eighty-year-old cast-iron pipes do that. $325 for that fix.
The paint we put in the kitchen is peeling? $250 and a day of painting.
Part of our project with Sammy has him maintaining the property. For the winter months, he’s been cleaning out the snow every time it falls. $425 for February and March. Welcome to Minnesota. I’m not sure this is going to be a continuing part of the property service next winter.
Sink clogged further down that we can reach with our pipe snake? $125.
3 feet of snow melting faster than the ground underneath is thawing, allowing water to seep through the basement walls? We don’t know, yet. That fix has to wait until the snow is gone.
Of the $1893.50 “profit” we’ve received so far, we’ve had to pay out $1125. Of the remaining $768.50, we’re setting aside $500 per month for future repairs, which we expect to keep making for at least a few months.
Hooray for a -$231.50 profit! It makes all of the work for the last 10 months worth it.
Giving Up The Magic
It’s a sad day when kids stop believing in Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and fairies.
Not because I enjoy lying to my kids, but because–on the day they stop believing–a piece of their innocence is lost. An unforgettable, valuable part of childhood dies.
Believing in magic is a beautiful thing.
Do you remember the last time you looked around the world with a sense of wonder? When seeing a puppy form in the clouds was a miracle? When the idea of an ant carrying 1000 times its own weight was something worth watching? When the impossible goodness of a fat man squeezing down your chimney fills you with hope instead of making you call 911?
Do I believe in Santa?
Of course not, but I believe the concept of Santa is worthy of my children’s belief. I don’t want them to lose that innocence and wonder.
When my teenager was young, he asked if Santa was real. I responded by asking what he thought. When he told me he didn’t believe, I offered to let Santa know. His panic told me he wasn’t ready to give up the magic.
The day that conversation didn’t cause a panic, he looked hurt, like he’d lost something precious. He had.
His world of magic was gone.
The he asked why I had spent his lifetime lying to him. I told him the truth. I said I couldn’t bear to be the one to shatter his belief in magic before he was ready.
Then, I informed him that he was in on the conspiracy. He was not allowed to ruin it for anyone else. Not his sisters, not his friends.
That Christmas, my little boy helped me stuff stockings, which was an odd feeling.
The magic was over, but we still got to share the magic of his cousins and sisters.
Posting rate
For the new year, I am setting a new posting schedule.
I’ve been posting for a month, and started with half a dozen articles. There is a decent base of reading material. Now, I need to be posting at a sustainable level that will allow me time with my family and allow me to pursue some opportunities.
From now on, I will be posting 3 times each week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. There will still be other miscellaneous updates, especially regarding my year of 30-Day Projects. The twitter summary on Saturday is automated.
Happy New Year!
Cthulhu’s Guide to Finance
This is a guest post from Cthulhu, written in his house at R’lyeh. In the eons of his imprisonment, he has never contributed a blog post…until now. Be nice, this is his first post ever.
Cthulhu fhtagn. Cthulhu waits. Eons in R’lyeh–dead but dreaming–have taught me well the virtue of patience. Rush not into the abyss of hasty decisions.Lie patiently until the stars align and you can once again dominate your investments. As much as I despise virtues, patience is the one I practice.
Just as looking upon my form may cost you your sanity, obsessing over your finances may cost your loved ones the same. Instead, set your finances on a path of prosperity and work to hasten my return. Spend less than you earn. Earn more than you need. Give the rest to me.
Use the Shoggoth. Thought the postules of greenish light light may disgust those who have never devoured an entire planet, they are good for menial work. Use them, or their demented cousin, the automatic payment, to pay your bills. Set them to the task of making sure all of your bills are paid on time, leaving you free for more productive works. Do not, however, make the mistake of Ubbo-Sathla, whose fecundity spawned the vermin prototype known as homo sapiens. Keep your Shoggoth under control so they do not spend what you have not yet earned.
Avoid the Deep Ones. When dealing with the paramount evil(though I shouldn’t say that as a bad thing) of lenders, beware my servants. If they catch you in over your head, you will be screwed. If you cannot pay the price, there will be fees and punishments galore. A proper Cthulhu-fest of Chaos and Mayhem at your expense! A pound of flesh for every dollar not paid will be the standard when I arise, but for now, it is $39 for missing a payment or spending more than your limit.
“The only saving grace of the present is that it’s too damned stupid to question the past very closely.” This quote by my favorite historian demonstrates the futility of your mortal existence. If you learn from your mistakes, or–less painfully–the mistakes of others, you will grow as a person. Personal growth is entirely at odds with my goals as the Greater Evil. Learning from your mistakes will prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future. Einstein once said “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” is the definition of insanity. That, or looking upon my form. One of those acts can be avoided. It is in your best interests to avoid insanity, at least until I awaken.
So many of those inhabiting my Earthly domain seem to suffer from my get Ghatanothoa‘s curse–absolute petrification in the face of their travails. When faced with a foe, fight! Do not collapse under the burden of your debts! Work! An inch, a dollar, a pound at a time: Defeat it! Do not quit and do not give up. Cthulhu does not forget or forgive.
That is the wisdom brought forth from my dead-but-dreaming slumber in R’yleh. Read it, understand it, follow it. It will serve you well until my return.
This post has been resurrected because I want to see it on the front page again.
