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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
Effective next week, we are officially a single-income family.
If you can count all of my side-hustles as “single income”.
This week, my wife did the paperwork for her final week of state-sponsored unemployment. She also applied for the federal extension, but that’s not automatic.
In a nutshell, this reduces our monthly income by $1340.
What does that mean for us?
1. Our truck, which I was hoping to have paid off by March(3 months ago), still has about 7 regular-sized payments left. Instead of making double payments, we’re now making the schedule amount. The reason for the payoff delay is another post entirely. Savings: $400. In a pinch, we could stop making payments for almost 3 years due to how much we’ve already paid.
2. The riding lessons I use to spoil my girls are cut in half. Instead of weekly lessons, we’re going bi-weekly. Savings: $100. In a pinch, this could go away completely.
3. We had a conversation that included, “Honey, when I complain that you bought more than our weekly budget of food in one trip, I’m not being a dick. Here’s how much money we have.” That conversation appears to have been productive.
4. No vacation this year. We let our spending jump a couple of times this year, so last week, I dropped most of our vacation fund to make up for it. The expense of being matron-of-honor at a wedding will be an upcoming post, too.
[Edit]
5. My wife is working at our daycare provider 2 days per week in exchange for daycare discounts. Financially, this isn’t perfect, but it cuts the cost and gets the girls out of the house. I work from home and have a hard time keeping them out of the office.
6. We are considering long-term stay-at-home status for my wife.
[End Edit]
Right now, our budget says we make $100 more than we spend. That includes all of our savings goals, and setting aside money for some luxuries like our Halloween party. We’re not hurting–which makes me happy–but we do have to watch our expenses in a way that has just become mandatory.
I can’t tell you how happy I am to have renters. Between our roommate here and the renters in the house we fixed up last year, we’re adding about $1000 to our income. Rent is keeping us cash-flow positive.
Today is the 33rd anniversary of the death of Elvis, so I’m bringing you the “Elvis is Dead” edition of the Carnival of Personal Finance.
What can the King teach us about finance? The immediate lesson is, of course, to not let success destroy you or your life. Always remember what is important.
“Adversity is sometimes hard upon a man; but for one man who can stand prosperity, there are a hundred that will stand adversity.” -Elvis Presley
Before we get into the carnival, please take a moment to subscribe, either by rss or by email. If you are on twitter, please follow me at @LiveRealNow.
“When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times…I learned very early in life that: ‘Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain’t got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend – without a song.’ So I keep singing a song. Goodnight. Thank you.”
-From his acceptance speech for the 1970 Ten Outstanding Young Men of the Nation Award. Given at a ceremony on January 16, 1971
Craig Ford from Money Help For Christians presents How to Buy Cars With Cash. This is great advice. My car will be paid off in the next few months and I will be doing exactly this.
FMF from Free Money Finance presents Are Tattoos at Work Really That Acceptable? Do tattoos limit your career? I reference this graphic when thinking about a tattoo.
Pop from Pop Economics presents Getting a raise: The negotiation. It’s always best to raise your top line as high as possible. Bringing in more money is far more effective that simply reducing your expenses.
With the new year looming, it’s the perfect time to review the things that may not have gone as well as planned in the current year, and plan ahead for the coming year, to make sure things go well from now on.
To get a good start in the new year, you should focus on three things.
A good budget is the basis of every successful financial plan. If you don’t have a budget, you have now way of knowing how much money you have to spend on your necessities or you luxuries. Do you really want to guess about whether or not you can afford to get your car fixed, or braces for your kid? I’ve gone over all of the essentials to make a budget before. Now is the perfect time to review that series and make sure your own budget is functional and ready for the new year.
At the same time, spend some time thinking about how your what has gone wrong with your budget over the previous year. In my case, when we got back from vacation in August, our mindset had changed a bit about spending money, and we got out of the habit of staying strictly on budget. By the time we got back on track, it was Christmas and our plans got shot, again. If it weren’t for my side hustles–money that I don’t track in the budget because the money isn’t consistent, yet–we would have had some serious problems this fall. Where have you gone wrong, and what could you do to improve next year?
In the new year, if you haven’t already done so, make sure you throw your credit cards away. The most basic law of debt reduction is, “If you don’t stop using debt, you’ll never be out of debt.” That’s why you need to set up your budget first. Make sure that your expenses are less than your income, so you can make ends meet without having to charge the difference.
How has your debt use worked out over the last year? Have you used it at all, or have you eliminated the desire to pay interest? What have you used your credit cards for? How much of that could you have done without?
Now is the time to make sure that all affairs are in order, if the worst should happen. If you die, what happens to your money? Your kids? I’ve gone over everything you need in an estate plan before, so I won’t beat that horse again. You owe it to your family to make sure they are taken care of if something should happen to you. At a bare minimum, write a will and get it notarized.
Have you putting off writing your will? You know you need one, but it’s a morbid thought, so it’s easy to put off, right? Get over it. If you love your family, you’ll do better and get your affairs together next year.
That’s a good financial start for 2011. What are you missing in your financial life?
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
-Duncan Idaho, from God-Emperor of Dune
Some people suck the life out of everyone they encounter. Whether it be through lies, unreasonable demands, emotional abuse or manipulation, or just a vile personalty, the people they meet are worse off for the encounter. The people they interact with every day are screwed.
My time is too precious to waste any of it unnecessarily on people who remove value from it. I like being with people who enrich my life, instead.
Unfortunately, since I’m not an advocate for the use of hitmen, not every toxic person is easy to eliminate from your life.
Toxic people come in 3 basic varieties: professional, personal, and family. There is some overlap between the categories.
The personal category is easiest to deal with. These people aren’t relatives or coworkers, so you won’t see them at family gatherings or at work. I’ve dealt with these people in two ways.
First, there is the direct approach. One former friend, who was really only a friend when it was convenient for him(a pure leech), got told that he wasn’t invited to one of our parties because I was inviting his ex-wife, instead. That was the last time he called me.
The second option is far more passive. I set up a contact group in my phone called “Life’s too short”. At first, I set it up with a fairly insulting ring tone, but I later switched it to no ring at all. I don’t know they’ve called until I check my voicemail. It’s far less direct, but also far easier than the direct approach.
Dealing with the toxic people in your family is more complicated. You’ll see them at holiday gatherings, or hear about them during unrelated visits. You probably have a lot of memories growing up with them, and may feel some level of obligation–deserved or not–to maintain contact. It’s hard to break a tie that you’ve had your entire life.
Can you fix their behavior? It’s worth trying to have a frank discussion about how they are treating you, or the things they are doing. If the problem is that they are constantly bringing over their methhead boyfriends, banning the drug addicts from your home, while still welcoming the relative may be an acceptable fix. If the problem is a constant need to belittle you, demanding they stop may work. If the problem is a lifetime of emotional abuse, it probably isn’t fixable.
Is banishment an option? Can you put that creepy cousin on the Life’s Too Short list? You’ll still have to deal with him at family gatherings, but you can always leave the room when he comes in, right? Don’t engage, don’t participate in any conversation beyond a polite greeting, and don’t offer any encouragement towards regular contact.
It’s possible that it won’t be possible to fix their behavior and that you won’t want to banish the offender. If, for example, the offender is your mother (Not you, Mom!), you may feel a sense of obligation to maintain contact, or even be a primary caregiver at times. This is a line nobody else can draw for you. At some point, the current bad behavior could overwhelm the past obligations. When that happens are you prepared for it? That can be a traumatic break.
The other option, as cold as it sounds, is to wait it out. Nature will take its course, eventually. Can you wait that long, while maintaining your sanity and emotional equilibrium?
Professional toxic people include customers, vendors, and coworkers, none of whom are easy to get rid of.
If you own the business, you can fire your problem customers if the hassle outweighs the benefits you get from the relationship. You can find a new vendor, and you can fire the problem employees.
What happens if you are an employee?
If the problem is your boss, your options are to suck it up, talk to his boss, or find a new job. If the first is intolerable, and the second is impossible, it’s time to polish your resume.
If the problem is a vendor, you’ve got some options. Document the problems, first. Does he make inappropriate jokes, or badmouth you to your customers? Then, research the alternatives. Does one of his competitors offer an equivalent product or service? Take the documentation and research to your boss, or whoever makes that decision, and see if you can get your company to make the switch. The other option, is to request someone new to deal with at the vendor’s company, but that may not always be possible.
Finally, we come to the problem of toxic coworkers.
Some coworkers have the same problems as a toxic boss. Is the company vice-president the boss’s baby brother? You’re probably not going to find a win there. You’ll have to suck it up or move on.
Is the problem person working in an unrelated department doing unrelated tasks? It may be possible to start taking breaks at different times and leave him where he belongs: in the past.
Is the difficult individual sharing an office with you, demanding everything be done his way, and throwing daily tantrums? This is the one that has to be dealt with. He’s the one sucking the life out of you every single day.
First, start making use of a voice recorder. If you’ve got a smartphone, you’ve probably already got one. Otherwise, drop the $20 to buy one. This lets you document the evil. When his behavior goes hinky, record it.
Second, stand up for yourself. If he’s making unreasonable demands, tell him it’s inappropriate. He’s a bully, and bullies tend to back down when they are confronted.
Third, make sure the boss knows about the behavior. Yes, this is tattling. Get over it. If he wasn’t acting like he was a spoiled 4 year old, you wouldn’t have to tell the boss that he was. If the boss doesn’t know there’s a problem, he can’t deal with it.
Fourth, for any problem that isn’t directly aimed at you, ignore it. If he makes a habit of throwing a tantrum because somebody emptied the coffee pot, or because the company switched health plans, let him. Only get in the way if it’s directed at you. Over time, the tantrums will get more noticeable and out of hand, forcing the boss to deal with it, preferably by handing him a pink slip.
Your goal is documentation, awareness, and avoidance. Make the worst of it go elsewhere so you can be as productive as possible, document what you can, and let the boss become aware of the situation and how bad it has become. And be patient. This isn’t an overnight fix.
How do you deal with the toxic people in your life?
It’s been a month since I’ve written a post for the budget series, so I’ll be continuing that today. See these posts for the history of this series.
This time, I’ll be reviewing my non-monthly bills. These are the bills that have to be paid, but aren’t due on a monthly basis. Some are annual, some are quarterly.
Reviewing this list, there doesn’t seem to be too much I can cut and accomplish any meaningful savings. Am I missing something?