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The Magic Toilet
My toilet is saving me $1200.
For a long time, my toilet ran. It was a nearly steady stream of money slipping down the drain. I knew that replacing the flapper was a quick job, but it was easy to ignore. If I wasn’t in the bathroom, I couldn’t hear it. If I was in the bathroom, I was otherwise occupied.
When I finally got sick of it, I started researching how to fix a running toilet because I had never done it before. I found the HydroRight Dual-Flush Converter. It’s the magical push-button, two-stage flusher. Yes, science fiction has taken over my bathroom. Or at least my toilet.
I bought the dual-flush converter, which replaces the flusher and the flapper. It has two buttons, which each use different amounts of water, depending on what you need it to do. I’m sure there’s a poop joke in there somewhere, but I’m pretending to have too much class to make it.
I also bought the matching fill valve. This lets you set how much water is allowed into the tank much better than just putting a brick in the tank. It’s a much faster fill and has a pressure nozzle that lies on the bottom of the tank. Every time you flush, it cleans the inside of the tank. Before I put it in, it had been at least 5 years since I had opened the tank. It was black. Two weeks later, it was white again. I wouldn’t want to eat off of it, or drink the water, but it was a definite improvement.
Installation would have been easier if the calcium buildup hadn’t welded the flush handle to the tank. That’s what reciprocating saws are for, though. That, and scaring my wife with the idea of replacing the toilet. Once the handle was off, it took 15 minutes to install.
“Wow”, you say? “Where’s the $1200”, you say? We’ve had this setup, which cost $35.42, since June 8th, 2010. It’s now September. That’s summer. We’ve watered both the lawn and the garden and our quarterly water bill has gone down $30, almost paying for the poo-gadget already. $30 X 4 = $120 per year, or $1200 over 10 years.
Yes, it will take a decade, but my toilet is saving me $1200.
Charity is Selfish
I try to give 10% of my income to charity. I don’t succeed every year, but I do try.
I don’t give because I’m generous. I give because I’m selfish.
If you give to charity, you are too.
I’m not talking about people who give to charity strictly for the tax deduction, though that is selfish too. I’m referring specifically to the people who give to charity out of the goodness of their hearts.
If I give a thousand dollars worth of clothes to a homeless shelter, I get a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that I helped people stay warm.
If I send $100 to the Red Cross for whatever terrible disaster happened shortly before I made the donation, it makes me feel good to have contributed to saving those lives.
The put-the-inner-city-kids-on-a-horse thing we do? Makes me happy to get those kids into a positive situation.
Donating blood? Yay, me! I’m saving lives!
While it’s nice to help other people, that’s not the ultimate reason I’m doing it. I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to help other people, particularly people who–for whatever reason–can’t help themselves.
That’s the basis of altruism. It’s not about helping others, it’s about feeling good about helping others.
The truly selfish, the evil dogooders, are the ones who want to raise taxes to give it away as “charity”. They get to feel like they are doing something and helping others while not actually contributing themselves and, at the same time, stealing that warm fuzzy feeling from the people who are providing the money to start with.
Evil.
Charity has to be done at a personal, local level or the benefits to the giver are eliminated while the benefits to the receiver are lessened. Bureaucracy doesn’t create efficiency.
For the record, if it’s taken by force, by tax, it isn’t charity. Charity cannot be forced. Forcing charity is, at best, a fraudulent way for petty politicians, bureaucrats, lobbyists, and activists to feel they have power over others.
Again, evil.
Anchor Price Your Salary
Conventional wisdom says that, when negotiating your salary or a raise, you should make whatever crazy ninja maneuvers it takes to get the other person to name a number first.
Horse pellets.
Have you ever watched an infomercial? Those masters of of impulse marketing geared towards insomniacs, invalids, and inebriates?
“How much would you pay for this fabulous meat tenderizer/eyelash waxer? $399? $299? No! If you call within the next 73 seconds, we will let you take this home for the low, low price of just $99.99!”
That’s the magic of anchor pricing.
The first number you hear is the number you will base all further numbers on. If you hear a high number, other lower numbers will feel much lower by comparison. The number doesn’t even have to be about money.
There was a study done that had the subjects compare a price to the last two digits of their social security numbers. Those with higher digits found higher prices to be acceptable, while those with lower prices only accepted cheaper prices.
What does an infomercial marketing ploy have to do with your salary?
If you are negotiating your salary and your potential employer gives a lowball offer, every higher counteroffer after that will much, much higher than than it would otherwise. On the other hand, if you start with your “perfect” salary, they amount you will be happy to settle for won’t seem to be nearly as high to the employer. At the same time, you will be less likely to accept a lowball offer if you set your anchor price high.
For example, if you are looking to make $50,000:
The employer offers you $40,000. $60,000 seems too high by comparison, so you counter with $50,000, then compromise and settler for $45,000. Or, you could start at $60,000, making the employer feel that $40,000 is too low, so he counters with $45,000, leaving a compromise at $52,000. That’s a hypothetical $7,000 boost, just for bucking conventional wisdom and taking a cue from the marketing industry.
How have you negotiated your salary?
How Much is Your Pet Worth?
A few years ago, one of our cats had a urinary tract blockage. When that happened, the cat’s bladder became almost rock-hard. He was in pain.
Naturally, this came to our attention late on a Saturday evening. Our choices were to leave the cat in pain or head to the emergency vet. One x-ray, one emergency catheter, and 2 nights in the vet’s office later, we charged the $750 bill and brought the cat home. He lived about two more years and had to be on a special UT-friendly diet. He spent the next two years with poor bladder control and very little energy.
About the same time, I had a coworker with a cancer-ridden cat. Until that time, I had no idea that you could get chemotherapy for a cat. Between the chemo and the regular surgeries to remove tumors, they were dropping a few thousand dollars every few months.
Recently, a friend’s cat ate a ball of twine and narrowly avoided intestinal surgery that would have cost $2500. He was willing to pay instead of seeing his 8 year old cry. I figured a new kitten would soothe her hurt.
How much is too much to spend on an animal?
When our cat needed a trip to the fuzzy emergency room, we had no savings. I’m not sure how we were keeping our bills paid. $750 was a lot of money, but we didn’t hesitate. Afterward, we discussed it and decided that it wouldn’t happen again. When a pet needed that much care, it would be time to put it down.
We’ve currently got a 17 year old arthritic cat. I tried discussing its end-of-life options, but my wife looked at me like I was asking her to punt bunnies into a lake. I fear we’re going to be paying a lot to stretch out the end of the cat’s life.
Now, before anyone tells me that I hate animals, we have 5 cats, 3 kids, 2 gerbils, 2 pythons, and a dog. We are an animal-friendly house. Or we keep spares.
That said, it’s the natural order of things. People outlive their pets. When you buy a pet–with the exception of giant tortoises and some birds–some part of you knows you are going to outlive it. What’s the right amount to spend, trying to stretch out the most uncomfortable years of a pet? When does the financial burden outweigh the companionship? When do I go from cold-hearted jerk to financially-responsible pet-owner?
For the pet owners out there, how have you dealt with this? How much would you spend to keep your pets kicking?
What do you do?
You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your ******* khakis. -Tyler Durden
“What do you do?”
They typical answer is usually something like “I’m a computer programmer.” Or a DJ, a cop, a barista, a stripper, or whatever.
The answer is always given in the context of work. Is work the center of your life? Is your career the most important thing you have? For many, it is. Our jobs become a fully integrated piece of our identities. Even when we pay lip-service to putting our families first, all too often, we spend more of our waking hours working than actually living.
We spend 40, 50, 60 hours each week at our jobs. It’s natural for that to become a part of us.
We go too far.
I am not my job. I am not my career.
I am a father, a husband, a writer, a blogger, and more. I have hopes, dreams, and ambitions entirely apart from my career.
I hope you do, too.
The next time someone asks you what you do, try responding with your passion.
“I’m a parent.”
“I grow freaking awesome roses.”
“I travel whenever I can.”
“I obsess over politics.”
Leave the tradition work-centric script behind. You’re going to confuse the people who are expecting it. They think they are asking about your job and you are responding with something that truly matters to you.
What do you do?