Live Real, Now

The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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How You’re Finding Me

Misc

Every once in a while, I like to dig through Google Analytics and see how  people are finding this site.   Some of the search terms are interesting.

“father of three” mid life crisis

Here’s a free piece of advice.  As a father of three, you don’t get to have a mid-life crisis.  It’s not allowed.  Rather, it’s allowed, but you aren’t allowed to act on it.   At a minimum, until your children are out of the house, you need to man up and provide all of the support you possibly can.  No sports cars you can’t afford and no 22 year old hardbodies.   Be there for your kids.

“payday loans” which accepts guest posts

Payday loan marketing.   Just go away.  You aren’t running a guest post here.

“slow carb” hungry all the time

You’re doing it wrong.  If you are hungry, eat more bacon.   Or beans.   Beans fill you up longer.

$1000000 business idea

Ideas are the easy part.  Execution makes you a millionaire.

articles on why appearance shouldn’t matter?

Appearances do matter, and always will.  Your appearance is what makes the initial impression when you meet someone new.  You don’t have to be a model, but basic grooming and fashion sense is necessary.   Take this with a grain of salt.  I’ve got a week’s growth of a beard and I wear a different plaid, button-down shirt every day.

are push ups supposed to be hard

Only the first 50.  After that, I kind of go on blissed-out autopilot.  If you can do 100 pushups, you can probably do 200.

acceptable place to put tattoo

If you wear clothes there, you can put a tattoo there.   Visible tattoos are called “job stoppers” for a reason.  If you put a tattoo on your face, the only job you qualify for is “drug dealer’s girlfriend”.   Or possibly prison janitor.

burning bridges with toxic people

If you must burn bridges, filling them with toxic people first isn’t a bad idea.

candied pork butt

Rule 34:  If it exists, there is porn of it.  Interesting side story: while double-checking the rule number, I stumbled across My Little Ponies doing things they never advertise on the box.

cut my wife’s hair

I did this once.   Pro tip:  In the back, at the bottom, cut small chunks and leave them longer than you think they should be.  You can always cut more, but uncutting hair is really hard.

f***** on the roadside by your mechanic

He probably deserves a tip for that.

girls fart for money and girls live farts

See the bit about the pork butt, remove the funny, and…ewww.

how to be a successful debtor

I recommend starting by paying your bills.  When the debts are gone, you win.  Success!

i ate bacon on slow carb diet

So did everyone else, sweetie.  It’s the biggest draw to the slow carb diet.

in memory of pets tattoos

When I get a pet, I get it with the understanding that I’m going to outlive it.   The day I bring it home, some small part of me is preparing for the day when I have to dig a hole in my backyard.   Tattooing that day?  Not gonna happen.

thickening felt behind testicle

Why are you on google?  Go to the doctor.  Please?

Interesting.  Between girls farting and my post about being well-trained, there is a significant amount of fetish traffic coming through here.  Maybe I need to explore a new advertising strategy.

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Budget Lesson, Part 5

Finance

I’ve explained my budget in some detail already.  See these posts for the history of this series.

Now, I’m going to go through each section, reviewing ways that I can reduce, or have reduced, my spending.  I’ll be starting with my monthly payments.

  • House Payment – I’ve mentioned that we have a small house payment.    A few years ago, when the interest rates dropped to almost the lowest point they reached in that particular cycle, we refinanced and got in under 5%.   There is nothing to cut.  We won’t refinance again, and the loan will be paid within 7 years, according to the lender’s schedule.  I’m aiming for 4 years.
  • Netflix – We’re on the 2 DVD/unlimited plan for $13.99.  We could drop down to the single DVD plan, but I’m worried that will trigger a rash of movie-buying.  2-at-a-time scratches that itch well.  I don’t think we’ll be reducing this plan in the foreseeable future. [Read more…] about Budget Lesson, Part 5

Budget Lesson, Part 8

Finance

This is a continuation of the budget series. See these posts for the history of this series.

This time, I’m looking at our discretionary budget. These are the things that don’t have a fixed cost. Any individual item is largely optional, and, ultimately, we don’t track these purchases closely. At the beginning of the month, I pull this money out of the bank in cash, except for 1 category. When the discretionary budget is gone, it’s gone.

  • Groceries/Dining  – At the beginning of the week, we sit down with a meal planner and (Can you guess?) plan our meals.  The planner we use has a weekly calendar with a checklist below each day to build the grocery list.  At the bottom of the page is another checklist for staples that don’t apply to a specific day’s meal, like milk or snacks.   We build the list, then transfer it to another sheet, broken out by grocery department.  That keeps me from having to criss-cross the store.   I make one lap.  When I go to the store, I only bring that week’s grocery budget in cash,  so I keep close track of how much is going into the cart.    Recently, we’ve gotten so good at making our meals cheaply from scratch that I reduced our monthly food budget by $50.   I enjoy good food, so I wouldn’t reduce this budget item if it was a sacrifice in quality.   For example, the Rainbow Foods store-brand chips actually taste better than Lay’s for half of the price.    We stock up when things are on sale and cook creatively.   Sometimes, if time has been too tight to make a meal plan, we eat solely from the pantry for a week, buying nothing but bread and milk.   By sticking to the list, and not fearing the store’s brand, we are able to feed our family of 5 1/2 for $450 per month and still eat well.
  • Discretionary  – This is for the random things that come up, and some of the not-so-random.   Toiletries, activity fees, admissions, and fund-raisers all come out of this fund.  At the end of the month, whatever is left gets tucked into a box and forgotten.   When the box gets full, it goes to the bank to be applied to debt. There isn’t a lot to cut here, since this line-item is only $200.
  • Baby stuff  – This category is continually shrinking.   Our middle kid is recently potty-trained and our youngest is trying.   There is no baby food and no formula, just 1 pack of diapers every month.   In 6 months, this category will be eliminated.
  • Gas/oil  – This is the single category that isn’t cash-based.   It makes no sense to take the kids out of the car to pay inside, especially in the winter.    Also, all of the temptation is inside. It’s much better to spend the money at the pump.    There isn’t much we can do to reduce this, at the moment.   Our next car won’t be a full-sized pickup, but we are several years from that purchase.    We’ve started clipping oil-change coupons to keep this down to the minimum amount possible.
  • Clothes  – We only allocate $15 per month for clothes.   In a good month, we don’t spend it.   We can’t eliminate it completely, because things do come up.   Over the summer, I’m hoping to completely leave it alone to save up for a new(used) winter jacket for our older daughter, who doesn’t get hand-me-downs.
  • Blow Money  – This is the safety valve.  It can’t get reduced and still work.

We’ve now addressed out entire budget, including what we can do and have done to keep our costs under control.  Looking back, I don’t see too many cuts I’ve missed.

Money Problems – Day 7: Paying Off Debt

Finance

Scottsturgis unicorn
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Today, I am continuing the  series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances.   The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances.  It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear.  Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days.  That’s not my schedule.  Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us.   Instead, it will run roughly once a week.  To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

On this, Day 7, we’re going to talk about paying off debt.

Until you pay off your debts, you are living with an anchor around your neck, keeping you from doing the things you love.  Take a look at the amount you are paying to your debt-holders each month.   How could you better use that money, now?  A vacation, private school for your kids, a reliable car?

If you’ve got a ton of debt, the real cost is in missed opportunities.   For example, with my son’s vision therapy being poorly covered by our insurance plan, we are planning a much smaller vacation this summer–a “staycation”–instead of a trip to the Black Hills.  If we didn’t have a debt payment to worry about, we’d have a much larger savings and would have been able to absorb the cost without canceling other plans.  The way it is, our poor planning and reliance on debt over the last 10 years have cost us the opportunity to go somewhere new.

The only way to regain the ability to take advantage of future opportunities is to get out of debt, which tends to be an intimidating thought.   When we started on our journey out of debt, we were buried 6 figures deep, with a credit card balance that matched our mortgage.    It looked like an impossible obstacle, but we’ve been making it happen.   The secret is to make a plan and stick with it.   Pick some kind of plan, and follow it until you are done.  Don’t give up and don’t get discouraged.

What kind of plan should you pick?  That’s a personal choice.  What motivates you? Do you want to see quick progress or do you like seeing the effects of efficient, long-term planning?   These are the most common options:

Debt Snowball

Popularized by Dave Ramsey, this is the plan with the greatest emotional effect.   It’s bad math, but that doesn’t matter, if the people using it are motivated to keep at it long enough to get out of debt.

To prepare your debt snowball, take all of your debts–no matter how small–and arrange them in order of balance.   Ignore the interest rate.  You’re going to pay the minimum payment on each of your debts, except for the smallest balance.  That one will get every spare cent you can throw at it.   When the smallest debt is paid off, that payment and every spare cent you were throwing at it(your “snowball”) will go to the next smallest debt.   As the smallest debts are paid off, your snowball will grow and each subsequent debt will be paid off faster that you will initially think possible.    You will build up a momentum that will shrink your debts quickly.

This is the plan I am using.

Debt Avalanche

A debt avalanche is the most efficient repayment plan.  It is the plan that will, in the long-term, involve paying the least amount of interest.  It’s a good thing.   The downside is that it may not come with the “easy wins” that you get with the debt snowball.   It is the best math; you’ll get out of debt fastest using this plan, but it’s not the most emotionally motivating.

To set this one up, you’ll take all of your bills–again–and line them up, but this time, you’ll do it strictly by interest rate.  You’re going to make every minimum payment, then you’ll focus on paying the bill with the highest interest rate, first, with every available penny.

DOLP

This is the plan promoted by David Bach.  It stands for Done On Last Payment.   With this plan, you’ll pay the minimum payment on each debt, except for bill that is scheduled to be paid off first.   You calculate this by dividing the balance of each debt by the minimum payment.   This gives you an estimate of the number of months it will take to pay off each debt.

This system is less efficient than the debt avalanche–by strict math–but is better than the snowball.  It give you “quick wins” faster than the snowball, but will cost a bit more than the avalanche.   It’s a compromise between the two, blending the emotional satisfaction of the snowball with the better math of the avalanche.

Snowflaking

For each of these plans, you can give them a little steroid injection by snowflaking.  Snowflaking is the art of making some extra cash, and throwing it straight at your debt.   If you hold a yard sale, use the proceeds to make an extra debt payment.   Sell some movies at the pawn shop?  Make an extra car payment.  Every little payment you make means fewer dollars wasted on interest.

Paying interest means you are paying for everything you buy…again.  Do whatever it takes to make debt go away, and you will find yourself able to take advantage of more opportunities and spend more time doing the things you want to do.  Life will be less stressful and rainbows will follow you through your day.  Unicorns will guard your home and leprechauns will chase away evil-doers.   The sun will always shine and stoplights will never show red.   Getting out of debt is powerful stuff.

Your task today is to pick a debt plan, and get on it.   Whichever plan works best for you is the right one.    Organize your bills, pick one to focus on, and go to it.

Assuming you are in debt, how are you paying it off?

 

 

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Refinancing Through the HARP Program

Finance

HARP Refinance

If you owe more than your house is worth, and want to refinance to today’s low interest rates, you need to check out the HARP program. Millions of homeowners with underwater homes are finding relief in a new version of the Home Affordable Refinance Program (HARP). Refinancing to lower interest rates could slash your monthly mortgage payment or shorten the time it takes to pay-off your mortgage.

The new HARP loosened qualification rules, making it it easier for underwater homeowners to qualify for a refinance. When HARP 2.0 was released in November 2011 you had to work with your original lender. Since March 2012, when Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac rolled out the automated underwriting systems, you can work with any participating HARP lender. That means more competition for your business and better rates for you

HARP 2.0’s Hurdles

There are two series of hurdles you must clear before you can refinance your loan under HARP 2.0. The first set of hurdles concerns the loan itself. The three key eligibility questions are:

  1. Is the loan owned by Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac?
  2. If so, was the loan purchased by Fannie or Freddie on or before May 31, 2009?
  3. The loan was not refinanced under HARP before (some exceptions apply).

If you answer yes to these three questions, then your loan may be eligible for HARP.

Tip: If your loan is a FHA loan, then check out a FHA streamline refinance loan.

The second set of hurdles concerns your finances and property. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac set up the basic guidelines. There are two basic ways your loan can be processed:

  1. Manual Underwriting System: Only your original lender (who is also your current servicer) can process a HARP loan through the manual underwriting system.
  2. Automated Underwriting System: Any participating lender can process a HARP loan through the automated system.

Keep in mind that lenders are free to have stricter qualifying rules than the basic Fannie and Freddie requirements.

When shopping for a HARP loan, here are some of the main points to look out for:

  • Credit Score Requirements: Fannie and Freddie have no minimum FICO score requirements. However, each lender has its own credit score requirements, so if you are denied by one lender, keep shopping.
  • Income Requirements: Your original lender can approve a loan with no debt to income ratio (DTI) requirement. However other lenders must qualify you based on  your DTI. The rule-of-thumb for a HARP loan is a 45% maximum DTI.
  • Timely Mortgage Payments: The HARP program allows for no late mortgage payments in the last 6 months and one late (30 days) payment in the preceding 6 months. However, some lenders do not allow any late payments.
  • Investment Properties Qualify: You can refinance a second home or rental property under HARP 2.0.
  • Fees: Lenders are not consistent in the fees or the interest rates they charge for HARP 2.0 loans. Some lenders charge a few hundred dollars for HARP 2.0 loan fees, and others charge thousands. It pays to shop around, so you can compare interest rates and fees.
  • Condos: While HARP guidelines for condos are tricky, many more condo owners will qualify for a loan under HARP 2.0 than under the first version of HARP.

Applying for HARP
First, go to the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac Web sites to learn if either owns your loan and whether they bought your loan on or before May 31, 2009. If so, you can contact either your current mortgage servicer or shop around with the many lenders who are offering the HARP 2.0 loan. 

If your application is rejected, ask for the specific reason why. If you applied with your original lender, find out whether the lender used the manual or automated system. Request manual underwriting if your original lender turned you down based on automated underwriting, as it may result in your loan being approved.

It pays to shop for HARP 2.0 refinance. Many homeowners report one lender will reject their application, but another will offer them an attractive refinance. Second, lenders are not consistent in their offers. As mentioned, closing costs are all over the map. Interest rates vary, too.

Summary
HARP 2.0’s rules are technical. Each lender creates different overlays. If you believe you qualify for HARP 2.0, be persistent! The rules that are in place today could very well be expanded in the future. This is one instance in life where shopping can be the solution to your problem.