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Lost Kid
Losing a kid is terrifying.
Aside from impromptu–and panic-inducing–games of hide-and-seek while shopping, I’ve misplaced a kid three times. My oldest walked out of the house twice when he little, once to find Mommy at a neighbor’s house–he didn’t know which neighbor–and once to find Grandma, who was in the backyard, but he thought she went home. With the first, a fireman got him to my wife. With the second, we knew he was gone within a minute and guessed where he went. He’d only made it a few blocks before I caught up to him. My middle kid walked out of the back side of a playground and somehow ended up in the parking lot before an attendant found her and brought her back.
We all know what to do when your kids disappears. If you’re in a store, you grab an employee and tell them your kid is missing. They’ll help. If you’re at the park, you have a heart attack while calling your kid’s name. Simple.
What’s your kid supposed to do?
If you’re kid gets lost, tell them to find a woman and ask for help. Tell them before they get lost.
There are 4 reasons.
- Pedophiles are rare. Stranger-kidnappings are rare. They are also predators, looking for a victim. If your kid picks the stranger to talk to, the odds of picking someone who will victimize them are slim.
- Kids are short. Employee uniforms are well above their line-of-sight and can be confusing to a little brat. What’s the kid supposed to do if she gets lost outside of a store? Simple rules for little minds.
- Women are very rarely predators. It happens, but it’s a statistical anomaly within the statistical anomaly that is child-predation. In general, women are safe. They are also wired to watch out for small children. It’s easier to get a strange woman to sympathize than a strange man.
- Women tend to be less intimidating to small children than men.
That’s it. Tell your kids to find a woman and ask for help if they get lost.
5 Ways to Reduce Temptation and Have a Peaceful dinner
It never fails: you send the kids off to the salt mine babysitter for the evening, cook a nice dinner and light some candles. Then, just as you sit down, the phone rings.
Now you have 2 choices, you can do like me and ignore the phone if it’s inconvenient to answer or you can ruin a romantic dinner. The telemarketers know that, statistically, you are home at dinner time. They don’t care if you are celebrating an anniversary or just trying to connect with your loved one.
Why not preemptively stop the irritation? While you’re at it, stop the junk mail, too. It’s not as hard as you’d think. It’s a simple, almost free process that will not only eliminate the frustration of pointless calls and sorted junk mail, but will also cut down on the temptation of seeing something shiny to buy.
Here are the four steps to a leaner, greener and romantic dinner-making you:
1. Get on all of the Do Not Call lists.
- You can get on the federal list by visiting www.donotcall.gov or calling (888) 382-1222. The tele-sales weasels will have have a month to clear you out of their systems.
- If you still get calls–some calls are still allowed, including political calls, non-profit fundraisers, and surveys–they are still required to maintain an in-house do not call list. Tell them to put you on that list.
- Many states have a Do Not Call list that is entirely independent of the the federal list. This is redundant, but the more roadblocks you put up, the better you will be.
If you are still getting calls, report them to the FTC at:
Federal Trade Commission
Consumer Response Center
600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20580
1-877-FTC-HELP
www.ftc.gov
2. Opt out of junk mail. The Direct Marketing Association manages a list of people who do not want junk mail. This list only applies to members of the association, but most mass-mailers participate. Go to www.dmachoice.org to enroll. It costs $1 to get on the list and will stop most junk mail for 3 years.
3. Opt out of pre-approved credit card offers. Go to www.optoutprescreen.com to remove your name from the lists generated by the major credit bureaus to sell to marketing firms. You can put a halt to this breed of junk for 5 years or forever.
4. Ask them to stop. If you are getting catalogs from a company with which you have an existing relationship, ask them to knock it off. Virtually every one will stop sending you garbage to ensure a continuing business relationship with you.
5. Guerrilla Warfare. If none of this works, there are still a couple of options.
- Keep an airhorn by the phone. They won’t call twice.
- Take everything you receive from a company, stuff it all in the prepaid return envelope they helpfully included, and drop it back in the mail. They only get charged for the prepaid envelopes when they are used, so use them up. It’s illegal to alter them to send mail to other people, but it’s not illegal to mail them all of their own garbage. If you cost them enough money, they will eventually back down.
Repair Plans, Appliances, and Rancid Meat…Oh, My!
- Image via Wikipedia
We recently had our annual barbecue. (For the purists, I am Minnesotan. Barbecue means “cooked over fire”.) Due to massive scheduling conflicts, it was a bit smaller than normal; only about 20 people came. At least 10 other people RSVP-ed that they were going to make it, but didn’t. Grr.
Naturally, we had food for everyone said they would be there and enough for half of the people who didn’t say anything, since Minnesotans don’t RSVP well. That translates to a lot of leftovers. No problem. After all, leftover ribs are hardly a punishment.
Sunday morning, we woke up to find that our refrigerator was happier at room temperature than the standard “cold”. We didn’t know it at the time, but the defrost unit was borked, so the cold air couldn’t circulate from the freezer to the refrigerator. Bye-bye leftovers. Hello, Mr. Repairman. We needed an excuse to clean out the fridge, anyway, but not at the price of my beautifully seared meat! (Sadness strikes.)
Monday evening, the repairman came out, worked for 2 hours and left a functional refrigerator and a $240 invoice in his wake. Thankfully, we are on the appliance repair plan through the gas company. We pay $26.40 per month to cover repairs to our range, water heater, furnace, drier, sewer main, and refrigerator. The first four items are standard, the final two are options that cost extra.
We originally got on the plan for the sewer main. We had a tree whose roots grew into the main and clogged it every year. A backed-up sewer main is a crappy way to wake up. Getting that snaked to the street cost $200 per year. At the time, without the refrigerator, the plan cost about $12 per month. One $200 call-out more than paid for the plan for the year. That was easy math. Now, our 20 year old refrigerator has been repaired twice in the last year, giving us $500 worth of repairs for $316.80. I would like to take this time to thank all of the people with reliable appliances for subsidizing my repairs.
My furnace, drier, and range are all reasonably new and shouldn’t need repairs any time soon, but the refrigerator and sewer main have paid for the plan themselves, several times over.
Should you get a similar plan? If your covered appliances are more than 4-5 years old, I would consider it. If they are more than 10 years old, I wouldn’t hesitate at all. Repairing quality appliances is cheaper than replacing them, especially when the repair cost is paid monthly and subsidized.
Do you use a service plan?
What is a Mechanic’s Lien?
- Image via Wikipedia
When you hire someone to work on your property or provide material to build or improve it, they are entitled to get paid. A mechanic’s lien is the method of enforcing that payment.
Here is what you need to know about mechanic’s liens.
A contractor must usually give you written notice of intent to file a lien if the contract isn’t paid. He needs to do this within a short time of beginning the work. The notice will include text to the effect that subcontractors also have the right to file a lien if they are not paid. This notice gives you two methods of defense: You can pay the subcontractors directly and withhold that amount from the payment to the contractor, or you can withhold the final payment until you have received a lien waiver from each of the subcontractors.
If the notice isn’t given correctly, the contractor forfeits his right to file a lien. Also, in most places, if a contractor is supposed to be licensed to do the work, but isn’t, he’s not able to file a lien.
Subcontractors must also provide notice on intent within about 45 days–depending on the state–of the time they first provide services or material, or the lien is not enforceable.
Protecting Yourself
First, you only have to pay once. If you pay the contractor in full before getting the notice of intent from the subcontractors, you can’t be forced to pay again.
Next, make the contractor provide a list of all subcontractors and keep track of any notices of intent you get. Get lien waivers from everyone involved before you make the final payment to the contractor.
Finally, you have the rights defined in the notice of intent to file a lien. You can either pay the subcontractors directly, or you can withhold the final payment until you receive lien waivers from each subcontractor.
Resolution
The lien holder has 120 days to file the lien and 1 year to enforce it. Enforcing simply means that it a suit has been filed. Once that happens, you can either pay the contractor, attempt to settle with the contractor, or you can take the contractor to court to determine the “adverse claims” on your property. There aren’t too many choices at this point.
Do yourself a favor and get lien waivers before you make the final payment on any work done on your property.
Crack
I guess I’ve been feeling pretty domestic lately. This is the second food post in two weeks. I wonder what that means? It probably means I’m hungry.
If I’m bringing a dessert to a potluck, or I need a dessert for a party, I bring crack. I’m absolutely sure that wasn’t the name on the recipe when I found it, but it’s been renamed by everyone who has ever tried it. I’m sorry, Mr. Potato-Chip-Man, but I can eat just one of those. This stuff needs to be restricted by the government. It’s an addictive, sell-your-first-born-for-another-hit bit of salty-sweet yum. I’m gonna make you fat.
Ingredients
1 cup of salted butter – $2
1 cup of brown sugar – $1
2 packs of saltines (That’s half of a box) – $2
2 bags of chocolate chips – $4
2 handfuls of toffee chips (broken Heath bars) – $1
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cover two cookie sheets in foil. Spread crackers over each sheet in a single layer.
Mix the butter and sugar in a saucepan. Stir over medium heat until it starts looking like caramel, then stir for another minute or two. You still want it kind of runny, so don’t let it get thick.
Spoon the caramel over the crackers. Get some on each cracker. Try to get it even, but don’t worry about it too much. Sloppy is good. Remember, half the caramel for each cookie sheet.
Put the cookie sheets full of crackers and caramel in the oven for 10-15 minutes. The caramel will spread out and flow through and around the crackers. You’ll know it’s done when the caramel starts bubbling evenly.
Pour one bag of chocolate chips over each pan. Try to spread it out evenly, but–again–don’t sweat it.
Go away for 10 minutes.
When you come back, the chocolate will be all melty-good. Spread it evenly with a rubber spatula.
Sprinkle some toffee chips over the chocolate, then put the pans in the freezer to cool and set. It will take at least a couple of hours.
When you pull the pans out, peel off the foil then break it up into snack-sized pieces. Don’t break it up first, or you’ll spend the evening moaning over the candy and crying over the foil hitting your fillings.
Depending on how long you cooked the caramel, it will get soft when it approaches room temperature. I always store it in the refrigerator to avoid that.
When you bring this to a party, always pack it two containers. When the first one is empty, you can auction off the second. You should be able to turn the $10 you spent on ingredients into at least $50 of guilt-ridden goodness.
