Life is crazy.
Mortgage Race, Part 2
As I mentioned last month, Crystal and I are in a race to pay off our mortgages. The loser(henceforth known as “Crystal”) has to visit the winner. Now, since–judging by the temperature–Crystal lives in Hell, I think it would be good for her to visit in the winter. There something about the idea of going ice fishing, staring at a hole in the ice while sitting on a 5 gallon bucket, cursing the day I was born.
Today, she threw down the gauntlet again. She has apparently decided that, since her prerequisites are met, she’s going to win. Sure, she’s closed on her house and built her savings back up to $20000, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve sent a small army of arson-ninjas to keep her from getting ahead. They are so small, they can only carry tiny matches and single drops of gasoline, so the damage they can do is tiny, but it will add up. Just a word of advice: if you hire an army of arson-ninjas, go for the upsell and get ninjas that are at least 2 feet tall. Anything less is just inefficient.
When I announced the race last month, my mortgage balance was $26,266.40. Today, it is $25,382.53. In three days, there will be another $880 applied to the principal.
In February, our renters will move in and we’ll conservatively have another $650 to pay. When that starts, our balance should be around $23,000. Adding a portion of the rent payment should mean we pay off the house in May 2014. However, when I bring in our side hustle money, that will bring us back to September 2013.
Crystal’s projected payoff is July 2013, so I’ll have to hustle.
IQ Tests
I dislike stupidity. Particularly willful stupidity.
The problem is that you can be having a conversation with some one that you don’t realize is stupid, then they whip out the dumb-hammer and steal some of your IQ points by osmosis.
I hate that.
Since my lobbying efforts to have the willfully stupid get identifying facial tattoos seems to be failing, I’ve developed a system. My system helps me identify willfully stupid people and allows me to ignore anything they say, or–more likely–walk away as soon as I’ve identified them.
Here’s my system:
If someone expresses a specific opinion on a specific topic, I know they are an inefficient use of air and should be ignored, preferably from a different room.
What topics? I don’t pick topics that are necessarily controversial. For example, politics. I’m a died-in-the-wool Leavemethehellaloneitarian. Commies who want to take my money to fund stupid programs or stupid people aren’t a part of my IQ test. They’re just misguided. I’ll pat them on the head and change the topic, because I’m not interested in being either a history or an economics teacher.
The topics I go for are straightforward. It’s a matter of “If you believe this, you are beyond help.”
What topics?
- The moon landing was a hoax. Buzz Alrdin actually got the honor of punching one of these idiots. I won’t get into the science here because–as I said–I don’t want to be a teacher. Just 2 points from a human nature perspective: 1) The Russians were watching and good tell where the radio signals were coming from. If they could have embarrassed us, they would have. It was a Space Race. 2) Conspiracy 101. 13 people can keep a secret if 12 of them are dead.
- 9/11 Truthers. There’s too much stupid rolled up in anybody who think 9/11 was an inside job. Engineering, human nature, cinematography, and critical thinking are all topics they can never master. Just walk away. They probably won’t notice they are talking to a wall for a while, anyway. If they do get offended, it’s no big deal, because there’s no way they can remember your name longer than it takes to take a couple of breaths. Seriously, they became Truthers because it’s the only job they could get that didn’t mind retraining them after each coffee break.
- Holocaust Deniers. I almost skipped this one because it’s hard to describe them without resorting to language I try to avoid here. Ten million people died as a direct result of evil. Evil that ran a successful PR campaign on television. Evil that was witnessed by millions as it was happening, and by tens of thousands more as the concentration camps were liberated and mass graves were uncovered. If you deny this, you are not only beyond help, you are beneath contempt.
There are some other groups that get this to a lesser degree. Anti-vaccinators get a pat on the head. They are benefiting from the herd immunity provided be the people who get their kids vaccinated. If the rest of us went that route, we’d grow some fabulous epidemics again.
What about you? Do you have a shortcut system for recognizing people better left ignored?
7 Benefits of Investing Internationally
When it comes to financial investments, it’s always better to go with an informed decision than one that relies merely on chance – besides, gambling only works when luck’s on your side. Fortunately, international investments are a financially secure and reliable form of investing as long as you know your limitations. So, in keeping with the idea of sound financial decisions, here are seven benefits of investing internationally:
Diversification of Your Funds
A diversified financial portfolio gives investors options in terms of economic fluctuations and, by investing internationally, your finances will have alternative sources of stability. In other words, if your money is spread out among various countries, then an economic crash in one country won’t affect other investments.
It goes without saying that with diversification also comes a learned understanding of various global economies and markets, but with the help of a financial adviser or with a little research, you’ll have the ability to make informed global investments, which is always better than the “eggs in one basket” approach.
Investing Abroad Means More Options
Just like there’s diversification with investing internationally, there are also many options when it comes to the way you want to invest your finances. And, with international investing growing in popularity, the investment options available in today’s market are quickly becoming commonplace.
Three of the most popular forms of international investments are mutual funds, exchange traded funds (ETFs), and American depository receipts (ADRs). And, although mutual funds are a common form of investment, ETFs and ADRs trade much like stocks and therefore take a little more financial knowledge to navigate.
International Protection and Confidentiality
If you’re the type of investor that’s worried about financial scares associated with foreclosures and lawsuits, investing internationally has an added advantage of asset protection. With investing abroad, many foreign financial institutions are able to protect your investments from seizure and other threats.
Likewise, investing internationally also comes with confidentiality concerning your finances. International financial institutions are not legally required to divulge your monetary details to anyone. Confidentiality isn’t to say that international investments are exempt from legalities, but they’re entitled to more freedoms.
Investment Growth on an International Level
In terms of household incomes, import/export strengths, younger working populations, and the lean toward free-market economic policies, investing internationally has the potential for more growth than investing in the United States alone, which translates to an increase in return potential in overseas investments.
In fact, according to the International Monetary Fund, the United States is expected to fall below the rest of the world for the next two years when it comes to economic growth. Because of this, companies like Fisher Investments Institutional Group are strategizing toward international investments in strong economic climates across the world.
Currency Diversification Strengthens Portfolios
Much like international investing gives your portfolio safety in numbers as opposed to having all assets invested in one country’s economy, so do currency differences from country to country. In relation to the US dollar, many countries across the world have stronger currencies, which helps boost returns over time.
The flip side of this coin is the idea that fluctuations in currency strengths can just as easily work against your portfolio as they can strengthen it. It’s wise to keep an eye on international currency rates and how they compare to the US dollar, but never invest solely based on rates as a country’s currency can drop in strength overnight.
A Reduction in Taxes
Otherwise known as tax havens, many countries across the world offer attractive tax incentives to foreign investors. These incentives are meant to strengthen other country’s investing environments as well as attract outside wealth.
These tax incentives are particularly attractive to US investors due to the increasingly high taxes in the country. As a result, the United States government is creating more defined restrictions and laws when it comes to international investment tax incentive regulations.
Investment Potential in the United States is Dwindling
Because the United States has both the world’s largest economy and stock market, financial opportunities are almost maxed out due to over-investing. On the other hand, emerging markets in other countries are growing in size and strength, which is quickly resulting in stronger economies and more investment opportunities.
By ignoring the potential of other world markets, you’re also ignoring global economies and stock markets that offer unforeseen investment potential when compared to the United States, which is something every investor should keep in mind.
So, from portfolio diversification to investment growth, investing internationally is a great way to expand your financial horizons.
This is a guest post.
Mariano Rivera: Rags to MLB Riches
Mariano Rivera is the most dominant closer in the history of baseball. His cut fastball, or cutter, is considered by many to be the best pitch in the history of the game. He is the all-time saves leader, and he has five World Series rings that he can wear. Of course, he has made millions of dollars over his professional career, which has brought him a long way from his humble roots as the son of a Panamanian fisherman.
Instead, Rivera and his friends would play games with tree branches for bats. They used milk cartons instead of gloves, and they taped together pieces of old fishing nets to use as balls. Rivera didn’t have his first real leather baseball glove until his dad bought him one at the age of 12.
Rivera liked baseball, but he never thought he would one day make a living at it. Instead, he dreamed of playing soccer professionally like most Latinos. However, he suffered a series of ankle injuries during high school that shattered this dream. He finished school at age 16 and began working on his father’s fishing boat. He had to abandon ship when the boat capsized, and that scared him away from fishing forever.
Soon after that, Rivera started playing on a local amateur baseball team, Panama Oeste. He was the team’s shortstop, and he only started pitching because the team’s normal pitcher was in a slump. His teammates were so impressed with his pitching skills that they convinced the Panama scout for the New York Yankees to give him a tryout. Rivera went to Panama City for a Yankees tryout camp, and the Yankees signed the man who would become one of the greatest players of all-time to a contract worth just $3,000.
When Rivera came to the United States, he did not speak English and was incredibly homesick. Puerto Caimito did not have telephone service at that time, which meant Rivera could only communicate to his family back home by writing long letters.
Rivera made steady progress through the minor leagues, but it was still five years before he was called up to the big leagues. His first few years in the major leagues, Rivera made the minimum salary of $750,000. This is a small figure by American standards, but it is more money than most people in Panama can dream of.
Rivera still goes back to Panama every year. He feels it is a home and that he is a part of it. His riches have never transformed him into a diva. He is one of the most down-to-earth and genuinely friendly players in the game.
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Paying For Heart Surgery When You’re Not as Rich as Randy Travis
Very sad news broke this week about Randy Travis. The country crooner, whose hits ironically include a song titled “From the Hard Rock Bottom of my Heart,” was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart problem that arose from viral cardiomyopathy, a condition that is characterized by a weakening of the heart muscle due to a virus. The virus that caused this disease is usually pretty harmless, but in some patients, extremely dangerous complications can arise. For Travis, the complications weakened his heart, and he required hospitalization and emergency heart surgery.
The easiest way to pay for a heart surgery is to let someone else pay for it. This tip may sound like a joke, but it is the way most people pay for heart surgery. Insurance is a risk management system in which many people pay premiums so that they do not have to bear the entire brunt of a financial loss. Some will come out ahead by paying less in premiums than the amount of the health benefits they will receive. Others will be on the opposite end of the stick. Health insurance can come from the private market or the public coffers through programs like Medicare and Medicaid. While there might be a copay for these procedures with insurance, the insured will not have to pay the whole tab.
Another way to pay for heart surgery is by raiding a retirement account. This is not really advisable in most instances, but desperate times can call for desperate measures. The money can then be paid back over time in the best-case scenario, and getting the doctors paid off will take a major burden off of the back of any heart patient.
Taking out a home equity loan can also be a way to pay for a heart surgery. Those who have some equity built up in their home can sometimes find enough to pay off some emergency bills. Of course, it usually takes years to build up this equity, so many will not have this option available to them.
One final way to pay off a heart surgery without being rich like Randy Travis would involve getting a second job. This might cut down on the amount of time available for cardiac rehab, but the doctor will want his or her cut. It is likely that the hospital will be even more serious about getting paid. This will especially be the case if the hospital is for-profit. It might take some time, but those who are able to survive the extra work should be able to eventually pay off their bills.