This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
[Editor: This is a guest post from my good friend Terra. I’ve know her for–jeez, really–20 years. If you’re looking for a staff writer, hit her up. Seriously. She’s good people.]
Who doesn’t want a brighter future for their child? Book store shelves overflow with parenting advice tomes and how-to guides to make “uber-kids”. Eager parents lap up promises to raise their children’s I.Q., increase their chances to get into college, and improve their social skills.
From books to apps to specialized software, there is a dizzying number of products available to help your child grow into the genius you know he or she is.
But what if I told you that the secrets to increasing your child’s likelihood to succeed in life were absolutely free. Simple things you have complete control over. No batteries or special upgrades required. No matter your income, education level, or what country you live in, these deceptively simple tips offer powerful results.
Food connects people. From the dawn of time, our species has gathered around the fire, to break bread and share our stories.
In modern times, our schedule can be crazy (between work, social activities, and, you know, life) so having dinner on the table at 6 o’clock every night is not always possible. However, studies consistently show that having a family meal at least 3 times a week has huge benefits for children (from teenagers being less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, to increased academic success, to reduced risk of developing eating disorders or becoming obese, the implications are impressive). And it doesn’t have to be dinner, any meal will work. Consistency is the key.
Far from being boring, children find the predictable routine of family meals reassuring, promoting warm, fuzzy feelings of closeness and comfort (though teenagers will never admit it). Whether it’s take-out or made from scratch goodness, nothing says “I care about you” like sharing a meal.
Quality matters here, so remove distractions during meal time (turn off the TV, ban phones) and focus on each other. Take this time to reconnect and talk about your day and ask the kids about theirs. Make this time sacred. It matters that much.
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” – Virginia Satir, psychotherapist
Receiving a loving hug feels wonderful. But beyond feeling “nice”, hugs literally have the power to heal us and improve our lives.
Hugs have superpowers. A hug has the power to release a “happiness hormone cocktail” of oxytocin (natural antidepressant, promotes feelings of devotion, trust and bonding), dopamine (intense pleasure), and serotonin (elevates mood, negates pain and sadness) in both the giver and receiver. Bonus, hugs are naturally gluten-free, organic, and have no unpleasant side effects.
To get the most benefits, prolonged hugging is recommended, around 20 seconds. A full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation. However, this hug fest only works its magic if you’re hugging someone you trust. Since children love to be held and cuddled, this is ideal for family bonding. Not so much with that new client you just landed (awkward…).
How does hugging effect children specifically? Children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. Hugging boosts self-esteem; from the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. All of those cuddles we give to our children are imprinted on them at a cellular level and will still be imbedded in their nervous system as adults. Hugs today equal the ability to self-love as adults. That’s an awesome gift.
We all know how important reading aloud to children is, from infants to teenagers. Reading is one of the most important factors affecting the development of a child’s brain. But reading skills are not hardwired into us; we don’t pop out of the womb quoting “Pride and Prejudice”. Reading skills need to be taught and encouraged.
Parents are a child’s first, and most important, teachers. While children can learn from flashcards and workbooks, nothing is more powerful than seeing your passion for reading. Whether you like it or not, your children are learning from your every move. What you find important, they will find important. No pressure! Teaching reading to your child requires attention, focus, and motivation. It also requires access to books, lots and lots of books.
Libraries are a great resource for developing a love of reading in your child. Most have a thoughtfully arranged children’s area offering story-time and other enrichment opportunities. However, nothing beats having a book to call your own, to hold and cherish, until the edges are worn with love.
Having a well-stocked home library, it turns out, matters. A lot. This study found that having a 500-book library was equivalent to having university-educated parents in terms of increasing the level of education their children will attain. That’s pretty powerful. It doesn’t matter if your family is rich or poor, from North America or Asia, if your parents are illiterate or college-educated, what matters is that you have books in your home.
Don’t’ have the space for 500 books? No worries. Having as few as 20 books in the home still has a significant impact on propelling a child to a higher level of education, and the more books you add, the greater the benefit.
Having a variety of books available makes a difference; especially important are reference books, with history and science texts having the greatest benefit.
No money for books? No Excuse! Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library is a great resource for free, high-quality children’s books. When you sign up, your child is mailed a new book each month until the age of five, addressed to them (a very special thing indeed).
I hope these tips empower you to take action. Small changes can have a big impact on your child’s future. Just remember, it’s not the money you make or the tutor you’ve hired or the new app you’ve installed that will catapult your baby Einstein ahead in life. It’s the quiet moments with you at home, eating, hugging, and reading that will carry them through whatever life brings their way.
Are these things you would like to focus on in your family? Do you have simple parenting tips that have made a difference in your child’s life?
I know I haven’t been doing the Sunday roundups very regularly. Do you miss them? Would you like to see something else here? When I do post them, I use it as a place to post some updates about my life that aren’t necessarily finance-related, and I post some links worth visiting.
Please let me know, I love feedback.
In the meantime….
Vacation, Shmaycation, Staycation? was included in the Canadian Finance Carnival.
The Unfrugal Meal was included in the Yakezie Carnival and the Totally Money Carnival.
Annoying Your Wife: 5 Ways to Succeed was included in the Carnival of Financial Planning.
Money Problems, Day 11 was included in the Best of Money Carnival.
Is that the best you can do? was included in the Totally Money Carnival, by a different host.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
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Have a great week!
This was not a good year for our net worth.
Over the summer, we remodeled both of our bathrooms. At the same time.
1 out of 10: Don’t recommend.
We love the bathrooms, but–as with any project–it went over budget. Sucks to be us.
Then, towards the end of the year, we decided to push hard and pay off our mortgage in 2015. Part of doing that meant paying the credit card off slower than we’d like. It wasn’t the best long-term decision, but we’re mortgage-free now.
Those decision, coupled with a small slump in our investment accounts means we are worth $7650 going into 2016 than we were at the start of 2015.
Disappointing.
I’m also disappointed that our credit card discipline slipped last year.
New plan: No debt before tax day. Every cent of Linda’s paycheck, every cent of my monthly bonus checks, and every cent of any extra money we make is going into the remaining credit card debt. My math says that last debt will die on April 1st.
Then we get to talk about what to do with out money when there’s no debt. But never fear, I have a plan. A boring, boring plan.
So not that boring.
And when our kids all decide to become certified sign-spinners, we’ll have a huge nest-egg in the college fund savings account to spend on lottery tickets.
Last Friday, my youngest daughter woke me up at 3AM by puking in my bed. Saturday, my son came down with a fever that we discovered on Wednesday was part of a nasty sinus infection. Sunday, my wife appeared to catch the flu that she was kind enough to share with me on Tuesday. Thursday, my youngest caught a horrible cold that’s had her coughing hard enough to feel nauseous. Only my six-year-old has escaped unscathed.
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Money Master Mom
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Family Money Values
Carnival of Retirement #59 hosted by Midlife Finances
Yakezie Carnival hosted by My University Money
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Carnival of Retirement #61 hosted by Free at 33
Yakezie Carnival hosted by Debt Black Hole
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #71 hosted by Debt Round Up
Carnival of Retirement #60 hosted by Master the Art of Saving
Yakezie Carnival hosted by NZ Muse
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Money Reasons
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Vanessa’s Money
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #69 hosted by Savvy Scot
Yakezie Carnival hosted by The Frugal Toad
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Savvy Scot
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Drop That Debt
Carnival of Retirement #56 hosted by Making Sense of Cents
Y & T’s Weekend Ramblings hosted by Young & Thrifty
Yakezie Carnival hosted by The Amateur Financier
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Thanks for including my posts.
You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.
You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.
You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.
You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.
You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.
Have a great weekend!
In April of 2009, I told my wife we were either going to straighten out our finances or file bankruptcy. At that time, we had $90,394 in total debt, including $30,000 in credit card debt. It hasn’t been easy, but we are working out way out of that hole. Since then, we have paid down more than $30,000. That’s not $30,000 in payments, but $30,000 less debt. We are now less than $60,000 in debt. We have entirely stopped accumulating more and I don’t remember the last time we carried a new balance on a card or had to use our overdraft protection. Next month, my car will be paid off, 10 months early.
Given my new-found fanaticism, I spent the next 6 months or so evangelizing about our debt repayment. Eventually, I decided to share my thoughts and progress with the world and launched this site on December 1, 2009. Today is my anniversary.
Here we are, 234 posts, 695 comments, and 17, 661 spam later. You all rock. Except the spammers.
To say thank you, I’m giving away a $100 Amazon gift card to some lucky reader. Yes, I rock, too.
There are several ways you can enter the drawing:
1. Subscribe to Live Real, Now, either by RSS or email. If you are already subscribed by email, you are automatically entered. To show me you have subscribed by RSS, there is a contest code in the feed. Just post that in the comments. (1 entry)
2. Follow me on twitter and tweet the following: “@LiveRealNow is giving away $100. Come get some! Follow and RT to enter! http://bit.ly/f1roKM #Giveaway #Yakezie” (1 entry possible per day. Every day you retweet this is another entry!)
3. “Like” LRN on Facebook. This is easy, just click the little ‘like’ button on the left. If you’ve already done that, you have already entered once.(1 entry)
4. Send me an email at Jason <AT> LiveRealNow <DOT> net telling me what you would like to see me write about more (or less!). You can also use the contact form. (1 entry)
I’m closing this down on the 15th. That’s 18 possible entries for $100 you may win early enough to help with some last-minute Christmas shopping.
UPDATE:
And the winner is…Claudia! Congratulations. Email sent.