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Happy Father’s Day: The Benefits of Being a Parent Can’t Be Measured

News

It’s true that the benefits of a parent cannot be measured or quantified in any meaningful way. It’s hard to put a price on the emotional commitment and special experience of raising a child as a parent, some of which may not even be realized by the parents themselves until afterwards. But it is undeniable that the experience of parenthood is a rewarding and special time in someone’s life.

An icon illustrating a parent and child
An icon illustrating a parent and child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
For one thing, being a parent can you relive your childhood through your child. There are very few experiences in the world that are as intimate and vicarious as a parent who is raising their newborn child into an adult. Your child’s experiences become your experiences, their safety and learning becomes your priorities, and their success, ultimately, become your own success as a parent. You can rediscover the parts of your childhood that you may even have forgot as your child experiences them for the first time.
As a parent, you are also the center of the world for your child. This can be a tremendous source of self-confidence as well as incentive for self-improvement, to know that another human being sees you as their ultimate role model and will grow up in your footsteps. Just imagine the sense of wonder and awe with which you regarded your own parents when you were a child, and apply them to your child. That is the way they will see the world for a long time, with a constant sense of amazement and curiosity. The mundane becomes extraordinary and fantastic to a child, and a parent is part of the magic and the child’s discovery of the world.
In addition, parenting is a rewarding experience because you involved in the creation of a life and the raising of your child with your partner. There is a great amount of pressure, but also a sense of pride as your child’s characteristics and worldview will, in a large part, be derived from your interaction and education of them. All the things that you wish you had done in your childhood, or wish you had experienced or learned about earlier. These are all things that you can teach your child. As a parent, you are your child’s most important friend, teacher and role model. That is a tremendous source of empowerment and responsibility. But the reward you can get out of being a great parent is a new life in the world that you shaped with your words and actions. What you teach them becomes their most important life lessons, and your actions as a role model becomes the standard by which they live the rest of their lives.
So yes, the benefits of being a parent cannot be measured in conventional terms. But these benefits can definitely outweigh any worldly possession or unit of valuation. Parenthood is an emotional, spiritual, intellectual and educational experience that very few other experiences in the world can replace or even come close to imitating.
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Cutting Healthcare Costs

Finance

It’s not a secret that health care can be expensive.  Many people pay two and three digit bills for their prescriptions.   A visit to the doctor’s office can hurt the budget.  Glasses cost hundreds of dollars?  How can you cut this cost?

Drugs

If possible, go generic*.  There is no difference between Trazorel and trazadone, aside from the cost.   Wal-mart, Target, and many other stores offer common generic prescriptions for $4-5.   When you are talking to your doctor, ask if there is an drug option that has an available generic.  When you are talking to your pharmacist, ask if there is a generic alternative available.

Get the price match.   The Cub Foods pharmacy near me matches the Target generic drug price, giving us $4 generics for the asking.   This is often an unpublicized deal, so make sure you ask. If your pharmacy will not match nearby prices, consider going elsewhere.

See if there is a 90 day plan.  Many insurance companies sponsor a 90 day prescription plan that gives you a 90 supply of drugs for the 60 costs as long as you are willing to accept the drugs by mail.   For expensive prescriptions, this 33% discount can be a substantial savings.

Physician

Does your clinic offer online consultations with your doctor or nurses?   Some clinics offer a chat or email option to talk to your doctor without requiring a visit that will add fees and copays to your expense sheet.   Most clinics and hospitals have a free nurse line for basic questions, like “When is my baby‘s fever dangerous?”  It’s a great chance to save some money.  I know, from personal experience, that they won’t be shy if they feel you need to come in, but they generally won’t try to convince you to come in if aspirin will fix the problem.

Stay in-network.   Check with your insurance company to make sure the doctor you want to see if in your network and therefore, available at the cheapest out-of-pocket price.  If not, and you really want that doctor, ask your insurance company if they accept nominations for the network and ask your doctor if he’d be interested in being nominated.

Stay home for your cold.  Don’t go to the doctor for every minor problem. The best remedy a doctor can give your for your cold will reduce it to a seven day malady.  On the other hand, if you do nothing, it will go away in about a week.  Why waste the money?   This counts double for the emergency room and urgent care.  Strep throat is not an emergency.  Wait until morning and go to the clinic, paying the lower fees instead of the large ER costs.   Make an appointment for a doctor visit, if possible.  Urgent care is billed the same as a regular visit, but most insurance plans double or triple the copay for urgent care visits.

Cash Flow

A Health Savings Account(HSA) is a pre-tax account to save for qualifying medical expenses similar to a Flexible Savings Account(FSA).  The main differences are that HSAs are only available for people with high-deductible insurance plans and do not have to be spent on medical expenses.  Non-qualifying expenses move from pre-tax to post-tax, meaning you will be charged federal income tax for non-qualifying withdrawals.  FSAs are “use it or lose it” plans.  If you don’t use it, it will go away, usually at the end of the year.  That makes December a great time to stock up on over-the-counter medicines and possibly replace your eyeglasses, as both of those are qualifying expenses.    Find out if you have either option available.   If you use either one, set aside a place to store every imaginable medical receipt, so you can be reimbursed.  Make sure you understand the FSA-eligible expenses.

An Ounce of Prevention

Get routine checkups.  The earlier you find a problem, the more options you have. This goes for everything from cancer screenings to blood tests.  Get a physical every year and know what is happening with your body.  We may be living in the future, but replacement parts are still hard to come by.

Maintain Your Health

It’s cheaper to be healthy.  Eat right, exercise, quit smoking.

I enjoy a good meal.  It’s one of my favorite things.  I won’t cut rich foods out of my diet, so we reduced portions.  Beyond the first few bites, the flavor isn’t nearly as enjoyable or even noticeable.  There’s no more enjoyment for huge servings than small ones.

Get more exercise, even if it’s just a 2o minute walks twice a week parking on the far side of the parking lot, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator.

Vision

Go online.  This one is worth a write-up all by itself.  I have 6 pairs of prescription glasses–all varieties of frames and coatings–that have cost a grand total of about $150.  There is no noticeable difference between my cheapies and the designer alternatives.   While I work on the write-up, the best site to introduce you to the concept of online glasses is GlassyEyes.  Reviews, coupons, and discount likes.  They have step-by-step instructions on turning an intimidating idea into a simple and cheap solution to an expensive problem.

How do you save money on health care?

* There are no generics available on new drugs until the initial patent expires.   This gives the pharmaceutical companies a change to recoup their research and development costs.  Without this patent period, new private drug research would evaporate.   Don’t hate the brand names, but don’t show undue loyalty.

 

Budget Lesson, Part 8

Finance

This is a continuation of the budget series. See these posts for the history of this series.

This time, I’m looking at our discretionary budget. These are the things that don’t have a fixed cost. Any individual item is largely optional, and, ultimately, we don’t track these purchases closely. At the beginning of the month, I pull this money out of the bank in cash, except for 1 category. When the discretionary budget is gone, it’s gone.

  • Groceries/Dining  – At the beginning of the week, we sit down with a meal planner and (Can you guess?) plan our meals.  The planner we use has a weekly calendar with a checklist below each day to build the grocery list.  At the bottom of the page is another checklist for staples that don’t apply to a specific day’s meal, like milk or snacks.   We build the list, then transfer it to another sheet, broken out by grocery department.  That keeps me from having to criss-cross the store.   I make one lap.  When I go to the store, I only bring that week’s grocery budget in cash,  so I keep close track of how much is going into the cart.    Recently, we’ve gotten so good at making our meals cheaply from scratch that I reduced our monthly food budget by $50.   I enjoy good food, so I wouldn’t reduce this budget item if it was a sacrifice in quality.   For example, the Rainbow Foods store-brand chips actually taste better than Lay’s for half of the price.    We stock up when things are on sale and cook creatively.   Sometimes, if time has been too tight to make a meal plan, we eat solely from the pantry for a week, buying nothing but bread and milk.   By sticking to the list, and not fearing the store’s brand, we are able to feed our family of 5 1/2 for $450 per month and still eat well.
  • Discretionary  – This is for the random things that come up, and some of the not-so-random.   Toiletries, activity fees, admissions, and fund-raisers all come out of this fund.  At the end of the month, whatever is left gets tucked into a box and forgotten.   When the box gets full, it goes to the bank to be applied to debt. There isn’t a lot to cut here, since this line-item is only $200.
  • Baby stuff  – This category is continually shrinking.   Our middle kid is recently potty-trained and our youngest is trying.   There is no baby food and no formula, just 1 pack of diapers every month.   In 6 months, this category will be eliminated.
  • Gas/oil  – This is the single category that isn’t cash-based.   It makes no sense to take the kids out of the car to pay inside, especially in the winter.    Also, all of the temptation is inside. It’s much better to spend the money at the pump.    There isn’t much we can do to reduce this, at the moment.   Our next car won’t be a full-sized pickup, but we are several years from that purchase.    We’ve started clipping oil-change coupons to keep this down to the minimum amount possible.
  • Clothes  – We only allocate $15 per month for clothes.   In a good month, we don’t spend it.   We can’t eliminate it completely, because things do come up.   Over the summer, I’m hoping to completely leave it alone to save up for a new(used) winter jacket for our older daughter, who doesn’t get hand-me-downs.
  • Blow Money  – This is the safety valve.  It can’t get reduced and still work.

We’ve now addressed out entire budget, including what we can do and have done to keep our costs under control.  Looking back, I don’t see too many cuts I’ve missed.

Budget Lesson, Part 7

Finance

It’s been a month(again!) since I’ve written a post for the budget series, so I’ll be continuing that today.  See these posts for the history of this series.

This time, I’m looking at how to reduce my “set aside” funds.  These are the categories that don’t have specific payout amounts and happen at irregular intervals.   One of the convenient features of our set-aside funds–also a feature of our non-monthly bills–is that the money sits in our checking account, providing a buffer against overdrafts.   The buffer is big enough  that I can withdraw our entire month’s discretionary budget on the first of the month.

  • Parties  – Twice a year, we have large parties.  We have a barbecue(not necessarily low and slow, I’m in the midwest) and a Halloween party.   We also have three kids with birthdays.   Each year, we try to do something exotic at the barbecue.  One year, it was a turducken.  This year, we’ll be skipping the show-off portion of the show.    The Halloween party is never expensive.   I don’t drink much, so the bar stays well-stocked without frequent expensive shopping trips.   We throw two large parties for less than $300 combined, and our guests start RSVPing a year in advance.  We’re fun.   The kids are getting gypped this year.   I am over my addiction to expensive birthday parties for my kids.  There will be a small party for one, a sleepover for another, and a party combined with some cousins’ birthday parties for the third.    It sound horrible but all of them will have fun.
  • Gifts  – We set aside money for presents, but we don’t feel we need to spend all of the money we have set aside.   Anything left over stays here.  Eventually, it will be something nice for all of us.
  • Pet Care – We have 4 cats and a dog.  Cat litter and food are expenses that we can’t make disappear.  We don’t buy the fancy food, but we also don’t buy the stuff that uses cardboard as filler.   We have set a new limit at 3 pets, but that limit will only be reached through attrition.   There’s nothing to cut here for a few years.
  • Car Repair – This is another category with nothing to cut.   If we don’t spend it, and something catastrophic happens to a car, we’ll be covered.  If it doesn’t, we’ll have a bit more cushion in our checking account.
  • Furnace Warranty – When we bought a new furnace and air conditioner, we got the extended warranty.   This is an unlimited renewal warranty, so, in 5 years, we’ll have to buy it again to keep it.  If we keep it forever, they will eventually replace our furnace when it dies.
  • Medicine/Medical – It’s a sad fact that people get sick.   We set aside a small amount to cover our costs.   The costs rise and fall, but over any given quarter, I don’t think I’ve been off by more than $5.

I’ve taken a hard look at most of the bills over time, so there isn’t always a lot to cut.  Next time, I’ll be addressing our discretionary spending.

Decision Making Made Easy

Life

Cinderella Castle at the Magic Kingdom, Walt D...
Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever had to make a difficult decision?   Not necessarily a decision that’s difficult because it’s life-changing, but a decision that’s difficult because there are two phenomenally wonderful, yet mutually exclusive options?

For example:

  • Should you put caramel or strawberry sauce on your ice cream?
  • Should you go to Disney Land or Disney World?
  • Should you subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS?
  • Should you take the job with the stellar benefits package or the higher salary?

These are all real decisions that you may be called on to make.

For most decisions, there are some alternatives that are easy to discard.

MadDog 20/20 isn’t a good alternative to caramel sauce on your ice cream.   The local BDSM museum probably isn’t a great choice for a family vacation.  Sending me hate mail is obviously worse than subscribing.

Then you’ve got some choices that are both okay, but one is clearly better.    You’ve got free airfare and hotel.  Do you go to Topeka, or Paris?  Neither is horribly, but I think the choice is obvious. You’re going out to dinner.  McDonald’s or…nevermind, this fits the first category.

After you’ve discarded the obvious bad choices and the okay-but-not-great choices, how can you decide between what’s left?

This is the point that starts to cause stress.  What if you make the wrong choice?  What if you regret it forever?   What if you’re still not happy?  Gridlock.

The reason your stuck is because it’s not apparent which is the better choice.  All of your experiences and knowledge are telling you–on some level–that the options are identical in terms of your life, happiness, and goals.    It truly does not matter which one you choose.  You will probably be equally happy, either way.

Given that it doesn’t matter, you have two choices for making the final decision:

  1. Pick the one you want.   The rational decision is a tie, so make it an emotional one.   Does one job match your dreams, but with a bit more risk?   Has one vacation destination been a goal since you were little?  Do it!
  2. Flip a coin.  If the decision doesn’t matter, leave it to fate.  That way, if it doesn’t work out, you can always blame the quarter.

The one thing you don’t want to do is wait.  Failing to decide is still a decision and one that is guaranteed to keep you from being satisfied with your choice.   Don’t wait until you have all of the possible information, because that kind of perfect world doesn’t exist.   Get to about 85% of fully informed and run with it.  You’ll usually be happier making a decision–even the wrong one–than sitting back wondering “What if I had done that?”

How do you make hard decisions?

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