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Happy Father’s Day: The Benefits of Being a Parent Can’t Be Measured

News

It’s true that the benefits of a parent cannot be measured or quantified in any meaningful way. It’s hard to put a price on the emotional commitment and special experience of raising a child as a parent, some of which may not even be realized by the parents themselves until afterwards. But it is undeniable that the experience of parenthood is a rewarding and special time in someone’s life.

An icon illustrating a parent and child
An icon illustrating a parent and child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
For one thing, being a parent can you relive your childhood through your child. There are very few experiences in the world that are as intimate and vicarious as a parent who is raising their newborn child into an adult. Your child’s experiences become your experiences, their safety and learning becomes your priorities, and their success, ultimately, become your own success as a parent. You can rediscover the parts of your childhood that you may even have forgot as your child experiences them for the first time.
As a parent, you are also the center of the world for your child. This can be a tremendous source of self-confidence as well as incentive for self-improvement, to know that another human being sees you as their ultimate role model and will grow up in your footsteps. Just imagine the sense of wonder and awe with which you regarded your own parents when you were a child, and apply them to your child. That is the way they will see the world for a long time, with a constant sense of amazement and curiosity. The mundane becomes extraordinary and fantastic to a child, and a parent is part of the magic and the child’s discovery of the world.
In addition, parenting is a rewarding experience because you involved in the creation of a life and the raising of your child with your partner. There is a great amount of pressure, but also a sense of pride as your child’s characteristics and worldview will, in a large part, be derived from your interaction and education of them. All the things that you wish you had done in your childhood, or wish you had experienced or learned about earlier. These are all things that you can teach your child. As a parent, you are your child’s most important friend, teacher and role model. That is a tremendous source of empowerment and responsibility. But the reward you can get out of being a great parent is a new life in the world that you shaped with your words and actions. What you teach them becomes their most important life lessons, and your actions as a role model becomes the standard by which they live the rest of their lives.
So yes, the benefits of being a parent cannot be measured in conventional terms. But these benefits can definitely outweigh any worldly possession or unit of valuation. Parenthood is an emotional, spiritual, intellectual and educational experience that very few other experiences in the world can replace or even come close to imitating.
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Budget Lesson, Part 8

Finance

This is a continuation of the budget series. See these posts for the history of this series.

This time, I’m looking at our discretionary budget. These are the things that don’t have a fixed cost. Any individual item is largely optional, and, ultimately, we don’t track these purchases closely. At the beginning of the month, I pull this money out of the bank in cash, except for 1 category. When the discretionary budget is gone, it’s gone.

  • Groceries/Dining  – At the beginning of the week, we sit down with a meal planner and (Can you guess?) plan our meals.  The planner we use has a weekly calendar with a checklist below each day to build the grocery list.  At the bottom of the page is another checklist for staples that don’t apply to a specific day’s meal, like milk or snacks.   We build the list, then transfer it to another sheet, broken out by grocery department.  That keeps me from having to criss-cross the store.   I make one lap.  When I go to the store, I only bring that week’s grocery budget in cash,  so I keep close track of how much is going into the cart.    Recently, we’ve gotten so good at making our meals cheaply from scratch that I reduced our monthly food budget by $50.   I enjoy good food, so I wouldn’t reduce this budget item if it was a sacrifice in quality.   For example, the Rainbow Foods store-brand chips actually taste better than Lay’s for half of the price.    We stock up when things are on sale and cook creatively.   Sometimes, if time has been too tight to make a meal plan, we eat solely from the pantry for a week, buying nothing but bread and milk.   By sticking to the list, and not fearing the store’s brand, we are able to feed our family of 5 1/2 for $450 per month and still eat well.
  • Discretionary  – This is for the random things that come up, and some of the not-so-random.   Toiletries, activity fees, admissions, and fund-raisers all come out of this fund.  At the end of the month, whatever is left gets tucked into a box and forgotten.   When the box gets full, it goes to the bank to be applied to debt. There isn’t a lot to cut here, since this line-item is only $200.
  • Baby stuff  – This category is continually shrinking.   Our middle kid is recently potty-trained and our youngest is trying.   There is no baby food and no formula, just 1 pack of diapers every month.   In 6 months, this category will be eliminated.
  • Gas/oil  – This is the single category that isn’t cash-based.   It makes no sense to take the kids out of the car to pay inside, especially in the winter.    Also, all of the temptation is inside. It’s much better to spend the money at the pump.    There isn’t much we can do to reduce this, at the moment.   Our next car won’t be a full-sized pickup, but we are several years from that purchase.    We’ve started clipping oil-change coupons to keep this down to the minimum amount possible.
  • Clothes  – We only allocate $15 per month for clothes.   In a good month, we don’t spend it.   We can’t eliminate it completely, because things do come up.   Over the summer, I’m hoping to completely leave it alone to save up for a new(used) winter jacket for our older daughter, who doesn’t get hand-me-downs.
  • Blow Money  – This is the safety valve.  It can’t get reduced and still work.

We’ve now addressed out entire budget, including what we can do and have done to keep our costs under control.  Looking back, I don’t see too many cuts I’ve missed.

Budget Lesson, Part 4

Finance

Part 4 of the Budget Lesson series.  Please see Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 to catch up.  The Google Doc of this example is here.

The final category in my budget is “Set-aside funds”.  These are the categories that don’t have specific payout amounts and happen at irregular intervals.  When my car is paid off, there will be a car fund added to the list, instead of a new car payment.

  • Parties –  We throw two parties each year; a Halloween party and a summer barbecue.  We also have three children who have varying expectations and needs for their birthday parties.
  • Gifts – I don’t buy presents for my friends, and the number of relatives I buy gifts for has decreased dramatically over the years.  I do, however, buy birthday and Christmas presents for my wife and kids and I participate in some form of gift exchange with my brothers and their wives.  Combined, we set aside about $100 per month for parties and presents.
  • Pet Care – We have four cats and a dog.  This is to cover cat litter and food the bunch.  We have too many pets, but we can’t give them away.  They are family.  However, there is a moratorium on new animals for a few years.   Two cats and a dog are our hard limit.
  • Car Repair – Cars break.  Tires wear out.  This isn’t a surprise, and it certainly isn’t an emergency.
  • Warranty Fund – We are building up our own “Warranty Fund“, to replace appliances when they break.  I’d rather have the interest accruing than see this as a line-item fee on any of my bills.
  • Medicine/Medical – Kids get sick and prescriptions need to be filled.  We figure our monthly prescriptions plus one office visit per month, but the money accrues in this fund.  On low months, we have more, so we can cover the visits during flu season.
  • In The Hole – This isn’t actually a fund we set aside.  If, for some reason, we go over budget one month, it gets entered here to immediately pay ourselves back for the over-spend.  This month, this number is $170, which is how high we went over for Christmas.  Since we have all of the “Set asides” and non-monthly bills stored in the same account, there was no actual debt, just this “paper” debt to ourselves.  This serves the combined purposes of a mild punishment for overspending and a method to get back on track.

That is my entire budget laid out.   As the series continues, I’ll be examining how I have lowered the bills, how I could lower them more, and how I’ve screwed them up.

Budget Lesson, Part 5

Finance

I’ve explained my budget in some detail already.  See these posts for the history of this series.

Now, I’m going to go through each section, reviewing ways that I can reduce, or have reduced, my spending.  I’ll be starting with my monthly payments.

  • House Payment – I’ve mentioned that we have a small house payment.    A few years ago, when the interest rates dropped to almost the lowest point they reached in that particular cycle, we refinanced and got in under 5%.   There is nothing to cut.  We won’t refinance again, and the loan will be paid within 7 years, according to the lender’s schedule.  I’m aiming for 4 years.
  • Netflix – We’re on the 2 DVD/unlimited plan for $13.99.  We could drop down to the single DVD plan, but I’m worried that will trigger a rash of movie-buying.  2-at-a-time scratches that itch well.  I don’t think we’ll be reducing this plan in the foreseeable future. [Read more…] about Budget Lesson, Part 5

Budget Lesson, Part 1

Finance

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Image via Wikipedia

Over the next few weeks, I will be going over my budget in detail.

The first section is income, but that’s straightforward.  A line for each income source, bi-weekly, monthly and annual totals.  Simple.

Before we start, a word on the organization.  There are five columns:

  • Category – This is the description of the line item.
  • Cost – How much do you pay for this item?
  • Time – What is the frequency of the payment?  Valid values are ‘m’, ‘q’, ‘y’, ‘w’ for ‘Monthly’, ‘Quarterly’, ‘Yearly’ and ‘Weekly’.
  • Monthly – Cost and Time are combined to calculate the monthly expense, to make it possibly to budget.  If this is $100, I need to set aside a C-Note each and every month to make the payment when it comes due.
  • Yearly – This column is mostly informative.  It’s helpful to see this in comparison to my annual pay.

The first section I am actually going to address is discretionary spending.

  • Groceries/Dining    $475.00 – We don’t budget heavily for groceries, which would be a surprise if you saw me.  At the smallest I have ever been, fit, I was never small.  We shop smart, buy in bulk when it makes sense, and rarely eat out.  We also keep cooked rice and beans in containers in the refrigerator as a cheap and healthy way to stretch almost everything we eat.
  • Discretionary    $250.00 – This gets used for household items, like toilet paper and soap.  It also get used for the odd book or movie, or to cover the gaps between the other categories and reality.
  • Baby stuff    $60.00 – We have two children in diapers.  ‘Nuff said.  This category does get progressively smaller as the baby items are outgrown and the children get potty-trained.
  • Gas/oil    $200.00 – Gas and auto-maintenance.  This is actually higher than monthly costs, allowing us to set some aside for larger maintenance issues.
  • Clothes    $15.00 – All of our dressers are overflowing, so this is strictly replacement cost for the time being.  Our kids wear a lot of hand-me-downs.
  • Blow Money    $50.00 – Occasionally, habitual shoppers need to shop.  If they don’t do it on-budget, they will do it off-budget and kill the whole idea.

Initially, we used a “virtual envelope” system.  We had a spreadsheet and every time something was spent in this category, we entered the amount and stopped when the category was spent.   Didn’t work.  We are going on a pure, cash-only system as of the first of the year.  No money, no spendy.