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Five Ways to Save Money On Cable

Cable is a luxury. There are very few people out there who can actually and legitimately consider cable television to be a necessity of life. For the rest of us, it’s just something that’s nice to have. Unfortunately, it’s expensive. In my area, prices come as high as $90 plus tax, and that’s not including any of the fancy channels that could feed my True Blood addiction. If you start adding on channels, you can get up to $250 per month.

That’s a lot of cash.

Cutting back on cable TV is one of the easiest ways to get your spending under control. Here are 5 ways to make it happen.

1. Ditch it

Do you really need cable at all? How much of your life do you waste in front of the TV? This wouldn’t work well in my house. We enjoy too many shows, and a lack of TV aggravates my insomnia. When I wake up at 2AM, I need something mindless to distract me while I fall back asleep.

2. Netflix Instant

I love my Netflix. With Instant, as long as you aren’t too hooked on watching the latest show as it comes out, you can catch most of the show you enjoy. There are thousands of TV series to choose from. I make a habit of choosing a couple of shows at a time, and watching the entire series before moving on. This does have the drawback of leaving you a couple of seasons behind for some shows, like In Plain Sight. Grr.

3. Go basic

If you do need TV, do you need the extended cable-only channels? Can you get by with basic cable, and just get the shows that would be otherwise broadcast? That’s what we did. This, combined with #2, make TV cheap and easy.

4. All internet

Did you know that you can use a Roku box to get Netflix Instant, Hulu Plus, Crackle, and more? I have more channels available there than I’ve ever had on cable. Starting at $50, it’s a steal.

5. Drop the fancy channels

HBO, Skinimax, and Showtime are pure unnecessary luxuries. Save yourself some money and buy each series on DVD as they come out. If you buy one a month, you’ll still come out ahead.

I’m not about to tell you that cable is evil or that TV is rotting your brain. I enjoy my rot, and you should be able to do so, too. Try not to waste extra money doing it.

How do you save money on TV?

Making Up Stories

Finance

Saturday night, as I was walking out of the pizza place, I saw a beautiful young brunette standing on the sidewalk talking on her cell phone.

As I walked past, I heard, “I could pay my rent if they’d just give me my last paycheck! They owe me like $200.”

That’s it.

Have you ever heard a tiny piece of a conversation and used that to build a back story in your own mind?

I do that all of the time.

In fact, I’m going to do that now.

First, what can I know from those two sentences?

She was unemployed. She was more worried about her last paycheck than her next one.
She had worked for a scummy, fly-by-night, something-or-other. Good companies don’t withhold paychecks.
She had no emergency fund. If she had one, $200 would be an inconvenience, not a disaster.
She rented, and had roommates. This conversation occurred in the parking lot of a pizza place in a reasonably affluent suburb. For $200, she wasn’t living alone. Whether she rented a room or shared an apartment would be a mere guess.

Those items can–I believe–be taken as fact, given the evidence at hand.

Now for the conjecture:

She was a waitress. A $200 final paycheck probably means her hourly wage was low. Besides, pretty, young, unskilled girls often become waitresses. It’s one of the few ways to make good money without a degree of any kind.
The restaurant wasn’t a chain. Chain stores have lawyers and procedures. They don’t withhold final paychecks.
She invites drama into her life. When you work for a company that makes a habit of shady practices, like withholding final paychecks out of spite, you know it happens. It’s not a surprise. If you continue working there, you are just waiting in line for your turn to have problems.
She wasn’t close to her family. In an emergency, $200 from Mom & Dad is nothing. In my mind, she only has one parent and isn’t close to that parent, but that’s purely invention.
Her friends are in the same boat. Short-term planning, no reserve cash, no room to let a friend couch-surf for a couple of weeks.
Next month, she’ll be having the same problems, but she’ll find someone else to blame. Her ex owes her money, or her roommate stole the last of her cash.

That’s my entirely unsupported guess of a young stranger’s life story. My opinion isn’t flattering, but how could it be, when $200 is enough to make the young woman panic?

Have you ever played this game?

IRA or Powerball?

Finance

“When I win the Powerball, I’m going to buy that house and kick him out. I play diligently, so you know it’s going to happen.”

The Lotto Powerball logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had a friend say this to me this week. He’s poor–living on about $500 per month–and he was recently evicted from his apartment.

His plans for the future involve taking nearly 20% of his income and ~~burning it~~ playing the lottery. When he found out that I don’t play, he looked at me like I was stupid.

The odds of winning a life-changing amount of money are 1 in 5,153,632.65. That’s for a $1,000,000 prize. The next step down is $10,000, which, while helpful, won’t change many people’s situation for long. One in 5 million. That’s 5 times worse than your odds of being hit by lightning this year. It is, however, 4 times better than your odds of being sainted and 12 times worse than your odds of dating a supermodel.

It’s not going to happen.

Sure, play for fun–because turning cash into valueless slips of paper is a blast–but don’t play the lottery instead of working to improve your future. The lottery is NOT a retirement plan.

Instead, a much more reasonable plan is to date a millionaire. The odds of making that happen are just 215 to 1, and you can do things to improve your chances.

Improving the odds of dating a millionaire:

Hang out where millionaires go. Yacht clubs, nice restaurants, rehab, that dark corner of their bedroom where the lamp never quite reaches that just looks perfect for a stalker-cam.
Do what millionaires do. Golf, high-stakes poker, oppress third-world countries, Centrifugal Bumblepuppy.
Look like millionaire-bait. For my friend, the 50-year-old black man, it might be hard to look like a 23-year-old blonde hardbody, but it’s worth the effort.
Be nice, be polite, give good h…nevermind.

Seriously, getting a regular job and socking money away every month will give you a far better return on your investment than playing the lottery. Even if you’re saving it in a mayonnaise jar buried in the backyard next to that obnoxious guy who used to live next door, you will be building security and peace of mind. Every month, you will be better prepared for the storm of crap life tends to throw around.

Do you play the lottery? Why or why not?

What to Take Away From John Cleese’s Divorce

Celebrities

Cleese as a Mexican maraca soloist as part of ... — Cleese as a Mexican maraca soloist as part of his 1977 guest appearance on The Muppet Show (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you haven’t been kept under a rock your whole life, you’re likely familiar with actor and comedian John Cleese. Part of the infamous Monty Python crew, he starred in films such as Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail, and television shows such as Faulty Towers. However, are you familiar with what has happened to Mr. Cleese financially over the past few years?

When Cleese divorced his third wife she ended up with a divorce settlement that quite literally made her richer than him, despite the fact that they were married for only 16 years and had produced no children.

Divorce is, unfortunately, a fixture of modern society, and people of both sexes need to know how they can protect their personal finances in case of a divorce. After all, these days more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, so not preparing yourself financially for it is engaging is some rather wishful thinking. So how best to protect yourself and your personal finances, should you be unfortunate enough to have to go through one?

If you are the higher-earning party, get a pre-nup prior to marriage; this simply cannot be overemphasized. Cleese himself, already married to wife number four, incidentally, was told that he should have her sign a prenuptial agreement, he initially didn’t want to, despite having just been taken to the proverbial cleaners. He only reluctantly had one written up when his legal team essentially insisted. Even though prenups can be challenged or modified in court, if you are the party bringing more assets to the relationship, it is irresponsible of you not to solicit a prenuptial agreement from a potential spouse.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you should protect assets you have in joint accounts with your spouse, and also begin to actively monitor your credit, if things become acrimonious between you two. This way, you will prevent them from absconding with the totality of your shared funds, or ruining your credit if they are feeling malicious. If you need further information on how to do this properly, speak with a qualified financial planner.

So if you find yourself considering marriage and either have significant assets to protect or suspect you might have them in the future, you owe it to yourself to look into the legalities surrounding prenuptial agreements, and other thorny issues related to personal finance. Failure to do so can end up seriously impacting your life in a negative way, should you ever be faced with a vindictive or greedy spouse; protect yourself!

This Year’s Richest Kids

Celebrities

For teenagers in Hollywood, life is good if you are one of the top paid actors in the industry. While some people work their entire lives to become financially stable and have a life of luxury and glamor, it comes young for these actors and can be a whirlwind of opportunity. Here is a list of some of the richest and most famed teenage celebrities of 2013.

Elle and Dakota Fanning
It’s hard to believe that Dakota Fanning is still in her teen years considering she’s been working in Hollywood for nearly a decade now. However the teen actress still continues to demand big bucks for the big roles that she plays. This helped pave the path for her little sister, Ellie, who has been in a handful of scary movies like “I Am Sam” and “Super 8”. Together the sister’s net worth is over $20 million. And while most of that is accredited to Dakota, Ellie is starting to pull her own weight as she becomes more popular.Willow and Jaden Smith
Another set of siblings makes the list with Willow and Jaden Smith. Granted these two have had a lot of help and opportunity from their Fresh Prince father, but they are sure to keep the ball rolling on their own. The two have both already made their debut on the big screen, have had popular top-radio songs, and continue to diversify with their ventures. With the knowledge they get from their father, the Smith siblings are sure to continue to rack in the paychecks for the remainder of their teen years and beyond.Angus T. Jones
Everyone’s favorite “half-man” from the TV series Two And A Half Men makes the list of highest paid teens, even after he left the TV show in 2013. In 2010, Jones became the highest paid child actor at the ripe age of 17, as he penned a contracted that would earn him nearly $8 million over two years of work. No longer apart of the show, Angus T. Jones looks to find another break that will continue the success he found at such a young age.

Selena Gomez
The last year and a half has been huge for the former Disney Star. While some actors and actresses have a hard time shedding the Disney persona, Gomez has now branched out to more mature film roles and has become a legitimate player in the music industry as well, picking up Choice Break-Up Song and the Choice Music Star and the Choice Hottie Teen Choice awards. As her fame continues to grow, she also works closely with UNICEF and other non-profit organizations, proving that it doesn’t matter how much money you have, you can always do the right thing.

Miley Cyrus
This is the last year that Miley will be able to make the list of wealthy teens, but she is sure to continue to rack in the paychecks even as she enters her 20’s and beyond. A dual threat in singing and acting, she’s another Disney star that has shed the child–star persona and has developed her own new edgy look and identity. And even though she may no longer be the innocent Hanna Montana that she once was, she still keeps her fans entertained and interested with everything she works on. She picked up three Teen Choice Awards this year.

Justin Bieber
You better believe that the Beebs is on this list. Possibly the most loved/hated teenager in Hollywood, Justin Bieber continues to rake in the money that his ‘Beliebers’ shell out to see him in concert, listen to his music and buy his merchandise. You may love him, you may hate him, but either way he’s probably making more money than you and he’s having a great time doing it.

Some teens stars make more money in a year than majority of people will make in their entire lifetimes. This affords them opportunities of a lifetime to enjoy things other people only dream of. But as quickly as they become part of the limelight, new faces appear and take their place. These are some of the hottest faces of 2013, but who will be here next year?

Does Money Make Miley Cyrus Act Crazy?

Celebrities

If you’re like millions of people who saw Miley Cyrus’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards recently, you’ve probably wondered what the effect of massive success on the music and acting star. Cyrus seems to be

Cover of "Hannah Montana The Movie" — Cover of Hannah Montana The Movie

doing everything possible to remake her image in the exact opposite of her squeaky clean mold that Disney and other companies have created for her over the last several years. (A rumor has it that Disney even created a contractual obligation for Cyrus to maintain a certain haircut during her “Hannah Montana” television show.) There’s a sense of someone taking on their first sense of independence, and running with it — the star seemed to be sending the message to the audience that she was not going to live according to the expectations of others anymore, and from the look of it, they got that message loud and clear.

The horrified looks of Rihanna, Drake, and Will Smith aside, the real question people had is whether the massive financial rewards of Cyrus’ singing career can explain her crazy behavior. Cyrus is said to be worth about $100,000,000 — certainly a fortune by any standards. And since she is still struggling with the problems of young adulthood — forming an identity, understanding her values and taking a place in society, it’s very likely that her finances contribute to at least some of her behavior.This effect of money can come from many different areas of life. For one, many people who become wealthy at a young age are suddenly struck with the fact that they have no need to work, but who often want to develop a career and contribute to society. Take Steve Jobs for example, who at 31 years old was fired from Apple Inc. by the company’s board of directors. Jobs had in fact started the company himself, and was worth well over a hundred million dollars by that time. And yet, feeling like contributing to society was more important to his life than resting on his laurels, Jobs started a new company, NeXT, where he hoped to contribute inexpensive computers to universities.

The fact that Cyrus is barely into her 20s should tell you something about how much time she has to develop her career. She has enough to retire at an age when most people are just starting their first real job. And that is a tough position to be in. If she is hoping to push her singing and acting career well into adulthood — as most artists would like to — it may be that she is trying to make her mark now. Think of it a bit like Bob Dylan in 1964, releasing electric music for the first time, when before that point he was primarily known as a folk singer making gentle acoustic music.

Dylan’s idea may have been a bit like what Cyrus’ is. That is to say, maybe Miley Cyrus is trying to avoid becoming a has-been, a relic of the 2000’s who burned out playing inoffensive pop music. If this is the case, Cyrus may be able to shift her career into a different mode by showing herself to be an uncompromising artist. Remember that even the greats of the past — Frank Sinatra for example — were once viewed as essentially music for teenagers, and not serious artists. Sinatra even suffered career failure in his 20’s when his audience grew up and moved on to other things. But he came back to record success when he began allowing his music to mature and his ideas to gain focus. If Cyrus can pull such a move, she may not be remembered as a teeny-bopper, but as a serious artist.

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