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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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Blacksmithing, or Quality Time With a Teenager

Parenting

For the past few months, I’ve been taking blacksmithing lessons with my 16 year old son.

Diagram of a coal forge. In the book:"Pra...
Diagram of a coal forge. In the book:”Practical Projects for the Blacksmith”, it was noted that a forge like this can be made based on a barbeque-pan. This, by adding a hole and inserting a T-junction with a hairdryer (the whole costing about 60 € new, or $5 for both items when obtained secondhand/from the junkyard) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s something I’ve wanted to do for quite a while, but my schedule never lined up with the places that teach near me.

Then I forgot about it.

Last year, the History Channel started a new series called Forged In Fire, that made me think about it again. Better, the boy was interested, too.

If you don’t have a teenager, here’s some interesting information that’s almost universal:  teenagers suck.   You spend a dozen years of your life essentially doing everything for them.  Then one day, they have their own interests and want nothing to do with their parents.  I get it, it’s good for them to be independent and all, but it sucks for the parent who wants to spend time with the kid.

Enter blacksmithing.   I’m interested, the boy’s interested, and I’ve dropped most of my side projects to have more time for my family and myself.   Let’s do this.

Class number 1:  5 miles away, teaches Tuesday evenings at the height of rush hour.  That’s a 45 minute 5 mile drive.  It costs $350 each for an 8 session class, that I’d have to leave work early for and would cut into the kid’s homework.

Class number 2:  15 miles away, teaches full-day classes over eight consecutive Saturdays…for $120 each.  That’s awesome.   Except they book their entire year’s calendar of classes within 3 days of posting the schedule for the year.   When they got my paper registration in the mail(seriously, paper?  In 2015?), they called to tell me we were 6th on the waiting list.

Class number 3: 2 hours away.  Full day classes on Saturdays.  Held every Saturday, so we could come on our schedules.   Cost $100, but $200 total for a class as we want them is way more affordable than the $700 up front for class #1.   I’m sold.

Four classes into it, I find out that that’s the most classes I can pay for.   I’m still welcome to use the facility, but now I have to supply my own charcoal.   From here on out, it’s $50 for gas and $20 for charcoal to forge all day…and still get taught.    If we pass some tests, we can officially join and sell our creations in the gift shop.

Totally sold.

So now, the boy and I are making the drive once a month.   We talk during the drive, we work together on the forge.   I love my kid, and I love spending time with him.  I love making things, and I love sharing that love with my kids.   In a few years, he’ll move out, but he’ll remember this for the rest of his life.  It’s worth every cent.

 

The Spending Styles of the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Finance

Image via Wikipedia

Everybody has a spending style.  Like a fingerprint, it is unique to each individual, even if that individual is fictional.

Since it is the Halloween season, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a Halloween movie, I’m going to look at how those characters spend their money.

Janet Weiss – A Heroine

Janet is the stereotype of every suburbanite soccer-mom-who-hasn’t-gotten-married-and-had-kids-yet. She wants to keep up with the Joneses(“It’s nicer than Betty Monroe had! [Oh Brad!]”) and she is obviously impressed by and envious of people who have all of the trappings of the “finer things”.  If she has a credit card, you can bet that it is peeling on the sides from over-use.   While she wears conservative clothes and sensible shoes to go visit an old mentor, she’s almost definitely got a closet full of fancy shoes and a drawer full of real-baby-seal-skin g-strings.   If Brad were smarter, he’d run, and not just because of her loyalty issues.   She’ll never be content with a sensible car and modest house.

Brad Majors – A Hero

Brad is a pompous jerk who thinks he’s better than those around him.  He’s also extremely conservative and slow to accept change.   He’s going to give Janet an allowance and complain every time she spends a penny of it.   His investment portfolio is well-balanced and configured for long-term growth and he’s going to rub your nose in it at the neighborhood barbecue.   To shut him up, just ask why his kid was born with an accent and garters.

Magenta – A Domestic

What’s a domestic?  Magenta is the most financially responsible person in the show.   She’s third -in-command of an alien invasion, but still takes on a second job?  That’s a woman planning for retirement.   She’s not going to rely on anyone to support her.   She knows how to enjoy a party, without having to spend all of her money on a glitter-suit.

Columbia – A Groupie (as Little Nell)

Columbia is incapable of making a decision that wasn’t pre-formed by her peer group.  She’s doomed to chase every fad, hoping it will impress those around her.  While she’ll always be remembered for her glitter-suit or the corset that isn’t quite tall enough, she’ll never be happy or have a spare penny in case of emergencies.

Riff Raff – A Handyman

Riff Raff has jealousy issues.  He sees his boss and commander throwing a party and having a good time, but, instead of working towards being able to do that himself, he kills his boss and steals his house.  He is greedy, jealous, and deceitful.  Don’t ever turn your back on him, or he’ll steal your wallet, hit you over the head and bury you in the backyard just so he can pretend it’s his party.

Eddie – Ex Delivery Boy (as Meatloaf)

Eddie is out of his head (H-E-D).   He’s the tag-a-long who will keep buying expensive dinners that he can’t afford in an attempt to impress whoever is around to see him pick up the check.  He isn’t sure how to fit in, but he’s positive that he can buy his way there.    In reality, he’s dead(spelled right) broke and will end up getting screwed.

Rocky Horror – A Creation

Here is the true blank slate.   He’s just seven hours old, so he’s got no bad habits to break.  Unfortunately, he’s never had to learn any hard lessons, so his head is easily turned by an glittered bauble or babbling, half-dressed flake.   He’s incapable of making an informed decision about anything, so he follows everyone around getting whatever they like.   He’ll spend his entire life getting by on his looks, which will almost always be successful, until life catches up to him and he dies broke and alone.

Dr. Frank-N-Furter – A Scientist

Frank knows how to throw a party.  He travels 12 billion light years brings not only a keg, but the entire party house with him.   Who wouldn’t want to be his friend?   There’s a fancy house, a room to stay in if you drink too much, pretty people being built in the lab, and gourmet corn-fed delivery-boy being served for dinner.   Watch out, though.  He doesn’t tend to his job.  One day,  the credit cards will be maxed, the bank will foreclose on the house and send it back to Sweet Transexual Transylvania, leaving Frank penniless.  Who will be his friend then?

Which Rocky character are you?

           Science Fiction
           Double Feature.
           Frank has built and
           Lost his creature.
           Darkness has conquered
           Brad and Janet.
           The servants gone to
           A distant planet.

Integrity

Life, Parenting, Relationships

The true measure of a man’s integrity is not what he will do, but rather what he won’t do.
-Flannery O’Connor

Have you watched a TV lately? Have you noticed that most sitcoms are based entirely on dishonesty? If the characters would stop lying to each other, the premise of most shows would fall apart. How much humor can be found in getting caught in a lie, week after week? If I lived in one of those homes, there would be a divorce happening immediately.  There’s no integrity in any of the relationships.

Integrity means no lying, cheating, or stealing.  It means you deal with everyone honestly and honorably.  You don’t cheat on your wife, or make BS excuses to your kids.  You have to make sure you have nothing to feel guilty about and expect the same from the people you deal with. It’s not always easy. If a waitress accidentally forgets to ring up a meal, or a store clerk only rings up one DVD, or the scanner borks itself and give an extra 50% off, you speak up, even if it costs $100. That’s honesty.

Ultimately, what you do during the day, you have to sleep with at night. This includes avoiding responsibilities.  Always do what you say, barring forgetfulness, and in that case,  make up for it immediately.  Don’t break promises,  don’t skip out on debts, and don’t get into commitments you have no intention of honoring.

I’ve discovered that the best way to keep your stories straight is to only tell the truth. I don’t have to coordinate an alibi or remember which lie I told to which person if I am honest in all of my dealings. It’s not the easy path. It would be easier to sneak large purchases into the house, or tell my wife I was working late instead of going out for a beer. There are a lot of shortcuts I refuse to take with my life. People act like I’m stupid because I won’t cheat anyone. I enjoy being treated like that, because it means I know who to avoid in the future.  If you break promises, lie, cheat, steal, or skip out on your responsibilities, I don’t want to associate with you.  Honesty is an important part of my life and relationships.  I won’t apologize for that.

What are your core values?

A Moment of Clarity

Finance

Money money money!
Image by Matt Stratton via Flickr

Ten years ago, I buried myself in debt. There was no catastrophic emergency or long-term unemployment, just a series of bad decisions over the course of years.

We bought a (short) series of new cars, a house full of furniture, electronics, hundreds of books and movies, and so much more.   We threw a wedding on credit and financed an addition on our house.   We didn’t gamble or drink it away, we just spent indiscriminately.  We have a ton of stuff to show for it and a peeling credit card to prove it.

What changed?

In October 2007, we found out brat #3 was on the way.    Don’t misunderstand, this was entirely intentional, but our…efficiency caught us by surprise.   It took several years to get #2.   We weren’t expecting #3 to happen in just a couple of weeks.   #2 wasn’t even a year old when we found out she was going to be a big sister.  That’s two kids in diapers and three in daycare at the same time.

The technical term for this is “Oh crap”.

I spent weeks poring over our expenses, trying to find a way to make our ends meet, or at least show up in the same zip code occasionally.

I finally made my first responsible financial decision…ever.   I quit smoking. At that point, I had been smoking a pack a day or more for almost 15 years.   With the latest round of we’re-going-to-raise-the-vice-tax-to-convince-people-to-drop-their-vices-then-panic-when-people-actually-drop-their-because-we-made-them-too-expensive taxes, I was spending at least $60 per week, at least.

Interesting side story: A few years ago, Wisconsin noticed how many Minnesotans were crossing the border for cheap smokes and decided to cash in by raising their cigarette taxes.   The out-of-state market immediately dried up.  Econ 101.

So I quit, saving $250 per month.

Our expenses grew to consume that money, which we were expecting.  (Remember, we were expecting a baby!)   Unfortunately, our habits didn’t change.   We still bought too much, charged too much on our credit cards, and used our overdraft protection account every month.  At 21% interest!

Nothing else changed for another year and a half.  My wife would buy stuff I didn’t like and we’d fight about it.  I’d buy stuff she didn’t like and we’d fight about it.   When we weren’t arguing about it, we’d just silently spend it all as fast as we could.

Bankruptcy was looming. We had $30,000 on our credit cards and our overdraft protection account was almost maxed out.  Have you ever thought you’d have to sell your house quickly?

One day, while I was researching bankruptcy attorneys, I ran across Dave Ramsey.   When I got to daycare that evening to pick up the kids, I noticed they had The Total Money Makeover on the bookshelf, so I asked to borrow it.

I read the book twice, had a very frank discussion with my wife about the possibility of bankruptcy, and we set out on the path to financial freedom together.

What made you decide to handle your finances responsibly?  Or, perhaps more importantly, what’s holding you back?

5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits

Finance

Sexy smoker
Image by BBQ Junkie via Flickr

If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting what you you’ve always gotten.  One of the hardest things about getting out of debt is changing your habits.     You need to break your habits if you’re going to get yourself to a new place, financially.

How can you do that?  Habits aren’t easy to break.  Ask any smoker, junkie, or overeater what it takes.  There are a lot of systems to break or establish habits, but they don’t all work for everyone.

Here are my suggestions:

  1. Commit to just 30 days.  I’m a big fan of doing new things for 30 days.   If you can do it for a month, you can do it forever, no matter what “it” is.   For just one month, don’t buy anything.  I don’t mean avoid buying groceries or toiletries and I certainly don’t mean to stock up on new crap the day before your 30 day spending fast or rush out for a shopping spree on day 31.  Just don’t buy anything for a month, no exceptions but the things necessary to stay alive and healthy.  No movies, no games, no cars, no toys, and no expensive meals.  Just 1 month.
  2. Switch methods. If you pay for everything with a credit card, restrict yourself to just cash.  If you pay cash for everything, switch to a credit card.  Breaking your long-established habits is a way to get used to spending consciously: taking the time to think about what you are doing, instead of just spending mindlessly.
  3. Identify your spending triggers. I can’t go into a book store and come out empty handed.  So, I avoid bookstores.   My wife has problems with clothing stores.   A friend can’t walk out of a music store without some body piercing equipment.  What are your triggers?  What makes you spend money without thinking?   Figure out what those things are and then avoid them like the plague…or the clap.
  4. Quit buying things for pleasure. Buying things makes us feel good.  It sends a rush of endorphins through our bodies.  The more we get that rush, the more we crave that rush, so the more we do to get it.   You need to stop that.  Before you buy something, ask yourself if it’s something you actually need, or if you just want a pick-me-up.
  5. Avoid shopping online.  E-commerce sites make it far too easy to buy things at a moment’s notice.   You don’t have to think about what you are doing or if you actually need whatever you are buying.  You just buy.   The best way too avoid them is to delete your credit card information from any site that save the information and delete the sites from your bookmarks.  Whatever you can do to slow down the buying process will make it easier to avoid buying things, which can soon be stretched into NOT buying things at all.

Habits—especially bad habits—are hard to break.  There is an entire self-help niche dedicated to breaking habits.  Hypnotists, shrinks, and others base their careers on helping others get out of the grip of their bad habits, or conning them into thinking it is easy to do with some magic system.   How do you avoid or break bad habits?

 

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