- I tried to avoid it. I really did, but I’m still getting a much bigger refund than anticipated. #
- Did 100 pushups this morning–in 1 set. New goal: Perfect form by the end of the month. #
- RT @BudgetsAreSexy: Carnival of Personal Finance is live 🙂 DOLLAR DOODLE theme: http://tinyurl.com/ykldt7q (haha…) #
- Hosting my first carnival tomorrow. Up too late tonight. #
- Woot! My boy won his wreslting match! Proud daddy. #
- The Get Home Card is a prepaid emergency transportation card. http://su.pr/329U6L #
- Real hourly wage calculator. http://su.pr/1jV4W6 #
- Took my envelope budget out in cash, including a stack of $2s. That shouldn’t fluster the bank teller. #
Birthdays on the Cheap
Birthdays are expensive. Shoot, I’ve said that before. It’s usually true, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are five ways to cut birthday party costs. Note: If you’re trying to cut costs on an adult party, just replace the word “kid” with “guest of honor”.
1. Location, location, location. The amusement park/pizza place is nice if you like bad pizza, but it’s certainly not cheap. The inflatable playground may be the talk of the school for a day or two, but it’ll flex your debit card in ways it’s just not used to. Why? Kids, being kids, are capable of entertaining themselves. They’ve got imaginations that should make most adults weep with envy. If that fails, make them play a board game or in the worst case, some video games. Lock the wild young’ns in the basement and let ’em go nuts for a couple of hours. It’ll be a blast, I promise.
2. Why invite the world? How many friends does your kid actually have? I’m not talking about all of the kids in school he’s not fighting with or every kid on the block that hasn’t TP’d your house. I mean actual friendship. If they don’t play together regularly, nobody will be offended about missing an invitation. Invite the entire class? That’s just nuts. Thirty ankle-biters smearing cupcakes on the wall? No thank you. You kid will have more fun with 2-3 close friends than 20-30 acquaintances.
3. Toy flood. What was the last toy your kid played with? The last 10? How many toys have been completely neglected for months or years? How many stuffed animals are buried so deep in the pile in the corner that they are wishing for a fluffy Grim Reaper to come put them out of their misery? Don’t buy your kid clutter. It’s a hassle to clean up–and you will–and it trains them into bad habits for a lifetime. One or two things that they will treasure(or, better yet, wear!) will work our much better for everyone than a dozen things to forget in a toy box. Too many toys guarantees that the kid won’t get attached to any of them. Down with kid-clutter!
4. Designer Cake. Who needs a fancy cake? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you going to start a fire on the thing, then cut it up and give it to a dozen little runts to rub in their hair? If you can’t bake it yourself, a quarter sheet is cheap at the big box grocery stores and will guarantee leftovers. Nothing starts the week better than chocolate marble cake for breakfast on Monday.
5. Food. Don’t. That was easy. Scheduling is an important way to keep costs down. Don’t have the party at lunch time. For small children, 1:30 PM is about perfect. The parents won’t stick around once the kids are ready for a nap. For older kids, 4PM means they will need to be home for dinner. That cuts the menu down to kool-aid, light snack food, and cake. It also ensures that the party won’t drag on forever.
It’s possible to have a budget birthday party without being totally lame. Give it a shot. Your kids won’t mind.
This post is a blast from the past.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-05
- Working on my day off and watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. #
- Sushi-coma time. #
- To all the vets who have given their lives to make our way of life possible: Thank you. #
- RT @jeffrosecfp: While you're grilling out tomorrow, REMEMBER what the day is really for http://bit.ly/abE4ms #neverforget #
- Once again, taps and guns keep me from staying dry-eyed. #
- RT @bargainr: Live in an urban area & still use a Back Porch Compost Tumbler to fertilize your garden (via @diyNatural) http://bit.ly/9sQFCC #
- RT @Matt_SF: RT @thegoodhuman President Obama quietly lifted a brief ban on drilling in shallow water last week. http://bit.ly/caDELy #
- Thundercats is coming back! #
- In real life, vampires only sparkle when they are on fire. -Larry Correia #
- Wife found a kitten abandoned in a taped-shut box. Welcome Cat #5 #
Fighting Fair
This was a guest post on another site early last year.
Everyone, at times, has disagreements. How boring would life be if everyone agreed all of the time? How you handle those disagreements may mean disaster.
This is particularly true when you are arguing with your spouse. You spend most non-working moments with this one person, this wonderful, loving, infuriating person. Your emotions will naturally run high while discussing the things you care most about with the person you care most about. Arguments are not only natural, but inevitable.
How do you have an argument with someone you love without lasting resentment?
You have to argue fairly. There are a few principles to remember during an argument.
- When your partner is talking, your job is to listen with all of your energy. You are not interrupting. Your are not planning your rebuttal while waiting for your turn to talk. Your are listening, nothing else. If you don’t listen, you can’t understand. If you don’t understand, you can’t find a resolution.
- Remember that your partner cares. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t feel so strongly about the argument. This isn’t a war, just an argument. She still wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Keeping this in mind will change the entire tone of the argument into a positive interaction. You will still disagree, but you will be looking for a solution together, instead of finding a “win” at any cost.
- Search for the best intent. Remember #2? There is an incredibly good chance that, if there are two ways to interpret something your partner has said–a good way and a bad way–your partner probably meant the good way. Even if you are wrong, it is far better to err on the side of resolution than the side of antagonism.
- When your partner has finished speaking, it’s still not your turn to argue. Your job now is to repeat your understanding of the issue, without worrying about problem-solving. Before you can refute the argument–or even establish your disagreement–you have to know that you understand her position and she has to know that you do. Without understanding, there can be no path to resolution that doesn’t cause resentment. If you have too much resentment, you won’t have a marriage.
After all of this, it will finally be your turn to make your point. Hopefully, your partner will be following the same rules so you can solve your problems together, without learning to hate each other.
Arguments in your marriage aren’t–or shouldn’t be–intended to draw blood. Fights happen. If your goal is to win at any cost, you will both lose, possibly everything.
Shaving for Real
- Image via Wikipedia
When you look at a safety razor, you see the mostly-unguarded blade. When you look in the mirror, you see your throat and you see this blade–by definition, razor-sharp–and you realize that you are about to put a knife to your own throat. Why?
Because shaving sucks.
For my 18th birthday, I received 2 Mach3 razors. I used them for more than 10 years. It certainly beat disposable Bics, but not by much.
I liked it, but only because I didn’t have anything good to compare it to.
I’ve start using an old-fashioned safety razor. Now, I can shave smoother and with less irritation than I ever could with a modern razor and it only takes a few extra minutes.
Why would you want to abandon modern technology to put a blade against your jugular?
Modernization isn’t always an improvement. There is something about reaching back in time a couple of generations and doing things, not only the way they used to be done, but the way they should be done. It’s the same feeling I get handling an old rifle or sitting in an antique car.
A real shave is 15 minutes of peace and focus. Lock the kids out of the bathroom and focus on the task at hand. The concentration will usually give you a chance to forget about the rest of the world for just a few minutes. This is pure meditation.
As a benefit, when you’re done, you feel refreshed and well-groomed. It feels good to take care of yourself.
What do you need to shave like a real man?
Start slow and ease your way into it. Put a cup in the bathroom. If you shave with a modern razor, the easiest way to improve your shave is to use hot water. Put your shaving cream in the cup and add a bit of hot water. Mix that up and use it to shave. The hot foam will do wonders for your skin and the closeness of your shave. I did that and immediately start trolling antique stores looking for a good, cheap shaving brush.
A brush makes applying your shaving cream a small pleasure. Spreading the hot foam on your face with a brush gets in on all sides of each hair, softening it for the razor. Ideally, you want a badger-hair brush, but I’ve been perfectly happy with boar hair. I found one at an antique store for $5.
Shortly after acquiring my antique shaving brush, I decided to go even older-school and upgraded to an old-fashioned safety razor. I took my life, and my life-blood, in my own hands to shave for real. I went with a Merkur 23C Long Handle Safety Razor. It’s a basic razor with a longer handle, because I have large hands and long fingers. Don’t worry about getting an adjustable razor. There’s no point. It cost $29 at West Coast Shaving*.
You will need blades for the razor. West Coast Shaving sells a variety pack of 45 blades for $15. Try them all and stick with the one that works best for your facial hair. I tend to change blades every 4-5 shaves. More than that, and they get a bit dull and make me bleed. I try to avoid bleeding.
Now that you’ve got a brush, a razor, and blades, it’s time to get rid of the worthless can of shaving foam. Shaving soap works much better. You can get 3 discs of Col. Conk’s soap for $15, and they will last 6 months each, easily. They are almost exactly the same diameter as a regular coffee cup, so guess what? Just drop it in your cup.
That’s everything you need to shave for just $65, and of that only the blades and soap are recurring costs. Your razor and brush will last forever. I figure it costs me about $1 per month to shave, now.
How do you avoid killing yourself while getting ready for work?
It’s all a matter of technique.
- Dampen your cheeks with hot water to soften the hair. I prefer to shave immediately after I shower.
- Run hot water over your brush. Get it thoroughly soaked, then shake off the excess water. You want it hot and wet, but not dripping.
- Briskly brush the soap disk until the brush picks up as much soap as it can. It may or may not form a lather in the cup.
- Put the brush on your face and whisk it around. I use a quick circular motion to build up a lather on my cheeks. This works the hot soap into each hair. Keep brushing it onto your face until it forms peaks.
- Pick up your razor. I run it under some hot water, just so the cold metal isn’t a shock after the hot foam. From here, you need your full attention on what you are doing.
- Shave.
When you are shaving there are a few things to keep in mind.
- Take your time.
- Never, ever, ever, ever turn the blade while it is in contact with your face. You will bleed. Once the blade touches your face, it goes in a straight line.
- Keep the edge of the blade as close to parallel with your face as possible.
- The goal is hair reduction, not removal.
I make 4 passes when I shave. First, I shave from the top down. Next, from the back towards my nose and mouth. Then, from the front to the back. Finally, I shave against the grain from the bottom to the top. This results in a closer shave than anything I’ve ever had with a modern razor.
When I think I’m done, I dip my fingers in some warm water and run them around my face, in all possible directions, to see if I missed a spot.
When the hair is gone, wipe of the remaining cream and splash cold water every place the razor touched. This closes the pores and will help prevent infections and razor bumps.
The last step is aftershave. Aftershave disinfects your face. It also prevents infections and makes you stink nice.
There you have it: the secret to a baby-butt-smooth shave and 10-20 minutes of masculine meditation. If you are looking for a present for someone, you could do a lot worse than a real razor set.
*I have absolutely no affiliation with WCS. I am just very happy with the service and the product.
How Much is Your Pet Worth?
A few years ago, one of our cats had a urinary tract blockage. When that happened, the cat’s bladder became almost rock-hard. He was in pain.
Naturally, this came to our attention late on a Saturday evening. Our choices were to leave the cat in pain or head to the emergency vet. One x-ray, one emergency catheter, and 2 nights in the vet’s office later, we charged the $750 bill and brought the cat home. He lived about two more years and had to be on a special UT-friendly diet. He spent the next two years with poor bladder control and very little energy.
About the same time, I had a coworker with a cancer-ridden cat. Until that time, I had no idea that you could get chemotherapy for a cat. Between the chemo and the regular surgeries to remove tumors, they were dropping a few thousand dollars every few months.
Recently, a friend’s cat ate a ball of twine and narrowly avoided intestinal surgery that would have cost $2500. He was willing to pay instead of seeing his 8 year old cry. I figured a new kitten would soothe her hurt.
How much is too much to spend on an animal?
When our cat needed a trip to the fuzzy emergency room, we had no savings. I’m not sure how we were keeping our bills paid. $750 was a lot of money, but we didn’t hesitate. Afterward, we discussed it and decided that it wouldn’t happen again. When a pet needed that much care, it would be time to put it down.
We’ve currently got a 17 year old arthritic cat. I tried discussing its end-of-life options, but my wife looked at me like I was asking her to punt bunnies into a lake. I fear we’re going to be paying a lot to stretch out the end of the cat’s life.
Now, before anyone tells me that I hate animals, we have 5 cats, 3 kids, 2 gerbils, 2 pythons, and a dog. We are an animal-friendly house. Or we keep spares.
That said, it’s the natural order of things. People outlive their pets. When you buy a pet–with the exception of giant tortoises and some birds–some part of you knows you are going to outlive it. What’s the right amount to spend, trying to stretch out the most uncomfortable years of a pet? When does the financial burden outweigh the companionship? When do I go from cold-hearted jerk to financially-responsible pet-owner?
For the pet owners out there, how have you dealt with this? How much would you spend to keep your pets kicking?
