This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
Sunday Roundup: 30 Day Project, January Wrap-Up
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30 Day Project Update
This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.
I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.
Weight: I have lost 22 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 2 pounds since last week.
Total Inches: I have lost 11.5 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 since last week.
I’m sad. I’m only down 2 more pounds this week. On the other hand, I’m averaging almost a pound a day without exercising. I’m on a new belt loop and I’ve actually lost a ring size. I’m going to keep this up for another month. That’s the beautiful thing about 30 Day Projects: A month isn’t an intimidating length of time. My goal for next month is to drop another 20 pounds.
That said, this is a pretty easy diet to follow. If I get a hankering for a candy bar on Wednesday, it’s far easier to tell myself to wait 3 days than it is to tell myself that it will never happen. Moderation has never been my strong suit. It’s far easier for me to set some solid rules that give me a built-in outlet.
Best Posts
Do you really want to tie yourself down for the next 30 years. Sandy doesn’t, and I agree. 30 year mortgages suck.
Trent lists seven common bills and ways to save on each.
Free From Broke ran a guest post from Melissa on how–and why–to freeze your credit.
Larry Correia’s new book, Hard Magic, is available as an Early Advanced Read Copy from Baen Books. That means you can read the book before it is published. It’s not quite as polished as the final, but still quite good. I’ve read the first 7 chapters and am looking forward to reading the final version.
LRN Timewarp
This is where I review the posts I wrote one year ago.
In Make Yourself Accountable, I list several ways to achieve your goals, primarily by getting other people involved, either to talk you down or to participate in your public humiliation if you fail.
In 6 Questions, I reveal the details of how I manage my finances. The only one that has changed in the last year is #1. We have moved back to our debit card now that we’ve established better habits.
I also wrote a post about preparing your children to deal with their finances. The most important one is to teach delayed gratification. Yesterday, my son finally had enough money to buy himself a PSP, after saving for it for months. He earned it and he is incredibly thrilled to have it.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked
What Happens When You Save was an Editor’s Pick at the Totally Money Carnival. Thank you, Crystal!
5 Steps to Save was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
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Have a great weekend!
Bonding Relationships
People can’t be happy in a vacuum. We are social creatures. Even the most anti-social among us needs some human contact. How can you make that contact happen in a meaningful way? How can you connect with other people beyond some superficial meaningless chatter?
According to Keith Ferrazzi in his book, Who’s got your back, there are four mindsets necessary to build lifelong relationships.
1. Generosity. This is your promise to help others succeed. If have a skill that can help someone you know, why not give them a hand? when you help others, you are building social capital, which is a currency that cannot be bought. Since our lives are not ledger books, you can’t do favors with repayment in mind, but it is reasonable to assume that the people ou help will want to help you some day.
An often overlooked generosity strategy is to give away 90% of everything. I’m not suggesting you give away 90% of your wealth or possessions. I’m suggesting you give away 90% of your personal product. Plan to give away 9 times more than your receive. This will not only keep your from being disappointed, but it will also leave you feeling very fulfilled.
2. Vulnerability. It is important to let down your guard and let the world see your humanity. It’s almost impossible to truly connect with someone who’s shields are always up: the guy who seems to be invulnerable and unapproachable. The people you spend time with know your flaw anyway. If you pretend they don’t exist, you are only fooling yourself. I have a lot of problem with this one. Letting down my guard is incredibly difficult, in almost every circumstance. It is far easier to be strong than to let myself be vulnerable.
3. Candor. Total honesty is vital to establishing–and maintaining– lifelong relationships. Even the white lies can destroy your connections. If you can lie about the little things, you are planting doubts on everything else you do and say. Who can trust you then? Lying is inappropriate in almost all conceivable cases. I was raised that a man’s word is his bond. Almost everything you have can be taken away from you, but not your honor. That can only be destroyed by you. Without it, what do you really have?
4. Accountability. You need to follow through on your promises. Be Mr. Reliable(or Mrs!). If you say you will do something, do it! Nothing builds resentment faster than disappointing the people who are counting on you. If you can’t meet a commitment, let the soon-to-be-let-down know as early as possible, so other plans can be made. If you have a hard time keeping promises, then make fewer of them.
If you embrace these principles, you will be well on your way to building–and keeping–strong, satisfying relationships that benefit everyone.
How do you build your relationships?
$1500 Luxury
I’ve got some expensive habits. Not like Charlie Sheen snorting $2500 of blow of a hooker’s boobs, but still expensive.
My latest one is dancing lessons. Linda surprised me on one of weekly date nights a few months ago. She found a Groupon for the dancing studio we used before we got married. It was $69 for a month of unlimited group lessons.
When the month was up, we signed on for their beginner cycle of lessons, which cost another $400.
And now we’re starting the Social Foundation program.
Social Foundation is a series of classes that teach some advanced moves, but also to teach dancers how to lead and follow properly and how to dance socially and look respectable on a dance floor in any number of situations. Leading and following are important because every single dance move out there has specific cues that tell your partner what’s coming next. If she doesn’t know, you both look clumsy.
So we chose the four dances we’re going to learn better and signed up. We’re going to learn the Rumba, Waltz, Tango, and Swing. We’re already pretty good at Rumba and Swing, but we’re going to get better. Personally, I’m hoping to also figure out how to use the Tango on an open dance floor without crashing into people. That way, we can pretend to be Gomez and Morticia, my heroes.
Now, the thing is, dance lessons aren’t cheap. They cost about $100 per hour, where an hour is defined as 45 minutes. We’re rolling the last half of our beginner lessons into our social foundation lessons and paying $1400.
Ouch.
They gave us the option of financing it over 3-4 months, but I didn’t want to pay an extra $200 for the privilege. I think we’ll be tapping the vacation fund to pay for the lessons.
Why am I willing to pay this much?
Dancing is one of the very few things Linda and I both enjoy. We’re pretty good at it, it’s great exercise, it’s fun, and (shhh!) it counts as foreplay. It also doesn’t hurt to have the sidelines of the dance floor lined with people watching us dance, wishing they could do what we’re doing…or wishing their husbands were willing to learn how to dance. This also isn’t just something we’re doing at the studio. We are out on a dance floor dancing to a live band almost every week. That usually comes with about $25 in cover charges and drinks.
Fun, exercise, have sex, and inspire jealousy. That’s a winning combination. And finding things to do that we both love to do is difficult and easily worth the $2000 we’ve paid the dance studio this year.
Balance Your Borked Budget
You’ve got a budget worked out to the penny. You know every dollar that comes in and every dime that you spend. All of your bills are getting paid on time. Then, one day, it all comes crashing down. Your budget is no longer even a reasonable approximation of your cash flow. You’ve got no idea what’s coming in or going out. Bills are piling up and fees are digging you deeper in debt.
What happened? More importantly, how do you get back on track?
The first thing you need to do is identify the problem. What, exactly, went wrong? Did you lose your job or need a surprise botox injection? Your car died or your kid developed a hockey habit? Sports car or shoe sale? Whatever the cause, if you can’t identify it, you can’t deal with it. Some of the possible problems may be things that can get clubbed and buried in the backyard, while other things may be expenses that won’t be going away. If it’s a one-time expense, you can simply refocus your debt repayment to take it into account. If it’s an ongoing expense, you will need to adjust your other expenses, possibly in a drastic manner, to make ends meet. You can’t know which way to go without knowing what caused the problem.
Next, commit to to making it right. Don’t leave it at a mere commitment. Actually commit and actually do it right. Future-you is counting on you to fix the problem before he gets screwed. This is important. Without firm–and real–commitment, nothing else will matter. At best, you will be treading water. At worst, you will drown yourself in unanticipated bills.
Cut everything extra. Every expense–whether it’s your mortgage or your maid–is a rock in your pocket, one hundred miles from shore. How much can you carry and stay afloat? This isn’t the time to keep paying something because you enjoy it. If it isn’t absolutely necessary, it’s got to go. Cut your internet, cancel Netflix, learn to shut off the lights when you aren’t using them. Is the early termination fee less than 6 months of your cable bill, your satellite bill? Cancel it. You can always sign up again later. This is the time to be ruthless.
Is there a way to bring in some extra cash? Can you pick up a second job, or land a freelancing gig? If you’ve suddenly found yourself unemployed, can you spend some time on being a Mechanical Turk? Sell all of the things you don’t use anymore, or, more likely, never should have bought in the first place? Do you have a spare kidney?
Remember, this is a drastic situation calling for drastic measures. Your future is depending on you. Don’t make him come back and kick your butt.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Festival of Frugality #278: The Pure Peer Pressure Edition
Welcome to the Festival of Frugality #278: The Pure Peer Pressure Edition. If everyone else was jumping off of a cliff, would you do it, too? Maybe not, but what happens if you surround yourself with people who hold the same values as you and are striving for personal growth in the same way? Peer pressure doesn’t have to be negative.
“Peer pressure is not a monolithic force that presses adolescents into the same mold. . . . Adolescents generally choose friend whose values, attitudes, tastes, and families are similar to their own. In short, good kids rarely go bad because of their friends.” – Laurence Steinberg
Shameless plug: If you like what you see, please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS or follow us on Twitter. All your friends are doing it.
Editor’s Picks:
Dinks Finance shows us a few ways to negotiate your mortgage fees. Take a few minutes to read this post before you get a mortgage.
Money Ning reminds us that everyone needs a crappy job early in their working life.
Personal Finance by the Book is leading the fight against the 100,000 mile mindset.
Free Money Finance shows several ways to have fun dates on the cheap. My secret is to make it look “creative” and “unique” instead of “cheap”. You don’t have to cave to the pressure of “expensive” to have a good time.
“Most literature on the culture of adolescence focuses on peer pressure as a negative force. Warnings about the “wrong crowd” read like tornado alerts in parent manuals. . . . It is a relative term that means different things in different places. In Fort Wayne, for example, the wrong crowd meant hanging out with liberal Democrats. In Connecticut, it meant kids who weren’t planning to get a Ph.D. from Yale.” – Mary Kay Blakely
The Best of the Rest:
Budgeting in the Fun Stuff talks about my favorite tax-funded institution: the Library. I’ve easily save thousands of dollars since I started using the library consistently.
Babies are undeniably expensive. Squirrelers provides some tips on limiting the early expenses.
“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” – Author Unknown
Wealth Pilgrim shows how his daughter discover the secret to saving 80% on college costs. The trick isn’t just going to a state school, but what you do when you get there.
ptMoney shares some copy-cat recipe sites. I love making copy-cat meals with better quality ingredients for half the price.
“Every society honors its live conformists, and its dead troublemakers.” – Mignon McLaughlin
Magical Penny recommends tracking your net worth. Mint makes that easy to do.
Smart Wallet talks about going cash-only and the benefits of credit cards. I am currently cash-only, but plan to transition to a good rewards card when all of the debt is gone.
Simple Life in France discusses radical simplicity and frugality in relationships.
“There’s one advantage to being 102. There’s no peer pressure.” – Dennis Wolfberg
I’m a bit of a foodie and more than a bit cheap, so when Not Made of Money talks about creative uses for some we stock up on, I’m listening.
Wanderlust Journey explains the Carnival Cruise loyalty program. I’ve been on exactly one cruise and enjoyed it quite a bit. It’s not the best method of travel for all possible destinations, but I can’t think of a better way to spend a couple of weeks in the Caribbean.
Beating Broke just saved a ton of money by switching to…wait, wrong venue. Read how they saved money on a remodel. Don’t be afraid to use your social capital–the skills of the people who care about you.
“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” – Anatole France
If you’ve got kids who are planning to play an instrument, you’ll want to pay attention to Budgets are Sexy‘s ideas on saving money on musical instruments.
Free From Broke talks about the hidden costs of home ownership. A home is a never-ending money sink.
“Peer pressure has many redeeming qualities. It is the pressure of our peers, after all, that gives us the support to try things we otherwise wouldn’t have.” – Bill Treasurer
Suburban Dollar explains Swagbucks.
Money Help for Christians shares some tips to save money. I particularly enjoyed the coupon walk-through link.
Provident Planning talks about someone living happily on $7000 per year. I can’t imagine making it on that.
A “Normal” person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, “Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray.” – Alan Sherman
Final plug: If you enjoyed yourself, don’t forget to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS or follow us on Twitter. All your friends are doing it. The coolest ones are even fans of LRN on Facebook.
