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Halloween Decorations Ain’t Cheap

Finance

This year, Americans are expected to drop $5.8 billion on Halloween, with most people spending $66.28 per person.  About 1/3 of that is candy.

Zombie Girl
Zombie Girl

The rest?  Costumes and decorations. $4,000,000,000 on costumes and decorations.  That’s a lot of freakin’ money.

Over the years, I have certainly spent more than my fair share on building that number.  We are the Halloween house in our neighborhood.  A few years ago, we were even featured on the evening news.    Filling a yard with decorations is expensive. When money’s tight, or you just want to save some money, how can you decorate on the cheap?

1.  Plan ahead. The best time to buy Halloween decorations is in the two weeks after Halloween.   After that, all of the seasonal stores are closed.   If you want the best selection, get up early on November 1st and hit all of the stores.  Prices drop to 50% or lower the morning after the big day, but won’t drop below that, even when the seasonal stores are closing for the year.   The goods will either be warehoused or bought back by the suppliers, so there’s no motivation to sell at cost.

2.  Buy used. You can find some screaming deals on Craigslist, but always check the prices.    I’ve seen cardboard and wooden coffins both going for $50.  One is a good deal, one is a ripoff.    Do some research and you can save a ton of money on some really neat pieces.    Last year, a local haunt decided to close shop after Halloween and posted a “going out of business” sale on Craigslist.  There were some excellent gory corpses for sale there.

3.  DIY. When department stores close, you can buy mannequins for little-to-nothing.  Throw some clothes and mask on that, and you’ve got a quick monster.    Grave stones can be made by gluing two sheets of insulation styrofoam together and using a Dremel to shape it and add the epitaph.  Make sure you brush paint it.  Spraypaint will eat the foam away. Finally, if you can run a drill, you can cobble together some truly intense props with the aid of some monster mud and discarded lumber.   Monster mud is made by mixing 1 gallon of latex paint with 5 gallons of sheetrock compound.    I get a gallon of paint from the “oops” bin at the hardware store, preferably in a dark color.    Dip some clothes in that, then put them on a a human-shaped frame built out of 2×2 lumber, and you have something not too disimilar from actual Hollywood props.

Over the years, I’ve managed to shrink my Halloween budget, while increasing the quality of my props.  It just takes some time and research.

Birthdays on the Cheap

Finance, Parenting

Birthdays are expensive. Shoot, I’ve said that before. It’s usually true, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are five ways to cut birthday party costs.   Note:  If you’re trying to cut costs on an adult party, just replace the word “kid” with “guest of honor”.

1. Location, location, location. The amusement park/pizza place is nice if you like bad pizza, but it’s certainly not cheap. The inflatable playground may be the talk of the school for a day or two, but it’ll flex your debit card in ways it’s just not used to. Why? Kids, being kids, are capable of entertaining themselves. They’ve got imaginations that should make most adults weep with envy. If that fails, make them play a board game or in the worst case, some video games. Lock the wild young’ns in the basement and let ’em go nuts for a couple of hours. It’ll be a blast, I promise.

2. Why invite the world? How many friends does your kid actually have? I’m not talking about all of the kids in school he’s not fighting with or every kid on the block that hasn’t TP’d your house. I mean actual friendship. If they don’t play together regularly, nobody will be offended about missing an invitation. Invite the entire class? That’s just nuts. Thirty ankle-biters smearing cupcakes on the wall? No thank you. You kid will have more fun with 2-3 close friends than 20-30 acquaintances.

3. Toy flood. What was the last toy your kid played with? The last 10? How many toys have been completely neglected for months or years? How many stuffed animals are buried so deep in the pile in the corner that they are wishing for a fluffy Grim Reaper to come put them out of their misery? Don’t buy your kid clutter. It’s a hassle to clean up–and you will–and it trains them into bad habits for a lifetime. One or two things that they will treasure(or, better yet, wear!) will work our much better for everyone than a dozen things to forget in a toy box. Too many toys guarantees that the kid won’t get attached to any of them.  Down with kid-clutter!

4. Designer Cake. Who needs a fancy cake? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you going to start a fire on the thing, then cut it up and give it to a dozen little runts to rub in their hair? If you can’t bake it yourself, a quarter sheet is cheap at the big box grocery stores and will guarantee leftovers. Nothing starts the week better than chocolate marble cake for breakfast on Monday.

5. Food. Don’t. That was easy. Scheduling is an important way to keep costs down. Don’t have the party at lunch time. For small children, 1:30 PM is about perfect. The parents won’t stick around once the kids are ready for a nap. For older kids, 4PM means they will need to be home for dinner. That cuts the menu down to kool-aid, light snack food, and cake. It also ensures that the party won’t drag on forever.

It’s possible to have a budget birthday party without being totally lame.  Give it a shot.  Your kids won’t mind.

This post is a blast from the past.

Scamming Disaster Victims

Finance

As we leave flooding season here in Minnesota, it’s important to remember that there are low-lifes who don’t mind preying on people when they are at their weakest and most vulnerable.  That’s true in many situations, but the one I’m talking about specifically is the post-disaster scam.

The most prevalent is probably the home-repair con.  If you have damage to your home from a disaster, be prepared to have people knocking on your door offering to fix your house.  We had a nasty hail storm a couple of years ago and were plagued with contractors for months.  Most of these were not con-men, but it is a safe bet that some were.   There are two basic home-repair cons after a disaster.

The first is to over-promise and under-deliver.   These people may just be inexperienced, but if someone claims to be able to replace your roof, your siding, and your deck for half of what anyone else is offering, run.   The solution is to get multiple quotes and to check licenses and references.   Then, get a written estimate.   No reputable company will complain about any of that. If it feels to good to be true, it probably is.

The second common home-repair scam is to take your money and run.   Most big contracting companies want to deal with your insurance company directly.   That’s because they know they can pad the labor costs and add a mark-up to materials.   Some just want to get the insurance money and run.  Either way, I insist on dealing with the insurance company myself, so I can pay the contractor when the work is finished to my satisfaction.

Another common scam is the advance-fee loan con.   This is perpetrated by scum preying on those people unfortunate, unlucky, or unwise enough to not have insurance to cover disaster damage.    They will promise below-market interest rates, fast closing, and no credit check.  All you have to do is give them a large down payment to seal the deal and they will “guarantee” the loan.   In my world, guarantee does not refer to the art of leaving the state with someone else’s money, but that’s how this scam ends.  Once again, don’t fall for “dream deals”.   Never give money to a company you haven’t verified is legitimate and never(ever, ever, ever) give money or personal information to a stranger over the phone.  If you didn’t initiate the contact and verify the company, don’t do business with them.

The third major con attacks the generous nature of most people when faced with another’s hardship.  The charity con.   Donating money to help people in need is an honorably act.  Please make sure that you are donating to an actual charity, not a scam artist with a credit-card machine.   If you didn’t initiate the contact, hang up and verify the charity is legitimate, then call back and donate money on your own.  You can verify a charity’s status by contacting your state government, usually the Attorney General’s office.

As always, you are in charge of your safety and security, both financial and otherwise.  Don’t let yourself be scammed.

 

Do you have what it takes to be wealthy?

Finance, Life

I saw this quiz and thought it would be fun to liveblog taking it.   Yes, I’m lame.   I’m going to take the quiz here.   I’m copying the questions over before reading the answers and answering each question before reading the next.

1.  How optimistic are you?

I have to go with A, the glass is half full, but I like to think I’m more of a “That’s half of a glass of water” kind of guy.

2.  When you grew up, your parents were:

A & C.  We owned a home, but money was always tight.   I’m picking C.   We always had everything we needed, so we certainly weren’t poor, but I also didn’t have every video game system in existence.

3.  How healthy are you?

A.  I can’t complain.  I’m borderline on a few issues, but overall, I’m pretty healthy.

4.  How smart are you?

I’d bet very few people consider themselves stupid, regardless of evidence to the contrary.  I’ll take B, smarter than most, and hope it doesn’t sound arrogant.

5.  What level of education did you complete?

B.  College.   I went to a tech school and took a diploma program.  That’s working out well for me, so far.

6.  Physically, you are:

A, B, & C.  I’m tall, heavy, and pretty darn sexy!

7.  What’s your sibling situation?

I have two and I’m the middle child.

8.  Are you married?

A.  Yes, to spouse #1.

9.  Do you have kids?

3 of the little monsters.  They are a money-drain, but worth every penny.  Most days.

10.  Do you exercise?

D.  I neither smoke nor exercise.   There’s no middle-of-the-road answer to this one.  You either hit the gym regularly, or you are a lump on the couch.

11.  People describe you as:

B.  Persistent.  I think the actual word used is “obsessive”.

12.  Do you believe a woman’s place is in the home.

A.  I may joke about it, but that’s not a choice for me to make.

13.  When it comes to work:

A, B & C.   I have a day job, but I’m also regularly pursuing side-hustles, including one that is 4 years old and relatively profitable.  Since I can only choose one, it’s A, because that’s my primary income.

14.  How would you like to jump out of a plane?

A.  I want to, but promised my wife I’d wait until the kids were out of the house.

15.  Who would you rather emulate?

B.  I’m not into an entourage, and have no urge to surround myself with 500 of my closest leeches.   Good times with good friends is enough for me.

I scored 39 out of 72, which puts me in “You’ve got a shot at real money!”   My financial outlook puts me at comfortable, but not care-free, which is an okay place to be.

What’s your score?

Investments are a Gamble

Finance

MS Queen Victoria Gambling
Image via Wikipedia

Or a scam.

If you’ve been reading Live Real, Now for long, you’ll know I hate scammers.  I particularly loathe scammers who prey on the hopes of the naive.  There is a special corner of hell reserved for those who live to steal the futures of the innocent.

For many people, especially day-traders, it is absolutely true that stocks are the same as gambling.  For too many other people, investments are an opening for con-men to ply their trade.

People invest their money to secure their futures.  They put their life saving into some investment vehicle and, hopefully, it grows to bring financial security.  Properly done, it’s not a gamble.

In the worst case, you get investment advice from a slimy, scum-sucking 3-card-monte dealer.  These blood-suckers–at best–don’t care about your future.  They only care about their commissions.  Others will do anything possible to run away with your nest egg.

So how do you avoid the karmicly-destined-to-be-cockroach fraudsters?

First, never invest more then you can afford to lose. Gambling rules apply.   If you can’t afford to lose it, you need to keep your money someplace absolutely secure.  Your mattress, buried mayonnaise jars, or a simple savings account come to mind.

Do your research.  Is the person selling the investment licensed to do so?  What is the historic return?  Can you independently verify that?  If you run across anything that looks too good to be true, it probably is.  Run away.

Don’t fall for a time crunch.  If something is a good investment today, it will still be a good investment tomorrow.  Take you time, do the research, get the details in writing, and get a second opinion.   If you are supposed to keep the investment a secret, it’s either a scam or a crime. Always cover your own butt.

Be safe.  Keep your money.

For more information, see the SEC, the FTC, the CFTC and FINRA.