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Don’t Cheap Out

How do you answer a question like “What are things you never go cheap on and why?”. Think about it – the question cuts with mischievous delight into your personally held biases towards common purchases. Not only does the question force self-reflection, it’s really asking you, “What are you purchasing that you know you can save money on, if only you tossed your biases out the window?”. Devilish indeed!

A little about myself. I’m a software engineer in Silicon Valley (an area of land roughly defined as San Mateo and Santa Clara counties in California), married, no kids, and a home-owner. I also write for (and run) the web site Don’t Quit Your Day Job… when my day job is through for the… um… day.

How to Spend Money You Don’t Really Need To!

I have a confession to make: when it comes to dress shirts, I never go cheap. Dress shirts in general aren’t closely associated with my industry, or California in general – you’re more likely to find college t-shirts and flip flops than dress shirts and cap toe bluchers. However, growing up outside of Boston, Massachusetts, I think I had a fair amount of Puritan formalism instilled in my dress style!

In my closet I have approximately 25 to 30 dress shirts. The most common label you’ll find is Brooks Brothers, followed by Joseph A. Banks (JAB runs yearlong sales, so it’s best to wait for the shirts to be marked down). I’ve got a few shirts from the Jermyn Street shirtmakers. I also have some MTM (made to measure) shirts – the highlight of my wardrobe, but I’m ashamed to admit their cost is in the triple digits after shipping. Wearing one of those also means my wife cracks yuppie jokes all day.

Here’s even more about me: I’m 5’10” and have a 42” chest and a 31” waist. If you know men’s clothing, you know those are silly proportions for buying off the rack clothing, but a 17-32 ‘fits’ me (the shoulders are in the right place). To translate – that shirt has a 17″ neck opening and 32″ sleeves, measured from the middle of the back. Even with a cheaper shirt, I could just pay $12 to my Tailor to bring in the waist and pull up the baggage in the chest area and under the arms. Of course, that’s how I justify the MTM portion of my wardrobe – the stitches are perfect when the shirt is made for your actual proportions. Even the ‘slim’ fits sold in store don’t come close to fitting someone like me.

Justifying An Expensive Habit

If there is anything to be said about the labels I pick – they last. Every MTM shirt I’ve had made for me is still going strong. The Jermyn Street, Brooks Brothers and Joseph A. Banks shirt also last a long time. When I have bought cheap shirts in the past, they rarely last longer than a year – and I am meticulous about hanging the shirts to dry. By that measure, the expensive shirts I wear are only expensive when it comes to initial costs – but by the end of their useful life their cost per wear is much less than the inferior quality shirts. Also, since I’m getting it tailored anyway (like I said, a fixed cost), I want any shirt that I bother tailoring to last as long as physically possible.

Of course, my line of reasoning requires my proportions to stay the same. I do build in a tiny bit of extra room when I get shirts tailored, but a significant shift in weight means a (expensive) new wardrobe.

Where to Economize if You Want Quality Shirts

It’s pretty obvious where you can save money (short of tailoring shirts yourself or finding a cheaper Tailor – I’ve had mixed results with those options). In fact, the most important quote is staring us in the face – “If there is anything to be said about the labels I pick – they last.” Yes, they last long enough that a used shirt isn’t a significant decrease in quality from a new shirt. That means, if you’re like me, you can buy used shirts on eBay, Craigslist, or in a Thrift Store. Wash it well and your Tailor won’t even know the difference!

So, what do you think? I’ve never considered myself part of the frugal crowd so I turn the mic to you: Should I cut out my expensive habit, or did I somehow convince you I’m not burning my money?

PKamp3 is a writer for Don’t Quit Your Day Job… Enlightened Discussion of Personal Finance, Economics, Politics and the Offbeat for the Night and Weekend Crowd. He also loves expensive shirts to the consternation of a certain subset of his readers.

Stand Up For Yourself

Life, Parenting

maths — Image by Sean MacEntee via Flickr

Monday night, my son was struggling to get all of his homework done before bed. He had a 6 page packet of work from his advanced math class that he was supposed to have done over the weekend.

When I asked him why he hadn’t done it, he told me he forgot about it.

I wasn’t happy.

We’ve had a lot of conversations about responsibility and planning over the years. He knows better.

Cue Dad Lecture #26.

Towards the end, when I’m building up this rocking crescendo about how what he does now will affect him for the rest of his life, I stopped.

“Buddy, weren’t you sick on Friday?”

He didn’t get his weekend homework until Monday. Of course he didn’t do it over the weekend.

Dad Lecture #26 immediately transitioned to Ad Hoc Lecture #4, titled “Why did you let me chew you out for something you didn’t do?”

I’ve always tried to raise my kids to be independent. I’ve never stifled asking questions, and I am willing to explain my decisions to them, even if they don’t stand a chance of winning the appeal. As frustrating as independent, strong-willed children can be, I know it will serve them well as adults.

Now I’m trying to figure out why that fell apart on Monday. I wasn’t yelling at him and he doesn’t think I was. Sometimes, the perception of who’s yelling differs depending on which side of my loud voice you are on.

He doesn’t know why he sat back at took the lecture instead of explaining what happened. He apparently forgot that he was given that homework just a few hours before.

My question to all of you is how can I make my kid behave and obey when necessary, but still have enough backbone to stand up for himself when he’s not wrong? And know when each is necessary.

Christmas Magic

Parenting

When I was little, the world was amazing. The first snowfall was among the best days of the year. Everything was worth exploring, in hopes of discovering something new and fascinating, and everything was fascinating.

Stepping on a crack had serious implications. The wishbone in a turkey earned its name. Blowing out all of the candles on a birthday cake could change your life. The idea of some dude half a world away, watching you, then sneaking into your house to dish our rewards and punishments wasn’t pervy and sick, it was wonderful.

Then, one day, it all changes.

Somebody–a classmate, a older brother, a neighbor–let’s it slip that Santa isn’t real, and the implications snowball. That day, the magic dies.

Wishing on a star? Over.

The Easter Bunny? Hasenpfeffer.

Growing up to be Superman? Welcome to the rat race.

It’s a sad day when kids stop believing in magic.

I don’t believe in lying to my children, but I also don’t believe in destroying their magic. It’s a balancing act.

When my son was 6, an older boy at daycare tried to kill Santa for him. He was upset.

“Dad, is Santa real?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t believe in Santa.”

“Okay, I’ll let him know.”

“Nonononononono! Don’t tell him!”

Was it lying? Probably, but he obviously wasn’t ready to stop believing, so I let him continue. A year later, we had the same conversation, but the results were quite different.

“Dad, you’ve always said that you hate lying, so why did you let me believe in Santa?”

So I told him the truth. Magic is a frail thing that’s nearly impossible to reclaim and I wanted him to have that treasure for as long as possible. And, “Now that you know, you are in on the conspiracy. You’ve been drafted. Don’t kill the magic for anyone else.”

It was weird having him help me stuff stockings.

If you’ve got kids(and celebrate Christmas), how do you handle the Santa problem?

Human Interaction

Business, Life

Life may be like a box of chocolates, but it is certainly not a game of Sorry, where one person wins at the expense of all others. It is entirely possible for everyone to win in most voluntary interactions.

For example, if my company gives me a $10,000 raise, it would seem like I win and they lose. I’m getting more money, at the expense of their bottom line, right? Maybe. But what if that raise spurs me on to make an extra $100,000 for the company? That makes it a good investment and a Win/Win scenario.

When I’m dealing with one of my side-business customers or an advertiser, I’m definitely pushing for the Win/Win. Of course I want them to pay me as much as possible, but I also want their repeat business, which won’t happen unless they walk away happy. If I insisted that each of my customers pay the absolute top dollar, I may come out ahead in the short-term, but what about next month or next year? It’s much better for both of us if we can find a happy middle ground.

The four basic forms of interaction are:

1. Win/Lose. This is where I win and you lose. Haha! The problem with a Win/Lose is that the loser isn’t going to come back to play next year. He’s not happy and he’ll probably tell his friends how unhappy he is. This is also the interaction that people are mistakenly assuming when they complain about excessive executive interaction. The CEO is making a million dollars while the folks on the assembly line are stuck with $15 per hour? It’s entirely possible that, if the CEO weren’t doing his job, nobody else would have one. That is, like it or not, Win/Win.

2. Lose/Win. This is where I give up everything, hoping you’ll eventually throw me a bone. It’s a cowardly interaction that won’t work well when dealing with someone playing #1. I’ll keep giving, you’ll keep taking. You go home happy, I go home sore. When it’s done, I won’t do business with you ever again.

3. Lose/Lose. Nobody wins. We fight so hard to get what we want, forcing the other side to give up as much as possible, while they are doing the same. At the end of the day, the hatred is flowing so strong, there’s no possibility of a relationship.

4. Win/Win. Yay! Everybody wins! Everybody’s happy! This will involve some compromise, but hopefully we can reach the happy middle ground where we are both smiling. If I’m looking for a deal that involves you paying me $1000 per month, is it better for me to push to get exactly that, or let myself get talked down to $750? If the $1000 is more than you can afford, so you quit with hard feelings after one month, the ongoing $750 is much, much better for both of us. It is actually in my greedy self-interest to give up that 25% to build our relationship.

Winning doesn’t have to be done at the expense of others. If you do it right, we all win.

Thug-cenomics

Finance

Recently, a friend of mine told me about a friend of his who was attacked by a flash mob. This was a negative flash mob, not the fun kind.

She was walking down the street with her phone in her hand when around a dozen thugs surrounded her, knocked her down, and stole her phone before running off.

With me being the person I am with the hobbies and side-hustles I have, certain things came to mind.

This is why standard capacity magazines should never be outlawed. Sometimes, a six-shot revolver just isn’t enough.
Before anyone complains about #1, when you are beaten to the ground by a pack of violent thugs, the length of your life is up to them, not you. They are the problem.
Walking down the street while talking on your cell phone is not the best way to stay aware of your surroundings. Would she have been able to get away if she had been paying more attention to the thugs on the corner than her conversation? I have no idea, but it’s certain that talking on a cell phone is a distraction.
Walking down the street with an expensive gadget in your hand is asking for trouble.
What were these thugs thinking? Even a $500 cell phone turns into a $50 mp3 player the moment the victim gets to a real phone to call the cell phone company. That’s a generous $50 payout. With 12 people, that’s means everyone gets $4.10 as their share. The federal poverty level is just under $12,000 per year, which means they would have to do this 8 times a day, just to get to barely enough money to survive.
In Minnesota, this is, at a minimum, 3rd degree assault, which carries a possible 5 year sentence and $10,000 fine. That’s 8 public attempts to throw away 5 years of their lives, every day. How can they consider this a good risk.

It was pointed out to me that this thuggery is probably made possible by direct government sponsorship, in the form of welfare checks, so this is probably just a way to pass the time. Somebody should tell those brutes that welfare checks stop when you’re in prison.

So I’m considering launching a basic economics class for thugs and street rats. I want to teach them how to do a risk assessment by comparing the level of loot to the possible outcomes of getting caught.

Possible test questions include:

I could stab that guy for the $10 in his wallet, but if I get caught, I’m facing 40 years in prison. Should I do it?
My flash mob makes $50 per phone we steal from defenseless women. Would my buddies rat me out to avoid 5 years of hard time, and do I consider that worth $4?
Meth makes the faces of my customers dissolve from the inside before killing them. Is it possible to build a sustainable business based on slowly killing my customers? What marketing skills do I need to develop to replace the natural attrition of poisoning my customers?
Meth labs explode. Is it better to hire my own junkies, or should I outsource that risk and take a smaller profit margin?
This is a shall issue carry permit state. There are nearly 100,000 carry permit holders here. That’s 1.87% of the total population and 2.6% of the adult population. Statistically, how many people can my friends and I jump before getting justifiably shot? Is that number times the $4 profit considered a good return on investment? What would the ROI have to be to make this a worthwhile career choice?

Anybody know any violent thugs willing to beta test my new class offering?

Counting Cards: How to Cheat At Blackjack

Finance

I don’t gamble much. I’ve got this boring kind of luck that let’s me gamble for a really long time on not much money, without ever winning big.

For example, when my wife was very pregnant with our first monster, we took a trip to visit my parents. It’s a 2 hour drive, and she needed a break halfway there. In the truck stop, we bought $5 worth of scratch-offs to pass some time. We turned in the winning tickets for more scratch-offs. And again. And again. Two hours later, we were out of winners, but had never accumulated more than $10.

Another time, we went to the casino to play slots. It took nearly 8 hours to spend $20. That sounds boring, but we had good conversation while we were playing.

I’ve never had a big win or a big loss from gambling, so I’ve always been kind of bored with the idea.

Now, cheating at blackjack, that’s a different matter. Pulling one over on the casino without getting caught…they make movies about that kind of stuff.

To be clear: counting cards in your head isn’t cheating. Legally, the worst that can happen is you can be asked to leave. To get a Hollywood-I-cheated-the-casino-and-got-caught-and-beat-by-the-mob kind of beating, you need to win a lot.

A lot.

To get started, there are a few things you need to know. One of those things is how to play blackjack, but I’m not going to get into the basics. If you don’t know how to hit, stand, or count to 21 without taking your clothes off, this guide may be too advanced for you. Come back later.

Super Basic Strategy

You don’t need to count cards to use this strategy. You will do better than most players if you follow along.

1. The dealer must hit, or take another card, if he has 16 points. If he has 17, he stands.

2. The hole card–the card you can’t see–is always worth 10. Of course, it’s not, but for the purposes of your strategy, assume it is.

That means, when the dealer is showing a 2, you’ll assume he’s got 12 points and will hit. If he’s showing a 7, you’ll assume he’s going to stand. If he’s showing an 8, your goal is to beat 18, not push for 21.

That’s it. If you do that, you’ll come within a couple of points of even odds against the house. Google “blackjack basic strategy” if you want to improve this.

Even odds isn’t good enough.

Card Counting

Counting cards sounds tough. Rain Man tough.

It’s not, but you’ll want to practice at home a bit before you try it in the really real world.

The rules are simple:

1. Cards 2-6 are worth 1 point.

2. The 10, jack, queen, king, and ace are worth -1.

3. For every card that is played, keep track of that score. This is a running score across multiple hands until the deck is replaced or shuffled, so don’t stop at a new deal.

4. Divide the running score by the number of decks remaining in the shoe. If there are approximated 150 cards in the dealer-thingy, that’s 3 decks, so divide by 3. If your running score is 18, that means the number your playing against is 6. If the casino is using a continuous-shuffling thingy, forget counting the cards.

That’s it. You’re never adding or subtracting more than a one, and you’re doing that against a number that tends to stay pretty low.

How do you use that, you ask? Easy.

When the score is up, bet higher. If it’s low or negative, bet lower. The higher the number, the higher your bets. If you’ve got a 5, a 6, or more, bet as much as you are comfortable with. If your playing score is low or negative, bet close to the table minimum.

Why does this work?

A higher score indicates that the main assumption of the super basic strategy is more likely to be true. When you’ve got a score of 10, you know a lot of lower-value cards have already hit the table, so it’s safer to assume that the dealer’s card is worth 10.

You don’t change anything about the way you play each hand, you just change the way you bet each hand. Counting cards doesn’t tell you specifically what’s going to happen during each hand, it just tackles the statistics of the game. It moves the odds in your favor, by up to 2 or 3 percent. Over one hand, this won’t help, so don’t sweat losing a hand here and there. Over an entire shoe of hands, you should be able to steadily win more than you lose.

And, as Brian Brushwood says, in the course of your life, very few things make a cooler story than getting kicked out of a casino for counting cards.

Do you play in casinos? Ever tried to cheat?

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Super Basic Strategy

Card Counting

Why does this work?