- Up at 5 two days in a row. Sleepy. #
- May your…year be filled w/ magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you…kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful. @neilhimself #
- Woo! First all-cash grocery trip ever. Felt neat. #
- I accidentally took a 3 hour nap yesterday, so I had a hard time sleeping. 5am is difficult. #
- Wee! Got included in the Carnival of Personal Finance, again. http://su.pr/2AKnDB #
- Son’s wrestling season starts in two days. My next 3 months just got hectic. #
- RT @Moneymonk: A real emergency is something that threatens your survival, not just your desire to be comfortable -David Bach # [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-09
Winning the Mortgage Game
There’s a game that’s often mistakenly called “The American Dream”. This game is expensive to play and fraught with risk. It single-handedly ties up more resources for most people than anything else they ever do.
The game is called Home Ownership.
At some point, most people consider buying a house. On the traditional, idealized life-path, this step comes somewhere between marriage and kids. That’s usually the easiest way to organize it. If you have kids first, you’re much less likely to buy a home. This is a game with handicaps.
Once you get to the point where you are emotionally ready to invest in the 30-year commitment that is a house, your first impulse tends to be to rush to the bank to find out how much money you can borrow.
That’s a mistake. If you take as much as the bank will qualify you for, you’re most likely to overextend yourself and end up losing your house. That’s the quick way to lose the home ownership game.
The best thing you could do is figure out how much you can afford before you visit a bank. Conventional wisdom says that your mortgage payment should be no more than 28% of your gross income, but that’s absurd. Who builds their budget on their gross income? I like 28%, but only of your net income. To make the numbers easier to remember, I’d round it to 30%. If you take home $3000 per month, your mortgage payment should be no more than $900 per month.
From there, it pretty easy to figure out how much house you can afford. Using this e mortgage calculator, you’d be able to afford a mortgage of $175,000 if we assume an interest rate of 4.5%. Throughout most of the United States, that will buy you a reasonably sized home, though certainly nothing ostentatious. Clydesdale Bank also has an excellent loan calculator.
Some people like to start out with an interest-only loan. That same emortgage calculator shows that an income of $3000 per month would be able to afford a $240,000 with almost the same payment. That seems like a good plan, but eventually, you’ll have to pay more than just the interest. Taking out a loan that will one day be more than you can afford on the assumption that you’ll be making more money by then is not sound financial planning. That’s the same logic that helped me bury myself in debt.
When you buy a house, make sure to base your payments and your mortgage on what you can realistically afford. Anything else, and you’ll only end up poorer and less happy than when you started.
2010 Budget Changes
We’re making some changes to how we manage our finances this year. Our destination isn’t changing, but the trip is.
- All of the cards are going away. Not necessarily destroyed, but certainly inconvenient. There’s a $7000 overdraft protection account attached to our debit cards. There’s no need for an “emergency” card. If it’s truly an emergency, we are covered. We are going to destroy some and ice the rest.
- We’re going to go “cash only”. We’ve going to the envelope system. There will be an envelope for grocery money, gas money, discretionary money, and baby crap. If there isn’t enough money in an envelope, it will have to come out of another envelope. If we don’t have enough money, we’ll have to do without, instead of spending imaginary money at 10% interest. Gas will be the exception, so we don’t have to bundle the kids up to pay for gas. No money, no spendy. We tried a “virtual envelope”, with every purchase tracked by category in a spreadsheet, but it didn’t work. Real cash, real empty envelopes. Discretionary money covers school activities, miscellaneous household item, and anything else that pops up.
- We’re going to start the “30 day list”. If we want something, we’ll put it on a list. If we still want it 30 days later, it will be okay, provided there’s money for it. This is part of what the discretionary budget is for.
- My wife is getting $50/month “blow money”. Absolutely unaccountable. If she doesn’t have this vent, the whole system will fall apart.
This is all stuff my wife and I have talked about and agreed to, but now, it’s organized and laid out. We HAVE to do it or something similar. We are both on board with this plan. We should see our debt management plan skyrocket, without feeling like we are missing out on life.
Invisible Cushion
Earlier this year, we experimented with abandoning the strict budget in favor of automating as much as possible on our credit card, and keeping our discretionary spending under control, but on the same card.
We failed. It was 2 parts lack of communication, 3 parts lack of discipline, and 1 part “we’re dumb”. Transitioning back to cash hasn’t been that smooth. The problem is that we went over budget for a couple of months and our renewed budget had to shrink to cover the credit card.
To recap: Coming off a few months going over budget, we had to tighten our belts even more than we had before…after breaking our good habits.
It didn’t work out well.
If one of us forgot to grab cash, we’d just charge whatever we were buying, which gave the month’s budget a spanking, every time.
Last month, I added a new category to our budget. It’s just a cushion. I’ve got $200 whose sole purpose is to make sure we don’t go over budget.
But there’s a secret.
The cushion is a secret.
I’m not a fan of hiding money from my wife, but I’m hiding this. Generally, I think that money and relationships and secrets don’t mix.
However…
She’s told me that, when she knows there’s extra money, she has an urge to spend it. If I told her there was an extra $200, she would spend it. If I tell her that we have $40o to cover our discretionary spending, and she goes over by $50, we’re still $150 to the good, which leaves me room to have lapses in discipline or memory, too.
Then, at the end of the month, any of the invisible cushion that is left over can get applied to our debt payments.
This system should let us keep rolling, with less stress and fewer arguments, while still helping us get rid of our remaining debts. The biggest flaw is the secret. I’m bad at keeping secrets from my wife, especially about things that affect both of us, but if i let it slip, the invisible cushion will go away.
What do you think? Am I a jerk for hiding part of our budget? Do you hide anything about your finances?
Sunday Roundup: Diet Redux
I had total diet fail last month.
From April to May, across 4 consecutive weekends, I put a bit over 1500 miles on my car on 4 separate trips. That is something like 10 times my average mileage.
That’s a lot of driving, squeezed around a regular schedule of work. Have you ever tried a drive through for low-carb food? Because of that, and the circumstances of some of my trips, I abandoned my diet on those weekends. Funeral food is rarely low-carb.
By the time those trips were over, I had spent so much time off my diet that “What’s one more sandwich?” became an easy justification. There is a reason I don’t break the rules I give myself. I can’t seem to cheat just once. Once I cross that line, it’s over.
So, instead of cheating on my diet and feeling guilty, I officially dropped it for most of the month of May. I decided it would be easier to get it out of my system than to continue worrying about it.
May’s over, and I’m back on the Slow Carb diet. My little fail cost me 7 pounds and 6.5 total inches(waist , hips, biceps, and thighs). I’m reasonably sure that most of that is water and will evaporate before next weekend.
Best Posts
My goal is to live my life so that I have no regrets at the end of it. That means pursuing my dreams and doing the things I love.
It’s easier to do the things I love when my life isn’t weighed down by the crap I don’t need.
Sweating the Big Stuff wrote a killer post on saving money simply by asking. Often, the easy things work.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled
Shopping Online: The Money-Saving Secret was included in the Festival of Frugality.
Money Problems: Paying Off Debt was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
5 Ways to Help Your Friends Stay Out of Debt was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.
Should Pupils Focus on Personal Finance was included in the Yakezie Carnival.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
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3 Worst Things About Being Financially Responsible
Everybody talks about all of the wonderful things that happen when you’re saving money and being responsible. I know I do. It’s true, good things do happen. There’s really nothing like the feeling that you’re suddenly not living paycheck to paycheck.
But what about the other side of the coin? What sucks about staying in the black?
1. You have to make choices. When you’re living on credit, you can buy a car, charge an expensive dinner every week, and go on vacation. If you’re not spending real money, then who cares? When you’re living for real, you have to prioritize. Do you buy groceries or video games? Do you buy sexy lingerie or a fancy dinner? Braces or college? You’re given a lot of choices, but you can only pick the ones you can actually afford.
2. You’re no longer the Joneses other people are trying to keep up with. The guy down the street, with the fancy car, big screen TV, and artificially perfect noses on his teenagers? You’re not him, anymore, but that’s okay, because he’s financing his lifestyle 9.9% at a time. Yes, a bit of incoming envy can give you a warm, tingly feeling, but it doesn’t put food on the table.
3. It’s boring. Taking a trip in a fast car and picking up an entourage for a 10-day party is fun. Balancing your checkbook and spending 6 months saving up for your kid’s braces is not. If you’ve been living like a rockstar, rolling back to a responsible standard of living is going to come as a shock, but it’s better than suddenly running out of money and having your world come crashing down around you.
Being responsible comes with a lot of downside, but it’s all superficial. The benefits are real, and long-lasting. What’s the worst thing you’ve had to deal with by being responsible?
