- Screw April Fool's Day. I'm about ready to clear my entire feed queue. #
- I definitely need a reason to get up at 5 or I go back to sleep. #
- Bank tried to upsell me on my accounts today…through the drivethru. #
- Motorcycle battery died this morning. Surprise 4 mile hike. #
- RT @ramseyshow 'The rich get richer &the poor get poorer' is true! Rich keep doing what rich people do & poor keep doing what poor people do #
- RT @ramit: "How do you know if someone is a programmer?" I cannot stop laughing imagining half my programmer friends – http://bit.ly/9MOipi #
The Spending Styles of the Rocky Horror Picture Show
- Image via Wikipedia
Everybody has a spending style. Like a fingerprint, it is unique to each individual, even if that individual is fictional.
Since it is the Halloween season, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a Halloween movie, I’m going to look at how those characters spend their money.
Janet Weiss – A Heroine
Janet is the stereotype of every suburbanite soccer-mom-who-hasn’t-gotten-married-and-had-kids-yet. She wants to keep up with the Joneses(“It’s nicer than Betty Monroe had! [Oh Brad!]”) and she is obviously impressed by and envious of people who have all of the trappings of the “finer things”. If she has a credit card, you can bet that it is peeling on the sides from over-use. While she wears conservative clothes and sensible shoes to go visit an old mentor, she’s almost definitely got a closet full of fancy shoes and a drawer full of real-baby-seal-skin g-strings. If Brad were smarter, he’d run, and not just because of her loyalty issues. She’ll never be content with a sensible car and modest house.
Brad Majors – A Hero
Brad is a pompous jerk who thinks he’s better than those around him. He’s also extremely conservative and slow to accept change. He’s going to give Janet an allowance and complain every time she spends a penny of it. His investment portfolio is well-balanced and configured for long-term growth and he’s going to rub your nose in it at the neighborhood barbecue. To shut him up, just ask why his kid was born with an accent and garters.
Magenta – A Domestic
What’s a domestic? Magenta is the most financially responsible person in the show. She’s third -in-command of an alien invasion, but still takes on a second job? That’s a woman planning for retirement. She’s not going to rely on anyone to support her. She knows how to enjoy a party, without having to spend all of her money on a glitter-suit.
Columbia – A Groupie (as Little Nell)
Columbia is incapable of making a decision that wasn’t pre-formed by her peer group. She’s doomed to chase every fad, hoping it will impress those around her. While she’ll always be remembered for her glitter-suit or the corset that isn’t quite tall enough, she’ll never be happy or have a spare penny in case of emergencies.
Riff Raff – A Handyman
Riff Raff has jealousy issues. He sees his boss and commander throwing a party and having a good time, but, instead of working towards being able to do that himself, he kills his boss and steals his house. He is greedy, jealous, and deceitful. Don’t ever turn your back on him, or he’ll steal your wallet, hit you over the head and bury you in the backyard just so he can pretend it’s his party.
Eddie – Ex Delivery Boy (as Meatloaf)
Eddie is out of his head (H-E-D). He’s the tag-a-long who will keep buying expensive dinners that he can’t afford in an attempt to impress whoever is around to see him pick up the check. He isn’t sure how to fit in, but he’s positive that he can buy his way there. In reality, he’s dead(spelled right) broke and will end up getting screwed.
Rocky Horror – A Creation
Here is the true blank slate. He’s just seven hours old, so he’s got no bad habits to break. Unfortunately, he’s never had to learn any hard lessons, so his head is easily turned by an glittered bauble or babbling, half-dressed flake. He’s incapable of making an informed decision about anything, so he follows everyone around getting whatever they like. He’ll spend his entire life getting by on his looks, which will almost always be successful, until life catches up to him and he dies broke and alone.
Dr. Frank-N-Furter – A Scientist
Frank knows how to throw a party. He travels 12 billion light years brings not only a keg, but the entire party house with him. Who wouldn’t want to be his friend? There’s a fancy house, a room to stay in if you drink too much, pretty people being built in the lab, and gourmet corn-fed delivery-boy being served for dinner. Watch out, though. He doesn’t tend to his job. One day, the credit cards will be maxed, the bank will foreclose on the house and send it back to Sweet Transexual Transylvania, leaving Frank penniless. Who will be his friend then?
Which Rocky character are you?
Science Fiction
Double Feature.
Frank has built and
Lost his creature.
Darkness has conquered
Brad and Janet.
The servants gone to
A distant planet.
What’s In Your Wallet?
- Image via Wikipedia
Seeing Crystal play copycat made me want to play, too.
This won’t take long. I quit carrying a wallet a few months ago in favor of a Slim-Clip. That helps eliminate wallet clutter.
Here goes nothing:
- $0. I usually carry a $150 or so all the time. I haven’t made it to the bank in a few days, and I spent my last $7 on parking.
- USBank Flex Perks VISA check card. 0.5% back on all purchases and, theoretically, up to 25% back on some.
- Penfed Platinum Cash Rewards VISA card. 1% on everything, 2% on groceries, 5% on gas. We don’t use this much, since we are primarily a cash family.
- Driver’s license.
- My health insurance card.
- Wells Fargo VISA debit card for my business account.
- Expired health insurance card.
- Car insurance cards. Car, truck, and motorcycle. 1 expired and 1 valid for each.
- AAA card.
- Carry permit.
- Business cards for 2 attorneys.
- Dental insurance card.
If I go through the rest of my pockets, I have a pocket knife, 16 cents, a Gerber Artifact, and my library card.
Including my jacket pockets will add a Cold Steel Sharkie, business cards, a lighter, another pocket knife, a fingernail clipper, a small moleskin notebook, a ticket to Evil Dead: The Musical and matching brochure, a pad of checks, hand-sanitizing wipes, and a diaper to the list.
Now that I’ve gone through my stuff, I threw out the expired cards. My jacket will certainly accumulate more stuff over the winter, but it’s spent the last 6 months in the closet.
What’s in your wallet?
Identity Theft: What To Do When You’ve Been Victimized
Credit Card Theft” width=”240″ height=”189″ />Have you ever been surprised by having a credit application denied? Or been told that you’re paying too much for your car insurance because you have bad credit?
There are 15 million victims of identity each year with an estimated loss of $50 billion. That’s a lot of cake. If you’re credit card gets stolen, you’re only liable for up to $50 of the theft, but what if your checking account is cracked or someone is opening accounts in your name? What is the indirect cost coming form higher interest rates?
Identity theft happens. It could happen to you.
What should you do if you become a victim of identity theft?
- File a police report. You’ve been victimized, make sure you have some documentation of that.
- Contact any credit card company that has possibly been affected. If you lost your wallet, call them all. If somebody has opening cards in your name, call all of those.
- Call the credit bureaus* and have a fraud alert put on your credit report. This will force any new creditor to take extra steps to verify your identity before opening a new account. Ideally, your identity thief won’t be able to make the grade. If that isn’t enough, look into an identity freeze. That will stop a lender from even seeing your credit report without your explicit permission.
- Close your bank accounts Depending on how severe the theft, you may need all new accounts at every level. If the thief has a box of your checks, or even your account and routing numbers, you need to close the accounts to protect your money.
- Report the theft to the FTC at 877.438.4338. You’ll get additional documentation of the theft, including an ID Theft Affidavit that can make it easier to clean up the mess.
- Hire a witchdoctor to curse the soul of your attacker. No, he probably won’t actually turn into a warty toad, but what if? Maybe the universe will wield the Magic Karma Hammer and beat him into a little greasy stain in the street.
The important thing to remember is to hurry. The longer you wait, the more damage will be done and the harder it will be to straighten out. As soon as you find out about the theft, start fixing it.
Have you had your identity stolen? How did you deal with it?
Discount Gift Cards: How Much Can You Save?
Do you know where you shop regularly?
Would you be happy if the things you bought there were suddenly, magically discounted?
It could happen.
I don’t think the game store down the road is suddenly going to institute a “Jason Rocks” discount program, but some of the bigger chains I visit have an unofficial option that can save you money, and it’s not a five-finger discount.
You can buy discounted gift cards. You can find a gift card exchange being run on a number of websites. How does it work?
There are two kinds of card exchange.
The first simply connects buyers and sellers. If you want to buy a gift card, you browse the list of available cards until you find something you like. You place your order with the exchange, who then take a fee and pass the rest of the payment to the seller, who’s got the job of sending it to you. When you get the card, you get to find out if the balance still exists or if it’s going to expire in the morning. Most people don’t sell a lot of gift cards, so their reputation isn’t really at stake. Avoid these, unless you like gambling.
The second kind of exchange actually buys the cards from the sellers and verifies the balance and expiration date before posting them for sale. When you go shopping, you’re dealing with a company that is putting its reputation–both with its customers and its bank–on the line. If there’s a problem, you’ve got someone to contact who probably isn’t going to vanish.
You visit the site, find a business you want to visit, and buy a card at a discount. The discount ranges from around 3% up to around 30%, with most discounts hovering around 10%. That means–depending on the store–you can get a $100 gift card for $90. Not a bad deal, especially if it for a store you’d be visiting anyway.
Have you ever bought a second-hand gift card? How did it work for you?
You’re Gonna Die, Part 2
You know that, at some point, you’re going to shuffle off of this mortal coil.
You will die.
Hopefully, you’ll have lived your life is such a way that the even won’t be easy for your heirs, but you can do a bit to make the process less painful for them. Do you want them gutting your house trying to find out if you have a will, or does the idea of a treasure hunt for a life insurance policy make you smile?
Assuming you don’t intend to sit in the afterlife giggling about how difficult you’ve made life for your offspring, the first thing you need to do is find a spot to put your important paperwork. This should, ideally, be a fireproof safe, which you can get for under $50. You’re looking for something big enough to hold the things that matter, while being able to withstand a bit of fire, in case the part of “Grim Reaper” is being played by an arsonist.
The next thing you need to do is put your important papers in the safe. Seriously, this beats both filing your insurance papers in a telephone book stacked in the corner and wrapping an envelope full of cash in a 10 year old newspaper and storing it with your recycling. It’s also superior to tucking an insurance policy in a coupon mailer and losing it the cracks of a chair.*
Important papers include:
- Your will
- Life insurance policies, including accidental death policies
- Bank account information, but don’t forget to remove these if you close an account
- Safe deposit box information
- Car titles and lien releases, if applicable
- The deed to your house
- Investment accounts
- Retirement accounts
Things that are not important papers for your heirs:
- The last 30 years of your monthly gas bill
- The last 30 years of your electric bill
- Home Shopping Network receipts
- Child support filings for your 33 year old daughter who has 3 kids of her own
- Coupon mailers
- Credit card offers
- 10 year old angry letters to the police department about that guy in the silver car who ran a stop sign in the grocery store parking lot
The final thing you need to do to make this all work is tell someone about it. Don’t hope somebody will find a book that has “In case of death, my will is here” scrawled inside the cover, buried in your kitchen. Really. And if that is your plan, don’t move the will later, without updating the book.
Your homework over the weekend is to gather up your important papers and put them in a box. Then tell someone about the box.
*I wish I was making this up.
