This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
Sunday Roundup: 30 Day Project, January Wrap-Up
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30 Day Project Update
This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.
I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.
Weight: I have lost 22 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 2 pounds since last week.
Total Inches: I have lost 11.5 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 since last week.
I’m sad. I’m only down 2 more pounds this week. On the other hand, I’m averaging almost a pound a day without exercising. I’m on a new belt loop and I’ve actually lost a ring size. I’m going to keep this up for another month. That’s the beautiful thing about 30 Day Projects: A month isn’t an intimidating length of time. My goal for next month is to drop another 20 pounds.
That said, this is a pretty easy diet to follow. If I get a hankering for a candy bar on Wednesday, it’s far easier to tell myself to wait 3 days than it is to tell myself that it will never happen. Moderation has never been my strong suit. It’s far easier for me to set some solid rules that give me a built-in outlet.
Best Posts
Do you really want to tie yourself down for the next 30 years. Sandy doesn’t, and I agree. 30 year mortgages suck.
Trent lists seven common bills and ways to save on each.
Free From Broke ran a guest post from Melissa on how–and why–to freeze your credit.
Larry Correia’s new book, Hard Magic, is available as an Early Advanced Read Copy from Baen Books. That means you can read the book before it is published. It’s not quite as polished as the final, but still quite good. I’ve read the first 7 chapters and am looking forward to reading the final version.
LRN Timewarp
This is where I review the posts I wrote one year ago.
In Make Yourself Accountable, I list several ways to achieve your goals, primarily by getting other people involved, either to talk you down or to participate in your public humiliation if you fail.
In 6 Questions, I reveal the details of how I manage my finances. The only one that has changed in the last year is #1. We have moved back to our debit card now that we’ve established better habits.
I also wrote a post about preparing your children to deal with their finances. The most important one is to teach delayed gratification. Yesterday, my son finally had enough money to buy himself a PSP, after saving for it for months. He earned it and he is incredibly thrilled to have it.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked
What Happens When You Save was an Editor’s Pick at the Totally Money Carnival. Thank you, Crystal!
5 Steps to Save was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
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Have a great weekend!
Bonding Relationships
People can’t be happy in a vacuum. We are social creatures. Even the most anti-social among us needs some human contact. How can you make that contact happen in a meaningful way? How can you connect with other people beyond some superficial meaningless chatter?
According to Keith Ferrazzi in his book, Who’s got your back, there are four mindsets necessary to build lifelong relationships.
1. Generosity. This is your promise to help others succeed. If have a skill that can help someone you know, why not give them a hand? when you help others, you are building social capital, which is a currency that cannot be bought. Since our lives are not ledger books, you can’t do favors with repayment in mind, but it is reasonable to assume that the people ou help will want to help you some day.
An often overlooked generosity strategy is to give away 90% of everything. I’m not suggesting you give away 90% of your wealth or possessions. I’m suggesting you give away 90% of your personal product. Plan to give away 9 times more than your receive. This will not only keep your from being disappointed, but it will also leave you feeling very fulfilled.
2. Vulnerability. It is important to let down your guard and let the world see your humanity. It’s almost impossible to truly connect with someone who’s shields are always up: the guy who seems to be invulnerable and unapproachable. The people you spend time with know your flaw anyway. If you pretend they don’t exist, you are only fooling yourself. I have a lot of problem with this one. Letting down my guard is incredibly difficult, in almost every circumstance. It is far easier to be strong than to let myself be vulnerable.
3. Candor. Total honesty is vital to establishing–and maintaining– lifelong relationships. Even the white lies can destroy your connections. If you can lie about the little things, you are planting doubts on everything else you do and say. Who can trust you then? Lying is inappropriate in almost all conceivable cases. I was raised that a man’s word is his bond. Almost everything you have can be taken away from you, but not your honor. That can only be destroyed by you. Without it, what do you really have?
4. Accountability. You need to follow through on your promises. Be Mr. Reliable(or Mrs!). If you say you will do something, do it! Nothing builds resentment faster than disappointing the people who are counting on you. If you can’t meet a commitment, let the soon-to-be-let-down know as early as possible, so other plans can be made. If you have a hard time keeping promises, then make fewer of them.
If you embrace these principles, you will be well on your way to building–and keeping–strong, satisfying relationships that benefit everyone.
How do you build your relationships?
$1500 Luxury
I’ve got some expensive habits. Not like Charlie Sheen snorting $2500 of blow of a hooker’s boobs, but still expensive.
My latest one is dancing lessons. Linda surprised me on one of weekly date nights a few months ago. She found a Groupon for the dancing studio we used before we got married. It was $69 for a month of unlimited group lessons.
When the month was up, we signed on for their beginner cycle of lessons, which cost another $400.
And now we’re starting the Social Foundation program.
Social Foundation is a series of classes that teach some advanced moves, but also to teach dancers how to lead and follow properly and how to dance socially and look respectable on a dance floor in any number of situations. Leading and following are important because every single dance move out there has specific cues that tell your partner what’s coming next. If she doesn’t know, you both look clumsy.
So we chose the four dances we’re going to learn better and signed up. We’re going to learn the Rumba, Waltz, Tango, and Swing. We’re already pretty good at Rumba and Swing, but we’re going to get better. Personally, I’m hoping to also figure out how to use the Tango on an open dance floor without crashing into people. That way, we can pretend to be Gomez and Morticia, my heroes.
Now, the thing is, dance lessons aren’t cheap. They cost about $100 per hour, where an hour is defined as 45 minutes. We’re rolling the last half of our beginner lessons into our social foundation lessons and paying $1400.
Ouch.
They gave us the option of financing it over 3-4 months, but I didn’t want to pay an extra $200 for the privilege. I think we’ll be tapping the vacation fund to pay for the lessons.
Why am I willing to pay this much?
Dancing is one of the very few things Linda and I both enjoy. We’re pretty good at it, it’s great exercise, it’s fun, and (shhh!) it counts as foreplay. It also doesn’t hurt to have the sidelines of the dance floor lined with people watching us dance, wishing they could do what we’re doing…or wishing their husbands were willing to learn how to dance. This also isn’t just something we’re doing at the studio. We are out on a dance floor dancing to a live band almost every week. That usually comes with about $25 in cover charges and drinks.
Fun, exercise, have sex, and inspire jealousy. That’s a winning combination. And finding things to do that we both love to do is difficult and easily worth the $2000 we’ve paid the dance studio this year.
How have you improved your situation today?
Every day, in some small way, it’s important to do something to improve your situation. Whether it’s paying down debt, researching inexpensive alternatives to your existing expenses, or something as simple as hugging your spouse or playing games with your kids.
Educate
I was once told that every day, you either get smarter, or you get dumber. Don’t do the latter. Never pass up an opportunity to educate yourself. Make the day good for you.
- Read a book. There are hundreds of personal finance books available. Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover is a great place to start.
- Read a blog. Once again, lack of choice is not a problem here. There are thousands of choices. My favorites are in my sidebar, to the left.
- Find a mentor. Failing that, get a PF-Buddy. Find someone you can call when you need the moral support to make an appropriate or difficult financial decision.
- Take a class. Whether it’s a personal finance class, or some other way of improving yourself, do it. Many cities offer affordable community education classes. Ad Hoc college courses are another option.
Elucidate
It’s incredibly important to understand your situation. If you don’t know where you are, how can you control where you’re going?
- Examine your finances. I heartily recommend Quicken to track your finances, but Mint is a great place to see where your money has gone.
- Know your debt. It’s important to know your debt. Own it. Know your fees and your rates. Know every cent you owe. Get a spreadsheet or a notebook and write it all down. Keep it updated. Mint is great for this. I update my debt-sheet monthly.
- Know your spending. This is another plug for Mint. There’s no better way to see where your money has gone in the past. I use Quicken for the present and future, Mint for the past and snapshots.
- Find your waste. Do you have the cheapest plans that meet your needs for television, internet, phone service? Do you have AAA and roadside assistance through your insurance company?
- Talk to your spouse. Discuss your finances. Make sure everyone is on the same page and there are no surprises or hidden bills. Plan together.
- Eliminate problems early. If you see a problem, eliminate it before it gets out of control. The earlier you identify a problem, the easier it is to eliminate.
- Family meeting. Get the family together so everyone can participate, even the children. Young eyes sometimes have a clarity that a lifetime of habits has clouded. If your kids understand the concept of money, they are old enough to participate and even help. Brainstorming means that no idea is a bad idea. It may not be implemented, but everything is worth hearing.
Eradicate
What’s left? Eliminate baggage. Kill your bills. If you’re paying for something you don’t want or need, get rid of it!
- Unnecessary items. Do you have an extra cell phone or an insured motorcycle in the garage? Time to cancel.
- Unused items. Do you really use the movie package in your cable bill? Are you saving money with Netflix, or would Redbox be a better option?
- Forgotten bills. Did you sign up for an identity protection scheme or an appliance repair plan for an appliance that no longer exists? Cancel!
- Fees. What fees are you paying? Do you have an annual fee for your credit card or minimum balance fees at your bank? Find new institutions. Loyalty to your bank may be costing you money.
Unused or unnecessary bills are nothing but unhappiness generators. They don’t provide value so trim the waste and get rid of what you don’t need.
Budgeting Sucks
Budgeting kind of sucks.
Filling out a budgeting spreadsheet, putting in all of your expenses, listing all of your income, tracking all of your spending. Yuck.
Balancing the fact that you may have $200 to spare, but if your gas bill is a bit lower one month then you have a some more money, but if your electric bill’s a little bit high, then you have a little bit less. It’s too much work.
Here’s the new plan:
I just opened up a new credit card. This credit card’s got a fairly high limit, not that I care since I’m never going to come close to the limit. It’s got an okay interest rate, not that I care–it’s going to be paid off every month. It also has a good travel rewards plan, so our family vacations can, to a large extent, be paid for.
Now, with this card, I’m taking all of my regular bills, and setting them up to be automatically paid by the credit card. It’ll get automatically charged every month. I won’t have to think about it. Once a month, I’ll just log on and pay off the card. All I have to do is make sure the balance stays under my monthly budgeted amount. I already know what I have to be paying each month, so, no problem.
This will make it easier to budget and track my actual spending. It’ll even make it easier to balance my checkbook, since right now, I’m logging into my bank account a couple of times a month to compare it to Quicken. Any budget helper is nice.
After this plan takes effect, my bank account will only have any ATM withdrawals that I need to make–which shouldn’t happen more than once or twice a month–and my checks to day care. There should be just six manual transactions every month plus all of my miscellaneous transfers to and from INGDirect, which should also be minimal– there should only be two of those each month.
This will simplify everything while at the same time giving me the maximum amount of travel rewards I’ve been able to find. Hopefully, it will work as well as I think it will.
